Everything You Want: Everything For You Trilogy 2 (41 page)

“What’s the problem, Jack? Not used to a woman telling you ‘no’. Well this is what it sounds like. No!” I storm off. He’s got me so confused and mad I head off in the wrong direction. This is what he does to me.

He catches up in two strides, grabs my wrist and turns me abruptly. We move apart. Move together. Neither of us says a word right the way back to the car. He’s still a gentleman and opens the door for me and I’m still trying to be a lady, so I thank him coolly. Distant. Painfully numb. I’m still twisting between desire and despair.

I handled that badly. I’m so screwed up with everything on my mind but I could have done better than to let it descend into a row. The trouble is, where Jack’s concerned, my emotions are a fast-running tide sweeping everything downstream before it. And I allow it once again to create a monster ship-wreck.

I determine to apologise; try to retrieve the situation as much as I can.

As he walks round the back of the car to get in the driver’s side, I spot a large pearl earring lying on the car floor near my feet. I bend to retrieve it. The only woman I’ve seen wearing huge pearls this side of New Year is Amanda. She’s been in this car recently. She’s been on his boat and in his bed too, I know it. My newly tempered regret simmers to cold rage again.

Amanda has her fingerprints on everything that causes friction between Jack and me. I promise myself this party will be the last time I have anything to do with her. She’s trouble.

Jack sits down slamming his door behind him just a little too hard. It sets me off. I dangle the pearl right over his lap where the swollen remnants of his feelings for me remain. I let it drop. It bounces off his body parts and hits the floor on my side again. I coldly contemplate that’s sort of how it got there in the first place which does nothing to ease my bad mood.

“Your girlfriend dropped her pearls.”

“Here we go. The bloody diamond ring saga all over again.”

What diamond ring saga? I twist it off my finger where it has remained comfortably all day. “And you can have that back too.”

I release it into his lap where it nestles between his thighs. Immediately, I want to snatch it back but resist the temptation. My fingers are going nowhere near those thighs.

Even so, my temper dissipates second by second as he drives. Around Jack I just can’t stay mad. I simply love him too much and that sweeps every other emotion out of its path like an avalanche covering the rocky terrain below beneath a fall of pure mountain snow.

Yet it’s clear he doesn’t feel the same way. All my hopes fade. All the way back to Greenland Dock he doesn’t utter a single word to me, nor I to him. Anger radiates from him and blends with the sorrow exuding off of me.

I want to cry. I’ve ruined his birthday and our special day and I’ve probably just gone and spoiled my best chance of having my own happy ending too. Or maybe I’ve saved myself another soul-shattering rejection. Revealing I love him now would feel like a punishment I’m inflicting on both of us.

He offers me his hand to get safely on board again but it doesn’t mean a thing. I reason it’s his legal responsibility as Captain to see to the safety of his passengers, that’s all. He wouldn’t want to have to answer for me slipping into the dock. I go straight to the downstairs saloon and brood while he unties the boat. He climbs the ladder to the fly-bridge and starts up the engines.

Clearly there’s to be no undoing of belts or peeling off of jeans and definitely no rocking on the water with Jack deep inside me. That remains secret knowledge between Jack and his other lovers.

And I have Amanda to thank for that. Tonight, before I leave the party she’s planned, I intend on telling her exactly what I think of her. Then Jack can know the truth and once and for all he will have to make up his mind. It’s me or her. I won’t allow him to use me this way any longer.

My heart can’t take it.

Although right now, I don’t rate my chances. The boat already exceeds the gentle five knots we travelled upstream under. Jack can’t wait to off-load his disappointing cargo. Amanda’s plan will have succeeded and I’ll have played straight into her hands. Well, it’s for the last time.

I finger the eternal knot pendant. This I will keep forever, to remind me how foolish I’ve been for loving a man who just can’t love me.

It seems like the unending twists and turns of fate are not done toying with me.

