Even In Darkness (Between) (8 page)

I had visions of him tossing a dirty wad of bandages at Aiden and calling it good. What had I done?

“
My word is of greater value to me than that. I shall honor the spirit of my promise and not merely the letter as you have done. The prisoner will be cared for as though he were one of my own men. And while I cannot guarantee that he will not expire from his wounds—you said yourself that they are substantial—I can promise you this.” Something dark and dangerous moved behind his eyes, a terrible, magnetic force that pulled at me. Fear skittered down my spine, along with something that was not quite fear—excitement, maybe? What was that about? I couldn’t make sense of it, so I chose to ignore it. Eagan feathered his fingertip across my lips. My skin burned under his touch. “Our next negotiation will not end in a similar fashion,” he said, a velvet voice over steel. “Do we understand one another?”

I wouldn’t give him the
satisfaction of a response, so I lifted my chin and doled out a haughty stare instead. His dark brown eyes held mysteries in their depths. There was more going on here than I understood, and it frightened me more than I wanted to admit. Hating myself, I broke contact first and looked away.

“There is the matter of my coat. I should like it returned,” he said, snapping me out of my thoughts.
My gaze flicked over the deck of the ship, taking in the working men, knowing that his coat was keeping them from staring at my chest. Hesitantly, I started to shrug out of his jacket, but he stopped me.

“Not here, woman.”
He breathed an exasperated sigh. “You’ll go to my quarters and retrieve your corset. Stanton will send in your kin to assist you in dressing. Bring the coat back to me when you’re properly attired.”

Apparently, we were finished because he turned and walked off, leaving me standing alone on the deck,
staring after him like a reprimanded child.

Not knowing what else to do,
I stomped off toward his room, irritated that he’d given me orders and I was following them. Once there, I found the damn corset right where I’d left it, flung into the corner like a dead bat, wings going every which way. I snatched it up off the floor and hugged it to my chest, wishing I could rein in my emotions the way this piece of cloth and whalebone reined in the flesh.

None of this made any sense. Instinctively, I knew I was in Between, but it wasn’t the same as the last time I’d been here. Everything was turned upside down.
The offspring of a hell transporter and a heaven transporter will rule the realm in Between.
Mona’s words echoed in my head. Did ruling the realm mean he could keep me from casting? From speaking to Aiden in my head? Could he erase Aiden’s memories of me? And why would he want to? What was he trying to accomplish? Questions and theories circled in my head like a dog chasing its tail.

I sat on the edge
of the bed and clenched my skirt in my lap. My grip on sanity was starting to slip away. Helplessness bore down on me with a leaden weight. A teardrop streaked down my cheek, but I hastened to wipe it away as the door opened. Willie stood in the entryway, looking like a spooked rabbit ready to bolt at any second. Though I knew he was twelve years old, he looked so small at that moment.

“You can come in,” I said softly, so as not to startle him.

“Right,” he said, almost to himself, then crossed the room to stand as far away from me as possible.

“The captain sent you to help me put on my corset, I guess. I can’t get the damn thing on myself.”

His eyes widened briefly, then narrowed. “Ladies dinna swear. And ye have them all thinking you’re a lady married to my brother.” The frightened child disappeared as his belligerent Scottish heritage took over. “Why? What have ye done with him? They willna let me see him!” His face clearly stated this was all my fault. And as much as I hated to admit it, he was right.

“I’m sorry. I just...” The words fell away. Sorry for what? For swearing, for getting us killed and dumped into a realm ruled by some psycho, for forcing him help me get dressed? Yes, all of the above, I supposed. “They’re keeping Aiden locked up with the animals below
deck. I’ve...uh, made arrangements to have a doctor take care of his wounds.” I cleared my throat, thinking about the precarious position I was putting myself in, bartering with the captain. Still, I couldn’t see any way around it. Whatever it cost me, Aiden was more important.

Squaring my shoulders, I declared, “He’s going to be
all right.” Maybe if I said it with enough confidence, I could convince myself it was true.

Willie let my words sink in for a beat. “I need to see him. Can ye take me to him?”

I pictured Callison in my mind: meaty arms crossed over his chest, the sparse hair on his head sticking out in all directions as he blocked our entrance. No, I wasn’t sure he’d even let me back in without express permission from the captain, let alone Willie.

“I don’t think—” I began, but Willie cut me off.

“Ye must!” he snapped before his lip started to quiver and he burst into tears. “He...Aiden...I...” His skinny shoulders shook with sobs, breaking my heart in two.

I crossed the room and pulled him into a hug. He didn’t resist.

“’Tis my fault.” His small voice was muffled against my chest. “He gave me the dirk. I was supposed to kill the soldiers and guard the door. I couldna do it. When I heard them coming, I ran like the coward I am.”

