Ever Bound (4 page)

After I made it to the house, I jerked the back door open and tore my shirt off. There was just something cleansing about slinging an axe at an innocent woodpile. So, that’s what I’d do. I didn’t care if I broke the axe handle.

“I’ll be in the back chopping that pile of wood.” I passed Mama on my way through the kitchen.

“Oh, no you don’t. Not on the Sabbath.” She gave a disapproving glance at my shirtless torso.

“Okay. Can I go sling an axe at wood without purposely chopping any of it? The Bible says there is a place for anger, and I don’t think you want it in your kitchen.” I eyed the few pieces of China Pop had worked so hard for.

She looked into my eyes. “Is it anything you want to confide in me about?”

“It’s something I want to sling an axe about.” I went out the back door and to the wood shed in search of the strongest axe.

I raised the axe over my head and brought it down on the chopping block as hard as I could. The reverberation of the metal wedge meeting wood jarred my bones. Over and over, I slammed the axe. Raw rage burned my veins.

It never occurred to me before now what my virtue meant to me. It had never been in danger. It was something I would have shared with the person I spent the rest of my life with. The person with whom I shared my darkest secrets and deepest desires.

Now the first night with the woman I was bound to for eternity would be blemished with memories of Grace’s filth. I lifted the axe again and brought it down even harder.

What if a woman could tell you’d had indiscretions with someone else? What if she didn’t want you after she knew? What if I ended up being alone?

I’d never cared about having someone to love until Grace had shown me exactly what love wasn’t.

God had taken a rib from Adam to make Eve, but I was sure that Satan had stolen another, ground it with ashes from hell, and saved it for the day he made Grace Rollins.

A woman spoke from behind me. “He who angers you, controls you.”

Maybe on a bright sunny day when the world was normal and my virtue hadn’t been ripped away from me, I might have lowered the axe before I turned, but this time seeing Annabeth reminded me of Grace.

“How would you know anything about anger in your perfect world, in that big perfect house, with all your perfect little frocks and your perfect—” I couldn’t say that. She might not take well to me commenting on her endowments so I brought the axe down to a good, solid thwack on the chopping block.

“My perfect what?” she asked with a smirk.

I jerked and wiggled the axe. It came out easily all the rest of the times. No matter how I worked it, it still wouldn’t budge.

“I was gonna say face. Your face. Are you happy? You look like your mother.” I needed air. Air that one of the Rollins wasn’t breathing with me. Storming past her, I almost stumbled over a log.

“Well, Cole Kinsley. I didn’t know you noticed,” she said. “My face, that is.”

“I didn’t say it was pretty.” I stopped and stared at the tree line past the Rollins Plantation. Heck. It was probably all theirs. They probably owned half the state. And now they owned us. If word got out what happened between Grace and me. We were done.

“No? You said it was perfect.”

“And my name’s Colby, not Cole.” I went to the back door of my house.

She followed me.

“Colby’s a boy’s name. You’ve grown up, in case you haven’t noticed. And grown men don’t pitch tantrums when dumb girls insult them.”

I started to ask what she knew about us or her sister and me because there was and never would be an us, but I wanted to forget. “In the most respectful of manners, of course, could you pass along the message to your parents that I’d like your sister to stay as far away from me as possible?”

“Ho-ho-ho, now who’s acting better than thou? You sending me on errands.” Annabeth crossed her arms curtly over her flat—I stopped. Even the fact that her dress wasn’t as flat as it used to be sent more angered heat to my cheeks.

“Go home, little girl,” I growled at her. “Before I turn you over my knee and send you that way myself.”

Annabeth gave me a sweet, triumphant smile and cupped her skirts with her irritatingly elegant fingers, but before she walked away, she turned. “Fine, Cole. But the next time I find you trying to peep into my window, I may not be so forgiving.”

My voice got garbled into some ridiculous sound in my throat.

Annabeth swung around and stomped to her house.

* * * *

On Saturdays, the house cook prepared food for the whole plantation so we wouldn’t have to cook on the Sabbath. I opened my door to head up to the house for my dinner plate, and there stood Annabeth Rollins, plate in hand. I almost slammed the door.