Chapter Eighteen

I can’t seem to keep my distance.

I tug my sweatshirt on over my head and steal out back to climb the ladder. Jack’s been busy. The flag is already furled and bound and the flagpole disassembled. They’ll be no traffic stopping on the return journey.

Even so I crush myself against his back, wrapping my arms around his strength and warmth and holding them to me. He neither jumps at my sudden appearance nor moves to acknowledge my presence. He’s still pretty mad, I can tell. I suppose when you’ve planned the perfect birthday to include boat sex and your stupid date puts the kibosh on it, you’re bound to be a bit peeved.

I wonder what he’s done with the ring. I think about conducting a quick body search but decide against it. I’m not going to ask for it either. I just hope he’ll forgive me when I finally get to explain the motivation for those stupid words.

The truth is I’m a jealous girl.

When he circles my wrist with his fingers my heart drops as he pulls my arm away from his waist. I squeeze harder to show him I won’t let go but I can’t win. The relief I feel when he slides the ring out of his pocket and back onto my finger is immense. Even if it is for the paparazzi.

“I’m sorry, Jack.” And I’ve just made leaving and getting into town later on, ten times harder. “I’ll have boat sex with you any time you want.”

He’s so silent I hold my breath. I feel his body shake. “Boat sex?”

Is he laughing at me? “Yes, you know. Sex on a boat.”

“Do I know?” he asks me.

“I don’t mind if you’ve had sex with Amanda on the boat,” I whisper. It’s the biggest, saddest lie of all. I do. I really, really do. In truth I can’t bear to think about it but the image of their entangled, pleasured, sweaty bodies won’t leave my head.

His silence probably isn’t as long as I think it is.

“I’ve never had sex with Amanda on the boat.”

Which is as good as admitting he
has
had sex with her. Just not on the boat. Why must I always focus on the worst scenario? I’m happy and sad all at the same time. My feelings for Jack tear me in every direction.

He twists and wrenches me round in front, to face him as he steers. My arms snake back round his waist again for stability and closeness. The wind lashes my faithless back but his Arctic blue eyes shine on me with their clear sincerity. “I’ve never had sex with Amanda on the boat.”

“Okay.”

“I didn’t have sex with her in the Pagani either and I’m sorry you had to find her earring in there.”

“Okay.”

So he admits he recognises it is her earring. Clearly I wasn’t supposed to know she’d ever been in the car. For a second I wonder if she left it deliberately for me to find. I wouldn’t put it past her. It has her manicured fingerprints all over it. Just because she asked me to help her party plans, doesn’t mean she no longer sees me as a rival for Jack’s affections. One she wishes to eliminate.

“I asked her to drive my car to the marina yesterday afternoon as Blackstock was busy. She took a taxi home.”

Another part of his plan; leaving nothing to chance. That would have pissed her right off. She always resented running errands for my benefit. And it would mean she knew of Jack’s intentions for us today. The timing of her arrival at CaidCo suggests she must have stopped off on her way. I try to remember if she was wearing the pearl earrings but I can’t. I was in shock at the time.

But perhaps it’s good she realises things are taking a more serious turn between Jack and I. It’s not fair to give her false hope if, when I tell him how I feel tonight, he lets me know we have a chance to be together. I want a relationship that’s out in the open. And that includes exclusivity. Monogamy.

Jack is a great skipper. He explains that just as we ran with the ebb-tide this morning, we are running with the turning flow-tide this afternoon. I wonder idly if he would have happily spoiled such perfect timing for boat sex. The main hazard on this side of the river is all the shipping entering and leaving St Katherine’s Dock before Tower Bridge. Jack has to work his way around this busiest of waterways but I feel completely safe in his hands. When he sees an open stretch of water he gooses the lever until she bites down.

“We’re going faster than before.” I like it.

“About twelve knots. That’s the speed limit in the upper pool. More exciting, huh? I’ll take you out to sea one day and show you what she can really do.”

