Every Girl Does It (20 page)

****

I wake up the following morning with yet another
headache
.
S
eems to be some sort of trend when I hang around Preston. I open my bedroom door to see fresh eggs, bacon
,
and sausage on a plate. I look up to meet Preston
'
s face and notice he has something in his hand
s
.

“What
'
s that?” I ask annoyed.

“A stuffed pig
,
”
he
answers
nonchalantly
,
as if
it’s
totally normal for grown men to carry around stuffed farm creatures.

“Cute
,
” I say
,
grabbing the plate and wandering outside to the patio.

It’s a
humid day. I
t
makes my head hurt even more.
I take a bite of the eggs and feel Preston
'
s presence behind me. I turn to look at him
,
not even caring how ugly I must look with my eyes all puffy and swollen
,
and notice the pig he
’
s carrying has paper wings glued onto it.

“Clever
,
” I say pointing to the pig.

“I thought so
,
”
h
e says handing me two aspirin and a coffee. I hate him for knowing me so well
.
It makes everything that much harder. Why are all the perfect men total jerks
?
I want to yell at the injustice of it all. I look down and see Mrs. Butterworth is dressed up
,
too. Only she
’
s in what I can only describe as a cat bikini.

“What have you done to Mrs. Butterworth?” I gasp
,
picking her up
from
the ground. It
’
s a teeny weenie yellow polka dot bikini
,
and she looks anything but pleased.

Preston shrugs
.
“I thought it would make you laugh
.
”

I have to admit, it’s actually priceless
.
N
ot that I
’
m ready to be on speaking terms with him
,
even though I guess
,
technically
,
I’m speaking
. But
I am asking questions
,
so it’s totally different.

“So
,
we
’
re leaving tomorrow?” I ask coldly
.

“Nope
.
I changed our plane tickets
.
W
e
’
re here through the weekend.”

I could kill him right now. I seriously want to throw my cat at him
.
F
orget everything I’ve said.

“
What
?” I feel panic rise up in my chest
.
“But Kristin and Brad and the kids…”
My
voice trails off.

“I talked with them this morning, “he says
.
“Everything’s fine
.
P
lus
,
we might as well enjoy our vacation together
,
wife
.”

I look at him with disgust in my eyes. “I
’
m not your wife.”

“Actually,” he says
,
pulling out a piece of paper I
’
ve never seen before. “It says h
ere
you will be in about three days.”

I look at the piece of pape
r and shrug
.
“You have no witnesses
,
and I’ll say no even if it
’
s a special license
.
A
nd I still want to poke your eyes out with my fork. Are we done here?” I get up
,
but he catches my wrist.

“Do you ever stop talking enough to let people explain things to you?
Or do you just assume you know everything?” He says rather hotly.

“I don’t assume. I
know
. Plus
,
words don’t lie
,
” I say
,
jerking my hand away.

I hear Preston laugh from outside
.
“
N
o they don’t
,
Amanda
.
N
o they don’t.”

I throw my dishes in the sink and scowl when I notice I chipped one. Well
,
at least I can blame my rage on Preston. Of all the egotistical things
…
I want to jam my sausage up his nose
. But
at this point I
’
d have to get too close to him to pull it
off
,
and I’m not quite sure I can control myself just yet in his presence.

I lean around the corner to see what he
’
s doing. He
’
s on his phone. Again. It
'
s like he
’
s
rubbing it in
front of my face. And now he’s laughing? I see his smile deepen as he chuckles then looks at his watch. Okay
,
wait
.
N
ow he
’
s w
riting something down. I lean a
little
bit further over
,
then accidently knock one of the Hawaiian pots off the table
,
shattering it on the floor.

I look up guiltily to see Preston staring at me with knowing eyes as if to say
,
“
I know you
'
r
e
spying on me and I think
it’s
hilarious
”
.

I can’t be blamed for what I do next. I grab my shoe off the floor and fling it at his face. He ducks just in
time
for my shoe to hit an old man walking toward the pool.

“Domestic dispute,” he huffs as he walks by not even picking up my shoe.

“Is that all
,
Amanda
,
or do you want to throw the other shoe too
?
It’s okay
.
T
his time I won’t move
.
Y
ou can hit me straight in the face. Although, later tonight you’re going to be begging me to kiss you
,
so it’s your move.”

You can guess what I did next.

The rubber part of the sole hit him straight in the eye
,
causing a purplish bruise to appear by lunch time
. And
okay
,
I know he said he wouldn’t move
,
but how was I to know he was actually being serious? I mean
,
come on
!
Who doesn’t move
when flying objects
come at
your head?

His constant
rubbing of his eye
doesn’t
make me feel any better either, but I’m pretty sure he
’
s just doing i
t
to make me feel bad, which I
won’t
. Because he
’
s a cheating
dirt bag
a
nd Grandma Ned is rolling in her grave as I
contemplate worse words I could call him
. I
’
m sure she
’
s begging God to
be able to
come back down
,
just so she can be the one to put soap in my mouth.
I feel guilty enough
for
thinking it.
Okay
,
Grandma Ned.
For the love of all that
’
s holy
,
I
’
m yelling in my head at my dead grandma.
I have issues.

“Amanda?” Preston asks as I glare at him through my sunglasses.
I know
,
how brave of me.

“Yes?”

“Can you hand me that ice pack again
?
M
y head is throbbing.” He points to the ice pack
, and
I throw it at him
aiming for the head
. He winc
es as he catches it and ducks a
t
t
he same time. Poor guy
'
s never going to be the same after meeting me. At least he
’
ll have
the
bruises on the outside and
the
scars on the inside to remember me by.

“Shouldn’t you be on the phone with Ashlyn?” I ask
,
peeved.

“That would be weird
,
”
h
e answers
vaguely
.

“What
,
because she doesn’t know you’re in Hawaii?” I look at him
,
and he just gives me this blank stare. “You cheater! She doesn’t even know where you are? How could you leave her in Bobby’s womanizing
clutches?
If he stole her from you in the first place and is threatening to do it again right now
,
you better be wooing her
. Although
,
if we’re being honest with each other
—and
I think we can be
,
considering I want to kill you right now
—you
aren’t so good at the wooing
,
” I say seriously. Wow
.
I
t’s so easy not to worry about his hotness when I
’
m only thinking of doing violent things to him. It’s not like I
’
m ever going to see him again after these next two days.

“And honestly,” I begin again
,
taking off my sunglasses
.
“If I were her, I
’
d be so mad at you
,
it would be hard for me to take you back. Plus
,
who makes bets anymore? That’s so high school melodramatic teen soap opera…
-
ish.” I end m
y lament with a shoulder shrug.

“Your talking is giving me a headache
,
”
h
e replies
,
putting his ice pack o
ver
his swollen eye.

“Maybe you should duck next time, or maybe you should be honest, or mayb
e not cheat
. Need
I go on?” I drone
sarcastically
,
turning away from him.

Preston
begins
to laugh
,
and I shoot him a
stop-
laughing
-
or
-
I
’
ll
-kill-
you gla
r
e,
and then
retreats back into his chair. At least we
’
re getting good tans today.

“
You
know what?” I say again
.
O
kay
,
I know I should stop talking
,
but
let’s
be
honest;
I’m kind
of
on a roll. “I’m not even attracted to you anymore
. And
you know why?”

“O
h,
I’m sure you’ll tell me
,
”
h
e says sarcastically.

I give him an icy glare.

“Sorry
.
Y
es
,
Amanda
.
P
lease
.
I want to know
. I'
m d
y
ing to know
,
”
h
e
beg
s with more enthusiasm this time.