Every Day is Like Doomsday (20 page)

“But thanks to you I now have to do something
about it or be penalized by the government for not keeping my students under control.” And then he said darkly,
“So yes, thank you, Zombie, for making life a little more
miserable for all of us.”
“But…” protested Elliot, all bravado failing him in
the face of the Dean’s and Innya’s anger.
The Dean cut him off. “Just go to your dorms,” he
said, and then added softly, “And from now on when you
find one of the many other breaks in the fence you are not
to mention it to Mr. Magnificent or any other Norm that
you encounter. There’s a lot of paperwork involved and
quite frankly, I abhor paperwork.”
Elliot sighed. He had been cock-blocked by his
own stupidity and eagerness to please. Dammit.
The Dean suddenly grinned at Elliot as if he had
been struck by a brilliant idea. “By the way, Zombie, you
will retire to your own room. As punishment you won’t be
losing that troublesome virginity of yours tonight.”
“G.O.D., you are evil,” muttered Elliot. He kept his
eyes trained on the ground as he walked but he could feel
Innya staring at him, boring holes through his back with
her eyes.
“Thought you were going to get some, huh?” she
asked once they were far enough away that the Dean
couldn’t hear their whispers.
“Shut up,” said Elliot.
“Too bad. You could’ve tried your luck.”
Elliot paused and glanced at Innya. Her smile
promised more than he had ever dared to imagine. He
desperately wanted to touch her, to forget about the
disaster his life had become, to ignore the Dean’s orders
and take her in his arms and by doing so take control
of his life. Then the Dean’s voice spoke in his head.
You
really think you can take me on, little man?
Elliot growled, clenched his fists and muttered,
“Goodnight.” To prevent himself from doing or thinking any other stupid things he veered away from her and
continued to his dorm alone.
“Oh, and by the way,” he heard Innya saying as he
walked away, “Do you really think I’m so stupid? You
were quoting Yoda.”
Elliot didn’t turn around. He just kept walking. To
his dorm. Where he planned to lie down on his bed in the
dark and put a pillow over his face to hide his humiliation.

It had been a couple of weeks since their last escapade off campus and school life was starting to wear thin.
Innya felt constantly on edge and she blamed Elliot for
everything. Elliot had been nothing but apologetic since
their night with Mr. Magnificent and his unfortunate
slip up. He never even complained when she made him
spend all of his free time listening to her bitch while
they searched the walls and the fences of the school for
another opening but they both knew that she wasn’t
about to show him any kindness until he found another
exit for her.

And then there was the fact that Christmas was next
week. Innya hadn’t grown up celebrating a real Christmas
with her family so she didn’t really care. Like most Villains,
she had no superfluous attachments to cultural traditions or
mores. Elliot, on the other hand, was intensely aware that
time was speeding towards yuletide and when he found
out that the VA didn’t do anything to celebrate Christmas
he had almost lost it. Then he spent an entire day regaling
Innya with the stories of Christmas past until she told
him that she was going to go forward with that request to
murder him just so he’d shut the hell up.

When he started in on it again the following morning she’d simply smacked him on the back of the head
and said, “Villains don’t lament. Suck it up and be a bad
guy.” And he did, but he was crying on the inside. He was
homesick, and though she didn’t understand it she did
feel a little sorry for him because she sensed, even though
she didn’t know for sure, that the home he longed for had
never truly existed. From the way his father had tossed
him aside she suspected that he was a giant douche but
she didn’t think he was ready to hear it yet so she kept her
mouth shut, even though it pained her to do so.

To make matters worse Elliot’s death had still not
shown up on any newscast or in any newspaper, which
was just infuriating. It had been forever since the robbery
and her anonymous tip regarding Elliot’s death and still
not one agency was bothering to report on it. She and
Elliot had watched the news both together and separately,
Innya waiting to hear what Senator Vane would say out
of professional curiosity and Elliot watching eagerly for
his father to appear on TV, sobbing uncontrollably. She
was disappointed that nothing continued to come of it
and she could tell that it was wearing on Elliot, as well.

“It will show up,” Innya said nearly every day,
“I’m sure of it.” She was irked, too, but not for the same
reasons. It bothered her that her handiwork was being
ignored. It had been a beautiful plan and no one knew
about it except for Elliot, the Dean and her. It
had
to
show up eventually because in this tiny town it was far
too interesting to be ignored.

