Every Breath (28 page)

I take a quick glance toward the front windows to see if the squad car is still there.

Drew’s sinister laughter echoes around the room. “They left a few minutes ago. I’ve been out there watching for hours. It’s kinda funny that they sit out there with the windows down and announce everything they’re going to do. In case you need to know, they went to pick up some dinner, but they’ll be back in about thirty minutes or so. That gives me more than enough time to get you out of here. They won’t even know you’re gone until morning, and that gives us more than enough time to get a good head start.”

I’m clenching my fists so hard that I can feel my fingernails biting into my palms. “I’m not going anywhere with you, Drew. You just need to get out of here before they get back.”

“Oh, but it’s not that easy, baby.” He stands, stalking toward me slowly. He turns off his menacing look in a split second, trying to seem gentler. Like I’d fall for that. “You told me once that you always wanted to go to Mexico, and I already have reservations made at a nice resort. We’ll spend a few days there and then hit the road again. I’ll let you decide where we go next. It’ll be fun. I can’t make that trip alone. You have to go with me.”

“No. I’m not leaving. Just go.”

His shoulders slump and he stares at me for a minute. “Fine. When you decide to wise up, give me a call. I can wait a few more days before I leave.”

I don’t say anything to him. I’m afraid to engage him any further, so I just stand there in the foyer as still as I can while he saunters toward the front door. Please, just leave.
Please
.

But he stops in front of the door with his back to me, silently standing there so long that every second becomes more tense than the last. I don’t know what he’s trying to do, but if his plan is to scare the hell out of me, it’s totally working.

“No.” He turns around. His eyes are empty and soulless, almost like he’s possessed. “This hasn’t been working for me. You know why? Because I knew if I didn’t have you, then he would. I couldn’t allow that. If he’d never butted in in the first place, we’d still be together. Do you realize that? I never would’ve had to tear the house up to keep you from talking to him. You never would’ve been dreaming about him instead of me. He ruined everything. That’s why he needed to die.”

Die? Oh God, no. “Drew, what did you do to Sawyer? Where is he?”

“You’re still worried about him? I’m standing right here in front of you, and all you’re worried about is that worthless piece of shit? Well, let me tell you something,
darlin’
—yeah, I heard him call you that a lot—he won’t be around to save your sweet little ass this time. He’s gone for good now, so all that’s left is you and me. Just how it all began. And that’s how it will end.”

I sink to the floor, hitting my knees hard on the wood, but I don’t even really feel it. The whole room is spinning, and I can feel the bile rising up the back of my throat. I can’t take it. Sawyer is gone. What the hell did I ever do to deserve losing not just one, but both men that I loved?

“He’s not been around for several days, but I’ve been watching, waiting on him to return. He finally came home this morning, and just like before, he went to bed. I didn’t get to finish what I started the first time, but this time I was sure that I didn’t let up until he took his last breath. I even stood there and just watched his blood dripping into the floor for a couple of hours. It was quite calming to know he’s not an obstacle anymore, especially now that he’s somewhere at the bottom of Mobile Bay right now.”

I can’t hear any more. I refuse to hear it. I completely skip the sadness and shift directly into pure rage, fueled by both my deep, genuine love for Sawyer and my absolute hatred for Drew. I don’t remember how I get to my feet, but all I know is I want to kill Drew for what he’s taken from me. I fling myself at him. Screaming, clawing, pounding, and kicking with everything I have in me. Which apparently isn’t anywhere near enough.

Drew easily flings me into the wall, bouncing my head off the sheetrock so hard that it leaves a hole. I’m so stunned that I can’t see straight, and I’m seeing so many of him, I can’t tell which one to kick at.

“You’ve always been a feisty little thing. So, anyway, now that your soldier boy is out of the picture, what do you say we get out of here? We don’t have long before your little pigs get back.”

“Go to hell. I’ll die before I leave this house with you.” And I think I actually mean it.

