Ever After (13 page)

E
LEVEN

E
mily had steeled herself for this day, prepared for it by praying and journaling and taking long walks across campus just so she could think. With her mother back in the Middle East, her entire world felt like it was spinning out of control. And now this — her last day with Justin. When she woke that morning, she had tears on her cheeks even before she stepped out of bed.

Her parents had failed. Sure, they told her they might have another shot at a relationship someday. Sometime. But the dream of seeing them married was over. Even still, today was harder. Justin was leaving. There could be nothing sadder than that.

He picked her up a little after noon, and from the moment she joined him inside his Jeep, she felt something different between them, a sorrow that neither of them had allowed until this day.

“I have a few surprises for you.” He grinned at her as he drove off the campus and entered the freeway. He wore his dress uniform, and he’d never looked more handsome.

“Me too. For you.” She turned her eyes to the road because it hurt too much to look at him, to imagine him with grime on his face and mud on his boots, working the front line and kicking in doors. Her heart felt heavy inside her, and it remained that way until they pulled into a parking spot near Seattle’s waterfront. She laughed, because if she didn’t, the tears were bound to come. “The same place?” She slipped her bag onto her arm. “You’re taking me to the same place we went for our first date?”

“Sort of.” He swung a backpack over his shoulder and held her hand.

Even the air felt the same as it had the first time they were there. They walked past tourists and burly fishermen lugging buckets and poles over their shoulders. A chorus of seagulls filled the air, and every once in a while, Justin’s eyes met hers as they strolled along. She savored the sights and smells, breathing them in. She would remember this day forever. When they reached the water, instead of going to the restaurant where they’d shared their first meal, he took her out onto Pier 55, to the place where a three-level white cruise ship was loading.

“Justin, are you serious?” She stopped and stared at the ship. “You’re taking me on a cruise?”

“Yeah, well.” He rubbed his knuckles on his shoulder.“The Bahamas seemed a little far for an afternoon ride, so, you know — ” he grinned — “I settled for this.”

She’d heard from a few of the kids on campus that the lunch and dinner cruises that made their way around Elliott Bay and Puget Sound were worth every penny. The perfect place for a romantic date. But she and Justin had been forced to catch their moments between their other commitments. Though some of the cruises lasted only an hour, most were longer, and besides that, they were expensive.

Before they boarded, Justin snagged an older couple strolling past on the pier. “Please … could you take our picture?”

Both of them lit up. The man held out his hand. “Absolutely, young man.” He gave Justin a handshake before taking the camera from him. “And thank you for the fine job you and your guys are doing for our country.”

Emily’s heart swelled with pride. He
was
doing a fine job, even going to Iraq showed what sort of man Justin was, what sort of man he was going to become in later years.

“Thank you, sir.” Justin took Emily’s hand and moved her back a few steps so they were standing with the cruise ship behind them. “Okay, whenever you’re ready.”

Before the man snapped the picture, his gray-haired wife leaned in and smiled. “Oh, dear, aren’t they the most adorable couple? Just like you and me at that age.”

“The way we looked an hour ago.” The man grinned and then looked at them. “Okay, one … two … three.” He snapped the picture and handed the camera back to Justin. “Someday, when you’re old and gray like us, you’ll look back on that picture and understand about the passing of time. Don’t blink, young people!” He jabbed his finger in the salty air and smiled. “Enjoy every minute.”

“Thank you. We will, sir.” Justin waved to them and then turned to her. “Good advice.”

Emily could only nod. Could the man possibly have known how accurate he was or how timely his message? They boarded the ship and spent the first hour eating a lunch of grilled chicken. After that, they went up on deck and found a secluded bench on one side, a spot where the view was breathtaking. The ocean air felt wonderful, and with the design of the ship, the wind wasn’t too strong.

“I can’t wait another minute.” He set his backpack down and went to unzip it.

“Wait.” She put her hand on his. “Let me go first. Please.”

He grinned at her, and the sun on the water made his eyes look greener than ever before. He sat up straight again. “Okay. You go.”

