Evan Elemental (The Evan Elemental Series) (18 page)

I try
to ignore the tiny stab of hurt that his tone causes. "Why not? I thought
you said we were the same?"

Lex
turns back
to
me, his face softer and his eyes
dark with concern. "We are, in
ways. But I'm different. I..."

Lex
trails off without finishing
and cocks his head to the side as if listening. After a moment a sigh escapes
his lips. "I better go. I'll wait for you in the kitchen."

Without
so much as a backward glance he's gone. After everything we've shared in the
last few months, the fact that he's still holding out, not telling me
everything about
himself
, is disturbing. I want
nothing more than to chase him down the hall and make him finish his sentence.
Instead, I rise from bed, go to my closet, and set about the mundane task of
choosing something to wear.

Someone
has already put away the clothes I bought on my shopping trip with Mattie. I
sift through the new clothes and settle on a pale pink sundress. It's light and
filmy, coming tight under my breast and flaring out softly down over my hips
until the hem hits my knee; the straps tie at my shoulders.

I
shower and dress quickly, not wanting to spend too much time thinking. Every
time I try to remember what happened in the lake my head literally starts to
hurt. It's like there's some block in my brain keeping me from remembering
anything, the same way there was a block in my mind that kept me from telling
the truth to
Lex
.

After
I'm dressed I twist my hair up in a loose, damp knot and slip on a pair of
metallic gold flats. I stand in front of the mirror and give myself a once
over. I wear the part of a carefree young socialite perfectly. Perfect
except...I raise my hand and lay it flat on my chest just above the neckline of
the dress, where my pendant should be. It's gone.

I take
a few steadying breaths. There's no way I'm going to slip into panic mode. The
most likely explanation is that it's at the bottom of the lake. I want to head
out there immediately and look for it, but I know that, with what happened
yesterday, it's going to be impossible to be able to go off on my own anymore.

With a
frustrated sigh, I turn and leave the room. Outside, the hall is empty and
quiet. I feel cut off from the rest of the house, the rest of the world. I
start to imagine that if I never leave this part of the house then I might be
able to sink into oblivion forever, unnoticed. The thought is welcoming and
that scares me.

Someone
clears their throat softly to my right, jarring me out of my musings. I turn
sharply to find Ezra stepping smoothly out of the shadows. His green eyes are
lit with dark humor. I feel a chill wash over me under his direct and intense
gaze.

"Ms.
O'Fion
. May I escort you to brunch?" he asks
just as smoothly as he moves. I had almost forgotten just how beautiful he is;
under the pale morning light his beauty is amplified along with the gold
touches in his hair and eyes.

"Brunch?"
is all I can think to say; I'm too stupefied by his looks.

"Yes,"
he answers with a slow indulgent smile, "too late for breakfast, too early
for lunch."

I'm
able to gather my wits enough to glare at him, which only adds to his
amusement. "I know what brunch is," I say rolling my eyes, "I
just expected that everyone would have already eaten. I was planning on just
getting something from the kitchen."

Ezra
grins. "We were instructed to wait until your were ready. Rodger didn't
take the order lightly, he gets cranky when he waits too long in between
meals."

It's my
turn to grin remembering the way Rodger Bloom plowed through dinner, taking
seconds and thirds with great liberty.

"Come
on," Ezra says, offering me his arm in a move that I would have found
charming under normal circumstances. I know better though. I haven't for one
second forgotten the strange dark pulsing energy that reverberated through me
like an echo when he took my hand the other night. I hesitate until him holding
out his arm becomes awkward and he drops it back to his side.

Ezra
gives me a thoughtful look and then starts walking down the hall without
waiting for me. I follow reluctantly. We don't speak the entire way to the
dining room, but he keeps sneaking sideways glances at me. I can't help but
blush under the light of his mischievous grins. There's no denying that Ezra is
one of the most beautiful men I've ever met, aside from
Lex
.
No matter how good-looking he is it doesn't mask the scent of danger that
clings to him like a dark fog. There's a part of me that appeals to, but I've
sworn to leave that part of me behind in the wreckage of my parents' death.

