Everything She Wanted (9 page)

“It’s a shitty way to grow up,” Ben agreed. “Do you have any other family?”

“None that wanted me after I shot my father.”

“Why’d you do that?” His voice didn’t hold a lick of censure
or disgust. He genuinely wanted to know how a ten-­year-­old kid ended up with a gun in her hand and a dead man at her feet. Kate often wondered how it all came down to that sad but inevitable fact.

“He stabbed my mother two dozen times because she refused to bathe me and get me ready for bed. After years of putting up with his ugly mouth, foul behavior, and punishments for whatever slight
he perceived, real or imagined, she put her foot down and stood up for me. So many times she’d turned her back, ignored the things he said or did, but that night she refused to back down.” Lost in the past, she said, “I remember her crying and screaming. All the blood. On the floor, the walls, him.” Her mother’s image and Margo’s lay separate in her mind, shifted, transposed, then vanished under
all that red blood.

Ben settled his hand over hers. The warmth of his touch brought her back. She blinked the nightmares away and shook off the icy shiver racing up her spine.

“I don’t even remember getting the gun. I just had it in my hand. My father sat on his knees on the floor beside my mother’s dead body. He held the knife in both his bloody hands. His head was down and his chest
heaved up and down as he breathed heavy from the exertion of killing her. He sat quiet after he’d jabbed that knife into her all those times. I stood in front of him, my mother dead on the scuffed linoleum. His head came up and his empty gaze met mine. I told him, ‘I hate you,’ and fired right into his chest. I kept firing even when the bullets were gone.” The
click, click, click
of the hammer
rang in her head and made her squint and jerk her head just like she did that long ago night.

“A neighbor heard the shots, called the cops, and they found me hiding in the closet my father used to lock me in when I was bad. I must have been really bad because I spent a lot of time in that dark hole.

“I spent some time in juvy, until the prosecutor had no choice but to render the case self-­defense.
I stuck to my story that he’d raised that knife to kill me after he killed my mother. But he didn’t. Doesn’t mean he didn’t need to be dead.”

“My mother killed my father. Shot him.” Ben’s deep voice came out flat and matter-­of-­fact, but she heard the underlying hurt and pain. “He liked to beat us. One day, she’d finally had enough. Like you, she knew he needed to be dead or he’d keep coming
back to hurt us.”

He’d used her words to show her that what she’d done didn’t repulse him. A man of the law, he didn’t judge her. He understood that what she’d done she had to do, because he understood what his mother had to do for him.

Kate found the courage to finish her tale. “My father had been prepping me for weeks. Hugs that lasted too long when he’d barely hugged me my whole life.
He’d touch me, sweep his hand down my cheek and neck and across my chest. He’d pull me out of my seat at the dinner table, wrap his arm around my waist and put his other hand on my chest and ask me about school without caring one bit what I said. The way he looked at me creeped me out. I knew something was coming. The fear in my mother’s eyes when she looked at me said all I needed to know. I tried
to avoid him, but he went out of his way to find me all the time.

“I’ve never told anyone but Margo the truth about that night.”

“I’m glad you trusted me with what happened. I understand how you felt about him. Scared, always looking over your shoulder, anticipating the next bad thing he’d do because you knew it was coming. I felt the same way about my father.”

“What happened to your
mother?”

“A very good lawyer got her off. She lives not too far from here. She works at a nonprofit animal rescue. She loves being with the dogs and cats. She married an accountant. He’s a total nerd and loves her to death. They take a cruise once a year and barbecue in the backyard during the spring and summer. She’s happy.”

“So, you like the new guy.”

“Anyone is better than my dad,
but Tom is exactly what my mother needs. He’s kind and thoughtful. He makes her feel special. Hell, the man worships her. That’s all I ever wanted for her.”

“That’s all I wanted for Margo.”

“And yourself?” Ben squeezed her hand. Sometime during their talk she’d pushed her empty plate aside and held his hand in both of hers. She stared at their joined hands. She didn’t release his, but
traced her finger over the veins in the back of it, giving in to her need to touch him, connect with him.

“I’ve been too busy being practical and working to really think about what I want.”

“Until Alex. He opened the door to you believing you could have someone in your life.”

