Even When You Lie to Me (21 page)

“Come on, get off,” I heard her say, but Sean grabbed her again and the crowd laughed. “You love it,” he said. He let go and she bolted, and he chased her backward out of the line until he caught her from behind and swung her around as she kicked and squirmed like an upturned beetle.

There was only one ride attendant, a college-aged guy with a long greasy sweep of hair, who sat behind a scratched-plastic booth, watching them with a bored expression. He looked like he saw this a lot.

I glanced at Drummond, who didn’t seem amused anymore. “Sean,” he said, “Katie clearly doesn’t want to be held. Please put her down.”

“Sorry,” Sean said, but he was smirking.

Dev and I were up next. I stood back a little as a car full of laughing, dazed-looking kids clattered into the landing area. Once the riders had unbuckled themselves, the barriers opened and we were allowed on. Dev and I got into the two seats at the back and strapped ourselves in.

Sean moved toward the front car, dragging Katie after him. “Don’t even try it,” he said as she squirmed. He lifted her so she was tucked under his arm like a package. She shrieked as he carried her toward the car.

“Sean!” Drummond said. “What did I tell you, man? Put her down,
now.
” He stepped out of the line and stood in front of the car, blocking Sean from it.

Sean stopped. His expression darkened. “When did you turn into a narc?” he muttered, and put her down. He walked back toward the line, shaking his head at Drummond.

Katie wobbled as she regained her footing. She was breathing hard, but she smiled at Sean and then at the crowd.

Suddenly Sean spun toward her again. The crowd whooped as she realized he was coming after her. She screamed again, and a ghost of it echoed in the loading area. She was standing in front of the car next to Drummond now, and I worried Sean would barrel into her and knock her into the row of empty seats. Sean was only a few feet away when Drummond stepped in front of her and directly into Sean’s path. He took the impact on his shoulder, so when Sean hit him, he only had to step back to keep his balance, but Sean slewed to one side, stumbled toward the car, and nearly hit his head on the upraised safety harness of one of the bucket seats.

“Jesus Christ!” he yelled. Suddenly the loading area was silent except for his voice. “What the hell, Drummond?”

“Sean,” Drummond said, “go back to the bus.”

“You nearly put me in a coma,” Sean said, rubbing his head at the site of the phantom injury.

“You nearly assaulted your classmate,” Drummond said. “Since you’re unable to handle the privilege of being here, you need to leave.”

Sean didn’t move. “Fag,” he muttered.

“Leave, Sean,” Drummond said. “Now.”

Sean said, “Fuck this,” and shoved his way to the exit.

Katie hugged herself and tottered toward the group of kids. Drummond stepped forward, and she shied from him and said loudly, “I didn’t need your help!” He moved back, looking flustered, as she followed Sean outside.

Finally the attendant came out from his booth, where he’d been watching the whole thing with an expression of detached amusement, and said, “Everyone okay?”

“Yes,” Drummond said. “I’m sorry for the, uh, excitement.”

The attendant shrugged and turned to the rest of us. “Can everyone who’s going on the ride please get in and everyone who’s not get behind the barriers? We’re experiencing a little bit of a backup here.”

Drummond ushered a couple of people into seats. Frank tried to grab his arm as he went past, and said, “Come on, want to go?”

Drummond still looked annoyed. “Thanks, but I’ll pass, Frank,” he said. He leapt over the barriers and into the group of kids, where everyone crowded around, wanting to talk, to touch him.

Dev and I sat in silence for a minute, watching him. Finally Dev said, “You okay?”

I glanced at him and shook my head. Then I looked down and saw that he was gripping the handles on his safety harness.

I took in a breath. “Don’t worry,” I said. “I won’t puke.”

He laughed uncertainly. As the ride started I grabbed his hand and squeezed it. He smiled at me and I smiled back, and it was only as we came to the drop that I raised my arms and let go.

Everyone started drinking as soon as we got to the hotel. I’d brought one of the Austen books my mother had given me and decided to start it in the hour before we had to get ready for dinner, but Lila dragged me down a floor into Jason’s room, where a bunch of people had gathered. They were stuffed in, spilling onto the two twin beds and draped over the toilet. Someone had smuggled in speakers, and music warbled out, tinny and thumping.

Lila led me over to Jason. “Remember Charlie?” she said.

Jason grinned at me. “Hey, Chuck!”

“It’s
Charlie,
” I said. I wasn’t usually so brave, but Lila’s frequent tales of Jason’s idiocy had made it seem like I knew him. I felt a fierce wave of protectiveness toward the name: Drummond had given it to me, and this clown wasn’t allowed to use it.

“Sure, sure, Charlie,” he said. “I can’t believe we haven’t hung out before now. It’s been, like, five months.”

“It’s almost like Charlie deliberately turns down invitations that involve you,” Lila said, smiling sweetly.

I glared at her. “Five months, huh? I guess you guys are official, then?”

Jason laughed and squeezed her shoulders. “Lila gets to decide those things. She’s the smart one. Aren’t you, Stanford?”

