Ever (18 page)

“I’m sorry everything was so horrible,” I retorted. “Thanks for stopping by.” I turned my back on him, even though all I wanted to do was jump into his arms.

Please go. Please go now.

Instead of taking the hint, he took a step closer to me. “Stop it!” he ordered. “I can’t read you at all right now.” He turned away, raking his hand through his hair in a frustrated manner. “You need to let me in. I need to know—”

“I don’t
need
to do anything, Jaren Wilder! Least of all with you!”

He moved so fast I had no time to register what he was doing. His hands were on me, yanking me toward him and then I was in his arms, where my body longed to be even though I resisted him at the same time.

“Let me go!” I demanded.
Hold me.

“Not until you talk to me.”

“I
am
talking to you!”

“You’re not. Not really. You’ve walled yourself off somehow.”

Why did it feel so good to be near him? To have him hold me? He wasn’t fighting fair!

His touch was weakening my resolve. The resistance drained from me like water going down in a tub. Involuntarily, my head turned and my ear settled against his muscular chest. The steady beat of his heart seemed to sing inside my own chest, my racing heart slowing to match his rhythm. My mental barrier dissipated as he held me and I could feel his own energy questing to meet me.

Jaren stiffened as my energy shield came down. He released me and stepped back about a foot. “I’m so sorry,” he said in a voice that sounded almost as anguished as I felt.

“For what?”

“For hurting you. I never meant to.”

“You didn’t.” The lie came out smooth as butter, but both of us knew I wasn’t telling the truth.

“I can feel it. I couldn’t before. But now…I had no idea.”

I shrugged as best I could while in his arms, feeling more humiliated by the second. Great. Now he could read just how much I was into him. And how much it had hurt to be kissed and then rejected by him. Bravely, I tried to act like what had happened was no big deal, hoping I was emitting the corresponding energy. Even though, quite possibly, the kiss was the biggest deal that had ever happened to me.

“You did what you had to do, I guess,” I muttered.

“Ever, listen to me. Yes, I pulled you back from wherever you had gone. And yes, I kissed you to get your attention, but it wasn’t the first time I wanted to. I just…couldn’t think of anything else to do.”

What?

“What? You never noticed the vibe we have?”

Notice? How was I supposed to notice that a super-hot guy like Jaren Wilder wanted to kiss me? It wasn’t like I had ever been kissed before. I had zero experience with the opposite sex, and Jaren was intimidating enough to have as a friend, let alone someone with any other kind of interest in me. What kind of interest could he have anyway? I mean…I was a nobody compared to him.

“You don’t believe me?” he asked gently.

Oh, God. I didn’t know what I felt or thought. He was scrambling my senses again.

“Why did you pull me out of my vision or whatever that was?” I asked, instead of answering his confusing questions.

The teasing expression melted from his face. “You were getting cold. I wasn’t sure what was happening. If you’re away for too long…sometimes you can get lost.”

Lost? Like, lost from my body?
Get a grip, Ever!

“What did you see?” he asked.

“Not enough,” I groused.

“Tell me.”

“Okay,” I sighed, resigning myself to the fact that he wasn’t going anywhere until I talked to him.

“I’m going to chill here, then.”

Darned if he didn’t go right ahead and settle himself on my bed. The sight of tall, blond, Jaren Wilder reclining against my pillows looked so nonsensical that I almost laughed out loud. He took up most of the space and there was no way I was sitting next to him. It was hard enough to think as it was! I managed to drop into my desk chair with some semblance of nonchalance…I hoped.

There’s a guy in my bed. A senior. Jaren Wilder is in my bed. Holy crap!

Focus, Ever!

I managed to get past the fact that Jaren Wilder was lounging around on my sheets. Briefly, I wondered if my pillowcase would smell like him later. I sure hoped so. In a hushed voice, I recounted every detail of my experience, down to the bizarre carousel horse in the crying girl’s room.

“Is there an attunement for astral projection in the book?” Jaren questioned.

“No. I mean—I don’t think so.”

I knew what astral projection was. Gram had a few books about it and I had read through them when I was younger. I had thought I was just having a vision that felt real. Could it have been more than that? Could I have really left my body when I touched The Tree?

“Maybe the tree enhanced your energy or something,” he said, answering my unasked question. “If you were traveling in spirit form, I’m even more glad I anchored you before you touched that tree again. I may have never found you.”

Jaren shook his head as if to remove the worry I sensed coming from him. I still had no idea what exactly he meant by the anchoring business, but if I concentrated, I could almost see the energetic thread that still seemed to connect us. I wondered if it would ever go away or if I would be connected to him forever.

The thought was nice, I had to admit.

After some more discussion, we got to the weird number issue. He agreed with me about the forty-sevens representing a date. We couldn’t think of anything else the number could mean. We even tried Googling it, but nothing else came to light. The number was totally innocuous, except to the crying girl—and now to me.

We puzzled over the seed for a few minutes. We researched images for close to an hour, but we couldn’t find anything that looked like it. Finally, we decided to ask Mr. Hopkins if he knew what it was. Jaren took a picture of the seed with his phone, mumbling that maybe he knew someone else to ask.

We lapsed into silence for a few minutes. “What should we do now?” I asked.

The minute the words were out of my mouth I realized I had asked a loaded question. A guy was lying in my bed like he belonged there.
What should we do now? Really, Ever?
Color rushed into my cheeks and I ducked my head, embarrassed. Why couldn’t I just act cool for once?

“About the crying girl,” I added quickly, but not before I caught the ghost of a smile on Jaren’s mouth.
His beautiful mouth.
Arrgh!

A full-blown grin came across his face as he looked at me, his eyes out of focus in that way that told me he was getting a nice read on my thoughts.
Damn him!