He seems to ponder it for a minute and crouches down over me. “Do you see these hands?” He holds them out to me. “I’ve already had a little blood on them today, so it’s not that big of a deal to have to wash the blood off them again. You really need to think about what you just said.” He laughs to himself, placing his hands over his knees and squatting closer to me. “Although, I really don’t want to do that again today. God, it was such a mess. Blood was everywhere.”

Lucky for me, he’s so wrapped up in his sick memories that he doesn’t realize he’s left himself exposed. Since he’s squatting right over my leg, I have the perfect shot to disable him for a few seconds at least. I can’t listen to anything more he says, so while he drones on about what he did, I twist my leg enough that my knee is pointing up, and I shove it up as hard as I can between his legs. He lets out a howling, guttural moan and falls backward, and I scramble to my feet to get to the kitchen.

Except the blow that I took to the head has me so dizzy that I fall right back to the floor, giving Drew enough time to grab my leg to catch me. I still fight to get away, but he easily gains full control by sitting on my stomach and pinning my arms to the floor with one hand.

“You little bitch.” He punches me right in the jaw and again in my mouth. The familiar coppery taste of blood fills my mouth. I’m screaming as loudly as I can for help, but he just laughs at me, continuing to slap and punch me.

But he gets too confident. Too cocky to notice that I can just almost reach the shelf along the wall. Thankfully, on the bottom shelf, there is a trophy from when I won the state spelling bee in high school. I thought it was silly to keep it out, but my mom whined when I packed it away. So to compromise, I stuck it on the bottom shelf here. Moms really are usually right, aren’t they?

Drew leans forward and inhales as his nose grazes up my neck and into my hair. “You’ve always smelled so good.” He follows the same path with his tongue, making me want to throw up. “You’ve always tasted good, too.”

He shoves his free hand down the top of my blouse and into my bra, roughly pinching my breast and squeezing it. He’s not fazed by my bucking and yelling. Actually, I think he likes it because he smiles and moves to the other side.

Where the hell are the cops? They should be back by now. They should be able to hear me.

Drew finally pulls his hand out, and I think he’s given up, but he grips my shirt between two buttons, ripping it open and sending buttons skittering along the floor. He easily flicks open the clasp in the front of my bra and pulls it back, leaving me completely exposed to him. “I’ll bet these taste good, too,” he announces just before taking one in his mouth and sucking and biting hard enough to make me scream in pain.

He finally tires of that game and sits up. I can only imagine what vile thing he’s thinking of next, and I pray I’m wrong. But I’m not.

“I’m glad you wore a skirt for me today.” He reaches beneath him to drag my skirt further up my legs, and when I start kicking my feet, he pounds his heavy fist into my face again, stunning me just long enough for him to get all of my skirt in a wad of fabric around my stomach and drag my panties down my thighs. I know it’s now or never. If I can’t scoot up enough to get that trophy in my hand, things are only going to get worse.

“Since your soldier boy got you all loosened up, I’ll bet you’re nice and soft for me now. I saw the two of you through the window on Christmas Eve, you know. It was that night that I decided he had to die.”

I can hear the clinging of his belt buckle as he begins opening the front of his pants. I make one last attempt to scream, pleading for someone to help me, but no one comes. The only response I get is another fist to my already bruised cheek.

I know I’m not strong enough to overpower him, so I have to use my brain. He can’t stay sitting on top of me for what he has in mind, so when he goes to shift his legs beneath mine, I’m going to make my move. This is the last chance I have. It has to work.

He leans in to kiss me, the sickening taste of his tongue fills my mouth, and I can feel his saliva running down my cheek. “I’ve missed kissing you, Makenna. I know you never really liked it, but you will. And don’t worry, you’re going to like this, too.” He finally shifts his weight to one knee and holds my wrists in front of my stomach.

I take that opportunity to twist one hand from his grasp and push myself up with my leg those couple of inches I needed to get my hand on my last chance. Before he has time to look up to see what I’m doing, I grasp it tightly and bring it down on the top of his head. Once. Twice.

But on the third attempt, he deflects it, grabbing my wrist and taking the trophy from me. I can hear it crash through the window in the front door when he throws it. I guess it’s all over now. Even though I can see the thick blood oozing steadily from the top of his head, it wasn’t enough to stop him.

