Every Love Story Is a Ghost Story: A Life of David Foster Wallace (55 page)
Chapter 5: “Please Don’t Give Up on Me”
135 “Armageddon,” from the McCaffery interview.
136 “hard-core recidivist” and “I am getting booted,” from a letter to Bonnie Nadell, November 28, 1989.
138 “every bad ’60s novel,” from Lipsky,
Although of Course
, at 233.138 “Give me a little time,” from a letter to Steven Moore, January 3, 1990.
138 “I’m not going anywhere,” from a letter to Brad Morrow, December 18, 1989.
138 “I am” and “Most of the guys,” from a letter to Dale Peterson, December 21, 1989.
139 “a motorhead from the South Shore,” from a letter to David Markson, July 29, 1990.
139 “It’s a rough crowd,” “I try hard to listen,” and “I’m scared,” from a letter to Rich C., December 21, 1989.
140 “They gave me Librium,” from a letter to Rich C., August 24, 2000.
141 “nobody is as gregarious,” from Lipsky,
Although of Course
, at 138.141 “going from Harvard to here,” from a letter to Dale Peterson, December 21, 1989.
142 “I think part of why WM” and “one a vapid gushy,” from a letter to Steven Moore, January 3, 1990.
143 “The bald fact,” from a letter to Jonathan Franzen, May 1, 1990.
144 “some laffs and companionship,” from a letter by Jonathan Franzen, May 5, 1990.
144 “a kind of a ripping” and “the humble, unpaid work,” from a letter to Jonathan Franzen, May 21, 1990.
145 “[f]iction for me is a conversation,” from a letter to Jonathan Franzen, August 13-14, 1989.
145 “I’d love to hear more,” from a letter to Jonathan Franzen, May 21, 1990.
146 “so blank and depressed,” from a letter to David Markson, June 7, 1990.
146 “I cannot sit still,” from a letter to David Markson, July 29, 1990.
148 “a hip kids’ college,” from a letter to David Markson, October 18, 1990.
148 “Teaching is going OK,” from a letter to Jonathan Franzen, September 9, 1990.
148 “We spend most of our time,” from a letter to David Markson, October 18, 1990.
149 “rather like asking the Consul,” from a letter to David Markson, July 29, 1990.
149 “would be ‘sumptuous,’” from a letter to David Markson, October 18, 1990.
149 “They’re all ‘television’ majors,” from a letter to David Markson, January 6, 1991.
149 “I want to start trying,” from a letter to Steven Moore, November 20, 1990.
151 “I’ve gone from thinking,” from a letter to Steven Moore, October 26, 1990.
151 “I am the best copyeditor,” from a letter to Steven Moore, November 20, 1990.
151 “couldn’t even take,” from a letter to Steven Moore, December 14, 1990.
151 “every shred of will,” from a letter to David Markson, April 21, 1991.
152 “flat and strained,” from a letter to Jonathan Franzen, November 5, 1990.
152 “The people I’ve known there,” from a note to Jonathan Franzen, April 21, 1991.
152 “I think that eventually,” from a letter by Jonathan Franzen, July 22, 1991.
152 “I finally told Mary,” from a letter to Jonathan Franzen, June 7, 1991.
152 “Nothing is new,” from a letter to Fred Brooke, June 27, 1991.
153 “The apartment is strange,” from a letter to Jonathan Franzen, October 4, 1991.
153 “back to back in the afternoon,” from a letter to Jonathan Franzen, October 4, 1991.
154 “Please don’t give up on me,” from a letter to Bonnie Nadell, Spring 1991.
155 “slowly trying some fictional stuff,” from a letter to Forrest Ashby, August 8, 1991.
155 “writing quite a bit and enjoying it,” from a letter to Dale Peterson, August 23, 1991.
157 “mostly just to see what you think,” from a letter to Jonathan Franzen, September 19, 1990.
158 “decided that maybe being really sad,” from Lipsky,
Although of Course
, at 237.158 “The key to ’92 is that MMK was most important,” from the marginalia in Wallace’s copy of Ernest Kurtz,
The Spirituality of Imperfection
.158 “The writing is going,” from a letter to Mary Karr, undated, circa spring 1992.
162 “the bravest thing,” from Lipsky,
Although of Course
, at 241.162 “Life is good,” from a letter to Brad Morrow, February 29, 1992.
162 “a novel,” from a letter to Bonnie Nadell and Gerry Howard, April 5, 1992.
163 “one of the scariest days,” from a letter to Deb Larson, December 6, 1993.
163 “this soot-fest city,” from a letter to Brad Morrow, February 29, 1992.
164 “best of pals and lit combatants,” from a letter to Jonathan Franzen, June 8, 1992.
164 “among the most nourishing for me,” from a letter to Jonathan Franzen, April 10, 1992.
164 “Syracuse,” from a letter to Debra Spark, May 27, 1992.
165 “make me feel both unalone and unstressed,” from a letter to Jonathan Franzen, June 8, 1992.
