Every Time We Say Goodbye (35 page)

‘We’ve always been a team; why would that suddenly change?’

‘Oh, I don’t know, Helen, but I find it very hard to believe that he’s being unfaithful.’

‘You didn’t suspect Dominic of being unfaithful but he was.’

‘Only because he was never around anyway,’ Marianne carried two coffees to the table and sat down. ‘And I didn’t care enough to wonder. Don’t look so shocked, Helen; you can’t think I still loved him after all he put me through, and you certainly can’t compare our marriages.’

‘Not at the end, no, but in the early days you were mad about each other,’ Helen reminded her.

‘That seems like a lifetime ago,’ Marianne admitted, ‘and he was a different man. Drugs turned him into someone I didn’t recognize, someone I didn’t even like.’

‘Poor Marianne.’

‘There’s no reason to pity me; it’s all over now and I finally have some peace.’

‘I did feel that you were more serene recently but today you seem sad.’

‘I’m fine. There’s been so much to take in that I suppose I’m just exhausted.’

‘You never talk about this woman Dominic was seeing or how you feel about this baby.’

‘I’ve tried but you weren’t returning my calls,’ Marianne retorted.

‘I’m so sorry.’ Helen felt dreadful for thinking Marianne was capable of betraying her and abandoning her when she most needed a friend.

‘It’s okay,’ Marianne squeezed her hand. ‘I can understand why now but I still think you’re wrong about Johnny.’

‘Let’s forget about him. Tell me all about Barbara. I’m glad you’re not upset about her but it still must have come as quite a shock that Dominic was having an affair.’

‘Of course it did, and when I met her I couldn’t see what the woman had seen in him. Oh, that sounds awful but towards the end, Dominic was in such a dreadful mess and could be downright horrible a lot of the time. It was a relief that he was out so much and made it easier to shield the children.’

‘Johnny described her as posh totty.’

‘A good description,’ Marianne grinned. ‘She’s attractive, classy and, it seems, very clever.’

‘Do you think she loved him? Do you think he loved her?’

‘I’m not sure what I think after everything I heard today.’

Helen forgot her own worries momentarily as Marianne told her about the meeting with Dominic’s boss that afternoon. ‘No wonder you’re exhausted,’ she said when Marianne paused for breath. ‘This is all very dramatic and strange.’

‘And incredibly complicated; I’d have been lost without Johnny. I come out of these meetings and my head is spinning, but he remembers everything.’

‘I’m glad,’ Helen said grudgingly. She was grateful that Johnny was looking out for her friend but that didn’t absolve him from whatever else he was up to. ‘So what happens now?’ She stopped as the front door banged. ‘They’re back already?’

Marianne glanced at the clock. ‘Doesn’t time fly . . .’

Dot breezed in. ‘Helen, you’re still here!’

‘I made her a cup of tea and she took her tablets and felt a bit better, so she stayed for a chat,’ Marianne said smoothly.

‘Yes, I’m fine,’ Helen nodded, glad that Marianne was thinking straight at least.

‘Tea, Dot?’ Marianne asked.

‘No, thanks, I’m off out again.’

‘Out?’ Marianne raised an eyebrow.

‘Just to the pub for a quick drink. It’s Shirley’s birthday so it’s gin and slimline tonic all round,’ Dot joked.

‘Is Jo going?’

‘No, she said she’d prefer to have a cuppa with you. She’ll be here in a sec; Rachel just called to say goodnight. See ya!’

‘Does she ever stop?’ Helen asked when they were alone again.

‘Not often,’ Marianne grinned.

‘Does she know anything about what’s going on?’

Marianne shook her head. ‘Nothing.’

‘How do you think she’ll take the news that she’s going to be a grandparent again?’

‘You’re pregnant?’

Helen looked up to see Jo standing in the doorway looking shocked.

‘No!’ Marianne assured her.

Jo looked at Helen. ‘But you said—’

‘Come and sit down. I’ll open a bottle of wine. I think we could all do with a drink.’

‘Should you be drinking if—’

‘I’m not pregnant, Jo!’ Marianne said as she rooted in the cupboard for a bottle of wine.

Jo flopped into a chair. ‘I don’t understand.’

‘It’s complicated,’ Marianne said, wrestling with the cork.

‘Here, let me.’ Helen took the bottle and prized off the cork with ease and poured some into two glasses.

‘Join us,’ Marianne said.

‘I’m driving.’

‘You don’t have to; you could always leave the car here tonight and get the last train home.’ Marianne’s eyes twinkled. ‘Let Johnny wonder where you are for a change.’

‘Good thinking.’ Helen smiled and poured some wine for herself.