“No! You’re not a coward.” What was with these MacRae boys anyway, thinking they had no righ
t to be afraid? It was crazy. I’d had to beat some sense into Aiden over this same thing and now I had to do it with Willie as well.

His voice broke as he snuffled against me. “Aiden willna want to see me anyway, so ashamed he’ll be of what I’ve done.”

I grasped him by the shoulders and pulled him up so he had to face me. “Nonsense. Your brother loves you and there’s nothing in the world you could ever do to change that. What happened wasn’t your fault. It wasn’t anyone’s fault.”

A black scowl appeared on his face, his eyes flicking to the door.
“’Twas their fault, the bloody redcoats. They destroyed my home, they killed my mother...” He bit his quivering lip at the thought of her, then he squared his shoulders and stood up straight. “I willna let them take Aiden, too. They mean to hang him! And they said I’d be going to the gallows with him if n’ I didn’t play nice and tend the sails of this blasted ship.” His red rimmed eyes burned with defiance. “Well, to hell with them! I’ll not be made a coward again. If Aiden goes, I go. And ye can tell the captain I said as much!”

“You’re only t
welve years old!” A vision popped into my head of his slender frame swinging from the end of a rope, his lifeless hands hanging by his sides. A shudder ran through my blood.

“
I’m nearly thirteen,” he replied, like that mattered.

“Not until October.”
I jumped to my feet, ignoring the look on his face that clearly said ‘How the hell do you know that?’

“
Wait just a minute, okay?” I stalled, totally making things up on the fly. “What if... What if I could keep him from being hanged? What if I could save him?”

Willie gave me a suspicious glare. “And how would ye do that?”

I had no idea if it would work, but I couldn’t see any other way. The very idea made my stomach clench with revulsion, but if Willie was going to be brave, dammit, so would I.

“The captain.
He... likes me.”

Even at twelve
years old, Willie understood the meaning behind my words. His eyes slid away from mine. “You’re offering to trade your body for my brother’s life.”

God, when he put it like that... Swallowing hard, I nodded.

“Why?” His question lingered in the air, thick with distrust and hope.

“Because I love him.”
There was no other way to put it.

Willie
turned and stared at me for what felt like an eternity. Voice laced with equal parts suspicion and awe, he asked again, “Who are ye?”

Damn, I was so sick of that question. “I already told you. I’m his wife. And if you want to keep your brother alive, you’ll accept that.
I’ll tell you all about it someday, but for right now, if anyone asks you about it, especially Aiden, you’ll tell them I’m your sister in law. You got that?”

His eyes widened at the vehemence in my tone, but he nodded.

“Good. Now help me put this freaking corset on so I can get the hell out of this room and figure out what we’re going to do next.”

Chapter 8

Callison blocked my way once I’d made it down the stairs to the pit where they were holding Aiden. “And where do ye think you’re going?” he said. Spittle flew out of his mouth on the word “think” because of his missing teeth,
completely skeeving me out, but I pushed it aside and glared at him.

“Let me in.”

His belly jiggled up and down with laughter. “Ah, can’t do that. Captain’s orders. No one in or out without his permission.”

“
I’ll tell you where you can shove the captain’s orders. Now open the damn door!” When he didn’t budge, my eyes darted around the dark hallway, looking for something I could beat him over the head with. Even if I couldn’t knock him out cold and get the door open, it sure would feel good to hit something. But the hall was deserted except for the chair beside Callison and the oil lamp above it. Maybe I could knock the lamp off the wall and light him on fire, I thought grimly, but then the fire would spread and how would that help Aiden?

Okay, wow, I’m really losing it,
I realized, since I was debating the merits of burning down the whole damn ship. Taking a deep breath, I started to turn away and head back up the stairs to find the captain, but was saved when the door opened from the inside. A tall man with thick grey hair and bushy eyebrows ducked under the low doorframe and stepped into the hallway. The look on his face filled my stomach with dread.

Callison addressed the man with a bright smile.
“And how is the prisoner holding up, doc? Sounded like ye were killing ‘im in there!”

I’d
never wanted to hurt another person so much in my entire life.

“He’s not well,” the doctor replied
, his eyebrows drawn together in censure. Then he saw me. He stood up straighter, his head nearly reaching the ceiling, his presence seeming to suck the air out of the narrow hall. “Lady MacRae, I presume?” When I nodded, he turned to Callison and said, “The captain has given express permission for Mrs. MacRae to tend to the prisoner, to come and go as she desires.”

The fierce sense of victory that spiked within me cooled instantly at his next words.

“I fear you may not have long, my lady, as your husband is not likely to make it through the night. His injuries are substantial and there remains a significant risk of infection.” His mouth turned down in professional sympathy before he nodded to me and strode away. I stood rooted to the floor, staring dumbly after him.