She gave him the finger. “I haven’t gotten in yet.”

“Ah, Lila’s not that smart,” I said. “She just likes feeling superior to people.”

Jason’s face lit up and he held out his hand for a high five. I stared at it and then tentatively touched his palm. It was hot. “She did well picking me, then. Didn’t you, Boorman?”

Lila grimaced. “A) Screw you both. B) It’s not hard feeling superior to this dumbass.”

Jason kissed her on the temple. “You’re a good kid,” he said. She narrowed her eyes, but I could see she was pleased. I realized that I was smiling at them.

“Lila,” said one of the girls, “what were you going to tell me about Sean?”

“Oh my God,” Lila said as if she’d just been waiting for an opportunity to tell them whatever the gossip was. She pulled Jason behind her—he waved and gave me a last golden retriever smile, and I laughed and waved back—and they all wandered off in a huddle, giggling.

Now that they were gone, I had no one to talk to. The heat was uncomfortable, the result of the endless friction of bodies touching, rubbing, talking. I looked around to see if Asha would rescue me, but I couldn’t find her anywhere. Of course she wouldn’t be invited to a party like this. I glanced at Lila, who was deep in conversation with a pack of girls, and decided she wouldn’t miss me.

I escaped into the hall, which was covered in peeling wallpaper and pocked with water stains. I went to our floor and found Asha’s room.

“Hey,” I said when she opened the door. “Want to take a walk?”

“Please,” she said. “Where are we going?”

“Somewhere that I can’t hear someone puking every five minutes,” I said.

The hotel was moored in the middle of an expanse of Tarmac, but behind it was a long stretch of woods. The path at the edge looked like it had been used recently. I pointed to it silently and Asha nodded.

“Where’s Dev?” I said after a minute.

“Out with Frank and those guys,” she said.

“No invite for you?”

“Kind of a guys-only thing. Plus I think he’s kind of sick of me.”

“Sick of you?” I said. “No, I doubt that.”

She smiled. “I think maybe we’ve…I don’t know, maybe we rely on each other too much.” I thought she might say more, but she went silent.

“Sorry if…,” I said.

“No, it’s okay,” she said, but she didn’t say anything else. Eventually we had to climb over a big log to follow the path. Asha’s shoe caught on a branch and I steadied her by the elbow so she wouldn’t fall.

“Thanks,” she said. She paused. “I think he…you know, we’ve always been close, obviously, because we’re twins and because we moved around so much. But he and I didn’t apply to any of the same colleges, which I thought was just an accident, but…I don’t know, I just get the feeling he’s trying to push me away.”

“Dude, I just left a party where Lila ditched me for a bunch of cool kids,” I said. “I know the feeling.”

“Yeah, but we’re family, you know? I realize it happens, but I think I wouldn’t mind as much if I had other…” She trailed off.

“I bet you do,” I said. I stared down at the budding flowers at the edge of the path so I wouldn’t have to look at her.

She didn’t say anything back, and we walked in silence down a small hill. The path narrowed and Asha’s shoulder bumped mine, once and then again. I felt a laugh bubbling up in me.

“What?” Asha said.

“Nothing,” I said. “I just…How stupid do Lila and I sound when we talk about Drummond?”

“Like on a scale of one to ten?”

“God, are we that bad?”

“Nah,” she said. “It’s just silly sometimes. You know, like all crushes are.”

“You think it’s silly?”

“I don’t think
you’re
silly,” she said. “Him, well…”

I snorted. “Thanks.”

“Just him and his little cult of personality is so ridic—” She looked at me. “Sorry. I just think there are nice guys our own age.”

“Name one.”

She paused.

“Yeah,” I said.

She laughed. “What about Dev? I mean, I hate him, obviously, but…”

I laughed too. “I’m glad you think he’d be interested.”

“Why wouldn’t he be?” she said.

I shook my head. I didn’t want to run down the list of reasons.

“I wouldn’t say it if I didn’t think it was a possibility,” she said.

“All right,” I said, but I didn’t believe her.

We walked in silence for a while longer. The path was cool and stippled with shade. I felt better now that we were outside, away from the crush of people.

“Just be careful, okay?” Asha said finally.

“You don’t trust him?”

“No,” she said, “I don’t trust you.”

I shoved her and she laughed.

The path veered sharply and ramped up a little hill, and then the woods opened onto a clearing that shuddered with waist-high grass. It looked like the surface of a lake, unstable and rippling. At the end of the meadow the ground sloped away into a valley ridged with soft hills like knuckles. The sun was fat and blurred at the edges, and it was so low that it skimmed the trees, which were stubbled with new blossoms.

“Should have brought my camera,” Asha said.

I realized with a start that Drummond was sitting at the edge of the clearing. He was on a bench, but the grass had grown up around it so it was half hidden.

“Hey,” I said as we walked up beside him.

