Every Boy's Got One (26 page)

To: Cal Langdon

Fr: Jane Harris

Re: Time to talk

Because I was having a nice time at the pool! At least until YOU showed up there.

And no, I haven’t changed my mind. Holly and Mark belong together, and I don’t understand why anyone would think otherwise.

And I’m not “blinded by the romance of the thing,” as you put it. It’s sweet, that’s all. And if you do anything to try to ruin it, you’re a creep!

J

To: Jane Harris

Fr: Cal Langdon

Re: Time to talk

A creep?

Cal

To: Cal Langdon

Fr: Jane Harris

Re: Time to talk

You heard me. Or read me. A CREEP. Only a creep would try to talk his best friend out of marrying the girl of his dreams. Don’t even tell me that isn’t what you were up all night doing down there on the terrazza.

J

To: Jane Harris

Fr: Cal Langdon

Re: Time to talk

How do you know what I was up all night doing? You went to bed at ten.

Cal

To: Cal Langdon

Fr: Jane Harris

Re: Time to talk

I just happened to get up to get a drink of water, and I saw you out there. You and Mark.

But it didn’t work, obviously. Or we wouldn’t be making this trip to Castelfidardo, now, would we?

J

To: Cal Langdon

Fr: Jane Harris

Re: Time to talk

I didn’t get a chance to speak to Mark, due to the fact that the excessive amount of alcohol he put away at dinner rendered him comatose. Not, I would like to add, a good sign that he is looking forward to his impending nuptials with joy.

Cal

To: Cal Langdon

Fr: Jane Harris

Re: Time to talk

Oh, please.
I
could drink Mark under the table. He’s always been a lightweight. He was probably just trying to keep up with you. That doesn’t mean ANYTHING.

Besides, every guy has the right to let off a little steam before he gets married.

J

To: Jane Harris

Fr: Cal Langdon

Re: Time to talk

> every guy has the right to let off a little steam before he gets married.<

Proving my point that marriage is an unnatural and antiquated institution that ought to be abolished. The fact that it is traditional for men to get blind stinking drunk the night before their wedding just shows that it is a state into which they are entering against their better judgment.

WOMEN want marriage. Men do not. Mark’s behavior last evening proves deep down, he doesn’t want this. And you know it.

Cal

To: Cal Langdon

Fr: Jane Harris

Re: Time to talk

You’re so weird. Seriously. Are you this way about EVERYTHING? I mean, do you have to overthink every little thing? Don’t you ever just DO stuff, without thinking about it first?

Or is it BECAUSE you did something once, without weighing the consequences, and got burned, that you are so anti-marriage?

J

To: Jane Harris

Fr: Cal Langdon

Re: Time to talk

And I suppose you’re going to claim you haven’t been dreaming about your wedding day since you were seven? Dressing your Barbies up in bridal veils and walking them down the aisle with poor hapless Ken since you were nine? Sketching designs of your dream wedding gown since your teens, and viewing every male you met after the age of twenty as potential husband/father-of-your-children material, weighing his earning potential against his looks and assessing the chances of his remaining faithful to you?

Cal