With no nocturnal wanderings to break up the time
school had become exceedingly boring. Elliot wanted to
participate in classes but he couldn’t and Innya was above
participating. But then they walked into Weapons class
one day and life got a little brighter.

The Twins stood at the front of the classroom,
holding hands and grinning. Professor Three and one of
the many nameless techie kids stood beside them. The
Twins waved shyly at Elliot as they entered and Elliot
waved back until Innya smacked down his hand. He
looked upset but she just rolled her eyes and hoped that
alone conveyed what she wanted to say, that a goofy wave
did not fit his Zombie persona. She never had to remind
herself that Elliot wasn’t really a Villain because he kept
doing stupid shit like that.

Innya and Elliot sat down in their normal spots on
the counter in the back corner of the room, which offered
them best view of all of the workstations. As the last few
students shuffled in and stomped their feet to knock off
the snow and ice Three announced, “The demonstration
is going to start. So shut up and sit down.”

“Demonstration of what?” asked the boy who could
turn things to ice with his stare. Innya had heard that the
first time his power had manifested was during an argument with his roommate, whom he froze. The roommate
had been in ICU for a week and lost most of his fingers
and toes to frostbite but the fifteen year old boy was never
punished because it was considered an accident. Innya
thought of her own ‘accident’ with her roommate and
grinned. She had never been punished, either.

When Three answered she sounded bored. “The
Twins partnered with Cubit here and, supposedly, made a
flying ray.” She looked at the techie kid. “Do you need to
explain anything about the way the ray works?”

The techie, apparently named Cubit, shook his
scruffy head. The way his wavy auburn hair shook made
him look like a cocker spaniel and Innya chuckled. “I
would not,” he said and Innya didn’t blame him. Villains
are thieves and as soon as the teacher had offered to let
him explain his process all of the other techies in the
room leaned forward in their seats in anticipation. When
he declined to talk they slumped backward almost as one.

They nodded in unison and then one of them picked
up a sleek, black gun. It was about the size of a rocket
launcher but appeared to weigh next to nothing because
the wisp of Twin One was able to lift it and balance the
weapon on his or her shoulder with almost no effort.

Twin one aimed the weapon at Twin Two, they
exchanged smiles, and Twin One pressed a green button
on the side. Nothing happened. Everyone watching the
demonstration started to grumble that this was a hoax
and a waste of everyone’s time. The other techies grinned
in triumph, feeding off of their colleague’s defeat.

But the Techie who invented the gun didn’t stop
grinning. Neither did the Twins. And a moment later
Twin Two let out a whoop and jumped into the air. And
didn’t come down. All conversation stopped. Twin Two
was flying. Innya had to admit that she was impressed.

“But how long does it last?” she called out as Twin
Two started doing the backstroke across the room and
over the heads of the audience. Twin Two was singing
softly, “Think of some terrible things, it’s the same as having wings.”

