Evanescence (Black Rose #1) (15 page)

She smiles, but it wasn’t convincing at all. Mike shrugs and follows her out of the dining room.

"Your childhood, yes," father begins. "To begin, you’ve always took a great liking to art and nature--"

As I know.

"--you loved to climb trees, you'd climb practically as high as they would go with no fear of a fall. Sometimes, we’d have to go out and find you. You were fearless, Evan. You’ve always had those random outbursts of vampire, but never fully completed transformation at your early years unlike your sister and cousin."

"Do you remember the day I did that painting? I don't remember it at all," I say.

"Not too long before you were sent to live with Sarah. You were starting to feel and act out of place. You’d shut down, but I blame myself for your hard days."

"What do you mean?" I ask. Father pauses and thinks to himself.

"Your father--we all--had tried our best to get you more acclimated with the family. You were still—human longer than expected. We did not understand at the time, but were aware of the dangers that can occur with having a human child live with vampires. We alone were a threat to your life..."

"What'd you try to do? What dangers?" I ask.

"We've tested your strength, speed -- and appetite," father says. "Each test failed. We didn’t understand why you couldn’t be vampire 
all
 the time."

"My appetite?" I ask. "What'd you do?"

"We…We tried to…"

"We tried to feed you blood, Evan," mother finishes for father.

"But you rejected each time,” Kaius adds. “We figured, well maybe if he drank blood, it would force you to change. But you wouldn’t even eat meat. And so, it came to pass that it’d be best you grew up someplace more suitable to your needs. We had done all we could for you, Evan. It was a danger keeping you here."

I can remember what Bianca had told me from my nightmares. 
‘But you have to eat or everyone will be sad again.’ That dream. That was when I was sent away.

"Evan, if it means anything," mother says, "we didn't want you to go. We loved you and only wanted what was best for you."

Essence rubs her hand across my back.

"I was blessed having you," Sarah says.

"What happens next? What am I to do? What's to come of this?"

"You are to do as you please," Abel says. “May I? Brother?" He asks.

Father nods his head. Abel brushes some of his long black hair back away from his face.

"If you wish to live here with us, you can. This has always been your home. And if you so wish to continue to live with Sarah, you may do so as well, but --"

Of course there’s a ‘but.’

"You will still become what you are destined to be – a vampire. And you will not be able to change that. It 
will not
 be easy, you 
will
 make mistakes, and you 
will
 lose yourself from time to time at least until your body and mind fully adjusts to the change."

"How will it happen?" I ask.

"It will hurt. It will be painful. You will die."

Father clears his throat.

"Details," Abel continues. "Your teeth will develop, giving you a teething sensation. They will be as sharp as a swords end, and they will mature, but with time, you'll learn to hide the bite."

"What else?"

"Your eyes will change. A blood red around the pupils, but soon, you will learn to hide their color as well. They develop as the teeth do -- and nails for that matter."

"And I will look dead?"

"Of course. Permanently. Your human soul is dying now as we speak. That's why you have those outbursts of anger, strength, speed, and agility. Think of the vampire gene as a caged animal. Your cage is cracked open, and you’re fighting to get out from the tease of being free. Eventually, that cage will break, and you will be freed. The animal is your vampire. The cage is your human soul. That will be when your human soul dies. That will be when you die, and your heart will never beat again."

Everyone sits quiet.

"As I thought... I have to die."

That I knew.

"Yes," Abel confirms, “And not only that but you will also forget about--”

“That is enough, Abel,” father interrupts.

“No tell me? Forget about what?” I ask.

Sarah exhales and turns away.

“It is not important right now," father says. "One step at a time."

Not important? I’m here for answers. I want all of my questions answered. The more I know what to expect, the better I can prepare.

“Leave your trust in us, Evan,” father says. “When you change, we ask that you stay here a while, like Mike, so you won’t be a danger to Sarah, your school, and most importantly, yourself.”

"And we will be with you each step of the way, Evan," mother says. “Don’t be afraid.”

"You are not alone in this," Sarah adds.

