EVERY BREATH YOU TAKE (11 page)

She was still standing.

“Sit down,” he said, thinking maybe she was waiting to be invited to sit.

“Thank you.” She licked her lips, glanced around the room and finger combed her bangs. She set her purse on her lap and smiled. “This is really charming. You’re very talented.”

She was making him nervous with all her politeness. “Thanks. Drink?” he asked, starting to stand.

Shaking her head, she said, “No. Thank you. I just stopped by on the off chance you’d be available to see me.”

Griffin rolled his chair back a few inches and crossed one leg over his knee as he studied her. “And, as you can see, I was available.”

“Yes, I can see that.” She bit at her bottom lip.

Uncrossing his leg, he sat up straight, irritated with her. “Jesus, Hollin, just say what’s on your mind. You don’t want to see me again? Fine.”

“No, that’s not it.” She fumbled with a button on her jacket.

“So, you do want to see me again?”

She glanced up then averted her gaze. “Yes. I mean, I don’t know.”

She didn’t know
? Which could only mean one thing. “You changed your mind about my innocence?”

“No.” She faced him head on.

“No? But you think the other morning was a mistake.”

“Stop it! You’re confusing me. Making me nervous,” she said. “This is embarrassing, and hard for me.”

“Hard for you?” He gave a short laugh. “Frannie out there is probably on the phone right now telling everyone she knows that you’re in my office.”

Her eyes grew huge. “She knows about . . . us?”

“Everyone in town knows about
us
,” he said. “Although she hasn’t come out and asked me about the rape conviction, I assume she’s probably heard all the details from someone at some time.”

Hollin blew out a breath. “How could you come back here to a town who must have hated you?”

“It wasn’t easy. The alternative was to move somewhere else and try to make a new start. That was my original plan until I realized as a convicted rapist I had to report in with the authorities upon arriving. How long do you think it would have taken for that kind of news to spread through town? Any town?”

“I’m sorry.”

He believed she was truly sorry. The big question was, could he ever forgive her? Could he put it behind him, once and for all, and move on? Could he ever let himself fall in love with her? Or was he dreaming?

She picked at her button again then looked up at him. “I went to see Sheriff Tyler yesterday. I wanted to clear your name, set the record straight.” She frowned. “He said there isn’t anything I can do unless I have proof. I told him about the things I remembered, and he practically laughed in my face.”

Shrugging hopelessly and with little effort, Griffin said, “It’s done. You can’t change that. Neither can I.”

She leaned forward in her seat. “I know I can’t change the fact that you went to prison, or what happened to you in there--”

“Hollin,” he said, raising a hand to stop her. “I don’t know what made me tell you about that the other night. Maybe because I was so angry with you. I guess I wanted you to know what you had cost me. But it’s not something I can talk about again. Do you understand?”

“Yes.” She lowered her gaze to her lap.

He got to his feet, went to stand by the window and stared out at the street. It was much too quiet considering the clear blue sky and abundance of sunshine. Then he turned around to face Hollin. She was still staring at her lap.

He’d meant what he said. They couldn’t change the wrongs that had been done, no matter how hard they tried. He’d been a fool to think they could actually have a relationship.

“Look, I appreciate your trying to clear my name, but you’re obviously wasting your time. We can’t go back.” He paused. “I’m assuming the reason you came here today is because you realize that too. So, I’ll say it first. The other night was a mistake.” Part of him wished he’d never kissed her, never touched her. The other part of him was dying inside, knowing he very well may never kiss or touch her again.

Her gaze snapped upward to stare at him, but she didn’t say anything. She didn’t have to. She always wore her emotions on her face. And that face told him she was relieved he’d been the one to say it first.

“I see.”

Or maybe he couldn’t read her as well as he’d thought.

She picked up her purse from her lap and stood, her shoulders and back ramrod straight. But instead of heading toward the door, like he’d assumed she would, she came to stand directly in front of him. Close enough he could smell her scent. She slung the strap of her purse over her shoulder. “I don’t like people making assumptions about me. Don’t pretend to know what I want or how I feel.”