He turned as if he’d been expecting us. “Hey,” he said. “I was just trying to figure out how to write a poem about this sunset without using the word
limned.
”

I moved to sit on the ground but he got up and said, “You guys have the bench. I can commune with nature.” He found a large rock near our feet—my shoes nearly touched him—and settled himself on it. The breeze ruffled his unruly hair, and golden filaments of grass shivered behind him. He looked like he was in an old overlit photograph, warm with age. None of us spoke as we stared at the sky.

“You guys doing okay?” he said after a minute. “It seemed chaotic in there when I was doing my round of bedroom checks.”

“Yeah,” Asha said. “We both just needed a break.”

“Likewise,” he said. “I warned Papakostas he might need to break up a party or two. But if you need someone to crack some skulls, I’m always available.”

“You’ve done that a lot?”

“Not as such,” he said. “But I’m really good at opening jars.”

Asha laughed. I was pleased; she hardly ever laughed at his jokes. “Same principle?”

“Yes, and usually much less messy.” He turned to me. “You’re quiet. You need any skulls cracked?”

I had to look down before I could answer him. “Sean’s, maybe.”

“Ah,” he said. “You heard about that?”

“I was there,” I said.

He frowned. I couldn’t tell if he was upset that I had seen it or that it had happened at all. “I’m sorry about that,” he said. “I didn’t mean to get so…forceful.”

“It’s okay. I liked seeing your action-man side. You almost did give him a skull cracking.”

He shook his head. “I overreacted.”

“He was taunting you,” I said.

“It didn’t matter. I shouldn’t have let it get to that point.”

“He’s the one who wanted you to go on it in the first place. They all did. It’s not your fault people like you.”

“Hmm,” he said. He stared at the rock he was sitting on, where he was absentmindedly scratching away at some moss.

I didn’t know what to say in the silence. “It was weird, though, right?” I said eventually.

He laughed. “Yes,” he said. “It was.”

“What happened to Sean?”

“He’s spending the evening in his room with a chaperone.”

“Who?”

“Ms. Anders,” he said.

“Ha!” I said. When he glanced up, I said, “Sorry. Just an odd pair.”

He cocked an eyebrow at me. After a few minutes he said, “You guys know it’s not always going to be like this, right?”

“It’s still like this for you,” I said.

A frown flicked across his face. “No, it’s— That’s not—”

“Chuck!”

“Great,” I said.

“Who is—” Asha said, turning to see. “Oh.”

Lila was bounding across the field with a demented gleam in her eye. As much as I hated to admit it, she looked beautiful, her hair spilling out behind her, her whole face a grin, her body bronzed by a corona of sunlight. She was carrying a blue sports bottle in one
hand—presumably
the source of her energy.

“Charlie!” she shouted as she got closer. “Charlie, guess— Oh.” She pulled up short as she noticed Asha. “Hi.” Then she noticed Drummond, and she beamed. “Well, hello to you too.”

“Perfect,” I muttered.

She heaved up next to me like a boat coming in to dock too fast and pasted her arms around mine. “Why did you leave? I thought we were having fun.”

I tried to draw back but she clung to me. “I just needed a break,” I said.

“From
me
?” she said, exaggerating a pout.

“From everyone,” I said. “Are you okay? You look like you need a nap. Why don’t we—”

“Oh, please, I’m fine. So guess what?” She said it in a drunken shout of a whisper. I heard Drummond make a sound between a sigh and a laugh behind me.

“Are you sure you want to say whatever it is right now?”

She looked dubiously at Asha and then leered at Drummond. “I’ll be quiet,” she said loudly. “Anyway, he won’t mind.
She
might.”

Asha and Drummond exchanged amused looks.

“So what is it?”

Lila leaned in close, bumping into my ear. Her breath was sticky with heat and alcohol. “I’m gonna have sex.”

“You’re
what
?” I said, pulling away from her.

“Shhh!” Lila said. “I thought we were supposed to be discreet.” She grinned at Drummond again, then took a sip from her sports bottle. She offered it to me and I shook my head.

“Are you sure? Is this with Jason?”

“Of course it’s with Jason. I’m not a slut.” She dragged out the
s
as if she were pressing an accelerator.

“I wasn’t saying you were!” I said, much too loudly. I glanced at Asha, who was pretending not to listen, and lowered my voice. “I just…You don’t even like Jason half the time.”

“I like him,” she said. “I like him more than I like you right now.”

“Nice.”

She kissed me on the cheek with a wet smack. “Sorry, that was mean,” she said. “I do love you, Chuck. Almost as much as he does.” She inclined her head toward Drummond.

“Shut up!” I said.

“Oh God, everyone knows you love each other,” she whispered, leaning close to my ear again. “Look at you out here watching the sunset together.”

“Asha’s here,” I said.

“Hmm. I bet she’s contributing a lot.”

“Lila.”

“Charlotte,”
she said. “We’re getting off the point. Jason’s going to fuck me and I’m going to get it over with.”

“Lila,” I said. “Please listen to me for a second. Are you sure you want it to happen like this? I’m not trying to judge, I promise. I just don’t want you to do anything you’ll regret.”