‘Cheers.’ Marianne raised her glass to her two friends.

‘Will one of you please tell me what’s going on?’ Jo looked from one to the other, frowning.

‘I suppose I should start at the beginning,’ Marianne said. ‘You know I told you there would be a hold up with the insurance money and Dominic’s pension, Jo?’

‘Yes, because of the inquest.’

‘I lied; it was nothing to do with the inquest.’

Helen sat in silence as Marianne told Jo the whole sorry saga. ‘Helen and Johnny are the only ones who know about this, Jo, so please don’t let this slip to Dot.’

‘Of course I won’t.’

Helen could see that Jo was hurt that she had been in on the secret. ‘I only know what’s been going on because Johnny was helping Marianne sort out Dominic’s estate.’

‘I’d have told you, Jo,’ Marianne said, ‘but you’ve had your own problems lately.’

‘It’s okay, I understand. But will you be able to keep it quiet now if this woman is going to have Dominic’s baby?’

‘Ah, well, that’s what I was just about to tell Helen; there may not be a baby.’

‘What?’ Helen exclaimed, now totally confused. ‘I don’t understand.’

‘Adrian Matthews thinks that it was all just a story to win our sympathy.’

‘It should be easy enough to tell,’ Jo said. ‘It’s two months since Dominic died so she’d be showing by now, wouldn’t she?’

Helen looked at Marianne. ‘Did she say when she was due?’

‘No, but she spent ages in the bathroom; she said she was suffering very badly with morning sickness and had been for weeks.’

‘Then she definitely should have been showing,’ Jo said.

Marianne stared at her and then at Helen. ‘She was wearing a suit with the jacket closed, but no, she didn’t look pregnant; how stupid of me. Why didn’t I realize that before?’

‘You’ve had enough to think about and why would you doubt her? What a conniving bitch; imagine lying about something like that,’ Helen marvelled. ‘She must be guilty.’

‘She must have cared for him, though,’ Marianne insisted. ‘She looked distraught when she found out that he’d lied to her about the divorce.’

‘And if he did that, then he can’t have really loved her, can he?’ Helen pointed out.

Marianne sighed. ‘I’m not sure what to think any more.’

‘Forget about her, and him for that matter,’ Helen said. ‘You and the children and Dot are more important, and at least you’re not going to get landed with Dominic’s debts and may even get your pension.’

‘Well, I don’t know that for sure yet,’ Marianne cautioned. ‘Johnny said he’d call Eddie Madden – that’s the solicitor – but,’ she said turning to Jo, ‘it certainly looks more hopeful.’

‘I can’t believe how strong you’re being.’ Jo shook her head in wonder. ‘And I thought I had problems!’

‘It’s been a bit of a nightmare,’ Marianne admitted.

Helen looked at her. ‘Are you going to tell Dot about all this?’

‘Dot doesn’t know?’ Jo said.

‘Not about the fraud or Barbara. How could I tell her, Jo? He’s caused her so much pain already, and though she puts on a brave face, she misses him terribly. And why tell her now? What’s the point?’

‘There is none,’ Helen agreed. ‘As long as Barbara doesn’t land on your doorstep one day with Dot’s grandchild and the whole fraud business doesn’t end up in the papers.’

Marianne groaned. ‘Are you trying to cheer me up?’

‘Sorry,’ Helen said, realizing that she shouldn’t be trying to bring her friend down on the one day that she’d finally had some good news.

‘It’s okay. I suppose there is always a risk of it coming out, but I think I’ll take that risk and deal with it if it happens.’

‘But it must be a terrible strain keeping all of this from her, Marianne,’ Jo said, looking worried.

Marianne smiled at her and then at Helen. ‘As long as I’ve got you two to talk to I will cope with whatever happens.’

‘You’ve got us,’ Helen assured her, ‘though I’m surprised that you want anything to do with me after today.’

‘Why, what happened today?’ Jo asked looking from one to the other.

Helen looked at Marianne who rolled her eyes and stood up. ‘I think I’d better find more wine.’

Chapter Thirty-three

‘I don’t believe it for a second.’ Jo waved her glass around precariously. ‘Johnny would never ever be unfaithful.’

Marianne ducked out of the way as it almost collided with her nose. ‘I agree with Jo.’

‘I wish I could believe that, but he’s been lying to me,’ Helen said, visibly upset now that the wine was taking effect and her guard was down.

‘I’m sure there’s a very good reason,’ Jo insisted.

‘Like?’ Helen sniffed.

‘Perhaps he’s in some kind of trouble.’

‘You’re not helping, Jo,’ Marianne groaned as Helen’s eyes widened in alarm.

‘And exactly what kind of trouble could he be in?’ She moved the wine bottle out of Jo’s reach.