Griffin stood there, staring at this pint-size woman who was threatening him. Damn, but she was beautiful, and she confused the hell out of him. “What is it you want?” he finally asked.

“I think you know.”

“I wouldn’t want to piss you off by assuming. Tell me.”

“I already told you what I wanted the other night.”

Sex? She was bluffing, he was sure of it. “Tell me again.”

She lifted her chin a notch and stared him down. “What are you afraid of?”

“Me?” He straightened his posture, feeling defensive.

“Yes, you. Are you afraid of what the people in this town will think if they see us together?”

“No.” Beneath the navy jacket she wore a white blouse buttoned up to the neck. Griffin wanted to undo all those tiny buttons, open her blouse and bra, and feast on her breasts. He lifted his gaze from her chest to her face and saw her staring at him. He was at war with his emotions but decided to come clean. “Yes, I’m afraid,” he finally admitted. “Of you, of this town. I’m afraid of being a failure.”

He turned his back on her and stared out the window again. “I’ve worked my ass off to get where I am today, and it doesn’t mean a damn thing. People still think of me as dirt. A trailer trash punk who got a lucky break. It’s like they’re waiting for the walls to come crashing down on me. For me to turn into the monster they still believe I am. Hell, sometimes I feel the same way. I mean, who am I trying to kid? Owning all that land, building condos around the lake, renovating these old houses, doesn’t mean anything.”

He took a moment to catch his breath. “The things that can truly make a difference in a man’s life, give it meaning and purpose, aren’t supposed to happen to me. It’s just the way it is. So, I don’t waste a lot of time thinking about what I can’t have.”
Except for when it comes to you.

She touched him, placed a hand on his back, her fingers scorching him through his shirt. He spun around, practically knocking her off balance. “Do you want to know what I’ve been thinking about the last three days?”

She didn’t answer, just stared up at him with those innocent eyes, wide and questioning.

“I’ve been thinking about you, and how goddamned brave you are.”

Blinking, she said, “I’m not brave. I’m terrified. Of you. Of whoever it is that hurt me. Of having a normal relationship with a man.”

“You’re talking about a sexual relationship.”

Her face flushed with color. “Yes.”

“And yet you stood in my house and asked me to make love to you. That took guts, Hollin. Was it really me you wanted? Or was I supposed to be some kind of guinea pig? A test? An experiment?”

She bit at her lip, as if she were digesting his words, thinking of a response. “I don’t honestly know.”

It wasn’t the answer he’d hoped for, but he supposed it was the best she could do. Still, it irked him. “I don’t want to be used, by you, or anyone else. I’m not going to be some experiment for you. Got that?”

Swallowing, she nodded slightly.

“I told you what I wanted. When I fuck you, I want you to know it’s me inside you. Not some invisible man you’ve dreamed up. I’m not going to be gentle, and I’m not going to whisper sweet little nothings in your ear.” He waited for his words to sink in. “You’ve got me so hot and bothered, I’d like to toss you on my desk and fuck you right there.”

Watching her chest rise and fall, he heard the choppy breaths coming from her lungs. She looked at him with anticipation and fear. He’d shocked even himself with the crude way he’d talked to her. He had a feeling she was about to turn and walk away.

He was wrong.

Instead, she stepped into his arms, took his face in her hands and kissed him.

Standing on tip-toe, Hollin touched her lips to Griffin’s, lingering, savoring, waiting for him to respond. And then finally he crushed her to him and devoured her mouth.

He tugged at her skirt, hiking it high on her thighs so he could push his hand beneath. She loved the touch of his fingers rough against her skin, could hear the tiny snags as his palm brushed over her pantyhose.

One hand found her breast. The other kneaded her bottom, pulling her to his erection. Jolts of electricity zinged through her veins and reached low in her belly. She moaned helplessly against his mouth. The thought of making love to him terrified her to the core yet she still wanted him so badly.

