the nail on the head every time!"
"Is it good? I haven't read it yet," I said absently, walking and
talking quickly, the way people do when they're trying desperately
to avoid a conversation.
"Good? It's fantastic! Now there's a man who gets it! Anyone
who can poke a little fun at Hillary Clinton is a friend of mine! I
thought I was the only person in this whole city who voted for
George W., but your uncle assures me I'm not."
"Mmm. I suppose that's true." I headed toward the elevator, but
he was still going.
"Any chance he'll be coming 'round to visit you anytime soon?
Would just love to tell him in person how much—"
"I'll definitely let you know," I called as the elevator doors fi-
nally shut him out. I shook my head, remembering my uncle's one
visit to my building and the way Seamus had fallen all over himself
when he recognized Will's name. It was upsetting, to say the least,
that Seamus personified my uncle's target demographic.
Millington nearly collapsed in paroxysms of joy when I opened
the door, even more excited than usual now that I'd returned to
working all day. Poor Millington.
No walk for yon tonight,
I thought
as I gave her a perfunctory scratch on the head and settled down
to read Will's latest rants. She scampered off to use her Wee-Wee
Pad, realizing immediately that she wasn't leaving the apartment
today, either, and then jumped onto my chest to read with me.
Just as I was settling in with my folder of takeout menus, my
cell phone vibrated across my coffee table like a wind-up toy. I debated
whether or not to answer it. The cell phone was companyissued
and, much like my new colleagues, didn't ever seem to rest.
I'd been out the last three nights, attending events the company
had put on, following Kelly as she did everything from consulting
with clients to firing slow bartenders, hosting VIPs, and arranging
for press passes. The hours were even more grueling than at the
bank—a whole day of office work followed by a full night out—
but the office buzzed with young, pretty people, and if one has to
spend fifteen hours a day at work, I thought I might prefer DJs or
champagne cocktails to diversified portfolios.
TXT MESSAGE!
appeared on my color screen. Text message? I'd
never before received a message or sent one. After a moment's
hesitation, I looked at the screen and hit Read.
din 2nite @ 9? cip dwntn on w.broad, c u there.
What was that? Some sort of cryptic dinner invitation, for sure,
but where and with whom? The only clue to its origin was a 917
number I didn't recognize. I dialed it and a breathless girl answered
immediately.
"Hey, Bette! What's up? You in for tonight?" the voice said, crushing
my hope that the person had simply dialed the wrong number.
"Uh, hi. Urn, who is this?"
"Bette! It's Elisa. We've only worked together twenty-four/seven
for the past week! We're all going out tonight to celebrate being done
with the Candace party. It'll be the usual crew. See you at nine?"
I'd planned to meet Penelope at the Black Door since I'd
barely seen her during my unemployment hibernation, but I didn't
see how I could turn down my first social invitation from my new
colleagues.
"Uh, yeah, sure, that sounds great. What was the name of that
restaurant again?"
"Cipriani Downtown?" she asked, sounding a bit incredulous
that I wasn't able to deduce as much from her earlier shorthand.
"You've
been,
right?"
"Of course. I love it there. Do you mind if I bring a friend? I
had plans already and—"
"Fab! See you both in a couple hours!" she screeched and
hung up.
I snapped my phone shut and did what every New Yorker
does instinctively upon hearing the name of a restaurant: I checked
Zagat.
Twenty-one for food, twenty for decor, and a still respectable
eighteen for service. And it wasn't a one-word name like
Koi or Butter or Lotus, which might seem innocuous but almost always
guaranteed an exceptionally horrid time. So far, everything
looked promising.
"To see or be seen is never the question" at this SoHo Northern
Italian where watching Eurobabes "air kissing" and "pretending to
eat their salads" is more to the point than the surprisingly good
"creative" fare; natives may "feel like foreigners in their own
country," but the high ratings speak for themselves.
Ah, so it was going to be another Eurobabe night. Whatever
that meant. And more to the point, what was I supposed to wear?
Elisa and crew seemed to rotate between black pants, black skirts,
and black dresses at work, so it was probably safe to stick with the
formula. I dialed Penelope at the bank.
"Hey, it's me. What's up?"
"Ugh. You are so unbelievably lucky that you left this wretched
sweatshop. Is Kelly looking to hire anyone else?"
"Yeah, I wish. But listen—what do you think about meeting
everyone tonight?"
"Everyone?"
"Well, not everyone, just my immediate work group. I know
we had plans, but since we always go to the Black Door, 1 thought
it might be fun to go to dinner with them. Are you up for it?"
"Sure," she said, sounding too tired to move. "Avery's going out
with a bunch of friends from high school tonight and I was just so
not interested. Dinner sounds fun. Where is it?"
"Cipriani Downtown. Have you been?"
