Exalted (13 page)

Meredith's
cry sliced through his thoughts, and he looked up to see Nathan charging him.

He
rose to his feet, the hellfire around him crackling as he moved—but Nathan
wasn't deterred. Cayne's only thought before the Stained boy crashed into him
was that he wouldn't move. There wasn't much point in shielding himself—the
pain from the hellfire made him numb to everything else—and he wouldn't hurt
Nathan.
Not again
.

The
boy swatted at him, causing the flames to pop and sizzle. His fist found
Cayne's jaw with a loud crack, and Nathan's arm was engulfed.

The
boy was screaming, sobbing, pummeling Cayne with everything he had. It wasn't
long until the hellfire had engulfed his whole body; along with his cries of
anger, now the Stained boy was roaring in agony.

Cayne
flung him off and, with a mere thought, extinguished the fire surrounding both
of them. He was surprised at how easily the Hell power obeyed him.

Nathan
sagged against the rocky wall, bleeding from his nose and panting; gray smoke
flowed up off of him as he glared at Cayne.

“You
bastard,” he breathed, and Cayne saw that his cheeks were singed, his brows
burned off.

Meredith
stepped toward him, reaching out like she wanted to touch his painful skin; her
hand hovered beside his cheek as her eyes slid over to Cayne.

Standing
there, across from them, made him feel strangely bereft. “You two can go now,
if The Adversary sent you. Lesson learned. It's been a good day in Hell. Lots
of pain, okay?”

“You
deserve more,” Nathan said.

“I
know that,” Cayne growled.

“Stop
it!” Meredith cried. She looked guiltily at Cayne, and he wondered if she
agreed with Nathan—if she thought he deserved more pain.
Do I care?
Yes, he did.

“We
need to get out of here,” Meredith told Nathan, but his brown eyes were still
narrowed on Cayne.

“You
can't love Julia,” the Stained said. “You can't love anyone. You're evil.”

"I
might be, but I do love her."

“I
don't believe it," Nathan whispered. He turned away, his face in his
hands. Meredith turned with him, her body close to his, her hand stroking up
his back. She tossed a look back at Cayne, one he couldn't interpret, and he
told himself there was no way they were real. Why would they be together? Why
would they be in Hell?

He
thought of real Julia, of how she said she'd forgiven his past. She had given
him a fresh start. He wondered if he'd ever be able to do that, to grant
himself that kind of absolute forgiveness, the kind that would keep his guilt
from cropping up just in time to take masochistic enjoyment in the sting of the
hellfire.

Maybe
if he had a chance to save her. To stop Methuselah's machinations and live with
her. Do something good. What would he do, he wondered. What would he be skilled
at that was good?

Maybe
nothing. But he was surprised to find he wanted to try.

Cayne
looked back at Meredith and Nathan, and his heart stopped.

The
Adversary must have grown bored, he told himself—very bored. Because at that
second, the spitting image of Julia walked around a rocky corner. She wore a
polka-dotted bikini, and her hair was down—long, dark hair that shrouded her
shoulders like a cloak. Her brown eyes locked with his, widening as her mouth
fell open, and Cayne turned away.

It
was too much. He hadn't realized how tired he was until that moment, but he was
tired from missing her. Weary from worry.

He
heard footsteps behind him and begged for mercy. Could she go away? Just
disappear? He'd thought that with his promise of compliance, he'd outsmarted
the devil into leaving him alone; clearly, he had been wrong.

The
footsteps grew louder behind him, and Cayne squeezed his eyes shut. He felt a
warm hand on his back and his stomach twisted like a fish floundering out of
water.

“Go
away,” he groaned. “
Please
. I can’t
stand this anymore. I told you I would do it.”

“Do
what?” her sweet voice asked.

Kill
you, he thought with sorrow. The hand moved to his shoulder.

“Cayne?”
she said. “Are you okay?”

“Please.
Leave me alone.”

“Cayne—”
The hand tightened. “It’s me. It’s Julia. Why are you acting this way? Why are
you...” Her voice broke. “Why are you...
ignoring
me?”

He
wheeled around, throwing off her hand. Julia's beautiful brown eyes were wide
and wet, her mouth turned down. Her body in the bathing suit was gorgeous, and
he wanted so badly to touch her.