166 “If words are all we have,” from a letter to Jonathan Franzen, July 15, 1992.
166 “I simply have to
pound
,” and “it’s awfully pretty here,” from a letter to Jonathan Franzen, June 8, 1992.167 “The Era of Skulking seems,” from a letter to Debra Spark, August 19, 1992.
167 “movies where shit blew up,” quoted in Evan Hughes, “Just Kids,”
New York
, October 9, 2011.167 “I want you to know that I AM here,” from a letter to Mary Karr, undated, circa 1992.
169 “so much hidden pain and lying,” from a letter to Mary Karr, circa January 22, 1992.
169 “it heals too,” from a letter to Mary Karr, undated, circa spring 1992.
170 “terrible temper-outbursts,” from a letter to Jonathan Franzen, September 12, 1992.
170 “MARRY ME,” from a letter to Mary Karr, undated, circa fall 1992/winter 1993.
171 “gut instinct (I have so few gut instincts…),” from a letter to Michael Pietsch, June 22, 1992.
172 “a…go-for-the-gold-type,” from a letter to Gerry Howard, June 30, 1992.
172 “Brains and wit and technical tightrope-calisthenics,” from a letter to Michael Pietsch, June 22, 1992.
173 “My notion about Mark Leyner,” from a letter by Michael Pietsch, July 8, 1992.
173 “I am both bogged down,” from a letter to Jonathan Franzen, September 12, 1992.
173 “My whole nervous system,” from a letter to Alice Turner, December 11, 1995.
174 “I alert you in advance,” from a letter to Charlie Harris, December 26, 1992.
175 “Full-time writing is going OK,” from a letter to Debra Spark, undated, circa winter 1992/spring 1993.
176 “upping it to three or four,” from a letter to Charlie Harris, April 5, 1993.
176 “a certain icky sense about availing myself,” from a letter to Don DeLillo, March 14, 1993.
176 “the least weird writer there,” from a letter to Corey Washington, March 2, 1993.
176 “The chairman is a dreamboat,” from a letter to Dale Peterson, February 28, 1993.
Chapter 6: “Unalone and Unstressed”
177 “different masculine-model cars,” from a letter to Corey Washington, March 2, 1993.
178 “sardonic worldview perfect for the irony-filled nineties,” from a letter to Steven Moore, April 10, 1993.
178 “polite and banal”, from a letter to Corey Washington, April 16, 1993.
178 “Take this time to learn to be,” from a letter to Brandon Hobson, March 31, 1993.
178 “Even a marginal,” from a letter to Corey Washington, April 16, 1993.
180 to the “john,” from a letter to a friend, March 13, 1998.
180 “I’m having to countenance,” from a letter to Jonathan Franzen, September 12, 1992.
180 “Unpacking, trying to write,” from a letter to Brad Morrow, August 17, 1993.
181 “off sex,” from a letter to Linda Perla, October 15, 1993.
182 “You ask what I think it’s about,” and “Almost everything,” from a letter by Michael Pietsch, June 10, 1993.
186 “here’s-what-I-think,” from “Finite Jest,”
Slate
, September 17, 2008.189 “It’s just much easier having dogs,” from Lipsky,
Although of Course
, at 97.191 “HOPE THIS IS READABLE,” from a letter to Sven Birkerts, November 14, 1993.
191 “80% different from Little Brown’s,” from a letter to Steven Moore, January 25, 1994.
191 “The trick in a case like this,” from a letter by Michael Pietsch, November 18, 1993.
191 “no longer manufactured outside like Eastern Europe” and “A lot of this,” from a letter to Michael Pietsch, January 16, 1994.
194 “I’m mortified to have essentially,” from a letter to Michael Pietsch, April 2, 1994.
195 “extremely analgesic,” from a letter to Michael Pietsch, April 29, 1994.
196 “handcuffed to a wrist,” from a letter to Michael Pietsch, May 27, 1994.
196 “I am sad and empty” and “stuff in the mss,” from a letter to Jonathan Franzen, July 23, 1994.
198 “ominous hernia-jokes,” from a postcard to Jonathan Franzen, circa July 1994.
198 “having this monster in my head,” from a letter by Michael Pietsch, October 21, 1994.
199 “Hal’s breakdown, the one,” from a letter by Michael Pietsch, November 30, 1994.
199 “I guess maybe” and “frontispiece,” from a letter to Michael Pietsch, February 19, 1995.
199 “we know exactly,” from a response to a letter by Michael Pietsch, circa May 1995.
200 “it’s not,” from a letter by Michael Pietsch, May 12, 1995.
200 “I bought a house,” from a letter to Don DeLillo, May 1995.
202 “Prospects for an acute and fecund,” from a postcard to Jonathan Franzen, circa March 1995.
203 “I go through a loop,” from a letter to Elizabeth Wurtzel, circa April 1995.
205 “I am uncomfortable,” from a letter to Don DeLillo, circa May 1995.
205 “you feel incipient bladder,” from a letter to Michael Pietsch, circa May 1995.
