Everything That You Are (16 page)

“Michael, please. Whatever I did, I’m sorry. Are you punishing me?”

That got the man’s attention. He tightened his hold around
Kaden’s
wrist to near pain, then scooped him up again and walked them both into the shower. Michael slowly lowered him to the floor until the massaging stream of water hit his back, soothing and stinging at the same time.

“
Mich
—
ael
.”
His voice broke and he knew he couldn’t take it if this man used him the same way he’d been used in the past.

Michael cupped his cheeks in a tender embrace that belied his apathetic emotional response and raised his face until their eyes met and locked.

As Michael slowly lowered his body to kneel before him,
Kaden
gradually began to feel what he was keeping inside, which he had somehow managed to disguise from him. Feelings seeped into him like twisting tendrils of smoke. He could recognise sadness, longing, and
a desperation
so profound that it took his breath away.

Michael wrapped his long arms around his hips, leaned his head forward onto his chest, and began to weep silently.
Kaden
thought the despair flowing in waves from the man might drown him, but somehow, Michael was able to regulate its strength even as he sobbed against
Kaden’s
body as if he might fall apart.

Kaden
was so astonished by this that he forgot about his fears and placed his hands on the soft, wavy locks of black hair, digging his fingers in gently to massage Michael’s scalp. His own confusion warred with the racking pain surging from the man who was shaking so hard against him he was afraid he might shatter.

Kaden
had never been in the position of the comforter, except when caring for his sister. He had even less experience at being comforted himself. The feel of such a powerful man kneeling and weeping against him brought out all of his protective instincts. He had no idea what had brought this on, but found
himself
unable to retain any vestiges of reluctance to care for the man weeping silently against him.

Kaden
bent forward and wrapped his arms around Michael’s head, trying to offer whatever solace he could in a situation that completely baffled him.

Time was only measured by the force of Michael’s tortured sobs as he held on to
Kaden
as though he were his only lifeline to reality. Eventually, his sobs turned to fitful, shuddering breaths, which in turn ended until there was nothing left to expend.

Soft lips tickled
Kaden’s
belly as Michael asked in a hoarse voice, “You don’t remember any of it, do you? The doctor said you might have some memory loss.”

Kaden
searched his brain for any clue as to what he was talking about, but could find nothing. “Did I do something wrong?”

Michael let out a breathy gust of laughter and tilted his head up to fix his hazel gaze on him. There, on his knees, Michael began to relate the occurrences of a few nights ago.
Kaden
shook his head in emphatic denial.

“That can’t be. My life may not be worth living at times, but I’ve never wanted to kill myself. I have Missy and…” He wanted to say ‘you’, but was still uncertain about their relationship. “I wouldn’t do that on purpose. I wouldn’t…”

“I know, baby. That’s one of the things I love about you. You’re stronger than that. I didn’t tell you about the ravine and your eyesight isn’t sharp enough yet in the dark. You never saw it coming. I’m so sorry, baby.”

Kaden
didn’t even realise he had started to back away until Michael tightened his embrace, saying, “Don’t. I still have one week left, and I’ll probably be a little overbearing and you’ll have to forgive me for that, but I can’t let go of you. I need to touch you, to feel that you’re here with me. Is that okay?”

Kaden
was still reeling from the story of the events Michael had related to him. No matter how hard he tried, he could only remember as far as falling asleep on the man’s lap out at the lake they had visited. Something about the story, though, had him worried more than anything else.

“Michael, if you’re not gay, do you…do you wish I was a girl? Female?”

“What?”

“If I…if I were female, would you be able to love me then?”
Kaden
stammered.

He wasn’t sure if what he was asking was fair to the man. Michael had admitted that he had rejected
Kaden
partly because he was male, but he seemed to be putting forth the effort of getting past that fact now. While
Kaden
knew no one in their right mind would want him, because of his mixed blood and because of the marks Gregory had left with his whips, claws and teeth, he still didn’t want a mate to have to settle for him.

He couldn’t change his gender, and he couldn’t imagine waking up each morning to see the look of disappointment on his mate’s face when he was reminded that Mother Earth had given him a male mate.

Michael stood up. Kneeling, his head had reached
Kaden’s
chest—standing, he towered impressively over him.

Placing his large hands on either side of
Kaden’s
head and tilting it up, Michael said, “I don’t know if what I’m feeling is love—I’ve never been in love before—but I do know that I don’t want anyone but you. After I met you, I thought about the women I’ve slept with…”

A low growl issued forth from
Kaden’s
throat and his upper lip curled into a snarl before he could stop himself, which drew a short laugh from Michael.
“Easy, pup.
There was never any competition. Once I met you, you were all I saw, every day.
Your face, your body.
And most especially, this.”

Michael reached down with one hand and grasped
Kaden’s
limp cock, squeezing and pumping it a few times until it grew as hard as steel.
Kaden
let out a gasp of shock and his eyes widened in wonder. Michael continued to slide his hand slowly, from base to tip, along his shaft.

“There has been no one but you these past four years, and there never will be again.”

Kaden
watched as the man leant down to capture his lips, sliding his tongue seductively along them and delving inside the moment he opened up. Michael’s taste was every bit as heady as he remembered. He drank in as much of the arousing taste as he could and had to wrap his hands around the thick biceps surrounding him as he felt the room tilt.

A gentle thumb feathered across his cheek in a soft caress before the palm it belonged to moved to the base of his head, holding him there, giving him no chance to escape.