I nod and understand much more about myself and my family than I had before. I believe it. It's just hard to grasp that I have to die and that it can happen at any moment. I rise from the table and feel the heaviness from their eyes watching me.

"Can I -- go for a walk?" I ask.

"Take as much time as you need, son,” father says. “We'll be right here when you are ready to begin training."

I head for the hallway.

"And Evan?" mother calls after me.

I stop and turn to face her.

"Yes?"

She rises from her chair and meets me in the doorway before speaking quietly.

"There's someone you should really talk to who really took a beating when we sent you away."

"Who?"

Her lips press together.

Bianca.

It is my destiny. To become a part of this unknown world that has always coexisted with my human life, but in shadows. I will be reborn after I die, only this time I will know who I am and I will know where I come from. Would that constitute as a loss or a gain? To live your life, not knowing who you are, or to die young, and find out sooner? Unfortunately, it wasn't my choice to make. It is the happening.

My mother, my real mother Valencia, insists that I speak to Bianca. But what do I say? I have always known something was troubling her. The way she looked at me or didn't look. She had been watching me. Trying to see if I had become what everyone has been waiting for, but apparently, she was the most anxious.

A few turns down the hallways have led me to that vast room with the piano stationed in the center, just as I dreamed before. Each step I take echoes on the marble floor. I examine the dusty black and white piano keys and position my hands above them. I begin to play a song by my favorite band,
Evanescence
called
My Immortal
. Before I reached the bridge of the song, a hand rests onto my shoulder.

"You play the piano with great sadness, Evan."

Bianca removes her grip and heads to the balcony of the room opening its glass doors. I follow and meet her next the ledge that overlooks the horizon -- the best view from the mansion I have yet to see. The openness, small ruffles of wind, soft waves smoothly shaping the sandbars, and marshmallow clouds above the Mohawk River Valley.

"You were always such a great artist and musician," she says. "Haven't lost an ounce of talent."

"I just create what I see and play what I feel."

She chuckles.

"I understand. You have many more gifts."

"I guess I wouldn't know. I'm just afraid of what's next," I say. "Whatever is expected of me."

"Don't be afraid. We're all here for you."

I couldn't help but picture my memory of leaving Beebee, Bianca, when I was younger. 

"You mean just how I was there for you?" I say shaking my head.

"That wasn't your fault, Evan. I had missed you, but I was strictly told to only watch you."

"And not speak to me," I add.

"No," she corrects. "That was my choice. I knew if I spoke to you, I probably would have scared you away."

"You wouldn't have."

"Oh, I would have. Off impulse. I'm pretty sure I'd come to you saying I'm your sister, Cedric is your cousin, and that you will die and become a vampire."

Okay. She's right. I would not have believed her and would have thought she was insane.
Then, I'd tell Mike he should probably consider a new potential girlfriend.

"Yeah, guess you're right."

"I told myself to be patient. To wait for the day, you would change. Or come looking for us. Or simply remember me."

"But I didn't."

"Yes," she looks at me. "You did. It took a while but you did and everyday, I struggled not to talk to you. I wanted you to remember us. To remember me." 

"I'm sorry, Bianca."

"Our parents told me and Cedric to be careful not to expose who we were and not to speak of our kind or family to you because they knew it would be best you learn on your own."

Her face blushes with sadness.

"When we were younger, do you remember how close we were?"

"Yes," I say. "I do now."

"We would always play together, and chase each other up and down the stairs, and I would even sometimes hide from you until you'd find me."

"Now that I definitely remember," I smirk.

She finds a smile and chuckles a bit. It fades.

"Since you've been gone, I've done nothing but long for you to come home and be with us again. Sometimes more than our parents. I guess you can say."

"And why's that?"

It takes her a moment to respond. 

"We were born a pair, Evan."

"A pair? What, like twins?"

"Yes, yet we do not physically resemble what stands for being "twins" by human definition. We share a special bond and are most susceptible to mortal partnerships because twins are of the human nature, not vampire. Making it easier for vampires like us to have a natural liking and attraction to humans."