I kiss him. He hasn’t given up on me yet. “Deep sea boat sex?”

He smirks. “That would be taking sex to a whole other rocking level and I like the deep bit especially.”

All this talk of sex makes me horny. When he grinds his hips against mine I realise he is too and I’m already kicking myself about the boat sex. Now I’ll have to wait and I don’t know if I can.

I curl my hand over his erection and rub him firmly from base to tip.

“Girl, I hope you know what you’re doing,” he warns.

“I have a pretty good idea.” I slither down between the bodywork of the bridge and Jack’s parted legs.

His hand reaches down to stroke my hair, not to stop me. “Hell, baby.”

“Heaven’s on its way,” I promise. I pull on the zipper to open up his jeans as he stands rigid and still.

He stutters on the throttle when he either grips it too tightly or jerks inadvertently. Devilishly I slide one hand up his rock hard thigh muscle to ruin his concentration even more and he thrusts his pelvis towards me a fraction. I slowly tease his length from his boxer shorts, running the pad of my thumb over the tip.

“Christ, Tabby. I want to… to touch you.” His words are stilted. He’s rapidly losing control. This is one hot and horny guy.

“You keep your hands firmly on the wheel, Captain. The First Mate will do any touching up that needs to be done.” My voice is as seductive as I can make it.

I make direct contact with his flesh and he hisses air. I feel his stiffness kick back at me although I’ve hardly handled him yet so I play out the moment keeping my touch light; a whisper here and there. He so wants more.

“God, you’re such a beautiful tease.” He scrabbles to pull the sweatshirt over my head and I help him, tossing it to one side. He leans over and thrusts his hand down the front of my t-shirt, straight inside the cup of my bra. His fingers seek out the stiff erect nipple.

Now I’m moaning. I pull his hand away. Not because I don’t like it but because I like it too much. I want him where I want him, not the other way around.

“Undo your belt, Tabby. Open your jeans. Come on. Touch yourself. Do it for me, baby.” It’s so sexy when he makes it sound like it’s the most important thing in his world.

He keeps glancing down to see if I’ve complied. “Eyes up front, Mister. I’ll describe what I’m doing.”

I give his erection an extra-slow, firm stroke and he presses himself into the tunnel I make with my fingers and palm. “That feels so good, baby. What else is going on down there?”

“I’m pulling…” I pause to crank up the tension. “On my stiff, leather belt.”

“Keep talking.” He thrusts faster now so I withdraw my hand to the sound of his frustrated moan. “Oh, baby.”

“My jeans button is open and I’m drawing down the zipper.”

“Fuck!” The boat lurches.

“What?” I freeze.

“Nothing. Keep going. A stupid speed-boat shot out of nowhere. I’ve got it in hand.”

I grin and take hold of him again. “Me too.”

His laugh swiftly turns to a moan of pleasure as I do that thing where I rotate my closed fist twisting all the way along to the head and back down again.

“Where’re we at with you, kitten?”

“Mmm. My fingers are just sliding inside my little panties.”

“You’re wet, right? Oh, baby, I’ve got to moor up and take care of things.”

“You keep going. I’m doing just fine by myself.” I dip my head and tease at his sensitivity with my tongue to distract his attention back into the moment.

“God, you’re beautiful. Are you going to put those warm wet lips around me?”

“Aaahh.” I start panting.

“What? What is it?” He sounds so alarmed, I laugh.

“I’m playing with myself. It’s so sensitive.”

“Again. Do it again. Keep doing it.”

I place my lips around him and suck hard, feeding him tightly but slowly into the back of my throat. He lets out the longest, deepest groan when I retreat.

In truth, I got a little too carried away playing around down there. My own surging needs side-track me from continuing my little game of torture with him.

“I want you, Jack.”

“Stand up. Do it now.” His voice turns totally
Boss
. “Now, Tabitha.”