‘Maybe he’s being threatened,’ Jo said. ‘I’ve heard that’s happened to some developers.’

‘Jo!’

‘Oh, my God, you’re right!’ Helen gasped. ‘Some of Johnny’s friends have left the country because of it.’

‘Oh, really; I’m making you both some coffee.’ Marianne stood up and put on the kettle.

‘Not that instant stuff, it disagrees with me,’ Helen complained.

‘Tough, I’m on the breadline.’

‘Tea. But Jo is right; it would make sense.’

‘It would.’ Jo nodded so hard Marianne thought she wouldn’t look out of place in the back window of a car.

‘This is complete rubbish. Stop hypothesizing.’ Marianne grinned. ‘I’ve always wanted an excuse to use that word; Sister Rose Catherine would be proud of me.’

‘You were always her favourite,’ Jo said of their English teacher.

‘It’s not rubbish,’ Helen insisted. ‘It makes perfect sense.’

‘You’re listening to Jo’s speculations after half a bottle of wine and saying it makes sense?’ Marianne said as she spooned coffee into mugs. ‘No offence, Jo.’

‘None taken.’ Jo drained her glass and reached for the bottle.

‘It has to be something really bad or he wouldn’t keep it from me.’

‘Oh, for pity’s sake, will you just ask the man,’ Marianne said, plonking down the coffee a bit more forcefully than she’d intended. Perhaps she should have some too.

‘Marianne’s right; ask him.’

Helen looked at them but said nothing.

‘What?’ Marianne said, alarmed to see the normally composed Helen in tears.

‘I’m afraid to. What if there is someone else?’

Jo threw her arms around her, almost strangling her in a hug. ‘Ah, don’t worry, darling. I’m sure everything’s going to be fine.’

Marianne laid a hand on Helen’s shoulder. ‘Of course it is.’

Jo sat back in her chair with a sigh. ‘I’m a terrible friend; if I wasn’t so caught up in my own problems I’d have noticed that you two weren’t happy.’

‘Drink your coffee and don’t talk rubbish,’ Marianne teased.

Helen pulled out a tissue and wiped her eyes. ‘I’m glad your problems are sorted at least.’

‘What’s wrong?’ Marianne asked when Jo didn’t reply.

‘Nothing.’

‘Oh, come on, Jo, tell us what’s wrong,’ Helen said. ‘It’s your turn.’

‘Is it the diet? You’re not making yourself sick again, are you?’ Marianne asked.

‘No, I’m not, honest.’

Marianne exchanged a look of relief with Helen. ‘Good woman.’

‘Why did you do it, Jo?’ Helen asked.

‘I told you; it was the easiest way to lose weight.’

‘I think there’s more to it than that.’

Marianne wondered why Helen was being so pushy, and then she realized that with Jo more than a little drunk, this was a good opportunity to get to the root of her problems. However, she still hadn’t responded. Marianne nudged her. ‘Have you gone to sleep?’

Jo shook her head.

‘Please talk to us, Jo,’ Marianne begged. ‘How many times in St Anne’s did we promise each other that we’d be friends for ever? Don’t you know that you can tell us anything?’

‘Anything,’ Helen agreed.

‘It was fear,’ Jo said, not looking at them.

‘Fear?’ Marianne said, almost afraid herself of what was coming. Jo seemed suddenly vulnerable, just like the child who arrived at St Anne’s all those years ago, looking wary and suspicious and silent.

‘I was afraid of losing Greg, of losing everything.’

‘But why would you ever think that might happen?’ Helen asked, looking baffled.

Jo finally looked up and met Helen’s eyes. ‘For the first time in my life I had someone who wanted me, who looked after me and who gave me a home. I was so happy, but at the same time I kept waiting for something bad to happen.’

‘Like what?’ Marianne asked.

‘I’ve no idea but I just couldn’t believe that it would last. And then I started to put on weight and I just knew Greg was disgusted with me.’

‘I’m sure he wasn’t,’ Helen said.

‘He was; I could see it in his eyes when he looked at me. And the more I saw that, the more depressed I got and the more depressed I got, the more I ate.’

‘But now you’ve taken control,’ Marianne pointed out, her heart aching for her friend. ‘The Unislim classes are helping, aren’t they?’

‘Oh, yes, and the instructor, Shirley, has been so kind.’

‘So what’s the problem, Jo? Helen asked.

‘There is none, not really. It’s just that the fear doesn’t go away, it never goes away.’

Marianne thought for a moment before speaking. ‘You know what, Jo? In all the time we’ve known each other, you’ve never really talked about your childhood; I don’t mean your time in St Anne’s, but before that.’