205 “a state of editorial ecstasy,” from a letter by Michael Pietsch, May 12, 1995.
205 “Here’s what happened,” and “I’m prepared to thumbwrestle,” from a letter by Michael Pietsch, May 22, 1995.
206 “Potential insertion into page 1229,” from a fax to Michael Pietsch, June 11, 1995.
208 “a cover that’s (troublingly, to me),” from a letter to Don DeLillo, September 10, 1995.
208 that all the magazine editors in New York, from the Schmeidel interview.
208 “a little stupider and shmuckier,” from Lipsky,
Although of Course,
at 41.209 “your/our copyeditor,” from a letter to Michael Pietsch, February 19, 1995.
210 “To copyeditor: Hi,” from a letter to Mike Mattil, undated, circa fall 1995.
210 “in the 8th circle of page-proof-proofreading hell,” from a letter to Debra Spark, October 1995.
210 “The more I proof these page proofs,” from a letter to Michael Pietsch, October 1995.
210 “about 47,000 typos,” from a letter to Alice Turner, December 11, 1995.
210 “about 712,000,” from R. Z. Sheppard, “712,000 Typos!”
Time,
February 19, 1996.211 “wobbling like a vestibulitiser’s,” from a letter to Mike Mattil, October 8, 1995.
211 “wholly ominous given our family’s,” from a letter to Alice Turner, December 11, 1995.
211 “
fucking, fucking
nightmare,” from Lipsky,
Although of Course
, at 248.211 “‘Masterpiece’? I’m 33 years old,” from a letter to Michael Pietsch, September 20, 1995.
212 “About the holes and lacunae,” from a letter to David Markson, November 28, 1995.
216 “brilliant but somewhat bloated,” from
Publishers Weekly,
January 29, 1996.216 “almost certainly the biggest and boldest,” from
Kirkus Reviews,
December 1, 1996.216 “mov[ed] toward us like an ocean disturbance,” from Sven Birkerts, “The Alchemist’s Retort,”
The Atlantic,
February 1996.216 “not for the faint-hearted,” from
Library Journal,
January 1996.216 “Challenging and provocative,” from John Harper, “A Wordy, Wacky World View,”
Orlando Sentinel
, March 17, 1996.216 “brashly funny and genuinely moving,” from Bruce Allen, “Future Imperfect,”
Chicago Tribune
, March 24, 1996.216 “the funniest writer of his generation,” from Jonathan Dee, “Infinite Fest,”
The Village Voice,
March 1996.216 “Next year’s book awards,” from Walter Kirn, “Long Hot Novel,”
New York,
February 12, 1996.216 “that sneery thing in
Esquire,”
from a letter to David Markson, November 28, 1995.216 “Hype of the Huge,” from Will Blythe,
Esquire
, December 1995.216 “I’m very happy with the launch,” from a letter by Michael Pietsch to Bonnie Nadell, January 23, 1996.
217 “The overall effect,” from Jay McInerney, “Infinite Jest,”
New York Times Book Review,
March 3, 1996.217 “The book seems to have been written,” from Michiko Kakutani, “A Country Dying of Laughter. In 1,079 Pages,”
New York Times
, February 3, 1996.218 “To say that,” from Birkerts, “The Alchemist’s Retort.”
218 “This is sort of what it’s like to be alive,” quoted in Mark Caro, “The Next Big Thing,”
Chicago Tribune
, February 23, 1996.219 “Sauron’s great red eye,” from a postcard to Don DeLillo, August 21, 2001.
219 “a whole wall of letters that help me or are important,” from a letter to Don DeLillo, March 16, [1996].
219 “I went with friends,” from David Gates, “Levity’s Rainbow,”
Newsweek
, February 12, 1996.220 “They pretend they’re kissing you,” from Frank Bruni, “The Grunge American Novel,”
New York Times
Magazine,
March 24, 1996.220 “or the Illinois version,” from Valerie Stivers, “The Jester Holds Court,”
stim.com
, May 1996.221 “there’s a way that it seems to me,” from an appearance on
The Charlie Rose Show
, March 27, 1997.221 “When I was younger,” from the Scocca interview.
222 “not a hip downtown kind of book,” from a letter by Bonnie Nadell to Beth Davey, November 3, 1995.
222 “I think I made it a project
not
to look,” from Lipsky,
Although of Course
, at 178.223 “packed and scary,” from a letter to Don DeLillo, circa March 16, 1996.
224 “you guys made your bones,” from a letter to Don DeLillo, circa March 16, 1996.
224 “brain fart,” from Lipsky,
Although of Course,
at 98.224 “a
serious
asshole,” reading “‘I’ve Cheated,’” from Lipsky,
Although of Course,
at 99.225 “It reminds me of the exhilaration,” from a letter by Michael Pietsch, April 18, 1996.
225 I…tried my best to tell the truth,” from a letter to Don DeLillo, circa March 16, 1996.
226 “WAY MORE FUSS,” from a letter to JT Jackson, circa April 1996.