His lips left hers to shower tiny, hot, moist kisses on her cheek, earlobe and neck. They were moving, backward. She was on a soft, wispy cloud, being transported to a place of seclusion and quiet.

And then her butt hit the desk, and her eyes flew open. He hadn’t been serious about tossing her on the desk, or had he?

Griffin hiked her skirt to her waist and lifted her to sit on the warm mahogany, insinuating himself between her legs. Her purse dropped from her shoulder, making a dull thud when it hit the hardwood floor.

He clawed at her pantyhose, tearing them away from her hips. The blood pounded in her brain, made her hands tremble. She remembered her panties being torn from her that horrible night, and it was all too much. All she had to say was “No” and she knew he would stop.

But she couldn’t say it. She was hypnotized by his touch.

He found her mouth again, kissing her deeply. His hands went to her hair, tugging the clip free. Then, pushing her legs wide, he touched her, dipped his finger in and out of her, spreading her moisture with his fingers.

He dragged his mouth away from hers. “Tell me to stop,” he rasped, lifting her blouse from the waistband of her skirt. Hollin closed her eyes, shutting away all her doubts and fears and threw her arms around him.

Swearing, he kissed her again. She was lost, totally immersed in him. And then a buzzer sounded.

“Griffin?” The woman’s voice sounded grainy but close by.

Griffin tore his mouth away. “Fuck!” He moved back several steps, ran both hands through his hair. His eyes, black as marbles, zoomed in on her. His erection continued to tent in his slacks while he fought to get himself under control. Making his way to the side of the desk, he picked up the phone and barked into it. “Not now, Frannie!”

Hollin used the distraction to quickly hop off the desk and tuck her blouse into her skirt. She spotted her hair clip and purse on the floor and bent to retrieve them. She’d totally forgotten where she and Griffin were, that his secretary was right outside the office door.

Had she no scruples? No pride whatsoever when it came to this man?

“I think I should go,” she said, her voice unsteady as she smoothed a hand over her rumpled clothing.

Griffin nodded, releasing a noisy breath.

But when she started to walk, the remains of her pantyhose came puddling around her legs and ankles. She felt a shudder of humiliation as she shuffled to the chair, kicked off her shoes and removed the scrap of nylon. Bundling it into a ball, she pushed it into her purse and stood.

“I’m sorry,” Griffin said, glancing at her bare legs. “I’ll replace them.”

“No need. It was my fault. I . . .” She met his gaze, studying him. He was quite possibly just as uncomfortable as she was. She let herself flop back into the chair and let out a tiny snort. “Griffin, what are we doing?”

“That’s a good question.” He stalked to the desk, rested his hip on the corner. “All I know is you’ve got me turned inside out. I can’t be in the same room with you without touching you, without thinking about what it would be like to be inside you.” He looked into her eyes, as if he was gauging her reaction. “I keep telling myself you’re wrong for me. I’ve been telling myself that since you were fifteen. But I can’t get you out of my mind. Maybe once we finally . . . ”

He didn’t finish his statement, but she knew exactly where he was going with it. “Is that why you want to . . . fuck me?” she asked, suddenly furious inside. “So you can get me out of your system? One more notch on your belt?”

He didn’t answer. He didn’t have to. She stood, lifting her chin and forcing her shoulders back.

Griffin pushed off the desk. “Wait a minute! Don’t go getting all holier than thou on me. Not ten minutes ago you admitted that you didn’t know if it was me you wanted or if I was some kind of experiment to see if you could stand to have sex with a man.”

Swallowing her pride, Hollin knew he was right. What made her confession any less hurtful than his? She blew out a frustrated breath. “Okay, so what do we do about it?”

“I guess we take the plunge. Find out what it is we’re really feeling.”

She nodded reluctantly.

“But not here,” he said. “And not now. I’ve got a million things going on.”

Hollin tried to look dignified, businesslike again. “I didn’t realize you were so busy. I guess I should have called first.”

“It’s okay,” he said with a shrug. “I understand. You missed me, and wanted to stop by and say hello.” He raised his brows, and smiled hopefully. “Right?”

