Everything You Want: Everything For You Trilogy 2 (26 page)

“Tie.” He recalls his excuse. “Do you think they’ll think we’re having trouble deciding on a colour?” Grinning at his own joke, he rolls his weight off me onto one side.

“They’re probably wishing they’d sneaked in a hidden camera after all the time we’ve been gone.” I widen my eyes at him in mock appalled horror.

He narrows his eyes back at me. “Dirty little girl.” He runs a firm hand right the way up my thigh, over my hip, along the smooth curve of my waist to cup my breast. He bends and kisses me on the belly before he gets up and heads for the shower. He turns at the inner door looking back at my naked limbs sprawled unashamedly over his bedcovers. “Beautiful, sexy, dirty little girl. I want you again already but I need to go to work.” He shakes his head as if he can’t believe the depth of his own lust and slips through the door.

I lay quietly listening to the running water through the open doorway and grin when I hear him humming
Hips Don’t Lie
.

When he appears again with a towel wrapped around his, I just watch him. He’s so beautiful yet so masculine. His muscles are defined and tight, his strength evident in the bulges they create and the sinews they expose as he moves. He makes me feel weak as a kitten and so completely feminine around him.

No matter what I told reporters about not caring about his past, I find myself considering who else he has made feel this desirable and womanly. Who else has he lusted after the way he does me? Of course that leads to thoughts of Amanda and I can’t get the picture of her lying on his bed, perfectly soothed and satisfied, out of my head. It will do no good to torture myself this way.

“Why don’t you take a day to settle in first and go to work tomorrow? Lenuta will get anything you ask for.”

“I might just do that.” I want to quiz Lenuta about Amanda anyway.

I put his cast-off shirt on and watch him as he dresses for the office. He looks at me in the mirror while he fastens his tie and I have to stop myself going over and fixing it for him. Instinctively I feel other women have done just that after making love and I don’t want him to associate me with any of them.

I follow him into the living room. Everyone appears to have left at last but I don’t feel relieved. I understand why when I spot her sitting on one of the sofas. She has one leg crossed neatly over the other as her manicured talons tap impatiently against the leather.

“You’re still here, Amanda,” Jack says, surprised, I think, but not shocked like me. I don’t know how he can be so cool about it.

She glares straight through me as if she could kill me between breaths while he’s occupied doing up the strap of his Patek Philippe watch. I’m barefoot, wearing Jack’s shirt, looking messed up and thoroughly bedded. It’s clear as crystal what we’ve been doing all this time. She can no longer be in any doubt that Jack and I are now lovers too.

She’s no more an idiot than I am.

Or perhaps that makes us equal fools. If she loves him as much as I do then I’m truly sorry for both of us. The thought of him with her, the way he was with me, devastates me. I feel no triumph. Rather I feel like crying.

However, she smiles warmly at Jack. “I thought as you’re going straight back to Zee-Com, darling, I could get a lift in with you. We have a lot of things to do together.” She’s much better at hiding her emotions than I am. Perhaps that’s what he likes about her. She makes no passionate demands of him. Perhaps that’s where I go so wrong.

I’m emotional, passionate, difficult. I can never accept Jack having another lover besides me. I cannot understand why he would want to. Am I not enough for him?

Jack appears as cool as February snow. He disappears to his study to fetch something. He’s a hard act to follow. It seems the
Boss
won’t allow either one of us to get in the way of anything he decides. I could almost pity Amanda. Despite how she’s tried to eliminate me, I understand the pain of sharing Jack Keogh’s part-time affections.

Soon enough I’ll be the discarded one, when he goes back to her.

I feel a little guilty too. Like a mistress caught
in flagrante
by the legitimate lover. But which of us is which? My chest starts to tighten until I can hardly breathe.

With Jack gone she speaks to me. “Enjoy it while it lasts little girl. Now it would seem we both know how exciting a lover he is.” She pauses with an expression of unbridled hatred on her face, to let that one sink in. “But Jack ultimately needs a proper diet to sustain his boundless needs even if he does engage in a toxic and insubstantial little snack or two from time to time. His physical demands are, shall we say, inexhaustible.”

