Everything to Nothing (33 page)

‘Yeah, of
course.’ Peter walked over and kissed her, then took her hand and
led downstairs.

‘Thanks Peter,
I had a good night.’

‘Anytime. Be
careful going home.’

‘I will be.
I’ll call you later.’

She reached up
and kissed him on his cheek. Then she turned, walked down his path
and turned towards home. As she walked she felt very light headed
and relaxed, but this was to swiftly change on reaching home.

*

‘Mum, I thought
you were cutting down?’

‘I had the beer
deary.’

‘Yeah, I know
mum, but the whole point of having the beer is to not have the
spirits after the beer!’

‘Oh, but I
didn’t have the spirits after the beer deary, I had the same at the
same time. Look!’

Sarah’s mum
pointed to what looked like a pint of lager. Upon sniffing the
lager though Sarah quickly realised that not only was there lager
in the glass, there was also a large amount of spirits. ‘What
spirit is in this glass mum?’

‘Gin. And
something else too. Can’t remember what.’

‘Gin? Where did
you get gin from mum?’

‘I found some
cash in your room. I used that.’

‘You’re fucking
joking me mum?! For fuck’s sake! That’s my college money, the money
I need to get to college every day and to eat too! Thanks mum,
thanks a fucking million!’

‘You get some
more next week don’t you deary?’

‘Yes, but what
about the rest of this week mum? I haven’t got a penny!’

‘Did you phone
up the alcoholics place? Is there a meeting I can go to?’

‘I phoned up
yesterday mum. You’re fucking banned remember, banned for life! And
if you weren’t banned then perhaps I would not have gone out last
night, perhaps I would have taken you to the meeting. Perhaps I
would not have had sex with a guy all night and not taken more
drugs than a Colombian whore! But no, you had to get yourself
banned so that is exactly where I spent last night, hiding from you
and the upset you give me, getting screwed in every position I
could think of while taking copious amounts of illegal drugs! And
then, and then to top it all off nicely, you’ve spent my fucking
money on something you said you were trying to cut down! Thanks a
million mum, thanks a fucking million!’

‘Did you have a
good night? That’s lovely. Is there a meeting I can go to? An
alcoholics meeting?’

‘You’re taking
the piss?! You’ve got to be taking the fucking piss?! I just told
you NO! There is no meeting in our area, we’ve got no money because
you keep spending it on booze so I can’t take you to another
meeting in another area and we can’t drive because guess what? We
haven’t got a car! That got sold a few months ago to get us out of
debt with the bank because you keep on spending the money on booze!
Vicious circle you know mum, vicious fucking circle!’

‘That’s lovely
dear. Where did you go last night?’

‘A boy’s house
mum. I got laid so, so many times and like I said, I took many,
many drugs.’

‘That’s lovely
dear. Did you have a good time? Did you manage to phone the
alcoholics place for me?’

If looks could
kill, Sarah’s mother would have disintegrated on the spot. Instead,
all Sarah could do was storm upstairs to her room and lie down on
her bed. It was only then that she started to feel unwell.

At first it was
mild as the final effects of the heroin wore off. Then she started
to get mild stomach cramps, similar to discomfort she felt at
certain times during her menstrual cycle. But she was surprised
when she put the cramps down to this because she had only just had
her period. When she raised herself into a sitting position to see
if this eased the cramps, she started to feel dizzy and the room
started to spin a little. So she lay back down, and this eased the
dizziness, but not the cramps. Then, a little later, nausea
descended on her so she scampered to the toilet and spent some time
with her head hovering over the toilet. Sarah did not vomit though,
so she returned back to her bed and closed her eyes.