"I see."

"Other vampires see us as abominations. Being able to mix our genes with humans has a much greater chance than those who are lucky, like our mother who is child bearing. They are envious of child bearers and birthed vampires because we still and will always have a small piece of what others lose at an early age and will never have again."

"And what's that?"

"A soul."

I look out to the ocean and nod.

"So, are you saying this is why I love Essence? Just because I am birthed and because I -- we -- are a pair?"

"No. Maybe that first attraction for her, yes, but love? No. Love has no rules nor discriminates. You love Essence, because you love, Essence."

That's good to know.

"As our father said, over the centuries, vampires have evolved. Some women have that child-bearing blessing. Most do not, so they bite their way into creating members of their own family. So, few are naturally born, but very few are born as pairs -- like us. Being naturally birthed is as close as it gets to having a soul and reaping the benefits of both human and vampire. Those who are born naturally have the gift of offspring. We start off as human, eventually dying rather young, and become vampires -- 'with a soul' as some would say."

"But I didn't."

"Correct. You didn't which is a first, but you are getting closer to becoming one fully."

Soon I will be like everyone else.

"Our parents believe the fragility of our bond is because of our pairing."

"I'm assuming our bond would be much closer right now if I had not forgotten everything."

"Perhaps. Pairs have a strong mental connection. When your changes began, I was first to know. That’s when Uncle Abel came to you. To see for himself, hoping my judgment was factual. I knew it was happening. I felt it.”

“Really?”

“Yes,” she responds, “But your body is pushing hard for you to change. Either way, you're still my brother and you're not alone in this. I'm always here for you."

"Because we are a pair, huh?"

"No," she responds. "Because I actually care about you."

She smiles and we hug. She exhales deeply.

"Mike is fine."

I chuckle.

"The last time I heard that I had no clue where he was."

"If you climb up you'll find him on the bell," she says.

"Climb?"

She looks up and my eyes follows hers. A pale figure sits on the lip of the large, copper bell. 

"You can do it. That's how you got up here to the mansion before. Just have to tap into it. It's already in you, Evan."

I stare at the cream stoned wall and look up to the bell again.

"I don't know how."

"Just try," she says. "Give it an honest go."

I brush my palms against my pants and take a deep breath. I approach the wall and grip on a few rocks while stepping onto a couple others. I struggle to reach for another rock above me, but stand on the tips of my toes and grab hold of it. With all of my strength, I pull my weight off of the rocks beneath my feet and catch another rock with my other hand only to find my feet dangle. I am stuck. 

"Uh, I don't think this is right," I tell Bianca helplessly.

She laughs.

"Come down, Evan."

I let go of the rocks and catch myself on the ground. I turn to her dusting off my palms.

"Okay, face the wall."

"Are you sure this --"

"Face the wall, Evan."

I exhale and listen. She chuckles.

"Okay, now close your eyes."

I obey and listen to her voice. I remember when Essence had told me to close my eyes in painting class. She had me focus on what I was feeling most and it became my guide. It felt like an adrenaline rush, but soon turned into much more than that.

"Now, dig deep into your deepest emotion and grab hold of it."

Fear.

"When you are ready, I want you to place your hands on the rocks and climb." 

Okay. What am I afraid of? I have a list. Losing Essence. Losing her love. The future. Above all, becoming a vampire. Ah, and, myself. Me. That is what I am afraid of. I am afraid of myself. I am afraid of being a monster, unable to control myself. A terror in the dark. A beast that feeds on blood. So that alone is my biggest fear, myself.

I open my eyes and gripped in my hands are rock. Beneath my feet, rock as well. The air around me feels different. Much windier. The water crashing against rock sounds much further away, rather, below. I look to my left and there are clouds. I look below myself and can barely see Bianca. I look above, and the lip of the bell is just a few feet away.
I climbed?

I grab hold of the lip with one hand and pulled myself up. I crawl to the top, a flat surface on the bell, and there he stands. 

"Evan," he says.

"...Mike."