Even Angels Fall (22 page)

Abbey rolls over in the large, double bed and stretches her arm out, searching for Alex. Her eyes flicker open in confusion when she is met by a cold, empty space where he should be sleeping and she sits up, feeling a little disorientated. It is obviously still early as it is pitch black outside and she can hear nothing but the soft hum of the occasional passing car from the road below. She flicks on the lamp and rubs her eyes, gathering one of Alex’s shirts from the floor and hastily throwing it over her shoulders. She fastens the middle three buttons and tiptoes across the hallway, mindful of Tom asleep in the next room as she carefully opens the living room door.

Bursts of colour illuminate the darkness, as scenes from an old martial arts film flash across the TV screen. Alex sits alone, resting a bottle of beer in his lap as he stares at the muted movie, unable to switch off and stop himself from thinking about the earlier conversation and the impending raid. It had broken his heart to ask his friends to stoop so low, and the feelings of guilt and self-loathing are beginning to surface. Abbey stifles a yawn as she approaches the back of the sofa and gently runs her fingers through Alex’s hair.

“What time is it?” She asks.

“A little after 3am…” He takes a sip of his drink and looks down at the floor. It isn’t unusual for Alex to be up so late but Abbey can see that something is clearly troubling him and after the events of earlier that day, it doesn’t take a genius to figure out what. She moves round to the front of the sofa and sits down by his side, tucking her legs beneath her as she strokes his face lightly. He closes his eyes at her touch and sighs.

“You’re worried…”

“There’d be something seriously wrong if I wasn’t…” He states, leaning his head back and staring up at the ceiling, “I just don’t know if this is right, dragging them into my fucking problems, asking them to get involved… what kind of friend does that make me?”

“When you’re in trouble you’re friends are the people you turn to…” Abbey reaches up and twists Alex’s hair between her fingers as she speaks, trying her best to comfort him without getting too close. It is still hard for her to judge his moods and she isn’t sure if all the walls between them have been knocked down yet.

“But asking them to do this…?” Alex looks at her with a pained expression as the movie flashes brightly again, “This isn’t what we do. We’re far from fucking perfect and I know I’m no exception, but to go this far…? I’m a dealer, not a thief. I know what I do isn’t exactly heroic but the people I supply to make that choice for themselves; it’s their decision to take drugs, I just provide them. But taking money that isn’t mine to take, involving the boys…” Alex shakes his head, disgusted at himself, as he reaches up and takes Abbey’s hand.

“They have a choice too. They could have said no but they didn’t. They want to help you out Alex; you aren’t forcing them into anything…”

“I’ve still put them in this position…”

“Well, it’s a one off…” Abbey doesn’t know what else to say. She wants to reassure him but it is almost impossible for her to sit there and condone what they are planning to do. She can’t bring herself to openly encourage armed robbery.

This whole situation is worlds apart from the life she is used to and it frightens her, but Marcus is a genuine threat to Alex’s safety and the thought of someone hurting him, or worse, the thought of losing him altogether, is something that she just can’t handle.

“I keep telling myself that. It’s a one off, the shop we hit will be insured…” Alex laughs once without humour, “As if that will make a blind bit of fucking difference to the guy who owns it…” He looks up at Abbey again, searching her face, “I can’t imagine what you think of me? I can’t actually believe you’re still here…” Disarmed by his vulnerability, Abbey takes the bottle of beer from Alex’s grasp and places it on the coffee table, turning and shifting in his lap as she rests her head on his shoulder, still holding his gaze.

“I think you’re a good man, who’s trying to make the best of the hand he’s been dealt. You’re loyal; you love and protect your friends, and it’s obvious how much they love you…”

“Armed robbery isn’t exactly a character trait of a good man, Abbey…”

“If you weren’t a good man you wouldn’t care either way and you certainly wouldn’t be beating yourself up over it. I know you wish you had another choice. I wish I could change this for you…” Alex stares down at her, mystified.

“How do you always see the good in people?”

“I see it when it’s there to see…” Abbey smiles and she reaches up, gently touching her lips to Alex’s. He exhales slowly, almost with reluctance, but as their mouths lock together with more force he lets go of any worries and distractions and desire takes over. He runs his hand across Abbey’s chest and down to her waist, twisting his body so that she is on the sofa beneath him. As he holds her face to his with one hand, he unbuttons the shirt she is wearing with the other.

“It’s fucking ridiculous how good you look in this…” He whispers breathlessly. Abbey giggles as he throws the shirt to the floor and trails kisses all over her body, before stopping suddenly and shifting so that they are face to face again.

“I’m so glad you’re here…”

“Me too…” Abbey locks her arms around Alex’s neck and pulls him down into another lingering kiss. She slides his t-shirt off in one swift movement, tracing her hands across his perfectly toned chest and back up over his shoulders. She can feel the strength in his arms as he lifts her on top of him and her hands pull hungrily at his hair as they get lost in one another, and for a time, everything else just slips away.

Emotionally, Abbey has never felt so tired, but for some reason her body refuses to give in to the exhaustion. It is strange to see Alex looking so content and peaceful. As he sleeps his face is completely relaxed and it no longer holds the almost constant frown lines that Abbey is so used to seeing. She has been staring at him for a while now - marvelling yet again at how inconceivably gorgeous he is while thinking over everything she has learnt about him. On the surface Alex Matthews is one thing, but underneath all the bravado there is a mess of contradictions that hold more questions than answers.