Annabeth shoved the plate at me. “Mama said to bring this to you. Don’t choke.”

“Did you put something in it?” I leaned against the doorsill.

“You’re welcome.” She slapped the plate into my hands.

I almost dropped it.

Gathering her skirts, she spun around and glided down the steps.

“Wait.” Giving in, I shook my head. “Why didn’t a servant bring this? Why would you bother?”

“Elsie was busy. And I came down here to prove to myself that I just caught you in a bad mood today, and that you could be pleasant on occasion.” Annabeth faced me. “Obviously, I was mistaken.”

Of course, she couldn’t know all the details of her sister’s Saturday evening adventures. Maybe she’d just been trying to be helpful, but receiving a plate of food from any of the Rollinses right now was a little too early. I didn’t think I could trust any of them now or ever.

“I’m sorry. I don’t mean to lash out. I just…” I didn’t feel like explaining. “It’s been a bad day.”

“I couldn’t help but hear her loud mouth when she followed you home. Don’t let her make you feel unworthy of anything life has to offer. She’s spoiled and in the opinion that no one is as good as her. I’m sorry she…broke your heart?”

“I’m sure I’ll make it through it. Anyway, thanks for the plate.” I nodded a more polite dismissal to her.

She didn’t deserve my anger.

* * * *

Months passed, but things only got worse with Grace. On the walks home from school, I stayed as far back from her as possible. She tried to start conversation as if she hadn’t somehow poisoned my food and my mind, then violated my body. Unsure how else to handle her or the situation and keep any sense of self-respect, I ignored her attempts.

Annabeth spoke to me on occasion, but I kept her at a distance too. I didn’t know how to talk to girls anymore, except Mama. I just became a bundle of nervousness. So I didn’t bother, or if I did, I messed up the conversation.

I admired Annabeth.

After months of walking a distance behind her and her sister, I compared the two girls, just by watching their interactions with people.

They were night and day.

I sometimes wondered how Annabeth had come from the same family. She was kind to others, always putting them first, loved animals, and became more beautiful as each day passed. Why hadn’t Annabeth been the one to speak to me first? Why hadn’t she wanted to become acquainted?

Ahh. It didn’t matter. Even if Annabeth had been interested and we had been from the same social circle, at some point, I might have had to pick up and leave in the middle of the night, so making attachments wasn’t a good idea, anyway.

She always walked with girls who turned off through the woods to go home. Her brown hair shone in the sunlight, and with a carefree bounce, she clutched her speller and chalkboard.

From behind me, Drew Cobb, with his blond hair slicked back and his finely pressed clothes, slapped the back of my head and ran on past. He caught up with Annabeth.

I figured he’d head for one of the girls beside her or even Grace. But he didn’t. He slid right in beside the most pure person I knew.

Annabeth stiffened at his closeness at first, but it wasn’t long before she politely exchanged conversation with Drew.

I wasn’t very fond of him, but I didn’t hate him, either. He just wasn’t the type I would be caught fishing or doing anything else with really.

Drew was from a prominent family in the town. Socially, he would be a good match for any of the town girls, but he wasn’t the most respectful person I knew. And that was putting it lightly.

His conversation was tasteless when the lady folk weren’t around.

As the parson would have put it, he was foul-mouthed and flesh-driven.

Drew leaned in and whispered something to Annabeth.

A deep blush rose from her neck and brightened her cheeks, but she smiled at him.

Her smile was too bright to be wasted on him.

Didn’t she see the way he talked up all the girls at school?

I walked a little faster.

Drew Cobb was not going to get fresh with Annabeth Rollins.

“So I hear you’re going to college.” Drew nudged her playfully.

A few of the girls turned off the path, and two of the younger ones up ahead kicked up dust as they giggled.

Annabeth smiled after the girls. “I’m going to try. Men don’t see the value of women researching alongside them, but one day, I’ll be a doctor.”

Huh. I hadn’t seen that one coming.

“Talk like that is bold coming from a woman. She has her place.” His fingers twitched beside him as he moved nearer to Annabeth. The closer he got, the more my skin crawled.

Passing Grace, I closed the gap between us by three more feet.