She was
surprised when she woke up a few hours later, and was relieved to
see that the cramps and nausea had faded. But now there was
something else. For some unknown reason, her skin felt itchy,
mainly her arm that the drug had been injected into. To her, this
was worse than the cramps and nausea. She scratched her arms with
her longs sharp nails, leaving long red marks on her previously
young, unblemished skin. But, the more she scratched, the worse the
itching seemed to get. Closing her eyes, she tried to think whether
she had changed her shampoo or cleansing products recently, but her
mind seemed cloudy and she could not think. When she opened her
eyes, she glanced at the clock and it was early evening. She then
spent some time trying to remember who and where she had to go to
that evening. Eventually her mind tracked back to Peter, but she
was surprised about how foggy and slow her thinking was. And the
itching, the itching. After scratching her arms again so much that
she cut herself, she decided to take a shower to see if this eased
it.

While taking
the shower she discovered that turning the heat up as high as she
could stand helped ease the incessant itching. Also, the shower
helped clear her head, yet she was surprised again when she tried
five times to pick up the bottle of shampoo from the floor of the
shower, eventually managing to grab it while overbalancing and she
crashed into the tiled wall. Thoroughly she cleansed then returned
to her room to call Peter who reluctantly agreed to come and pick
her up, so she pulled on some clothes, not bothering with
underwear.

After five
minutes which she spent lying on her bed, she heard a car horn
outside and she unsteadily walked downstairs. She popped her head
into the living room and caught her mum swigging from a bottle
containing a bright yellow spirit. Without saying anything, Sarah
quietly closed the door and went out to Peter.

*

‘What did you
do this afternoon?’ Peter asked her as he slowly made his way
through the streets back to his house.

‘Nothing.
Slept. I’ve been feeling a little sick and I think I must be
allergic to some kind of cleansing product because my skin, my arms
especially, are so itchy.’

Peter
contemplated this for a moment. During his time searching the
internet for information on heroin, he had discovered that this
itchy feeling was an effect of taking heroin.

‘Might be your
shampoo or something. Or might be your washing powder. Have you
changed it recently?’

‘No, I don’t
think so. I can’t really remember.’ Sarah thought this strange that
she could not remember, but Peter did not. He knew that heroin
decreases mental functioning even after one dose.

‘It will come
back to you.’

‘Hopefully.
What are we going to do tonight?’

‘I don’t know.
Watch another movie, or we could go out?’

‘No, I don’t
feel like going out. Movie sounds good.’

‘Okay,
whatever.’

They completed
the rest of the short journey in silence and when Sarah entered the
house she went into his living room and collapsed onto the settee.
‘I feel rough.’

Peter thought
she looked rough too, not as attractive as she looked the previous
nights they had been together. She had no makeup on and was very
pale, yet her bra-less breasts looked brilliant as she lay on her
back and he thought he might as well quickly try his luck. He sat
next to her on the settee. ‘Roll over.’

‘Why?’

‘Just roll
over.’ She obliged, and he pulled off her jacket.

He caught a
glance of her arms and was not surprised to see them looking red
and inflamed, with clear scratch marks present on them. Pulling up
her short sleeved top, he asked her to lift up her arms, which she
did, so he pulled the top over her head leaving her naked from the
waist up. He whispered in her ear to wait right there, then he ran
upstairs and retrieved some aromatic massage oils from his bedroom.
Returning to her, he poured some of the oil onto his hands,
dripping some of it onto her back.

Sarah let out a
little moan as she felt the liquid land on her back, and she moaned
some more as his hands went to work, giving a full back massage.
When he worked down to her lower back he reached under her waist
and unbuttoned her jeans. Then he slowly pulled them down and was
not surprised, but still enjoyed the fact that she was wearing no
knickers. He poured some more oil onto her bottom and down the back
of her thighs, after which he massaged her bum and her legs. While
he massaged her legs, he gently parted them so he could see her
pussy, and was pleased to see it shining with moisture. What he did
not realize was that this moisture was from his oils, not from her
own natural secretions.

Although she
was enjoying the massage, Sarah did not feel any sexual arousal at
all, which certainly surprised her. After receiving such a sensual
massage, her insatiable sexual appetite would be usually crying out
for more intimate touches, but now she felt nothing. When he had
finished on her calves, she heard him stand up and remove his
jeans. She craned her head round and saw him standing there, naked
from the waist down, and a large erection pointing at her. ‘Peter,
thank you, the massage was lovely, but I really don’t feel like
this tonight.’

