Ex-Rating (6 page)

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Authors: Natalie Standiford

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&
Nobody’s perfect, but I’ll find a way to make them better.
%
My way or the highway.
#
I’m flexible—whatever.
@
If my guy dumps me, I’ll do anything to get him back.
#
My friends say I’m too hesitant.
%
If I get dumped, I just say, “Next!”

Scoring: Count the number of times you selected each symbol. Which one did you pick most? Read that answer section.

Number of %s:

Number of &s:

Number of #s:

Number of @s:

If you chose mostly %s, you’re a Hunter. You know what you want and you’re not shy about going after it. Just be careful you
don’t put some people off—not everyone likes your sledge hammer technique.

If you chose mostly &s, you’re a Cultivator. You’re patient, realistic, and most likely to be happy in love. Just be sure
you choose the right person to spend all that nurturing energy on, or you could find yourself wasting your time with someone
not worthy of your goodness.

If you chose mostly #s, you’re a Deer in the Headlights. The whole idea of love paralyzes you. Maybe you’re not ready yet.
Or maybe you’re just too insecure. Loosen up and have some fun. If things don’t turn out the way you like, it’s not the end
of the world.

If you chose mostly @s, you’re Roadkill. You think you’re unlucky in love, but we’re not talking about luck here, honey. You
choose the worst guys, you approach them in the worst ways, and you leave your heart out in the street for anyone to cover
with tire tracks. Make friends with a Hunter and ask her to be your mentor. You need help!

“Help,” Lina muttered. “I’m roadkill.”

5
Rob’s Sister Who’s Not Self-Centered at All
To:
hollygolitely
From:
your daily horoscope

HERE IS TODAY’S HOROSCOPE: CAPRICORN: You will make a new friend today, which is good since it’s been a while.

R
ob’s in the family room,” Mrs. Safran said. Holly had only known her a short time but she thought Mrs. Safran looked older
suddenly, her cheeks sunken, her skin lined and sallow, the circles under her eyes deeper. “I’m going to lie down for a few
minutes.”

Mrs. Safran padded down the hall to her bedroom. Holly felt sad watching her. The Safrans had recently divorced, and Rob’s
father was dating a lot. Mrs. Safran wasn’t dating at all. On top of that, Mrs. Safran had spotted Mr. Safran on a date with
another woman. Rob didn’t like to talk about it, but clearly his mother was taking it hard.

Holly walked through the living room to the sunny family room, which opened onto an outdoor patio. Rob was sitting on the
rattan couch with his brother, Gabe, who was living at home and taking classes at Geddison College. Rob was tall and athletic,
with thick, unruly brown hair that reminded Holly of teddy bear fur. Gabe looked a lot like him, only smaller, less muscular,
with black teddy bear fur. On the floor at Gabe’s feet, sleeping and drooling, was the Safrans’ big old St. Bernard dog, Murgatroyd.
Across the glass coffee table sat a thin girl with straight, lank brown hair—no teddy bear fur here—and plain, geometric features—circles
for eyes, a triangle for a nose, which somehow arranged themselves to make a pretty face. She was knitting something out of
lime green wool. Holly had never met her before, but she’d seen pictures: Rob’s older sister, Julia. She lived in Boston,
where she’d gone to college. At least, she did until now.

Rob and Gabe were watching a baseball game on TV. Rob reached for Holly’s hand and tugged her down beside him on the couch.
“Hey there,” he said, giving her a kiss.

“Hey,” she said. She waved at Gabe, who was patting a Nerf football. He tossed it to her. She caught it one-handed.

Julia looked up from her knitting. “Hey, Blondie. You must be the girl Rob never shuts up about.”

“She’s lying,” Rob said to Holly. “I never talk about you with my mouth full, or in my sleep. That, I know of. Holly—my sister,
Julia Safran.”

“Soon to be Julia Safran-McAferin,” Julia said. She held out her left hand to flash a big diamond ring Holly’s way. “What
do you think?”

“She just got engaged,” Rob explained. “She moved back to plan the wedding and drive us all insane.”

“Congratulations,” Holly said.

“What do you think?” Julia pressed.

“It’s a little rhymey,” Holly said. “Safran-McAferin. Are you sure you want to hyphenate?”

“Not that. The ring.”

“Oh.” Holly leaned forward to be dazzled by the ring. “It’s blindingly beautiful.”

“I like this girl,” Julia said, dropping her hand. “Rob, she passes.”

Holly snuggled against Rob’s side. “When’s the wedding?”

Julia rolled her eyes. “So soon. Six weeks! Michael—that’s my fiancé—wants to take the whole summer for our honeymoon, so
we have to get married before Memorial Day.”

“That’s crazy,” Holly said. “You can’t plan a wedding in a month and a half.”

“I told you,” Rob said.

“Luckily she doesn’t have a job,” Gabe said. “Or she’d be
really
busy.”

“Shut up, Gabe,” Julia said. “I just graduated from college.”

“Almost a year ago,” Gabe said.

“There’s not much demand for psycho-cosmetologists,” Julia said. “It’s brutal out there. Wait until you graduate—you’ll see.”

“I’ll have it made,” Gabe said. “I’m going to be a cowboy.”

“Psycho what?” Holly asked.

“She made it up,” Gabe said. “It’s not even a real job.”

“But it’s my dream,” Julia said. “I’m going to
make
it a real job.”

“She studied psychology,” Rob said. “Her thesis was about the psychology of makeup.”

“That sounds cool,” Holly said. “I bet makeup has a lot of interesting psychological meaning.”

“See? She gets it,” Julia said. “Anyway, I don’t have time for a job now. The wedding is a ton of work. We’re having three
hundred people.”

“Wow,” Holly said.

“Michael has a huge family,” Julia said. She knitted as she talked.

Holly rubbed Rob’s hand. She and Rob had been together for a few months now. They’d fooled around pretty heavily, but hadn’t
quite gone all the way yet. She’d been hoping for a little time alone with him, but he was glued to the game, and Gabe and
Julia didn’t seem to be going anywhere. “What are you making?” she asked Julia. She couldn’t imagine what would look good
in lime green wool.

“A hat for Rob,” Julia said. “To spruce him up a little. Don’t you think he’ll look hot in this color?”

Holly laughed. It would look ridiculous on him. “Better make it big, to cover all his hair.”

Julia laughed, too. “Don’t worry. I’m making it double the normal size. Like one of those Rasta hats.”

From the TV came the sound of a bat cracking. Rob and Gabe leaned forward intently. The ball went foul. Both guys went, “Aw,”
and fell back into their seats.

“The Giants suck this year,” Gabe said.

“So do the A’s,” Julia said. “So, Blondie, what’s your thing?”

“She’s a sex goddess,” Rob said. “She’s involved in a big scandal.”

Julia nodded and smiled but didn’t stop knitting. “Impressive. A sex scandal and you’re only—what—sixteen? Tell me all about
it.”

“My friends and I started this blog on the school Web site,” Holly began, and ran through the whole story.

“They were interviewed on the radio,” Rob said. “And all these tight-assed parents heard it and complained to the principal.”

“And now he wants to take us off the school site,” Holly said. “We have to remove anything the least bit controversial.”

“Which is everything,” Rob said.

“Well, not everything,” Holly said. “Some of it’s pretty tame, actually.”

“Does Mom know about this?” Julia asked.

“I didn’t tell her,” Rob said. “And she’s so out of it lately, I figured why upset her.”

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