“Not just someone. The right someone. I know not all men are bad ­people. I’ve just never given any of the
good ones a chance. Too stubborn and set in my ways, I suppose.”

“Too afraid to take a chance and have them disappoint or hurt you.”

She didn’t look at him, but nodded to let him know he’d pegged her right. Curious, she met his steady gaze and something in his eyes told her he’d done the same thing with the women in his life, never letting them get too close or attached.

“Things have
changed again. I don’t just have me to think about. I have Alex. Anyone interested in me has to accept him too.”

Ben didn’t miss a beat, or look away. “He’s a great kid.”

To change the subject to something easier for her to deal with, she threw out, “Donald handed me a secret key yesterday.”

Ben’s eyes narrowed on her. “You mentioned it last night. Did he say anything to you about
it?”

“ ‘Just in case,’ ” she said, repeating Donald’s ominous words.

She should have done what Donald suggested and made Margo come home with her. She should have told Donald if he was worried to take Margo and Alex away somewhere safe. Wishing for things to be different wouldn’t change what happened. Too easy to look back and second-­guess. All it did was make it harder to deal with reality.

“So, he thought Evan might do something.”

“Evan or Christina. Or both of them. From all I’ve heard, she’s not a nice woman. Very self-­centered. She cheated on him practically their whole marriage. He turned a blind eye and built his business. He tried his best with Evan.”

“Evan is nothing but a spoiled rich kid who thinks he should be given everything.”

“Well, he can’t have it
this time. He doesn’t deserve a dime if he killed them. Alex will get what he’s due—­the estate and justice for his parents’ deaths.”

“We’ll get justice for him.” Ben squeezed her hand. “I’ve got to get home, shower, and change. I’m due in my office by eight-­thirty. Detective Raynott said there’s an officer watching your sister’s house until they clear it as a crime scene, which should be
in the next day or so. You can go and pick up what you’ll need for Alex. Get into whatever that key opens and find out what Donald left you. Get your sister’s stash from the safe deposit box and come to my office. The address and all my phone numbers are programmed into your phone.”

She cocked her head to the side. “Wow, you’ve been busy this morning.”

“There’s something else I’d like
you to consider.”

“What’s that?”

“Moving into my place.”

One of her eyebrows shot up. Her hands stilled on his. She’d continued to absently play with his hand and fingers without really thinking about it. Knowing it didn’t make her stop.

“You want me to move in with you?”

“No. Yes.” He shook his head. “That didn’t come out right. I want you to move into Haven House. Just for
a week, maybe longer. To keep you safe. Evan and Christina didn’t know about Alex. They thought they’d gotten away with the murder-­suicide. Now that they know Alex is due to inherit, they may come after you to get him.”

“What?”

“They may even try to kill you to get control of him.”

Kate fell back in her chair and raked both hands through her hair. She stared at Alex. Her little boy.
So innocent and undeserving of all this turmoil in his life. She thanked God he had no real idea about what happened and all the changes coming to his life.

“I don’t want to scare you, Kate, but we need to be careful. We need to protect Alex. I need to protect you.”

“You need to protect me?” Did he mean that for his own personal reasons? The hope that he did rose up and made her heart
flutter.
Stupid. You can protect yourself.

“Alex needs his mother.”

The answer didn’t surprise her, but the disappointment did.

“Besides, if you’re close by, we can work on the legal issues faster and . . .” He paused and looked away.

“And?” she prompted.

“I’ll have a chance to get to know you better.”

“Well, let’s hope I come off a lot better in the coming days than I
did this morning. I mean, so far all you know about me is that I killed my father and turned into a workaholic social worker.”

“That’s not all I know. You’re a great sister and mother. You love your family. You’d do anything for them. That’s important, Kate. That matters.”

“Today is my first day being his mother.”

“You’ll do great.” Ben wiped his mouth with his paper napkin and set
it on his plate. “I cooked, you clean up. I’m late. I’ll see you at my office later today. Call me if anything comes up.” He rose and headed for the door. At the last second, he turned and walked back. He stood over her, leaned down, and said, “I know something else about you. You’re damn sexy in the morning. You’re killing me in that body-­hugging dress.”

Shocked, her mouth dropped open.
Her, sexy? She glanced down at the simple, comfortable tank dress that did in fact mold to her body.