“You should smile more often. It looks good on you.”

His smile faded. “Yes, well I don’t think I’ve had a whole lot to smile about in my lifetime.”

Hollin picked at a loose thread on her jacket, then met his gaze again and relaxed her stance. “Ed Townsend said you were interested in buying some of my mother’s property.”

His brows shot up again. “He said your mother wasn’t interested in selling.”

“She’s not, but I don’t see where she has a choice. The place is mortgaged to the hilt and she owes back taxes. The house is literally falling apart.” She hated discussing her mother’s financial problems with Griffin, but it couldn’t be helped. “She loves that old house. I think she would wither up and die rather than sell it. But in order to keep the house and make all the necessary repairs, we’ll need cash. And that means selling off some of the land.”

He crossed his arms and tilted his head slightly. He seemed to be contemplating. “Your house sits smack in the middle of the most valuable section of the property.”

“The house isn’t for sale. I’m going to talk to my mother about selling off the section of land east of the house. There are about two acres there, if you’re interested.”

“Hollin, be reasonable. How long do you think you’re going to be able to hold on to the house?”

“As long as I can. I’m not going back to Boston. I’m going to stay here and get a job, help my mother.”

He shook his head with a look of dismay. “You’re dreaming.”

“I’d like two hundred thousand for the two acres.”

Griffin dropped his hands to his sides. “Are you crazy? I’ll give you fifty thousand, not a penny more.”

She thought for a moment. “Seventy-five, and I’ll have Ed write up a first right of refusal for any additional property.”

Narrowing his eyes, he studied her for a moment. “Fine. I’ll have my attorney draw up the papers and send them over to Townsend’s office.”

Hollin released the breath she’d been holding, feeling proud of the deal she’d made. Now she had to convince her mother to sell. “Okay then.” She moved toward the door.

Griffin followed, stepping around her to open it for her.

Not knowing exactly what to say, she moved past him and made her way into the reception area. The woman with the burgundy hair smiled politely, running her gaze over Hollin’s attire. Her eyes widened at the sight of Hollin’s bare legs, and she quickly looked away.

Hollin turned to Griffin. “I’ll be in touch once I talk to my mother.” She offered him her hand.

He ignored it. Instead, he leaned forward and brushed her cheek with a kiss. In a low voice, he said, “I’ll be looking forward to finishing our little meeting.”

Hollin walked to the front door on shaky legs. She took in the drawings hanging on the office walls with appreciation. But she knew he was still watching her. She could feel his eyes on her the whole while. She didn’t dare turn around as she opened the door.

#

Griffin kept his gaze glued on Hollin until she closed the door and disappeared from sight. He turned around to find Frannie watching him with interest. “Nothing happened,” he said, pointing a finger at her.

“I didn’t say anything.”

“You didn’t have to. And I’d appreciate it if you didn’t mention to anyone that Hollin Pierce was here today.”

“My lips are sealed.”

“Uh, huh,” he mumbled, doubtful, and started to walk back into his office.

Frannie let her breath out in a huff, got to her feet and slammed her hands on her ample hips. “Now you listen to me, Griffin Wells. I may gossip about Emma Snyder who has been cheating on her husband for years, and Anne Kowalski who makes the worst pies for the church bake-off, but I don’t gossip about people I care about.”

Frannie cared about him?
Griffin almost laughed until she continued to set him straight.

“Do you actually think I would have come to work for you if I believed you had raped that girl?”

“A jury of my peers said otherwise.”

“Hah. Nate and Maryanne Whitaker are my dearest and oldest friends. When I moved back to Whisper Lake after Bill walked out on me in Chicago, the Whitakers recommended I call you about the job opening. They said you were a good man, paid a terrible price for a crime you didn’t commit. At the time that was good enough for me. But since I’ve come to work here, I’ve gotten to know you. Sure, you’re stubborn, grumpy and you sulk a lot. But you’re also fair and honest. And I know you aren’t capable of hurting anyone like that, no matter what those jurors believed.”