He
wanted her...

Alpha
in Heaven, how he wanted her...

It
was enough to drive him mad.

It
hurt so much more than hellfire.

Shaking
now, his stomach churning, Cayne tossed his arms out at her, the way one might
shoo a stray dog.
 
“Go away and leave me
to my misery. Isn’t that the point of this place? I already told you, I'll do
it. I love her, but I'll do anything to stop her from suffering." He
reached out, grabbing Julia’s shoulder, almost leaning on her, as agony clawed
at him. "Until then, can you just leave me be?"

“Cayne?”
The word shook. She blinked up at him, and he wanted to crush her to his chest.
Instead, he gave her a shove, whirled away, and heard the slip as she lost her
footing, and a splash as she fell into one of the pools.

Chapter Nineteen

She surfaced almost instantly, a sleek, dark head, elegant
shoulders, kissable breasts. His held his breath, knowing he should back away.
If he didn't, The Adversary really was winning this.

He stepped forward, wondering if he helped her out of the
water, would she feel like Julia?

Cayne stared down at the slender figure shivering in the
water, looking up at him with such confusion. Her perfect face, tight with
fear. He couldn’t help himself. He knelt slowly, preparing himself for a puff
of smoke and his father's ringing laughter.

She looked up at him through teary eyes, and Cayne couldn’t
stop his hands from shooting out. He almost grabbed her. Almost dragged her to
his chest. Almost crushed her. But he stopped himself.

He simply lifted her out of the water, sat her on the
rocks, and looked around, hoping for a well-placed apparition towel. All he saw
was Julia's friends. Lined up against the wall, dressed ridiculously. Looking
ragged.

Meredith was twirling her hair around her fingers; the tips
of them glittered with feminine nail polish. He remembered how real she'd
seemed earlier. She'd told him Julia was here.

He looked at Julia's face, trying to match it up against
his memories. He cycled through the lost girl in the warehouse, the nervous
girl in the penthouse, the content girl on the train, the angry girl in the
Stained compound, the girl who had helped him kill Samyaza. There was no way to
know for sure, but he decided he would rather have a few seconds with this
Julia than assume she was false.

He crushed her to his chest, pulled his legs around her so
his body was sheltering her, warming her.

“Julia.” He buried his face near her throat and hugged her
tightly.

Compared to his memory, this Julia was a little too thin, a
little too quiet. Cayne gently tucked her hair behind her ear. He brushed his
lips against her chin. Her lips trembled, so he pressed his mouth against hers,
loving her, wanting her.

And then he figured he had been a fool, because as he
kissed her, she writhed under him, trying to break free.

The first sob shredded his heart. She scooted back a
little, and he braced himself for her disappearing act. But instead she threw
herself at him, and Cayne pulled her onto his lap. His body burned with The
Adversary's power, and his skin glowed slightly, like he had a glow-light
inside him. She seemed to glow a little, too.

He hugged her hard, again. She groaned a little, and he
loosened his grip, looking down at her anguished face.

“God,” he whispered, “it feels so good to hold you...even
if you might not be you.”

Her eyes flicked up to his, big and brown and leaking
tears. “I am! I'm
me
! Look, I have burned hair and everything.” She
pointed to her head.

He clutched her chin, long fingers stroking. “Forget about
that. It doesn't matter anymore. I just need to see you. Any you.”

But she pulled away and shook her head, and someone behind
him snapped their fingers.

“Cayne, stop being dense!” He glanced over his shoulder,
and Meredith was there, looking like herself. “It's really us! I swear!”

“It's her,” Carlin said, from over Meredith's shoulder.
“That is Julia!”

He stroked her hair, and she looked up again. “Remember how
you got me that rare steak on our road trip to find Samyaza? I worked myself up
and got sick on the Amtrak. Remember that? Remember how stupid I was there?
Remember what I told you about group home? Remember how you drained that old
guy in Utah and I got upset?”

Cayne felt his body flush hot. So hot. He look down at her,
crying in his arms.