“To float over walls or up to windows. To get in
where you’re not supposed to be.”
“So then it’s more of a floating ray? I mean, how do
you propel yourself ?”
“Arms and legs moving?”
“Okay, so you wave your arms like a crazy person
and then you move as slow as a flying turtle?”Innya asked.
She was about to belittle them some more when she had
an idea. It was a genius idea that hinged on her ability
to wrest the gun from Twin One and shoot Elliot. She
couldn’t count on having access to the gun all the time
but if he could float over walls then maybe Elliot would
be able to see the breaks in the fence from a higher vantage point.
Without saying a word Innya stood up and did
back-walkovers and cartwheels through the crowd of
students until she reached the front of the room. Once
there she grabbed the ray gun out of Twin One’s hands,
whipped it around and aimed it at Elliot.
“Wait!” cried out several people at once, Elliot
included, but Innya pulled the trigger anyway. No one
saw anything happen, no ray shot out of the gun, there
were no strange smells or sounds but Elliot promptly fell
backwards out of the open window.
Innya handed the gun back to a speechless Twin
one, blew a kiss to the techie who had invented the gun
and calmly walked out of the classroom. No one bothered
to try to stop her, not even Three, which was a surprise and
a bit of a disappointment. Maybe people were just used to
things going wrong in weapons class by now. People were
constantly misfiring weapons and hitting each other and
causing all sorts of maladies and injuries. It came with
the territory.
Innya shielded her eyes from the glare of the sun
off of the fresh snow as she looked up to find Elliot. And
there he was, holding onto the top of the wall around the
school, carefully avoiding the circles of barbed wire as he
floated 15 feet over the ground. He noticed her standing
below him after several moments passed.
“Innya! Why did you do that?” he asked in a highpitched voice that belied his abject terror.
“Because you’ll have a great vantage point to see the
breaks in the fence,” she answered flatly, irritated that he
hadn’t already figured it out.
“But how am I supposed to control this? They
hadn’t gotten to that part yet.”
“Kick off of the wall and aim for other buildings
and use them to propel you around. Do I have to think of
everything? Grow a pair. Enjoy it. Man has never flown
like you are about to.”
Elliot hung his head as if he were mulling over her
suggestions. But a moment later he pushed off of the wall
and made it to the peaked roof of the weapons building. He bounced off of that and went shooting away from
Innya. She considered following him but then realized
as she heard him whoop with joy that he didn’t need her
help. May as well just let him have his moment, she told
herself, he’ll come back to me eventually.
As she went off to lunch she could still hear the
sounds of Elliot’s laughter echoing across the campus
through the frigid air. It was going to be an interesting
week.

Elliot looked down from his perch on the edge of
the meditation gym to see Dean Woon looking up at him,
shielding his eyes from the setting sun with one beigegloved hand. On the ground beside him was a folded
metal ladder. The flying ray had worn off hours ago quite
suddenly and Elliot had barely hung onto the edge of
the gym to keep from falling to his death. Well, he had
reasoned as he looked down, if not death, then at least a
severe maiming.