Griffin wanted to cry. With the exception of the Whitakers and a few business associates, he didn’t think he had any friends in town. He stood there, speechless, staring at his chubby secretary with the burgundy hair. What was he supposed to say her? He spread his fingers, letting her know he was at a loss for words.

“Go on,” she said, waving a hand at him. “You have work to do.”

He sucked in a breath, walked around the desk and hugged her. “Thanks, Frannie.”

She hugged him back, then broke away. “Get away from me before I start to cry.”

Laughing, he took a step backward. “Do you really think I’m grumpy?”

“You’re the worst.”

“Hmmm.” Griffin strode back to his office. “I’ll try to work on that,” he said, glancing over his shoulder. And then he shut the door behind him. “I’ll be damned. Frannie believes in my innocence.”

#

Hollin marched into Rachel’s room without bothering to knock. “Why have you been avoiding me?” she demanded of her sister, who was still in bed at shortly after one in the afternoon. Hollin had just returned from Griffin’s office.

“Get out,” Rachel mumbled, her words barely intelligible against the pillow. She turned her face away from the doorway and Hollin.

“You ran out of here several nights ago, after scaring me half to death, and then you’ve been sneaking in and out of here ever since. I’ve been worried sick about you, Rachel.”

Rachel pulled the covers over her head. “Go away.”

But Hollin wasn’t leaving, not yet. “Did that man with all the tattoos tell you I was at the Peacock Motel the other night?”

Rachel grunted.

“Who is he?”

“Nobody.”

“Well, he seemed pretty protective. He wouldn’t even let me in the room.” Sounds came from beneath the blanket, but Hollin couldn’t make out the words.

“You know, I don’t feel sorry for you. You’re beautiful. You have a darling daughter, who you don’t appreciate. A family who loves you.” She paused for a moment, hoping her words would sink in. “Why don’t you go back to school?” she suggested.

No response. Rachel had once wanted to be a veterinarian, but she’d dropped out of school before even getting a bachelor’s degree. They’d never owned any pets. Their mother thought animals were dirty and germy, and didn’t belong in the house. Which is probably why Rachel had leaned toward the profession in the first place.

Frustrated with her sister, Hollin said, “Fine. You don’t want to talk about you, then let’s talk about me.” She sat on the edge of the bed, angled her body so she could see Rachel’s form beneath the covers. “I haven’t had any luck finding a job yet.”

Obviously, Rachel didn’t care.

“I’m going to talk to Mom later about selling a few acres on the east side. With the money, we can maybe get a new roof, pay the taxes, and keep this ship afloat for a little while longer.”

Still nothing.

“Neil Thorpe scared me the other morning. He jumped out of the bushes. I think he’s been following me. It’s like he’s obsessed or something. And I’m actually frightened of him.”

Frustrated, Hollin sighed.
“Rachel, I’ve been thinking about that night,” she said slowly. “And I don’t remember seeing a pocketknife anywhere near where I was raped. Griffin said at the trial that someone must have planted it. At the time, we all assumed he was only lying. But I realize now that it wasn’t Griffin who hurt me.”

“Damn it, Rachel. Talk to me.” She lifted her gaze skyward, then focused on the lump in the bed. “I think I’m falling for him. I think I’m falling for Griffin Wells.”

Rachel’s head poked out from beneath the covers then slammed into the pillow. She let out a low growl. “Why can’t you leave the past alone?”

“I don’t know. I just can’t. Maybe it’s because I ruined his life. And maybe it’s because I want to prove to myself I can be normal. I want to get married someday and have children. I don’t want to cringe every time my husband touches me, or wants to make love to me.” Thoughts of her sitting on Griffin’s desk that morning, him ripping her pantyhose and touching her so intimately, came rushing back. Her face heated with the memories. If it hadn’t been for his secretary interrupting them, they would have done it right there in his office.

She’d been so terrified and yet her passion for Griffin had outweighed her fears of sexual contact and intimacy. “Rachel, we’ve come close to making love twice now.”