He groaned, then kissed her on top of the head. “I mean it, be careful. If anything happens, you call me.” He walked out the door, reached back in, and locked the handle. He pulled the door shut and tested it to be sure it held.

Nervous by his extra attention to her safety, she stifled
the urge to call him back. His warning about Evan and Christina Faraday sent a chill through her. How far would they go to protect the Faraday fortune and cover up the murder? All the way. The simple answer worried her more.

She stood and plucked Alex from his bouncy seat. He whimpered and turned his head to the door.

“I know how you feel. I miss him too.” A very hard admission to make,
even to her son.

Her son. Alex belonged solely to her now. She’d never let anyone hurt him. She’d protect him to her dying breath. She hoped things with Evan didn’t go that far, but if they did, Evan would find her a far more difficult adversary than any other to take down.

Chapter Ten

K
ATE SET
A
LEX
on the floor inside the small alcove designated for safe deposit box customers inside the bank. She’d arrived just as they opened this morning. She wanted to get this out of the way, hand the papers over to Ben, settle this matter, and get on with her life.

Nothing is ever that easy.

“If there is anything you need, please let me know. When you’re
ready to return the box to the vault, I’ll assist you, but please, take your time.” The bank employee backed out of the alcove, allowing her the privacy she needed to sort through the meager belongings her sister left behind from a life cut short.

She tried not to let her mind get mired in all the things her sister would never do, the things she’d miss out on, the things that should have been
but would never be. The wave of grief hit her again, but she sucked back the sob rising in her throat, stared at the wood-­paneled wall, and blinked the tears away.

“Keep it together, Kate.”

She stared down at Alex. He stared back at her. Such a sweet face, so trusting that she’d see to his every need. Well, he needed her to do this.

Kate opened the lid of the large box and stared
inside. Several folders, envelopes, and stacks of cash. The money had to come from Donald. She’d hoarded it away for a rainy day. Kate had her own stash of cash, but nothing like this. She counted the bundles and came up with sixty-­five thousand dollars.

“Well, you’ve got a college fund,” she said to Alex.

She opened one envelope after another, discovering Alex’s birth certificate, the
deed to Margo’s house, the pink slip to her Mercedes, and Margo’s will. Her life reduced to what she owned and the money she saved. Nothing but papers locked away in a box.

Kate stuffed the papers into her leather satchel. She put most of the money back in the safe deposit box, but pulled out five thousand in cash just in case. Ben said he’d help her for free, but she wanted to give him something
for all the help she’d need to go up against the Faraday lawyers. No doubt Christina and Evan would fight her for every last dime they could get their hands on.

Finished, she called out, “Excuse me, I’m done.”

The bank employee walked over, took the box, and escorted Kate back into the vault to lock it back up. Ready to leave, but dreading her next task, she picked up Alex in his car seat
and headed out of the bank to her car in the lot. She secured Alex in the backseat, slid into the driver’s seat, and dumped her purse and satchel on the passenger’s side.

Her phone chirped with a text message.

BEN:
Heading into court for at least an hour. Everything okay?

KATE:
Finished at the bank. Heading to Margo’s house, then the morgue to collect Margo’s personal items. Funeral
home after that.

BEN:
Need any help?

KATE:
I got this part. You get the legal papers.

BEN:
Bring them to my office when you’re done.

KATE: ’K.

Kate started the car and backed out of her parking space. Her phone chirped again.

BEN:
I liked having breakfast with you. See you soon.

Kate stared at her phone and took those words into her fluttering heart. “I liked breakfast
with you too,” she said to her phone, but didn’t type it back to him. Those simple words wouldn’t tell him how much it meant to her that he stayed last night, a solid, protective presence to see her through the grief and keep the nightmares at bay. How could she tell him that his being there this morning had made it easier to face the day? Just knowing he was waiting for her, ready and willing
to help her through all of this, comforted her. At the same time, her need to see him, her wanting to have him close, scared her.

She’d always had the strength and conviction to get through anything on her own. Relying on someone else went against everything she’d learned. She wanted to believe he’d come through for her. Maybe his help would make a difference. Maybe it would make things easier
to share the burden. If he let her down, it would hurt. She knew that already, despite the fact they barely knew each other.