“I feel a woman should be held higher than she is in society, but I’m in no way contending that a woman is better than a man or that she can do the things a man can physically. Intellectually, she can contribute just as much to the research of medicine.” Annabeth held her head high.

That a girl.

Drew stared off into the woods as if she were a babbling loon. “Women are to run a household and bear children.”

“Ah, we see things differently there.” She gripped her speller and sped up a bit.

“So, you still want to have children and do all the wifely duties, but you want an education too?”

“I want an education and a career, and then I may think of having a family after that.” Annabeth stared straight ahead and walked faster.

“You have it all planned out. Some men might not like that, but I think that’s attractive in a woman.” Drew nudged her.

Their contact sent heat to my face.

Looking down, Annabeth smiled sweetly and held her speller flat against her.

Drew poked his hands into his pockets. “I’d also planned to go school to be a doctor of medicine. We’d make quite a pair.”

What a crock.

“That’s to be seen, Mr. Cobb.” She turned down our drive.

Drew stared after her. When I got to him, his gaze was on Annabeth’s backside, but he stopped me.

“That’s a tough one to figure.” His grin was mischievous. “Boy, are you ever lucky.”

“How do you suppose?”

“You live right behind both of them. I bet you sneak a peek in their windows at night, and if you don’t, you’re crazy.” He chuckled.

I balled my fist. “Actually, the thought has never crossed my mind. Do I need to tell the groundskeeper to watch for young men with less than respectable motives?”

Drew bucked up. “You trying to get cross with me, boy?”

I stepped up until we were nose to nose. “No, I’m warning you. Boy. Stay away from Annabeth.”

Drew put his hand on my chest and backed me up. “You should probably let Annabeth decide who she wants to bed.”

Every bit of bone and flesh in my body exploded into flames.

“She’s not the kind of girl to take kindly to some slop boy making threats to a possible suitor. If I decide I want her, that’s my business.” A wicked grin twisted Drew’s lips.

I held my breath.

He turned, pulled a kerchief out of his black suit pants pocket, dabbed sweat from his brow, and walked down the lane.

I couldn’t feel my fingers. I may not have known Annabeth very well, but I was sure she would appreciate me looking out for her.

* * * *

With a need to arrive home sooner than usual, I walked ahead of everyone the next day. Nothing was more important than how Drew acted around Annabeth, but I couldn’t get in trouble with Pop.

He had asked me to get the rose pruning done early because Mr. Rollins needed to see me around four.

I put my books down inside our cottage and went to the barn.

Pop shoveled the stalls while I pruned around the backside of the maze.

Not too long after I’d had the walls of the maze constructed, Mr. Rollins had shipped in some of the finest rose bushes I’d ever seen. It had become my job to see that the walls remained pristine. I put every ounce of my extra energy into it.

On the other side of the hedge, leaves crinkled and twigs broke.

I stood straighter and listened.

Annabeth sang softly, happily.

My heart pounded. “I saw you with the Cobb boy.”

She gasped and spread the bushes apart. “Are you spying on me?”

I raised the clippers and smiled. “Working.”

“What the Cobb boy and I do is my business and my business alone.”

“So, you’ve done something?” The beginning of a knot started in my stomach.

“Ugh. I said none of your business. Were you watching us?”

“Watching you kiss?”

Her mouth formed an O. “You creep. Did Daddy put you up to this? Grace? If she—”

“No, I wasn’t watching. And you aren’t very good at keeping secrets. If your father found out you were kissing a boy, he’d have you locked away in a tower somewhere.”

“Well, he won’t unless you tattle. Besides, it wasn’t a serious kiss.” She let the bushes slap back together.

“By not serious, you mean your tongues didn’t touch?”

“Colby Kendall Kinsley. I will not be subject to this line of questioning from you. It is clearly improper and unacceptable.” Twigs and leaves snapped as she stomped in the other direction. “And he told me about your little argument with him yesterday. It’s not your place to approve my possible suitors. What I do is my business. I’m not a little girl.”

“Whoa. Wait.” I stood still, silent, hoping she’d come back.

With her arms curtly folded, she reappeared.