Once he regains his bearings, he looks down at me, and I try to mentally prepare myself for what’s about to happen. I don’t have much strength left, so I don’t know what else I can do at this point other than to let him do what he wants to do and hope he’ll leave after he’s done.

What I’m not prepared for is the hand that clamps around my throat. I can’t breathe. I can’t scream. I’m clawing at his hands with my fingernails and trying to pull at his fingers to break the strong grip, but I can’t move him. No matter how hard I fight, he doesn’t budge.

“How does it feel to know that my face will be the last one you ever see?” he asks with an eerily calm smile as he tightens his grip even more.

My eyes are burning, and I can feel tears streaming from them. My fingers are starting to feel numb, so I can’t tell if I’m even fighting him anymore. My lungs are constricting in my chest, dying for even a single molecule of oxygen. I don’t really believe this is going to be my end until the darkness starts closing in on me. At first, it’s just spots, but eventually a black fog surrounds me, moving in closer and closer at an alarming rate.

Maybe it’s for the best, now that both Shane and Sawyer are gone. Maybe we can all be together now somehow.

It’s darker now. But in the last of the fading light, he’s there.

Shane smiles down at me, and I feel calm.

He’s here to walk with me to the other side.

And Sawyer, too. I see him.

But he’s not happy.

I’m okay. Don’t worry.

It’s peaceful here now that Drew is gone.

The darkness is nice. It wants me to yield to it.

I’m ready for it to take me.

I’m ready to be with you again, Sawyer.

Goodbye, world.

The pounding in my head is nothing compared to the sandpaper I feel in my throat when I breathe. I always thought heaven was supposed to be pleasant. And no one ever said that it was so bright that it gives you a migraine. It makes me feel like I’m going to throw up.

I try to take a deep breath to combat the nausea, and it ends up making me choke. I fight to catch my breath, but the more I cough, the more it scratches, and I choke more.

“Take a drink of water, sweetheart. It should help.”

I feel a straw at my lips, and I’m willing to try anything at this point, so I suck on it. The cool liquid immediately soothes all the way down, even if it hurts a little to swallow it. I take a few more sips and push the straw away. That’s better. “Thank you.”

“Thank God you’re awake,” a familiar young woman speaks. It almost sounds like Callie. “You had us really worried, doll.” Okay, wait. That’s definitely Callie. I force one eye open, even though the light coming through sears my retinas. Damn it, that hurts.

Callie’s perfect blonde bob sways forward when she leans over me. “How do you feel?”

I look down at myself in that horrific hospital gown, and I come to the sudden realization that I’m reliving a nightmare. This time, though, it was Sawyer who died. And again, not me. How can I live through this again?

“Shut the damn curtains.” My voice is hoarse, but apparently someone hears because the room gets darker. I’m able to open my eyes more fully now, and I can see my mom, dad, and Wes sitting around my bed. Their eyes are all red-rimmed, and judging by her puffy eyes, Callie has been crying her fair share, too.

No. I don’t want to do this again. I can’t survive it. Why couldn’t I just die this time?

I burst into tears, and it hurts like hell, but it gives me something to focus on other than the pain of my heart ripping apart inside. Again. My dad gets up and leans over the bed rail, doing his best to hug me around all the wires and tubes. “You’re going to be okay, Scout.”

“No, Daddy,” I wail. “Not this time. I’ll never be okay again.”

Callie steps back when Mom comes around the other side. “Of course you will, sweetie. It’s all over now. You just need to heal and everything will be back to normal, I promise.”

Wes rubs my foot. “You’re going to be fine, Mak. You have all of us to help you.”

A nurse appears at my side. “Quiet down, honey. I’m going to help you rest, okay?” She proceeds to inject a needle into the I.V. port at my wrist, and I can feel the heat of it seeping into my veins. My body feels heavy almost immediately, and my eyes won’t stay open.

“Sleep, Scout,” I hear the echo of my dad’s voice as I drift away.