It’s obvious they share a sex life together. She’s showing me she knows exactly what he’s like in bed. Implying I’m not the only one he’s cheated on her with either. She’s also telling me I’m temporary and she’ll tolerate it in order to keep him.

Amanda stands and draws herself up to her fullest height. Even with her elevated heels she’s not quite as tall as me in bare feet. It’s completely petty, I know, but I’m groping for confidence wherever I can find it.

I don’t have the heart to sling words back at her. I know she’s hurting like I am.

And I know I’m avoiding the real point. The fact is Jack Keogh is faithless. He hasn’t totally committed to either one of us. He flaunts us both before the other. She may endure this but I know I cannot. It kills me a little inside just to acknowledge it.

I’m stuck in this sham engagement and I’ll see the business through until I get to bid for Zee-Com’s advertising account, but I must not give in to Jack again. That is his power over me. Every time I make love with him I’m lost a little more. It will make the inevitable crash to Earth when it comes, so much more difficult to bear. I must get my own house in order so I’m ready to win that contract, then I’ll hand his account over to one of my executives and get on with my life.

Refuse to see him ever again.

“I’m sorry, Amanda.” For both of us.

Somehow my apology makes her more venomous. She stalks across and lowers her voice so she can’t be overheard by Jack. “Save the pity for yourself, you little slut. Are you really so pathetic you think he wants you?” She laughs. “He’s punishing you. No-one tells Jack Keogh how to live his life without learning to regret it.”

I feel tears welling and I won’t do that in front of her. I turn and walk away with as much dignity as a used girl wearing nothing but an old shirt can do. It smells of Clive Christian and Jack. Amanda’s spiteful and mean and I won’t let her hurt me any more than she’s already done. Yet she follows me.

“How we laugh about your pathetic little idea that you can play with the grown ups. Stay away from Jack Keogh and stay away from Zee-Com or you’re going to get badly hurt.”

I slam the bedroom door in her face and lock it. My breathing is ragged and shortened. She’s prodded every single one of my fears until they throb. I’m pretty sure she’s also threatened me. I have no idea what I’m going to do about any of it except stay the course I have just this minute decided upon.

In a short while I hear Jack rattle the bedroom door but remain inside quietly. My phone rings in my handbag but I ignore it. I press my ear to the gap around the door.

“She’s probably taking a shower, darling.” Amanda’s shrill tone penetrates even Victorian architecture.

He leaves and I give full vent to my sorrow. I picture her leading him into the elevator with her polished claws firmly attached to his arm. I must focus all my attention on CaidCo so I don’t have to think too closely about the way I feel. I need work to take my mind off him and her together.

I shower and dress in a business suit. I’ll get a taxi for now and arrange to pick up my car from home later. No doubt Brent Tapper’s Range Rover will be in my parking space anyway. But there’s something I must do first. I head to the kitchen in search of Lenuta.

“There you are, Tabitha. I worry for you.” Lenuta crosses the huge space and guides me to a chrome and black leather padded stool at the kitchen counter. “How you feel?”

“Fine.” I give her the stock reply. “Thank you.”

Her expression reveals disbelief. “You are not fine. I make tea. We talk.” She sets about the kitchen boiling a kettle of water and laying out cups. “You eat something. Those gulls eat everything I make.”

“Gannets.” I smile as I correct her attempt at English idiom.

She throws a hand in the air. “Whatever they are. They are greedy for food and greedy for bad gossip.”

Lenuta is nobody’s fool.

“How long have you worked for Jack?” I ask her as she pours boiling water and places the filled teapot in front of me.

“Not long enough. You pour when is good for you.” She saws thick slices off a seed-filled loaf and butters it.

“Jack’s good bread.” I say fondly.

She laughs at me. “Already you know him better than the other one.”

We glance at one another.

“Amanda doesn’t like me very much.”