Someone blasted their horn behind her. She pulled forward to the parking lot exit and got out of their way. If she got out of her own way and let things happen naturally, maybe she and Ben would have a shot at . . . something. Their acquaintance had turned to friendship
this morning. Maybe it could turn to something more. She’d like a shot at something more with the sexy lawyer, whose smile did something strange to her insides.

The forty-­minute drive over to her sister’s house gave her far too much time to think. About Ben mostly. She easily distracted herself with thoughts of him, because thinking of her sister ate at her insides and made her gut sour.
She hated being sad. The empty pit in her stomach expanded every time she thought of her sister and all she should’ve, could’ve, would’ve done in her life. So she held back the pain building inside of her with thoughts of one hot lawyer and the multitude of tasks she needed to accomplish to put her life back in order now that everything had changed.

Alex slept peacefully in his car seat. God,
what she wouldn’t give to be too young to know and remember what was happening. It hit her hard again, all Alex would never know about his father and Margo.

Kate drove past the police car out front, pulled into the driveway, and stared up at the big house. The home Margo planned to raise Alex. The embodiment of Margo’s dreams. Kate’s condo was great for her, but a little boy needed space,
his own room, a yard to play in. So many things to think about and do. Not just to finalize Margo’s estate, but to do and provide for Alex.

She snagged the satchel off the seat, stepped out of the car, opened the back door, and pulled Alex out. His eyes squinted at the bright sunlight. She quickly pulled the shade down on his car seat. He fussed and kicked, ready to be free of the restraints.

“Just a minute. I’ll get you out of there and let you stretch out on the floor in your room with your toys.”

She walked up the path and met the officer who got out of his squad car parked in front of the house.

“I’m sorry, ma’am, but this is a crime scene. You can’t go inside.”

“My name is Kate Morrison. Detective Raynott spoke with Ben Knight this morning and cleared me to pick
up some things for my son.” She took a deep breath and let that sink in. Her son. It got easier each time she said it, thought it, embraced it. Too easy. How could she ever think she’d get over or be okay letting Margo raise her child? She’d struggled so much these last months and distanced herself from Margo and Alex. The guilt overwhelmed her that a part of her was happy to have Alex back and Margo
out of the picture.

“Miss Morrison, are you okay?” the officer asked.

Tears slid down both her cheeks. She swiped them away with her free hand and glanced down at Alex in his seat. She sucked in a ragged breath and silently apologized for her dark thoughts and betraying her sister.

“Um, this is the first time I’ve been back since I found my sister’s body. I’m sorry, it just hit me
all at once.”

“No problem. I’ll just need to see your ID and you can go inside.”

“Thank you.” Kate dug her wallet out of her bag and showed her driver’s license to the officer.

He nodded. “Um, the kitchen is . . . off-­limits.”

“I know.” They’d removed the bodies, but the kitchen hadn’t been scrubbed clean of the gruesome remains.

The officer eyed her. “Take your time. If you
need anything, I’ll be right out here.”

“It’s f-­fine. I’m fine.” She stuttered out the words with little reassurance behind them.

He turned, and went back down the path to his patrol car.

Kate trudged up the wide stone steps to the front door, inserted her key, and pushed the door open, but didn’t go inside. She stared into the foyer and kitchen far beyond. In the daylight, she could
see all the way to the back of the house to the dark bloodstained marble tile floor.

Oh, right, one more thing she needed to add to her list—­schedule a crew to come and erase the reality that couldn’t be scrubbed from her mind.

Just call 1–800-­crime-­scene-­cleanup for all your crime scene needs.

Oh, God, I’m losing it.

Alex kicked and fussed. Maybe he knew he was home and wanted
to be amid his things. Either way, she needed to get moving and do what had to be done. She set the car seat on the floor, unstrapped Alex, and picked him up. She held him to her chest. He head-­butted her and gurgled a bunch of nonsense. She hugged him close, rubbing her hand up and down his back.

“Come on, big guy, let’s get this done.”

She walked into the office to the left and dropped
her satchel on Donald’s desk, noting the many folders scattered on top. His briefcase sat on the floor beside the desk. It looked like he’d been working the night before, like he’d be back any second to sit down and finish. But he wouldn’t. He was gone too.