My eyes suddenly jolt open. My room is empty, and it’s dusk outside my windows. Well, I can’t tell if the sun is about to come up or go down. I feel like I’ve been asleep for days, especially if the dryness in my mouth is any indication. I reach out for my cup that sitting on that handy little bed table, and I see movement at the other window. A man.

I take a deep breath, prepared to scream, and he steps into the minute amount of light streaming in through the glass. That’s when I feel like all the air is knocked out of me.

“Good morning. How do you feel, darlin’?” Sawyer walks over to the side of my bed.

“Am I dreaming?”

A slight grin turns the corner of his mouth. “I’ve been asking myself that same question.”

Not a direct answer, but I’ll assume I am. That’s okay, though. I’ll take any chance I can get to see him again. “Sawyer, I-I’m so sorry. I didn’t know he’d take it that far.”

His fingertips brush along the tender skin of my jaw. “Don’t be sorry for anything. You couldn’t have known what he was capable of. We don’t have to worry about him anymore.”

“How do you know? Where is he?” I feel my body coiling, tensing at the thought of him.

“Calm down,” he whispers. “I promise you’re safe now. He’s in jail. I was just there this morning and saw it with my own two eyes. I had to go identify him.”

Identify him? I know for sure I’m dreaming now. My Sawyer is gone.

“Don’t say things like that. You make it sound like you’re really still here with me.”

“I know I didn’t make it easy for you, Makenna. I should’ve been honest with you from the moment I figured out who Shane is. And I don’t blame you for being upset with me for it. Not at all. I just wanted to give you some time to decide on your own what you really wanted. But I promise, I never ever left you.”

Now he’s just pissing me off. “It’s not fair to mess with my head at a time like this. It’s going to be hard enough to live without you, to live this nightmare over again. Another crushing heartache. Another funeral. I can’t take it.”

“Funeral? Whose funeral?” He scrunches his eyebrows at me.

“Yours!”

He leans in and looks into my eyes. “Are you feeling alright? Do you have a headache right now?” He holds up his index finger and moves it from side to side. “Keep your eyes on my finger, okay?”

I slap his hand away. “Would you stop?! I’m fine.”

“Well, if you’re fine would you like to explain why I’m having a funeral?” He truly looks concerned. Maybe he doesn’t even know he’s gone yet. Oh wait . . . this is
my
dream.

“Don’t you remember what happened? Drew . . . he . . . he killed you.”

Sawyer snickers. “Umm, no. Pretty sure I don’t remember that. I need to get a doctor in here. I’m not liking how you’re acting. We may need to get you in for another scan to see how your brain is looking.” He walks toward the door and catches a nurse walking by. He mumbles something to her, and she nods, turning back in the other direction. “Just lie really still and rest,” he says soothingly. “We’ll see if we can figure out what’s going on with you.”

“No, Sawyer, I mean it. You died.” Why doesn’t he believe me?

“Makenna,” he takes my hands and places them on his face. “Do you feel me? If I was dead, I couldn’t very well stand here and talk to you. Do you feel the warmth of my skin? Do you feel my hands on yours? I’m here, darlin’. You’re not dreaming. I didn’t die.”

“But . . .”

“What makes you think I’m dead? Did you see it happen?”

A nurse comes in and looks at him funny, obviously taken aback by that strange question. She shrugs her shoulders and walks back out.

I look up at Sawyer, who’s still holding my hands against his face. “Drew. He told me that he killed you.”

His eyes grow impossibly wide. “Damn, sweetheart. You believed him?” He slides one of my hands onto his neck, pressing my fingertips into the soft flesh just under his jawbone. “Do you feel that? Do you feel my pulse? I’m alive, darlin’. He was just lying to you.”

“You’re really here? You’re alive?” My heart is going to pound right out of my chest.

He lowers the bed rail and sits beside me. “Yes. I promise. I’m pretty sure I’d be able to tell if I wasn’t.”

“Oh my God.” I don’t know what else to say. Suddenly sobs rack my body, and I don’t know if it’s the relief that he’s here, or if it’s just sheer mental exhaustion at this point. But I don’t’ care. He’s here.