Lenuta makes an explosion of sound. “Huh! That one likes only herself, I think.” She places chunky slices of crumbly Cheshire cheese onto the bread. “She wants Jack for money. And the position.”

“Status.”

“Yes. That is it.” She lowers her voice even though it’s only the two of us alone in the apartment. “And the sex.”

I look at her shyly. She laughs at me. “He must be good man for the sex, no? Strong. Handsome.” She demonstrates by squeezing her bicep.

I can’t help laughing at her earthy good humour. “Yes.” I agree. “He’s a very good man for the sex.” I blush as I admit it.

Lanuta guffaws with delight. “That sour cat knows you know it.”

“Sour puss.”

She looks at me incredulously. “She is more cat than puss.”

Funnily, I know exactly what she means.

“Eat, eat. We talk. Why you marry him?”

Her blunt question puts me in an awkward position. Jack told me his staff thinks our engagement is real. I don’t know what to say to her, I’m so on edge. I burst into tears. Lenuta rushes round beside me and puts her arm around me. “I know this. He make you. It is the cat.”

I stop snivelling. “Why would she do that? She wants him for herself.” This is what confuses me.

Lenuta laughs. “She knows he does not want her so she cause trouble for you and him. She hope he get over you if he have you. She knows she must set a trap to catch a mouse. She let him have you.”

“He doesn’t want me either.”

“He chase you to Paris!” She makes it sound like I’m blind to the facts.

“Brittany.”

She shrugs off the indiscernible difference. “He chase you. He want you. No cat makes Jack do anything he does not want. The question is, do you want Jack?”

I look at her and dissolve into tears again.

“I knew it!” she exclaims, delightedly, as if her eureka moment has arrived.

“What do you know?” I dab at my eyes with the kitchen paper she hands me, trying not to obliterate any remaining mascara.

Her voice softens. “You love him.”

I stare at her. I nod. She’s the first person I’ve ever admitted it to my whole life. It’s a relief that someone else finally knows.

She grabs and embraces me. “I’m happy. Jack is good man. He needs good woman not cat.”

She makes it sound so uncomplicated. “It’s not that simple. Jack has to want me too.”

She seems almost cross with me. I sigh. It seems like the whole world is cross with me.

“It is that simple.” She grabs my hand. “You have his ring.” She smiles at it. “Beautiful ring. You sleep in his bed. There is no cat in bed.”

Perhaps she hasn’t seen them together like I have. Amanda made sure that I did. “They kiss.”

Lenuta becomes animated. “Kiss?” She uses a dismissive tone. “One kiss does not make a summer.”

“One swallow.” I wonder what language school taught her those English proverbs.

“Kiss. Swallow. Sneeze. They have past, but past is not future. He does not love her.” She seems convinced of that.

“He doesn’t love me either.”

“Then you make him love you, with your love.” Her emphatic tone, gentles. “I think you will be easy to love.” She removes my uneaten sandwich, pulls me off the chair and pushes me out the kitchen door. “Go to work. Don’t give him everything he wants. Make him want it more.”

I’m in the elevator with my handbag shoved in my arms and Lenuta’s wise words ringing in my head. If I’m to believe her, I have a chance. If I’m to believe Amanda, I have none. For myself I’ve swung between the two poles so often I feel like a demented pendulum. I simply don’t know what to think any more.

“For doors and elevator.” Lenuta hands me a set of keys. “Remember cat has claws. But tread on tail, it yowls and runs.” She sends me off to work with her Eastern European wisdom. If she’s right about Jack’s feelings for Amanda it puts a whole new perspective on our little
ménage a trois
. It still doesn’t solve the problem of Jack’s lack of genuine feelings for me though. Or stop Amanda doing her level best to stop the situation from changing.

I walk to the station at Imperial Wharf to catch a train to Notting Hill Gate. From Kensington Church Street, I turn down towards the CaidCo offices. By the time I get there I’ve managed to pigeonhole my problems with Jack and Amanda to deal with later so I can give my undivided attention to my long neglected company, at least for the rest of the afternoon.