“Well go on in, then, why don’t ye?” Callison’s bark snapped me to attention.
A thousand nasty retorts fought their way to my lips, but I swallowed them down. I didn’t have time to stand out here and trade insults with this dickhead.

I pressed the door open and let my eyes adjust to the darkness. The humid stench of animal waste rushed to consume me. Breathing through my mouth, I stepped toward the figure that was hunched over in the corner.

“Aiden?” I said, loud enough to be heard over the squawking chickens in their pens. Reaching out to sweep the sweat-soaked hair off his brow, I tried again. “Aiden, sweetie, can you hear me?”

He came alive
with a jerk, his eyes wildly scanning the room but landing on nothing.

“
It’s okay, it’s okay. It’s just me, Lindsey.”

His brow wrinkled in confusion. “Lindsey?” His
gaze was unfocused, his eyes clouded with pain. Worry sliced through me.

“I’m here, baby. You’re going to be okay. The doctor said you’re through the worst of it and you should start feeling better soon.”

He let his head fall back against the wall and closed his eyes. “I know what you’re trying to do, but ye can save your breath. I’m done for.” His voice was reed-thin and hoarse.

“Don’t say that! You
’re going to make it, I promise. And I won’t leave your side. I’m here. I’m not going anywhere. We’ll get through this together.” Tears stung the backs of my eyes, but I blinked them away and squeezed his hand.

Minutes passed where neither of us moved at all. I bowed my head and prayed out loud, asking God to help us out of this crazy mess, to heal Aiden’s wounds, and to show us what we should do. When I said “amen,” the light squeeze of Aiden’s fingers on mine
brought a flicker of hope to life in my chest.

The doctor left a
bundle of cloths for bandages and a mortar and pestle with some kind of dark green, grassy smelling concoction that I supposed was a poultice. I’d read a historical romance novel once where the heroine had to nurse the hero with this stuff, but I had no idea what I was doing. A flask lay beside the small pile of supplies. I knew without even having to open the cap that it was whisky to help numb the pain. A pang of guilt snuck up on me as I realized the captain had kept his promise of getting Aiden medical attention, even though I’d only given him a quick peck on the lips. Of course, we wouldn’t be in this situation at all if it weren’t for him, so I didn’t feel bad for long. Blood was already starting to seep through Aiden’s bandages, even though the doctor hadn’t been gone more than fifteen minutes. The pile he’d left wouldn’t last through the night. I debated going upstairs for a bowl of clean water to rinse the bandages, but I didn’t want to leave his side.

The air in the dark, dingy room seemed to cling to me like a turtleneck
two sizes too small. Stretching my shoulders, I tried to shake it off, but the fug was persistent and close. A fierce desire to rescue Aiden from this hell hole gripped me, but I knew there was nothing I could do. Even if I tried bartering with the captain, there was no way he’d let Aiden out into the fresh air. To him, Aiden was nothing more than a murderer, a traitor. In a fit of desperation, I tried casting again, but nothing happened. I knew it wouldn’t, but I had to try. I’d never felt more helpless in my life.

The hours stretched on until I’d completely lost my sense of time.
Anxiety chewed at my gut, but eventually even that subsided until only numbness remained. Aiden slept fitfully beside me, moaning in his sleep, mumbling words in Gaelic that I couldn’t make out. When his bandages became completely soaked through, I changed them for new ones until my stockpile was gone. I even patted some of the herbal poultice over his wounds, hoping that I was doing it right. During one of his more coherent moments, he tried taking a sip of whiskey, but promptly spit it back up, coughing and wheezing in a way that scared the living crap out of me. My voice grew hoarse from trying to convince the both of us that he would be fine, lies that grew more and more hollow as one hour blended into the next.

At some point, I must have fallen asleep because I woke to Aiden’s delirious cries. Adrenaline shot through me at the sound. My heart flipped into my throat while my brain frantically tried to catch up.
He was burning hot and soaked clear through with sweat.

Shit, he’s got a raging fever. Just like the doctor predicte
d.

“Willie!
Oh God, no!” Aiden thrashed on the floor, then curled into a fetal position. His eyes rolled back in his head, then snapped open as he cried out in anguish. “What have I done? Willie!”

My heart was cracking in two, but I had to be strong. This was so not the time to lose it.

“He’s okay, Aiden! Willie’s fine. He’s here. He’s on the boat, I swear.” I tried to calm him down, but he was beyond comprehension, hands reaching out to grasp the ghost of his brother.