Her heart beat hard. Gifts weren’t always her thing, but she’d thought long and hard about this one. She pulled the wrapped item from her bag and handed it to him. “Here.”

He looked puzzled.“Hey … I didn’t know you were doing this.” He slid his fingers beneath the paper, and in a matter of seconds he could see what it was. “A scrapbook? Are you serious, Em?”

She’d been working on it every night, long after she would normally be in bed. Even her coach had noticed that she wasn’t as peppy as usual on the practice field. A few weeks before, she’d asked him for a copy of all their photos, the ones he’d been so careful to take ever since the summer began.

He burned the entire file onto a CD, and she’d made two sets of prints. One for herself, and one for him. Now every hour of effort felt more than worth the time. “Your mother told me you like scrapbooks.”

“You talked to my mother?” He ran his fingers over the red linen cover and the photo at the center, one someone had taken of the two of them after her championship soccer game.

“Yeah. That day we went there to walk Buster.” She giggled. “I’m good at secrets.”

“I guess.” He looked at her. “Actually, I’ve never made a scrapbook. I just take the pictures. I sent my mom a ton from my last tour in Iraq, and she put them into a book. Gave it to me that Christmas.” His smile faded. “It was the best gift she’s ever given me.”

“That’s what she said.”

“I can’t believe this …” He opened the book and looked through it, taking time to read the captions she’d written beneath each picture, to admire the time she’d put into decorating each page and creating a theme around each layout. There were pictures of their strolls along Puget Sound, and the one Bo had taken after their basketball game that first time at the teen center. Photos from walking Buster, and of them working side by side at the public information office.

Beneath those, she’d written:
Smooth Talker, indeed.

Another photo showed where Vonda had slipped in behind them, and Emily had written,
Vonda knew before either one of us. And Vonda’s never wrong.

There were pictures of them with their parents taken the weekend of her soccer tournament, and one of him with the teens at the center, and another of him playing cards at a table full of Veterans.

Justin
, she’d written.
You’ll always be my hero. But you’ll always be theirs too.

Slowly, page by page, he worked his way through the book. On the last page, was a picture of the two of them at the end of their hike that day in the foothills of the Cascade Mountains, east of Tacoma.
One thing I ask of you, Justin Baker
, she’d written beneath it.
That whenever I fall, you’ll always be there to catch me.

When he finished, he looked at her, his eyes glistening. “I’ll keep it with me wherever I go.”

“Okay.” She’d created it on lightweight paper, careful to keep the size small enough that it would fit in his backpack. “Every time you look at it, just know that I’m thinking of you, praying for you.” She pointed to the last page and an envelope she’d taped there. “Inside is a letter. You can’t read it until you’re in Iraq.”

“How …” He swallowed hard, and a tear slipped onto his cheek. “How am I ever going to walk away from you at the end of the day?”

“I don’t know.” She pressed her palms to her eyes and tried to stop her own tears from forming. “If you figure it out, tell me, okay?”

They both laughed, and the sound lightened the moment. It was a beautiful day, and but for a six-month stint in Iraq, they had no reason to be sad. Justin wrapped the paper around his scrapbook and tucked it into his backpack. Then his eyes met hers. “My turn.”

She hadn’t given any thought to what he might be doing for her. She’d spent all her energy creating the scrapbook, putting it together and believing that somehow — another world away — it would bring him the strength and determination he needed to keep going, to keep being careful, and to come home again, safe and whole.

Now she wondered what he’d planned for her. She took hold of the bench on either side of her and watched while he lifted a small wrapped rectangular box from his backpack. “Start with this.”

“Justin …” She couldn’t still her racing heart and wondered if maybe she would faint from the mix of joy and impending sorrow. She opened the paper carefully and then lifted the velvet lid of the box beneath it. There, nestled on a piece of satin, was a white gold bracelet with a single heart charm at the center. Her breath caught and she had to work to make herself heard. “It’s … it’s beautiful.”

“Read it.” He pointed to the heart.

She took the bracelet from the box and held it close. On one side of the heart, in delicate engraving, it read,
Justin and Emily.
On the other side, it said only,
Genesis 29.