"Here
we are," Ezra says cheerily when we reach the dining room. He gestures for
me to enter through the already open door before him, another surprisingly
chivalrous move.

When we
enter, everyone looks up. I glance around but, to my disappointment, don't see
Lex
. Sulkily I take my seat at the head of the table in
place of Magda who is also absent, a fact that doesn't escape
Lilian's
notice.

Nobody
speaks much throughout the meal, which is good since I'm not up for any sort of
conversation. After Rodger finishes scraping the last morsels off his plate, a
small army of maids comes in and clears away the dishes. I stand up quickly,
aiming to get out to the lake before I can be accosted, but
Lilian
is quicker. She appears at my elbow at almost
Lex
-like
speed. It seems that the long talk she promised will be happening sooner rather
than later. Great.

I give
her a weary smile, take her offered hand, and lead her outside to the gardens.
The day is fresh and dewy still. I take in a deep breath and feel the energy of
the earth around me seep into my skin and fill me with a reassuring hum of
electricity.

We walk
along the garden path in a comfortable silence. Even though I've only been here
a few months, the Price Estate is as familiar and welcoming to me as my
childhood home. I feel a thrill being able to share it with
Lilian
.
I watch her face light up with wonder as she takes in the lush blooming flowers
and the various greens of the exotic plants carefully and lovingly arranged.

"So,"
I say breaking the silence, "how long are you
gonna
be here?"

I try
to sound nonchalant about it but I'm afraid a certain amount of anxiety creeps
through. As much as I miss my aunt, I just don't have time to deal with the
added stress of trying to keep things from her; it's hard enough doing that
when she's a few hundred miles away.

"For
now, I'm staying until after this big picnic that everyone keeps talking about.
I want to see all the work you've been doing," she answers with a kind
smile. "After that, I guess it just depends on if Magda can prove you're
actually being taken care of."

"I
am!" I blurt out a little too quickly.
Lilian
gives me a dubious look.

"We'll
see. I've been talking to your parents' lawyer and I managed to wheedle out of
him further stipulation of your guardianship. If it can be proven that a
certain amount of neglect is going on, say, for instance, your grandmother is
gone for months at a time leaving you alone to be taken care of by her
staff..." she pauses to let the fact that I haven't been fooling her with
my "Magda's just really busy" lies sink in. I press my lips together
in a sorry attempt to remain expressionless.

"...
then
I would have a good chance of gaining custody,"
she finishes.

Lilian
stops walking and turns to me,
her face beaming with joy at the prospect of me coming to stay with her. I
return her smile, but it comes a moment too late.
Lilian's
face falls slightly. I walk over to a nearby bench and sit, gesturing for her
to join me.

There's
no way I can leave Price now. I have no idea what's happening, or what's about
to happen, but I know that if I leave, nothing will get resolved. And then
there's
Lex
. A tiny sigh escapes my lips before I can
stop it.

"Evan,
what is it?"
Lilian's
eyes bore into me but I
remain mute. "You have to talk to me. If you don't talk to me then we're
going to have to see about therapy and…
"

I hold
up a hand stopping her. "Aunt Lily, please. I don't need therapy. It's
just..."

My
words die in my throat. I can't explain to her exactly why I need to stay.
Aside from the obvious there's something else, something intangible that tugs
at the back of my conscience.

"
Lex
?" she asks carefully.

I smile
and the tension in my body eases. "He's part of the reason, but not the
whole reason."

Lilian
nods. I can tell she's trying
to be patient and understanding and it breaks my heart that I can't be honest
with her. "Okay. Well, tell me about the
Lex
part first."