“I want all of you, baby.” Michael bent his knees until his own cock, already engorged with blood and weeping pre-cum, was level with
Kaden’s
, then opened his hand to grip both of them. The sensations of the water hitting their cocks, the warmth of their skin touching, and the friction caused by Michael’s hand that never stopped pumping, had them both groaning.
Kaden
began to thrust his hips frantically, but the larger man took complete control, setting his own languid, excruciating pace.

“Your cock.”
Michael gave a particularly rough tug that caused
Kaden
to gasp and sent a shiver through his entire body.
“Your perfect ass.
Your sweet smile.”
Kaden’s
bottom lip was sucked into that demanding mouth before Michael bit down with just enough force to cause a stinging pain that made the swirl of his tongue across it all the more electrifying.

The slow pace of the man’s firm hand on their cocks was beginning to drive
Kaden
insane. He could feel a deep pressure building in him that had all the muscles in his body tensing and releasing, but he needed more. He lowered his hands to Michael’s hips and dug his fingers into them, raking his nails down his buttocks and moaning when he felt him shudder.

“Your laugh.
The way you make me feel.”
The strokes began to quicken as Michael kissed his way down to his neck, where he licked at the mating mark.
Kaden
trembled and started to whimper pleadingly as a tingling sensation raced down his spine, letting him know that his orgasm was imminent. Michael pumped them both harder and faster and said fiercely, “Come, boy. Come for me.”

That deep, commanding voice sent him over the edge and he felt his balls tighten just before his release shot out of him. He dropped his head back, screaming his mate’s name, unable to keep in the powerful, rocking force of his pleasure. It blinded him and made him hyper-aware of the hard, glorious body pressed so intimately into him as he trembled with pleasure.

Moments later, Michael let out a loud growl and jerked against him as he found his own release. With the steam in the shower and the haze of their forceful orgasms still clouding their minds, it seemed as if they were floating in their own little world. The large hand never stopped pumping until they were both soft again.
Kaden’s
body went limp and he was sure he would have melted into the floor if not for the strong arm encircling him, holding him close.

“I never want to let you go, baby,” Michael whispered, bowing to kiss the top of his head.

Michael heard a muffled sigh from his mate and chuckled. Turning
Kaden
to the side and leaning him against the wall, he asked, “Can you stand for me?”

Kaden
offered a weak nod, but Michael made sure his knees were braced before reaching over to grab the bottle of body wash and pouring a good portion into his hand. He began to wash his mate’s body, starting with his neck and shoulders. When his fingers rubbed over the mating mark, he felt
Kaden’s
body shiver and he couldn’t stop the grin that curved his lips.

There were still a few bruises marring his chest and legs where he had been battered against the rocks beneath the water at the bottom of the ravine. Michael had tried to cover as much of his body as he could, but after they had crashed into the water,
Kaden
had struck his head on a boulder jutting out from the edge and had immediately lost consciousness.

It had been almost impossible to hold on to every part of the boy’s limp body as they had been tossed about by the shifting currents.

He’d remained conscious, but had suffered several scrapes in his effort to hold on to his mate. They were inconsequential, however, considering the fact that, had he taken just a few more seconds in discovering that his mate was gone, he wouldn’t be holding him, caring for him, right now.

When he got to the boy’s now slack cock, he heard a moan and watched it begin to rise again as he spread the body wash over it, thorough in his attention. His mouth watered as he realised he had yet to taste the long, thin spear rising under his ministrations, but there would be time for that later. He had no intention of letting
Kaden
out of his reach for as long as he could justify it, let alone out of his sight.

He moved down to his legs and feet, rubbing lightly over the abraded skin and massaging the muscles. Standing up again, he poured more soap into his hands and gave the younger man a brief kiss.

“Turn around.”

Lazily,
Kaden
turned and raised his arms to the wall, resting his head on his forearms as Michael began to wash his back. He was glad that his mate was no longer self-conscious about his scars around him, and he worked to keep the thoughts of how they got there from affecting his emotions.

Tomorrow, he would need to encourage
Kaden
to tell his story. If he knew the killers, Michael would need to know what his association with them was, and he had a feeling that it was connected to his scars, but that was tomorrow. Today, he wanted to lavish his mate with as much attention and love as he could.

After aiming the spray to rinse the soap from his mate and turning him around again, he poured a dollop of shampoo into his hand and lightly applied it to the man’s scalp. A small whimper sounded from
Kaden’s
lips as his fingers grazed over the knot on the back of his skull.

“I’m sorry, baby. You hit your head pretty hard, but I’ve got to wash out any blood left there.” He felt his chest tighten as the other man nodded his head and pressed his thin body against him, wrapping his arms around his waist and tucking his face into the hollow of his neck.

It showed an amount of trust that made his eyes sting with new tears, but he blinked them back and pointed the shower nozzle so that the water cascaded over
Kaden’s
hair and down his body.

When Michael was finished, he quickly washed his own body, keeping himself as close to his mate as possible. Afterwards, he turned the water off and grabbed a towel from the shelf above the toilet to blot the water from his mate’s soft, pale skin before drying himself off.
Kaden’s
eyes were half-lidded as Michael scooped him up and carried him back into the bedroom.

“I can walk, you know,”
Kaden
said in a teasing voice.

Michael shifted him in his arms so that he could grab his own clothes from hangers in the closet,
then
picked up a green, cloth bag from the top of the dresser before settling
Kaden
onto the foot of the bed.