“Julia... If it's really you, you have to tell me
about...tell me about the exorcism,” he whispered. The Adversary didn't know
how it had started. He knew Cayne's memories of the actual event, because Cayne
had projected them into his own personal Hell, but he wouldn't have been
intimately familiar with the exact scenario of Cayne's turning. He hadn't been
paying attention to his son at the time. “Tell me about the exorcism,” he
murmured, tucking her hair behind her ear. “How did it start?”

Her eyes filled with tears, and she said, “You got cut with
a hatchet. Your leg bled. And then it healed. They noticed.”

“That's right!” He was squeezing her hand now; Julia threw
her arms around his neck. “Cayne! Cayne, Cayne.”

He felt warm. Completed. He had to swallow, because his
throat felt too full, and he knew that he was glowing, so hot he pulled away,
worried he might burst into flames.

“It's okay,” she said. “I kind of glow now, too,
sometimes.”

He wrapped his arms around her, bringing her close. He
kissed her cheeks, her nose, her neck. He ran his hands down her arms, thrilled
to be touching her. Thrilled she'd escaped. Thrilled they were together. He
couldn't wait to find out how. How were they here? How and why?

He looked at Julia. “Is there any reason to stay here?”

She blinked, like she didn't understand.

“Julia... Why did you come here?”

Her eyes filled with tears, she started blinking rapidly
again, and her face crumpled. “Cayne, didn't you want to see me—”

“YES.” He squeezed her shoulder. “Yes. I wanted you to
come. I just can't believe you did. Now we need to get out fast.”

Cayne looked around at the rocky walls of the cave, and he
had a wild thought: If The Adversary could control this realm, why couldn't
Cayne? He held Julia's hand, and together they walked over to the nearest wall.

If Hell was based on everyone's perceptions, but most of
all, The Adversary's... What made the Adversary different? His power, Cayne
answered. His unique, Celestial energy. Energy Cayne now shared.

He shut his eyes for a second, and he told himself they
were leaving. On the other side of this rock wall, they'd find...the Highlands.
A peaceful place in the Highlands. He thought of a hostel he'd once flown over,
near Ft. William. Packed with humans, it had looked busy at the time; busy, but
not too busy.

Cayne pulled a rock from the wall, blindly believing in his
plan, reasoning that his status as The Adversary's son had to get him
something. Believing with all his soul that they could step out of The Abyss
and back to Earth if he could just dig a hole in the rock wall.

Shifting Julia behind him, so if a rock fell she wouldn't
get hurt, he strained to lift a few more stones away, at first seeing only
darkness.

But it wouldn't be dark on the other side of the wall.

It would be green. It would be whatever he wanted.

A few more rocks, and he could feel everyone behind him,
murmuring and wondering what he was doing.

Still holding Julia's hand, he moved a final rock, stacking
it atop the others, and saw green.

YES!

He stuck his head out, finding himself in the familiar
landscape of the Highlands. Without meaning to, he let out a hooting laugh.

“Hell yes. HELL yes.”

He stepped through, pulling Julia behind him. When she saw
the landscape, her eyes went wide. “Are you for real?”

He nodded, smiling, and she stuck her head back through.

“You guys, c'mon! This is crazy!” She turned to Cayne.
“This isn't Hell, is it?”

“I don't think so.” Against his will, he beamed, and Julia
crushed him in a hug.

“OMG, Cayne, have I mentioned how much I missed you?”

Carlin climbed through first, followed by Meredith. “This
isn't real,” she insisted.

“It's real! I can feel the real,” Carlin chanted.

Nathan came through behind her, and though he looked
skeptical, even he couldn't argue with the absence of that indefinable,
weighty, stomach-churning Hell feeling.

Drew confirmed it with a disbelieving laugh. “Cayne, I'm
impressed.”

They stood at the base of the massive hills, looking out at
a rainbow in the mist.

“Is this really Scotland?” Mer said. “Cayne, you're sure?”

It seemed to be, and suddenly Cayne inhaled the subtle
scent of lavender. It was too real not to believe. He grinned, swept by the
most wonderful feeling of thankfulness.

Thank you
, he said, to no one in particular.

It was the last thought he had before he pulled Julia to
his chest and lost his hold on reality.

Chapter Twenty