The memory came back in a rush. The Bible verse he’d read to her the day he got news of his deployment date. He’d written it at the end of several notes since then,
Genesis 29
. She looked at the engraved words now and tried to see them through her tears.

“I meant what I said the first time I read that to you.” He leaned his head against hers, his voice so soft she could barely hear it over the sound of the cruise ship. “I might be going away for six months, Em, but I’ll work my tail off every hour, knowing that nightfall will bring me one day closer to coming home to you.”

She couldn’t speak. She was trembling, overwhelmed by feelings she’d never known before. She handed him the bracelet and held out her wrist so he could place it on her. When it was secure, she looked at it, admiring how it glistened against her tanned skin. “I’ll never take it off.”

“Good.” He sat up straighter and dug back into his backpack. This time the box was longer, but it was wrapped the same way. He handed it to her. “This one means even more.”

She removed the paper and opened it, and inside lay the most delicate white gold necklace, one that matched the bracelet, and at the center, another tiny heart.

He took it gently from her and fastened it around her neck. “It’s belonged to you for a long time now.” He hooked it and then adjusted it so the heart was in the middle. “But this way you know for sure.” His eyes found hers. “My heart belongs to you, Emily. It’ll belong to you forever.”

Joy and sorrow and longing and disbelief all mixed together and swirled inside her. Justin Baker’s heart belonged to her and her alone. She touched the tiny piece of jewelry and then brought her fingers to his face. “It’s perfect.”

“Like you.” He kissed her, and when he pulled away, his eyes danced. “Just one more thing.”

“Justin, you’re spoiling me.” His thoughtfulness was more than she’d ever imagined.

“I figure this is our Christmas.” He reached into the backpack once more and pulled out a bulky, round package. “Here. This one’s a little more practical.”

She laughed and felt the heart on her bracelet jingle as she opened this last gift. Inside was a Starbucks travel mug, one big enough for even a large drink. The outside was a collage of their pictures, the same ones she’d used for his scrapbook. He’d sized them onto a single piece of paper, some large, some small, and he’d printed it off and slipped it inside the plastic casing.

“I know how you like your coffee.” He gave her a quick kiss. “This way you can know that wherever you are when you’re drinking one, I’ll be over there in Iraq drinking something a whole lot more like mud than coffee. And wishing I was here with you instead.”

She studied the pictures, basking in the array of memories they represented. “I love it.”

“And I love you.” He worked his hand around her waist and slid closer to her, kissing her the way she longed to be kissed. Only a few seconds had passed when he pulled back and snapped his fingers. “I almost forgot.” He reached into his backpack one more time and pulled out an envelope. “I wrote this for you. But you can’t read it until I’m gone.”

She took the envelope and pressed it close to her heart. “This might mean more than all the other gifts put together.” She slipped it into her bag, next to the travel mug.

And then, suddenly, they had nothing left ahead of them but good-bye. He took her hands and searched her face. “How’s your dad?”

“Sad.”

“I’ll bet.” He looked out at the water. “And your mom?”

“Busy back at her job. They’re moving the whole
Time
magazine team to a building in Iraq.” She frowned. “Maybe you’ll see her there.”

It was a topic they’d already spent hours talking about. Her mother had called from the airport the day she was leaving for the Middle East. “Honey, I had to tell you before I left. I’m going back to Afghanistan, back to my job writing about the war.”

Emily couldn’t have been more shocked if her mother had said she was moving to the North Pole. “But … you and Dad … you’re getting married in December.”

“No, Emily. We’re not. Not this year, anyway.” Her mother had sighed, and Emily wasn’t sure, but it sounded like she was crying. “I need to see the war again for myself, be there and experience it. Write about it.” She made a little coughing sound. “Maybe I’ll find out that I’ve been wrong about our involvement over there. Or maybe …” She hesitated, her voice tight. “Maybe I’ll find out I’ve been wrong about thinking I could ever make things work with your dad.”

Emily had begged her to change her mind. “Mom, no. Go home and think it through. Remember your journal? All the things you felt for Dad, remember that? You can’t give up now. So what if you don’t agree with him?”