Exception (59 page)

“Ems, if I crossed any lines here, I’m so sorry.”

The pain in his voice nearly broke her. For the first time in their friendship, he was seriously upset, and as much as she wanted to, she couldn’t comfort him. Anger at herself and at the situation they were in heated everything inside of her. “You didn’t,” she whispered angrily.

Taylor reached for her hand, but before he touched it Emily let out a heavy breath and continued. “You didn’t cross any lines, because we don’t have them anymore. We’re just a big, messy, blur.”

“Then talk to me, Emily.” Despite his frustration, his voice was kind and loving.

Her head bowed low and, when she spoke, her voice was extremely weak. “I don’t even know what to say. That’s why I came here. I needed to think and whenever you’re around I can’t.”

“And?”

She shook her head, letting out a humorless laugh. “Nothing. I thought of all the people in my life and what they mean to me. I’ve got family, friends and the twins, but you . . . we keep saying we’re best friends, but we’re not. Best friends don’t act the way we do, and that’s fucking scary to me.”

Her words brought some relief to his painful heart. In fact, her words made him nearly hysterical with joy. Knowing he had to be super careful at that moment, he reached for her hands and released them from the deck. Holding her lightly around the shoulders, he twisted her around until she was facing him. Carefully, his fingers cleaned the tear running down her blotchy cheek, before returning to his pockets to give her some space.

“Being scared is normal, Ems. I’m scared of a lot of things,” he told her softly. Smiling at the curious look on her face, he continued, “I was scared of bringing you here and you seeing me differently because of this house.”

As expected, Emily rolled her eyes and looked incredulously at him, which made him laugh. “I know . . . but, I was,” he said playfully. “I was scared when I first realized how much I love waking up next to you, and that made me ridiculously scared to show you the yellow room a few days ago. And your reaction to me this morning, and just now, the running and the fear, it terrifies me.”

“It’s not you. I have all these things, these . . . these feelings in me and they scare me. They scare me shitless, Tay.” Her sad eyes and her whispered voice displayed perfectly the pain and effort it took to say those words.

“They’re just feelings, babe. What’s so scary about that?”

“You
know
what, Taylor. Feelings like these only bring pain and suffering. I won’t be put in that place again. I won’t fool myself into thinking I’ll be happy just to be shot down in flames again.”

Her words and unwillingness to meet his eyes broke his heart. He knew her well enough to know what she was doing; she was in survival mode. However, hearing those words and seeing the grief written all over her face and the effort she was putting behind denying the one thing he wanted most in the world was unbearably painful.

“Whatever you’re talking about here, Emily, doesn’t concern
this
and
us.
” His voice came out a bit more forcefully than he’d intended but it got her to look into his eyes, and for that he was thankful.

Holding her gaze, he continued, “Blurry lines or not, I’m your best friend, so listen to me. Your past is dead and buried. It doesn’t exist anymore, and you know it. The proof of that is that we’ve been sharing a bed for the past two weeks and you love it. Besides, it’s not just me you’ve opened up to. You’ve let Simon and Chuck in, and even my family. You’ve changed, Emily. Zombie you is gone. Now it’s time you let go because, as much as these feelings might feel similar, you know damn well they’re not the same.”

They were both silent for a while; both breathing hard and staring deeply at each other. “You’re right, but that’s not the only way to screw this up,” she admitted and his raised brow urged her to continue. “You said it yourself back home. You don’t play with what really matters and you don’t risk losing it, not ever. What if these feelings cost me everything?”

He knew that was it—the source of the problem. Every person she’d loved, in one way or another, had left her. Her parents never loved her. Her sister stayed behind when she decided to leave California. Her brother and Nana had died, and her only boyfriend cheated on and abused her. It was obvious that she was afraid that, if she admitted she loved him, if she made herself vulnerable like that, she might lose him as well.

Twisting his lips into a loving smile, he reached for her hand, removed her glove and brought it to his lips. He kissed her palm and each of her fingers, before placing the small hand over his heart and covering it with both of his. “Ems, if there’s one thing you’re not, it’s a pawn, and there is no game here. This is not a gamble. There’s nothing you could possibly lose in choosing to let go and change things. You’re safe.”

As the snow got thicker, she looked into his chocolate eyes, knowing without a shadow of a doubt that his words were true. Like a movie, every memory they had created together played in her mind. Every kiss and touch and word they’d exchanged came back to her. She finally understood why his skin felt so good on hers, and why she felt so safe his arms. And, as memories of him replaced the dark memories of her past, it all finally became clear.

Taylor loved her.

There was no doubt about it. She saw the love in every moment of every memory, as clearly as she saw it in the eyes looking back at her at that very moment. Illuminated by the light of his feelings, she was finally able to admit her own.

She loved him with every bit and piece of her heart.

Before she could find the words to tell him how much peace and joy this revelation brought, she saw his lips turning up in the biggest and most glorious smile he’d ever given her.