Stringing together ev
ery curse word I could think of—knowing Aiden couldn’t hear me anyway—I stomped over to the door and found it unlocked. Wrenching it open, I saw Callison asleep in his chair like the completely incompetent guard he was. With a hard smack upside his head, I yelled, “Hey! Wake up!” He snorted and fell over, bringing the chair crashing down beside him. Bending down, I yanked the dagger at his belt out of its sheath and grabbed his shirt in my fist. “Go get his brother and bring him down here right now or so help me God, I will kill you. Do you understand me?” My voice had taken on a feral, vicious quality that I didn’t recognize, but I didn’t care. I was in kill-or-be-killed mode at this point and I had no doubt I could take on the fat bastard in my current state. Callison scooted away from me, eyeing the knife I’d stolen, then took off down the hallway. “And tell him to bring some water!” I screamed after him. I had no idea if he’d follow through on my demands, but I couldn’t leave Aiden.

The adrenaline spike I’d felt in threatening Callison wore off too soon, leaving me light headed and shak
y. I righted the chair and propped open the doorway with it, thankful for the meager light and stirring of air that it supplied. Sweat dripped between my breasts, which were still squeezed too tightly in my rigid corset. My skirts were so heavy, they felt like children pulling at my legs. Crossing the room to Aiden, I took a slug of the whisky from his flask, since he wasn’t using it anyway. The raw alcohol seared a path down my throat and pooled in my chest, but it wasn’t long before the panic scraping at my insides started to subside. I took another swig just for good measure and sat down next to Aiden.

Oh God, what do I do now?
I prayed for the hundredth time. A melody bubbled up from my subconscious, a song Aiden had written for my birthday. Softly, I began to sing, more as a way to keep my mind off of his agony, than with any real hopes of soothing him.

God stretched out His hand

Created heavens and the
Earth

He set the sun and moon aglow

Made the ocean, sea and firth

To my amazement, Aiden stilled at the sound of me singing, ceasing his endless thrashing and moaning. The stricken lines of his brow smoothed and softened as I continued.

Creatures of every shape and size

Filled the water and the land

And when He saw that it was good

He gave it to one man

Hope blossomed within me and I sang
out stronger, lightly running my fingertips over his skin in hopes of cooling him down.

“Lindsey,” he
said, his voice hoarse and desperate.

“I’m here, baby. I’ll never leave you.” I pressed my lips to his temple, wincing at the heat that radiated from him.
“Tha gaol agam ort, mo chridhe.”
I told him I loved him in his native tongue and knew he understood when his lip began to quiver. Though his eyes were closed, he reached out and took my hand, then brought it to his mouth.

“Tapadh leat,”
he replied. “Thank you.” When he opened his eyes, he stared at me with an expression I could not read. Wonder, perhaps, mixed with grief. “You don’t understand… I can’t… I have to…” he rambled incoherently, tears coursing over his cheeks as his eyes begged me to forgive him for I-don’t-know-what.

“Shhh…” I said, stroking the dampened hair from his temple. “Save your strength. Just rest now.” With a barely perceptible nod, he closed his eyes and let his body relax into sleep.

His brother appeared at the door sometime later, arms laden with a bowl of water and a supply of fresh bandages.

“Willie! Oh, thank God. I could kiss you!” I said, jumping up to take the bowl from his hands. His eyes were riveted on the sunken form of his brother. Tears sprang to his eyes, but simply shimmered there, never falling over his cheeks.

“Am I too late, then?” he asked in a shaken voice.

“No!” I rushed to correct him. “He’s sleeping now. The fever’s had him up all night. Half the time, he doesn’t even know where
he is, but he’s been calling for you.”

Willie swallowed hard, s
pearing me with a helpless look.

“Go, sit with him. Let him hear your voice.” I gave him a gentle nudge and he nodded, crossing the room to sit with Aiden.

“Right, then.  Aiden, it’s Willie. I…” With a quick glance at me, he switched to Gaelic. The tears that had pooled in his eyes sprang free and coursed down his face as the words tumbled out of his mouth. I didn’t catch most of what he said, but one phrase he repeated throughout was something I recognized:
Tha mi duilich.
‘I’m sorry.’

When he finished and sat quietly sobbing at his brother’s side, I settled down next to him and laid my hand on his arm. “It’s not your fault, Willie. None of this is your fault. Aiden loves you and I know you love him
, too. Please don’t blame yourself. He’s…” I was going to say that he would be okay, but one look at Aiden, and even I couldn’t bring myself to say the words. “Thank you for bringing the water and bandages,” I said instead, then busied myself with changing the coverings over his wounds and mopping his brow.

For the first time, I was thankful for the background noise the animals
provided because otherwise, we would have just sat in uncomfortable silence. Neither of us wanted to leave, but short of using the cloths to try and cool Aiden’s skin, there wasn’t much we could do but wait.

Willie brought out a gold pocket watch and played with it, letting the chain fall through his fingers again and again. “This belonged to my father. ‘Tis all I have of him.
I’ve heard it said he was a good man, but I never met him. Died afore I was born.”