“Hi there,” called out Elliot with a smile, “Any idea
how I can get down?”
The Dean picked up the ladder, expanded it, and
placed it up against the side of the building. It didn’t reach
the roof but it was the best shot he had at getting down.
He was really hungry and if nature hadn’t gotten the best
of him a couple of hours ago he would really have had
to pee, too. Elliot crawled over to the edge then turned
around, held onto the lip of the roof with two trembling
hands and scooted foot-first over the edge. He wasn’t
used to such exertion and his arms shook as his feet felt
blindly for the top rung of the ladder.
“A little to the left,” called the Dean and Elliot
complied. His ankle struck the side of the ladder softly
and the very tip of his toe brushed the top rung. “There it
is!” shouted the Dean, “Just a little farther.”
Elliot took a deep breath and let his fingers slip just
a little, his chest raking down the rough stucco wall until
his toes found purchase on the top rung of the ladder.
He let go of the edge of the roof completely and pressed
himself up against the wall for support. Then he started
climbing down and didn’t let go of the breath he had been
holding until his feet touched the ground. He’d had his
fill of heights for the day, the month, even the year.
As Elliot looked up at the roof of the Gym where
he had spent most of his day the Dean came up behind
him and placed one gloved hand on Elliot’s shoulder.
“Your girlfriend is responsible for this,” he said.
Elliot almost asked him how he knew before he
remembered what the Dean was. Instead he pulled away
from the awkwardly familiar touch and said, “She’s not
my girlfriend. She shot me with a flying ray.”
The Dean smiled, “I know. I just wanted to hear
what you’d say if I suggested that she was your girlfriend.”
“That’s evil.”
“I am what I am. Tell me, has she forgiven you for
telling Mr. Magnificent about the hole in the fence?”
“Why don’t you just read my mind?” Elliot asked,
irritated.
“Can’t be bothered at the moment. And might I say
that you’re rather on edge today.”
Elliot blushed and looked away. He started to apologize but the Dean interrupted him.
“Don’t apologize. Ever.”
“You said you couldn’t be bothered to read my mind
right now,” whined Elliot. He was tired and hungry and
not feeling up to raising his mental shields and singing
childhood ditties.
“I lied.” The Dean started to walk away from the
gym and Elliot assumed that their conversation was over.
But then the Dean said, “Walk with me.” Elliot caught
up with the Dean and together they started back towards
the center of the campus. He continued, “I was going to
say that you’re sounding, and looking, more and more like
a Villain every day. Which is a good thing since next year
you’ll be on your own. Maybe you can even find a girl
you’re not afraid of.”
Elliot whipped his head around towards the Dean
in shock. He couldn’t help keep the fear from his eyes as
he thought about what would happen to him once his
only friend was gone. “What do you mean? Innya and I
are the same age and got here around the same time. In
my Norm school I’d be graduating this year so why would
she be graduating already but I have to stay?”
“The VA is different than, and superior to, your
Norm school, I’m afraid. Everyone here is on a different course. While it’s true that Innya came to us late she
arrived with her powers already in full bloom, so to speak,
so we have little that we can teach her. She needs to graduate and move on because when a full-fledged Villain is
held back bad things tend to happen. We learned that the
hard way.”
“But…” he started to protest, then finished in his
head when a student passed nearby, I’m not a Villain. It
was pointless for him to argue. He had been put on this
track for better or for worse and now he had to just follow
it through, adapt or die.
“It doesn’t matter. You came to us with no powers. You have discovered your powers, so to speak, only
recently. That means that you have to go through the
entire program before you will be allowed to graduate.
Luckily, after a couple of years you’ll be among the eldest
Villains here so fewer people should pick on you.”
“Should?”
“No guarantees. We see everyone and everything
as a threat. And given your particular power, fabricated
though it is, someone will always want to challenge you
just to see what will happen. So pay attention in class and
you might just learn something.”
“And then what?”asked Elliot, afraid that he already
knew the answer to the question. His future, it seemed,
had already been mapped out for him and it didn’t matter what he wanted or what he thought. Until the day he
died he was going to be a Villain. And if some people had
their way that day would come much sooner rather than
later. He sighed and resigned himself to a life of always
looking over his shoulder, a life of crimes that he didn’t
want to commit and would probably apologize for even
as it was happening.
“That’s an interesting take,”said the Dean suddenly,
“You could be ‘The Polite Villain’. You’ll resort to Villainy
to live because that’s all you will have left if you make it
out of here alive, but you’ll be sorry about it. Not bad.
Actually, it’s rather dastardly. Your father came to see me
today.”
It took a moment for Elliot’s brain to catch up
with the Dean’s abrupt subject change but once it did
he whipped his head around. “What? What did he say?
Why was he here?”
“Calm down, Elliot.”
“Okay.”Elliot bit his lip to keep from spewing further
questions. Did he ask how I died? Did he care what happened to my body? Did he break down? Show emotion?
“He was here on budget business. Though I did ask
him if he wanted any information about your passing.”
“And?”
“He said that as of the night of the football game
you weren’t his son anymore.”
Elliot was too stunned to speak. But what more
could he say? He never claimed to be close to his dad
but after his mom died they had only had each other. Yet
his father had disowned him without a second thought.
His mind revolted against the idea and he imagined that
there had to be some mistake, something the Dean wasn’t
telling him.
“Believe what you want. Here is where I shall take
my leave of you.”
Elliot had been staring at his feet crunching through
the thin layer of snow and ice that almost completely hid
the dead grass and hadn’t been paying attention to where
he was going. He looked up to see that they were now
in front of the Dean’s building. But he could have been
anywhere. He felt as if he were adrift in an unfamiliar sea,
without family, without friends, without anything that he
could rely on. He almost wished that he had stayed on the
roof because even though it was cold up there at least he
could have kept living under the delusion that his father
might have mourned his death.
“Don’t think that,” said the Dean, “If you had
remained up on that roof you might have been frostbitten come morning. Also, you wouldn’t have gotten this.”
The Dean tossed Elliot something and Elliot pulled
his hands out of his pockets and barely managed to catch
it before it hit the ground. It took him a minute to recognize that it was a phone charger. Confused, he asked,
“What’s this for?” The Dean just smiled, so Elliot added,
“You know, every time I see you I think about those old
silent movie Villains who tie innocent girls to railroad
tracks.”
“Those girls weren’t as innocent as they looked,”said
the Dean, who then turned and walked into the administration building, leaving Elliot to pocket the charger and
start back towards his room, wondering whether or not
the Dean had just been messing with him. Sadly, that was
preferable to thinking about the gaping maw of loneliness now chomping on his soul.