He is a drug dealer. A fact that probably should have shocked Abbey when it was first revealed to her but it didn’t. To people that know him through his line of work he is strong, powerful, respected… and potentially dangerous. Although she had been greatly intimidated at first, Abbey no longer feels that way towards him. If anything, he makes her feel safer than ever. And although he is about to involve himself in an incredibly serious and dangerous crime, he doesn’t enjoy or relish that fact in any way. He is completely cut up and emotionally tormented, knowing how wrong it is and hating himself for involving the people he loves.

Abbey understands all too well, that as first impressions go, Alex is extremely bad news, but there are so many different layers to him that run much deeper than the image he projects on the surface. They have so much in common, much more than she initially thought, and although their lives have been completely different prior to this point, she understands the pain of being alone, to be disconnected from your family and to suffer loss. It is something that Alex has dealt with from a very young age. Despite rarely talking about his difficult upbringing and never using it as an excuse for his actions, his troubled past set him on this road and he simply adapted and found a way to survive, any way he could. So is it really his fault? Did he choose this life, or were the circumstances that led him to this point out of his control? Abbey can definitely relate to that notion. Her own life has spiralled so much in recent months and it has brought her here, a place she never expected to be. So who is she to judge?

It is getting increasingly difficult for her to reconcile between right and wrong these days and things aren’t quite as black and white as they used to be. The world that Alex and her friends belong to has serious moral flaws which she can’t deny or ignore, but they are good, caring people… just struggling, lost and a little messed up. Like her. And in the several months she has known them they have supported her far more than her real family ever have. When she hit rock bottom, the person who held her as she cried and gave her a place to stay, was Alex and she can see, unmistakably, that deep down he is a good person; conflicted and troubled, but with a strong conscience and a good heart. He will do anything for the people he cares about and now, by some miracle, that includes her.

Abbey’s head is aching from a severe lack sleep and from wrestling with her mess of conflicting thoughts. The sun is beginning to rise over the city and she sneaks out onto the balcony, breathing in the cold morning air in an attempt to clear her mind. Deep down, she knows that she is exactly where she needs to be and doesn’t regret her decision in the slightest, but she still can’t cut herself off completely from what and who she has left behind, particularly now that there is a brand new member of the family who she has yet to meet.

Anna had text Abbey to let her know that her baby niece was born at 8:05pm weighing 6lb 11oz. She desperately wants to reply, but has no idea what to say. Even typing out a message several times without hitting send. She feels as though she has no right to share in Anna and Dom’s excitement after walking away. It seems far too hypocritical. Anna of course doesn’t see it that way at all and wishes more than anything that Abbey would get in touch.

“She’ll come round. Just give her time…” Dom whispers softly, as he stares in awe at his baby daughter. She curls her tiny hand around his finger and he smiles in doe eyed amazement. The hospital room is quiet, apart from the constant, low beep of the monitor and the light rain tapping on the window.

“I don’t know. I get that she’s upset but she seemed different somehow; I’m really worried about her, Dom…”

“Have you tried calling her again?”

“I’ve left loads of messages but she hasn’t been in touch…” Anna confesses, sadly.

“She will when she’s ready. You can’t force this, love. I know you want to help but she is pretty vulnerable right now and if you pressure her into coming home it might have the opposite effect…”

“Maybe… we just don’t know where she’s staying or anything about the people she’s staying with. Doesn’t that bother you?”

“Of course it does, but we have to wait for her to come to us. You’ve called; you’ve let her know that we’re here for her, that’s all you can do, the balls in her court now. She knows where we are when she’s ready to talk…”Anna shrugs in half-hearted agreement, frustrated that her hands are tied and that she is unable to do anything more.

Despite her concern, she still can’t fight the urge to smile as she watches Dom melt when their baby daughter wriggles and yawns in his arms, stretching out her fingers as she briefly opens her eyes to look at him.

“God she is so perfect…” He beams, adoringly.

“I was thinking…” Anna muses, “I was thinking, maybe it would be nice if we named her after Abbey? Her middle name I mean. She really helped me out today, and I don’t know what I would have done if she hadn’t been there. Plus it might make her feel a bit more included, you know?”

“I think that’s a great idea babe…”

“You do?”

“Sure, I think it’s a beautiful name. Amelia Abigail Murray…” He announces proudly, gazing down at her, “welcome to the world kid…”

“I wish she would call, so I can tell her…”

“She will. I promise…” Dom leans forward and places a tender kiss on Anna’s forehead, but straightens quickly as the movement disturbs Amelia and she squirms uncomfortably in his arms. He paces slowly across the room and over to the window, rocking her gently as he looks out over the early morning sunrise. Anna watches her husband and new born daughter with a strong feeling of contentment, but her happiness is tainted with the underlying anxiety that is nagging away at her. Abbey has practically disappeared. Her little sister is hurt and struggling, and she has absolutely no idea what to do to or how to help her.

“I
n here mate…” Darren points to the entrance of an old abandoned scrap yard and Liam swings the van around; with the beam of the headlights flashing across the dark, empty space as they pull up outside a deserted building.

The atmosphere is tense and nobody speaks as Darren jumps out of the passenger side and approaches the large iron gate, unlocking the padlock and pushing it open in one swift movement. Liam drives inside and parks by the far wall of the warehouse, turning the engine off and climbing out to slide open the transit door.

Tom and Nathan leap down from the back of the van and make their way over to a huge pile of dust sheets in the opposite corner of the room. They throw them to one side, revealing a black 2005 ford Mondeo. It has tinted windows and fake licence plates, just as Darren had promised. He had met with his contact the previous night and took delivery of the car, which is to be collected again in three days’ time as long as everything goes to plan.