He wraps his arms around my neck and holds me until the tears stop falling. By that point, I can barely stay awake, but there are a few things I have to know.

“Did the cops finally show up? I don’t know how I even got here.”

He pushes my tear soaked hair from my face. “It was me. Didn’t you see me?”

“Well, I did, but I also saw Shane.”

“I can’t explain that one, but I was definitely there. I was sitting at home, thinking about you, and I just had to drive by your house. Something told me that I needed to check on you. I slowed down as I drove past and saw your car in the drive and lights on in the house, so I kept going. But I saw a truck parked at the edge of the woods about half a mile up the road. The same truck that he drove away in the day he was at my house. I turned around and flew to your house, hoping that he was just watching you and that he’d go away if he saw my vehicle there.”

He shakes his head and clenches his jaw. Tight lines of muscle appear in his forearms when he bunches his fists. “I sat at the end of the driveway about a minute and decided to just walk around the house. I didn’t want you to know I was there. So, I walked up the drive, scanning the edge of the woods to see if there was anything out of the ordinary, but when I got closer to the house, I could see that the glass in the front door was busted out. I walked up there as quickly and quietly as I could. I could hear him talking. I could see him sitting over you. So, I reached in through the hole in the glass and unlocked the door. When I saw the bastard’s hands around your neck, I freaking wailed on him. I jerked him off of you, and he came at me. We scuffled a little bit, but I landed two solid blows to his temple and he went down.”

I squeeze his hands. “That must’ve been right as I lost consciousness. I saw you standing behind him.”

“Those dumbass cops showed up by then, and they were all sorts of confused. I yelled at them to take care of Drew before he came to, and I ran over to you. You were breathing very faintly, but your breaths slowly got deeper. I don’t know what I would’ve done . . . you were damn lucky.”

“No, luck had nothing to do with it, Sawyer. You saved me. Again.”

He shrugs his shoulders like it’s not a big deal. “Nothing anyone else wouldn’t have done. If I’d gotten there sooner, it wouldn’t have happened at all.”

“Would you stop it?! Sawyer, you saved my life. If you hadn’t shown up, I would’ve died. Drew would’ve made sure of that. And who knows what else would’ve happened to me.” I shiver at the thought.

“Did he . . . do anything else to you?”

“Nothing major. Nothing I can’t deal with.”

His eyes fall closed. “You have bite marks on your chest, and you were half naked, so we were worried. The docs even used a rape kit on you when they brought you in.”

Nice to know I was violated while I was sleeping. “No, nothing like that. I stopped him before it got that far. That’s what pissed him off so bad. That’s why he started choking me.”

“He’ll never come near you again. I promise.”

We stay silent for a while, lost in our thoughts, and I remember the other thing I wanted to say to him. “It wasn’t your fault. The night of the accident. I know that now.”

“Yes, it was.”

I reach out and jerk his face so that he’s looking at me. “I’ve thought about it a lot, and I talked to Shane’s brother, who was there by his side when he died. There wasn’t anything that could’ve been done for him. Even the coroner said so. If you hadn’t made the decision to try to stop the bleeding in my leg, I wouldn’t be here now either. So thank you for making the right decision. Thank you for saving my life. As if I wasn’t indebted to you enough, you had to do it again today. Thank you. So so much.”

“First of all, darlin’, it happened almost two days ago. But most importantly, I just did my job. I did what I thought I should do. I’m just sorry it wasn’t enough to help you both.”

Taking his face in my hands, I pull him down to me. “We’re going to be working on this. When someone says ‘thank you,’ you just politely say ‘you’re welcome.’”

He scowls at me, but it’s quickly followed by that infamous crooked grin. “You’re welcome.”

“Good boy. And one more thing . . .”

“What?”

I pull him a little closer. “I love you.”

He smiles wide enough that I get to see both dimples. “I love you, too.” And he leans in to kiss me, a kiss filled with more love and more passion than should be legal.

Footsteps in the door cause us to stop and turn toward the noise, and the same nurse from earlier is watching us. She shrugs her shoulders again, but this time she smiles and shuts the door behind her on the way out.

I really like her.