She liked him, but had never given much thought to how she really felt about him. Alex’s father. Now, she let the emotions come. How kind
and generous he was to her and Margo. She wished she’d known him better. She wished she had a million little stories to tell Alex one day about the man who lit up whenever he looked at his son.

The picture on his desk drew her attention. She picked up the silver frame and stared down at the beautiful ­couple. Donald, dressed in a dark suit, stood beside Margo. Her sister looked lovely in a
blue dress. Her favorite color. Donald held Margo close to his side with his arm around her waist. Margo stared up at him with a brilliant smile. Donald looked down at her, that same look of love and adoration she’d seen last night before she left.

God, had it only been last night? It felt like a lifetime ago. So much had changed in such a short time.

She turned the picture to Alex. “Look
at them. They were happy and in love—­the kind of love that lasts.” She had to believe that whimsical thought. “I hope you find that one day.” She hoped she found it for herself, for Alex’s sake. He needed a man in his life. A good man to show him what one looked and acted like.

Ben popped into her mind. So, deep down she thought he was such a man. She must if she was willing to trust him
to help her. Maybe she was just desperate for someone to get her through this, because the emptiness gnawing at her insides without her sister hurt too much to bear alone.

Kate stuffed the picture into her bag. She’d keep it for Alex. For herself. To remind her of all that could have been, all she was fighting for.

“Come on, let’s go get some more of your things from your room.”

Kate
walked up the stairs, trying not to let herself feel the emptiness and quiet of the house. It spooked her. Like her sister’s and Donald’s ghosts were still here, pushing her to do something, fix this.

Alex’s room seemed so peaceful and sweet. Light blue with painted birds flying across the walls. A happy little bunny stared out of a bunch of grass from the baseboard. This room was nothing
like the dull, dingy places she and Margo grew up in.

“Here you go, lucky baby.” She laid him down in his crib. He squealed and flapped his arms, trying to reach for the zoo animals spinning around on his mobile.

Unable to help herself, she smoothed her hand over his belly and smiled.

With Alex safe in his crib to play and stretch after being cooped up for over an hour, she went to
his dark wood dresser and pulled out several more sets of clothes and bibs. The kid drooled as much as he spit up his food. She pulled a few books from the shelves. Snagged the baby book about what to expect the first year off the nightstand. “I’m definitely going to need this.” She found a bag and several spare blankets in the closet. She stuffed everything into the oversized tote and turned back
to the room.

“What am I doing?” She didn’t know where they’d live, or what she really needed now versus for wherever they landed in the future.

She shook her head, pulled the tote strap up her arm to her shoulder, and went to the crib. Alex smiled up at her, happy to be in his house, his room, surrounded by his things, in his bed.

“Hi, happy baby. I promise I’ll fix this and have you
back to your routine.” She didn’t know much about raising a child, but in her line of work she’d learned one thing. Kids needed stability.

She carried Alex back downstairs to the office. She took one of the blankets from the tote and spread it on the floor, laying Alex down with a stuffed giraffe she’d also grabbed from his room. He held it by the neck and shook it, rattling the beads hidden
inside. He smiled with delight and her heart felt lighter.

With Alex happy and settled next to her, she opened the double doors on the credenza and stared at the safe. She didn’t know the combo, but pulled the key from her pocket, inserted it into the lock, and turned. She pushed the handle down and the door popped open. She sucked in a deep breath, opened the door wide, and stared at the
contents.

Margo’s jewelry. More cash. Lots of files. She pulled out the ones that appeared to have been hastily stuffed on top of several velvet jewelry boxes. She opened the first one. Divorce papers for Donald and Christina. The second contained a brand-­new will dated two weeks ago. The third held the adoption papers she’d signed for Margo to become Alex’s legal mother. She stared at the
bottom of the page, a sense of dread coming over her. She flipped through the other folders, including the documents from the fertility clinic. One folder held a lab report that rocked her to the core.

“It can’t be true.”

She turned and stared at her son; his blue eyes stared back at her. Her blue eyes. She saw so many pieces of herself in him.

Lost in her dark thoughts, she jumped
when her phone chirped.

BEN:
Find everything you need?

KATE:
We have a big problem.

BEN:
What’s happened?

What could Kate say? If this was true, she needed to show Ben the papers and figure out what it meant. How it happened? Who the fuck was responsible for this catastrophe?