“Let’s sleep on it,” he said, still wearing that killer smile.

Jaren gestured to my bed and I froze. Then he laughed, in that infuriating, teasing way of his, watching my eyes flit across his long, lean body.

“Not together, of course.”

“Uh, no…of course not! That’s not what I was—stop doing that!” I threw my energy cloak up to block him out.

Jaren’s smile faded. “How do you do that?”

“What?”

“Shut me out? No one else can.”

“I don’t know. But I’m glad for it. You don’t play fair!”

“Oh, come on, Ever. Neither do you!”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Just…nothing. Look, come here, okay? I won’t bite. I promise.”

“Why?” I asked, guarded.

Jaren yawned. “Because I’m too tired to get up. What happened up there with you really bothered me. I couldn’t sleep at all. I didn’t mean to hurt you. I would never hurt you, Everleigh.” He held his arms out to me.

It was the sexiest thing I had ever seen. I was obviously having an amazing dream. There was just no way any of this could be real.

“Just a hug, Ever. Then I’ll go. I promise. You can tell me how you do your blocking thing later.”

“Um, sure.” Who was I to deny the hottest guy in school a hug?

I approached my bed, expecting Jaren to sit up, but he didn’t. He just moved one arm behind his head and gestured to the small space left on the mattress. I gulped. He smiled at my hesitation, which fueled me into action. The last thing I needed was Jaren Wilder thinking I was some stupid little kid.

“Come here,” he said.

His voice had changed from teasing to husky and…I wasn’t sure. Tingles exploded in the pit of my belly. I don’t know exactly how it happened but I managed to settle myself next to him without cracking my head on the headboard. Then I was nestled against the length of his body, my head tucked into his armpit. Jaren wrapped both arms around me as I held myself as stiff as a board.

“Relax,” he said softly, and I could practically hear the smile on his face.

I had to consciously force my body to loosen. I was lying in bed with a guy for the first time and I felt so awkward, but at the same time, being next to Jaren felt so…right. My energy barriers came down, like I was shedding an invisible skin. One of his hands stroked through my hair and I felt a deep sigh rumble through his chest.

“That’s better,” Jaren sighed. “Just let me hold you like this for a few minutes, okay?”

“Mmm-hmm.”

If he had asked permission to chop off my arm, I would have happily agreed, as long as I didn’t have to get up. Warmth and contentment mingled with a slow-burning ache that had started to throb between my thighs. I wriggled a little, trying to relieve what felt like an itch. Jaren stilled me, sounding almost pained.

“Please don’t move like that. I can hardly take it as it is.”

I had no idea what he was talking about but I stopped moving. I would stay as still as a statue if I could prolong this experience a second longer. I breathed in boy and sandalwood, hearing an answering sigh issue from Jaren’s lips. I have no idea how long we lay there like that before we fell asleep.

CHAPTER NINETEEN

Omg

A
light sensation on my forehead brought me from a deep sleep back into my room. At first, I wasn’t sure where I was or what was happening. Then I sat straight up to discover Jaren Wilder smiling at me from my desk chair. Memories from the night before came rushing back. I leapt from my bed, too horrified to be concerned about my less than cute appearance or my morning breath.

“Shit! We fell asleep! My mom!”

“She’s up. I smell coffee.” He sniffed appreciatively, unaware of my abject terror.

“You need to go!”

Oh my God, how was I supposed to explain myself when my mom caught me with a boy in my room? Oh my God, I had a boy in my room! And he had spent the night. In my bed. I had slept with a boy in my bed. I started hyperventilating.

Jaren chuckled. “Okay, okay. I’m going. Text me later. I put my number into your phone.”

Before I knew what he was about, he pulled me into his arms. His warm breath tickled my ear and a flash of burning heat seared down my body to settle in my core. He dropped a kiss on my cheek, like it was the most normal thing in the world to do. As if I had ever been in this situation before! Sneaking a boy out of my room? My mirrored closet doors offered a reflection for me to witness my own beet-red cheeks and open-mouthed look of shock as Jaren tucked his white-blond hair into his hoodie and hopped out my window gracefully. My window screen appeared and he managed to pop it back in from the outside.

“See you later, sweetheart.” Then he was gone.

Sweetheart?

I fell back into bed, partly because I was worried I was going to faint with shock. My heart was pounding so hard it felt like it might jump out of my chest. I grabbed my phone and scrolled through my contacts, verifying that I was now the unlikely recipient of Jaren Wilder’s digits. A second later, my phone buzzed with a text and I almost dropped. My breath hitched in my throat as I read the message.

I enjoyed sleeping with you.
:)

* * *

I dozed, daydreamed, and ate most of Sunday away in a daze. I was exhausted—and mega-confused. Everything that had happened was on replay in my mind. I slept like a rock that night and made through half of the school day before I had to talk to anyone. Even though I wanted to be alone, I found myself at the top of the stairs for lunch. I hadn’t texted Jaren, but my phone sat in the outer pocket of my backpack, the weight of it tempting me to contact him. But…I had no idea what to say.

If things were different, I could have gleefully reported these happenings to my small circle of friends. Giggling, we could have devised the perfect text to send to my new…friend. Things just weren’t that way for me. I now understood the energy power plays that were going on, and I didn’t want to incite Val’s wrath by telling her what had happened between Jaren and me. There was no way I was going to tell anyone what was going on with the energy or anything else, either. I would be catapulted into Psycho status so fast that I would wonder what hit me. So, I pulled it together and tried to act like everything was fine.

But it wasn’t. Nothing was the same at all, and I was beginning to think it never would be again.

Naomi was the first to arrive at our lunch spot. “Hey, Ever!” she said brightly. “I was so tired last night! Barely got out of bed all day.”