T
HE DROP-DEAD
gorgeous woman in the mirror vaguely reminded Emily of herself. You would think that the difference she saw was the result of a whole day of pampering. However, she knew that despite her perfectly styled hair, gorgeous make-up and the stunning fitted, off-the-shoulder red lace gown, the change had come from within. After years and years of sadness, resentment and ghosts that ran wild in her mind, she felt free.

“Oh darling, you look absolutely breathtaking.” Tina’s voice sounded behind her. She smiled widely at the compliment, yet another positive change her feelings for Taylor had brought upon her.

Much like her daughter, Tina had the enviable gene that guaranteed no one ever stayed mad at her for long. That quality had been put to the test when she interrupted the romantic moment that happened at the lake. Emily barely had time to process and enjoy the depth of her feelings and the peace they gave her when the endless calls, telling her it was time to get ready, started. After months of waiting, and weeks of confusion and doubt, she wanted nothing more than to throw herself into Taylor’s arms and kiss his lips. For that reason, the interruptions had made her livid. Those feelings, however, only lasted for a few minutes and, before their massages were done, Tina’s chattiness had softened Emily’s heart.

“You really like it, Mom? Don’t you think it’s a little much?” Emily smiled at the woman, who was dressed in a beautiful black and white number.

Tina had picked up on Emily’s change in behavior within minutes of meeting her after she’d come back from the lake and, therefore, completely understood the anxiety that was affecting Emily. With an adoring smile on her lips, she touched her hopefully soon-to-be daughter-in-law’s cheek. Not only did Emily not mind the touch, she actually enjoyed it. “It’s not too much at all, dear. After all, you’re the birthday boy’s date. But I do think you’re missing something.”

Emily looked up and down her body, doing a head count of everything she needed. Undergarments? Check. Dress? Check. Shoes? Check. The only thing she could possibly still need was a clutch, but being just a couple of flights of stairs away from the party, it seemed incredibly unnecessary. She turned her attention back to Tina with a confused look on her face, and that’s when she saw the jewelry box in the woman’s hand.

“Rick gave me this a few years ago, and I’d be honored if you wore it tonight,” she said, opening the lid. “The stone has the exact color of your eyes, and I thought it would look beautiful with the dress.”

Inside the box rested a diamond encrusted platinum necklace and a matching set of earrings. Hanging from each earring was an oval shaped sapphire, about the size of Emily’s pinky. With their straight lines and exquisite glimmer, the pieces were the most beautiful jewelry Emily had ever seen.

Overwhelmed, Emily looked up at the woman, whose eyes were glowing. “I don’t know what to say.”

“Nothing, darling. The look on my son’s face when he sees you will be enough,” Tina replied, taking the earrings from the box and giving them to Emily to put on while she fit the necklace around her neck.

With Penelope finally ready and looking gorgeous in a white silk lace dress that made her look like a fairy, the three women made their way down the stairs.

The animated voices of the men carried through to the second landing, and as soon as Taylor’s voice and laughter reached Emily’s ears, her heart began pounding in her chest. Her breathing became more and more labored, and by the time they passed the mezzanine and started down the final flight she was sure that either her heart would tear through her dress or she’d pass out from lack of oxygen.

As soon as the foyer, which had been turned into a lounge, came into view, Emily craned her head to look at the men sitting on one of the white couches. All four of then looked impeccable in their own style. Rick had a classic black tuxedo with a black bow tie that, according to Penelope, was his traditional outfit for these parties. Gabriel, being the hipster that he was, complimented his fitted midnight blue suit with a plaid bow. And Nate wore a simple tailored suit, dark gray shirt and white skinny tie that looked perfect with gelled hair. But the moment Emily’s eyes found Taylor, everything else faded away.

In a graphite gray three-piece suit with a white shirt and red necktie, that matched her dress perfectly, he looked like a god. Thinking of all the inappropriate words Jody would use to describe him at that moment, Emily’s lips turned up in a broad smile, and she nearly giggled.

“Aren’t the three of you a vision?” Rick greeted, extending a hand to help his wife down the last two steps.

Taylor followed his father to the foot of the stairs, his eyes never leaving the woman who had his heart. Seeing the intensity of the look he was giving her, another of Jody’s descriptions made its way into Emily’s mind, and this time she couldn’t hold the excited giggles in. Placing her hand over his, all the people surrounding her disappeared. She was vaguely aware that Rick and Gabriel were saying something, but her attention was completely focused on the lips touching her fingers, the arm that snaked around her waist, and the heat pooling everywhere inside her body.

“Someone should invent a word to describe how you look right now,” Taylor whispered in her ear, before delivering a kiss to the sensitive spot just below her lobe.

“Poppy said I look ridiculous and sick. I think she meant it as a compliment.”

Taylor laughed. “Well, I was going more along the lines of gorgeous and stunning, but I’m getting old, so if those are the cool words . . . babe, you look absolutely pathetic and diseased.”

As the sexiness in his voice made her knees wobbly, his words made her nearly snort with laughter, calling his family’s attention to them.