He did not say
anything at first, but instead knelt in between her legs and leaned
forward so he could whisper into her ear. ‘Remember how you felt
last night? Do you not want to feel like that again?’

‘I do,
but…’

‘I’ve got
plenty more of the drugs for you. Remember how good you felt when
they hit your body?’

Sarah’s mind
was in turmoil. Her body was crying out for some more of the drugs,
she knew that the itching and cramps would go if she could have
another dose. But she did not want to have sex, not like this, not
just for the drug when she was not even turned on. ‘No, I really
don’t feel like it…’

Peter cursed
her in his head. ‘Wait there.’

Peter walked
quickly out of the room again, back to his bedroom where he picked
up a bag of cocaine and also some of the syringes of heroin. Sarah
had not moved so she rolled over to see him when he re-entered the
room.

‘How about some
of this?’ He waved the bag in front of her nose. ‘Or perhaps madam
would prefer some of this?’

Sarah let out a
little moan of longing when she saw the syringes being waved in
front of her and she leaned forward to make a grab for one of them.
He quickly moved his hand away and made a negative noise.

‘No, no. I want
something first.’

She moaned
again. ‘What?’

‘You know
what.’

Sarah sighed
and then leaned back on settee and parted her legs. Quick as a
flash, Peter threw himself between her legs, forcing them further
apart with his body. He quickly lined up his penis with the
entrance to her vagina and without warning forcefully slid it into
her. Sarah dug her nails into her shoulder, not because of
pleasure, but because his strong penetration had hurt her. He was
very disappointed to find that after the initial moisture caused by
the massage oil, her deeper reaches where dry as bone. Pulling out
of her he reached for a bottle of the oils and poured some over the
length of his erect organ.

‘Peter, sorry,
I really don’t feel…’

But she did not
finish the sentence because quickly he pressed himself between her
legs and pressed himself down on top of her. He lined up again and
slid his oily organ into her. This time the oil made his passage
easier, but it was still a discomfort to her. When he started to
thrust he enjoyed it, but to her it was misery. With every one of
his thrusts he grunted, and she let out a moan which he took to be
moans of pleasure.

After a few
minutes though he noticed that she was not moving at all, not like
the previous times they had sex. Previously she had bucked under
him, rotated her hips and met each of his thrusts with one of her
own. Now though it was like having sex with a sack of potatoes. He
decided to carry on though, because he was still enjoying the feel
of her vagina even if she was just lying there.

Eventually for
her, she felt him tense, heard him moan and then felt his warm,
oily ejaculate pour into her. He then lay on top of her for a few
more moments, breathing deeply and squashing her, before he drew
his penis out of her and she shuddered as she felt him draw out of
her now sore vagina. Standing up, he grabbed his jeans and pulled
them back on before turning back to her. Sarah had rolled over and
had her face buried in a cushion.

‘What was
wrong? Why didn’t you want to do it?’

She turned away
from the cushion and the look she gave him was one of pure venom.
‘I told you I didn’t want to do it before you forced me!’

‘I didn’t force
you. All you had to do was say no.’

‘I did say no,
remember?!’

‘Not after I
got the drugs, I actually don’t remember you saying no. Speaking of
drugs, here’s your reward for having a vagina like a desert and for
lying there like a sack of spuds.’ He threw a syringe at her which
she caught.

‘That’s what
happens when a woman doesn’t want to have sex and isn’t turned on!
She’s dry and she just lies there!’ Sarah quickly spat back at
him.

‘Whatever. I’m
going for a shower.’ With that, Peter stormed out of the living
room.

For a few
moments Sarah lay, breathing hard, fuming inside. Then she said out
loud, ‘He near enough fucking raped me the wanker!’ A few moments
later she felt the syringe in her hand. She held it in front of her
face, contemplating the liquid inside. ‘Fuck it!’ she exclaimed
again out loud. ‘If he’s going to do that to me then I’m going to
take some of his precious fucking drugs!’