As
close as I am with
Lilian
, we've never really talked
about boys before. There has never been a boy that I wanted to talk about. I
went to an all-girls school for the better part of my teenage years and the
only mild flirtations I've ever entertained didn't last longer than a band set.
With
Lex
, the attraction was instant and palpable. He
touched me deeply in ways I hadn't imagined possible, on a cellular level.

"Lil,
I can't even begin to describe how I feel. But, I think I'm really falling for
him." It's the understatement of the century, but I know that if I tell
her how I really feel she would probably take me away immediately. Maybe file a
restraining order against
Lex
.

Lilian
lets out a soft, tired sigh. A
cloud passes over the timidly shining sun and casts us in a deep shadow. The
effect seems to age
Lilian
instantly. For the first
time, I see her as an adult and not a peer. My parents' death has truly changed
her.

"I
get it, Evan, really I do. But I can't say I approve. I mean, he's too old for
you, for one.

"He's
only twenty-four," I protest.

Lilian
shoots me a glare and continues
as if I didn't interrupt her. "And two, he works for your grandmother.
Does she know about this?"

My
silence is all the answer she needs.

"Christ,
Ev
. How am I supposed to handle this? I know your
parents' didn't leave me in charge of you, but that doesn't mean I don't have a
responsibility to make sure you're taken care of, that you're healthy and safe.
You're the only family I have left."

Lilian
takes my hands but doesn't look
at me. I'm suddenly filled with the heaviest, suffocating guilt. I've been
dodging her to protect
myself and my myriad of secrets,
but I haven't once given a thought to how that might affect her. I had assumed
that she didn't have the time to worry about me, that her life and her job were
just too demanding. No matter how bad I feel, there is nothing I can say that
would ease the burden on myself and make her feel better. My lies are
essential. I need to stay.

"Lil,
I..."

"Look,"
she says cutting in, "I know why your mom was going to take you to Paris
for the summer." Her voice breaks and the fresh tears in her eyes don't
escape my notice.

"What?"
I ask, genuinely confused. "What do you mean?"

I think
back to the night of the accident. We had been out celebrating a client my mom
had just landed. She would be handling the estate of a wealthy dowager, an avid
antique and art collector, in Paris. The woman had recently died and her family
had no idea what to do with what she left behind. A previous client of my mom's
had recommended her to them. The job was expected to last all summer and I was
supposed to go with her.
Lilian
looked up, her eyes
dark with sadness.

"Evan,
your parents knew about the..." she pauses, biting the inside of her
cheek, "the problems your were having. They knew you were still sneaking
out, with Jessie, and the drinking. The drugs. They just didn't know how to
talk to you about it, especially since you were still doing really well in
school and fulfilling all of your obligations. Your mom called in a favor to
get that job because she thought it would be a good excuse to get you away for
a while. She thought that maybe, once she got you in a different city, away
from your friends, that she could talk to you, help you."

I shake
my head refusing to believe what she's saying. How could they have known? I was
careful, always, ever since they caught me that one time and sent me to private
school. One of the only things keeping me together has
been
knowing
that when they died they still thought I was their perfect,
smart, well-adjusted daughter. Now, I don't even have that.

All
this time I've refrained from blaming myself for their accident. In my rational
mind I know that my parents were victims of circumstance, but I can't stop the
feeling that this whole thing is somehow my fault from being born in the empty
parts of my soul, the empty parts that they left when they no longer existed.
If I had been better, if I had tried harder to be happy, then maybe we wouldn't
have been there that night. Maybe they would still be alive.

Still
shaking my head I stand and begin to slowly back away from
Lilian
.
Her face is pale and stricken. I force myself to stop instead of fleeing like
everything in my body is telling me to.

"Evan.
I'm not telling you this to make you feel guilty. I want to help you. If you
can't talk to me about what's been going on then I want you to talk to someone
else,"
Lilian
pleads, tears falling freely down
her face.

"
Lilian
, honestly, I don't need therapy. I'm doing
fine."