"No, but my mother talks about it obsessively. She's been dying
for me to become a regular."
"Should I be upset that your mother and my uncle seem to
know every cool place in the city, and we're completely clueless?"
"Welcome to my life." She sighed. "Avery's the same way—he
knows everyone and everything. I just can't be bothered. The effort
required for mere maintenance is too exhausting. But tonight will
be fun. I'd like to meet people who plan parties for a living. And
the food's supposed to be great."
"Well, I'm not sure that's a huge selling point with this crowd.
I've spent forty hours with Elisa this week and haven't seen her eat
a thing. She seems to subsist solely on cigarettes and Diet Coke."
"Hot-girl diet, huh? Good for her. You've got to admire that
level of commitment." Penelope sighed again. "I'm headed home
in a few. Want to share a cab downtown?"
"Perfect. I'll pick you up at the corner of Fourteenth and Fifth
a little before nine. I'll call when I get in the cab," I said.
"Sounds good. I'll wait outside. Bye."
I headed for my closet. After some discards and retries, I settled
on a pair of tight black pants and a plain black tank top. I extracted
some decently high heels, bought during a shopping trip in
SoIIo, and took the time to blow out the exceedingly thick black
hair I inherited from my mother—the kind that everyone thinks
they want until they realize it barely fits in a ponytail and instantly
adds thirty minutes to any preparation time. I even attempted some
makeup, which got put to use so infrequently that the mascara
wand was all clumpy and a few of the lipsticks were stuck inside
their tubes.
No matter/
1 thought, singing along to Mike & the Mechanics'
"The Living Years" as I worked on my face . . . this was
even kind of fun. I had to admit, the end results were worth the
extra effort: my love handles no longer bulged over the waistline
of my pants, my boobs had retained their chubby-girl fullness even
though the rest of me had shrunk, and the mascara I'd haphazardly
brushed across my lashes had accidentally smeared to perfection,
giving my somewhat bland gray eyes a sexy, smoldering look.
Penelope was waiting outside at exactly ten to nine, and we
were deposited at our requested address right on time. There were
a ton of restaurants on West Broadway, and everyone seemed to
be clustered at outdoor tables looking exceedingly well-scrubbed
and unnervingly happy. We had a little trouble finding the place
because the restaurant management had neglected to post a sign.
Perhaps it's an issue of practicality; since the shelf life of most New
York hot spots is under six months, it actually leaves one less thing
to remove when they close. Luckily, I remembered the street number
from
Zagat
and we scoped it out from the far corner. Groups
of scantily but expensively clad women congregated around the
bar as older men kept their drinks filled, but I didn't see Elisa or
anyone else from the office.
"Bette! Over here!" Elisa called, a champagne glass in one hand
and a cigarette in the other. She was planted in the middle of
Cipriani's outdoor tables, leaning seductively against one of the
Italians' chairs, her branch-like limbs looking as though they might
snap at any moment. "Everyone else is inside. So glad you could
come!"
"Jesus Christ, she's skinny," Penelope muttered under her
breath as we walked toward the tables.
"Hi," I said and leaned in to kiss Elisa hello. 1 turned to introduce
her to Penelope but noticed that Elisa was still waiting there,
her face thrust forward and filled, eyes closed. She had expected
the traditional Euro double kiss, and I'd given up halfway through.
I'd recently read a convincing piece in
Cosmo
decrying the double
kiss as a stupid affectation and decided to make a stand: there
would be no more double kisses for me. I left her hanging but
said, "Thanks for inviting me. I absolutely love it here!"
She recovered quickly. "Ohmigod, me, too. They have the best
salads of anywhere. Hi, I'm Elisa," she said, offering a hand to
Penelope.
"I'm so sorry, that was so rude of me." I flushed, realizing I
must have sounded ridiculous to Penelope. "Penelope, this is Elisa.
She's been showing me around all week long. And, Elisa, this is
Penelope, my best friend."
"Wow, fab ring," Elisa said, grabbing Penelope's left hand instead
of her right and softly fingering the massive stone. "That
carat-glare is, like, blinding!" Penelope was, in fact, sporting her
"wearable" three-carat rock, and I wondered what Elisa would
think of her second ring.
"Thanks," Penelope said, clearly pleased. "I just got engaged
last—" But before she could finish, Davide grabbed Elisa from behind
and wrapped his arms around her tiny waist, careful not to
hug too hard and break her. He leaned in and whispered something
in her ear and she threw her head back with laughter.
"Davide, honey, behave! You know Bette. Davide, this is
Bette's friend, Penelope."
We all air-kissed on both cheeks (my no double-kiss rule hadn't
lasted twenty seconds), but Davide didn't manage to remove his eyes
from Elisa for a single second. "Our table. It is ready," he announced
gruffly in Italian-accented English, patting Elisa's bony ass and leaning