Etiquette and Vitriol (15 page)

TODD:
I have AIDS. I need a bed and a place to live. I have AIDS.

GRACE
(Falling apart, plowing ahead)
: Your father can string up those paper lanterns. The ones we used at your sister's sweet sixteen. We still have them, I think. I think they're in the attic. We packed them away, I think, with the Christmas ornaments.

TODD:
I need a pillow and some peace and quiet.

EMMA:
Who are you?

GRACE:
We'll serve champagne or punch, or something to drink.

TODD:
I have—

GRACE
(Her despair now shows)
: And the Beekmans'll come! Essie was always fond of you. She's married now. Gotten fat. Don't be shocked when you see her.

TODD:
I said—

GRACE:
I don't think she's happy really. She married a nice enough man. Very attractive. In real estate.

TODD:
I have AIDS.

GRACE:
I think he beats her.

TODD:
I have AIDS.

GRACE:
And the Plimptons.

TODD:
Listen to me.

GRACE
(Rather frenzied now)
: And the Weathertons—maybe we should cater! I don't know—I love planning a party! I feel I'm really in my element when I'm planning a party! We'll have music on the terrace! I'm most alive planning a
party! You'll see, Todd, it'll be wonderful! It'll be beautiful! You're going to love it! You're just going to love it!

TODD:
I have AIDS.

(Blackout. Grace steps into a pool of light and addresses the audience.)

GRACE:
We were always very close and I thought Todd extremely gifted. He sculpted the gargoyles on the terrace, of course that was later. We didn't need to speak. Sometimes, we would just sit in the garden, reading, not needing to speak. We would watch the leaves change color.

(Arthur joins her in the pool of light.)

It's Todd, Arthur.

ARTHUR:
Who?

GRACE:
Buzz. Talk to him.

ARTHUR:
What's wrong?

GRACE:
He's dying.

(Grace turns and exits. After a moment, Arthur addresses the audience.)

ARTHUR:
When he was a boy, Buzz wanted to be a sports announcer on the radio. He loved the Philadelphia Phillies. He talked about them all the time. He said their names over and over again: Nick Etten and Danny Litwhiler, Eddie Waitkus and his favorite, Granville Hamner. Buzz worshipped him. He saw the poetry in his name. Oh, that was me. Not Buzz. I liked the Phillies. Buzz drew a lot. I think. Buzz was born a month after my father died and I was a little distracted. He never liked the Phillies, I did. But later, we had catches, on the yard. And like all little boys, Buzz looked up to me and idealized me. He admired me. He loves me and I love him. He's my son and my world and the most
important thing in my life—did I say thing? I mean person. And I would do anything for him. Take any suffering. I would cut off my arm. I wouldn't cut off my arm. I know it's a figure of speech, but I wouldn't. I need my arms. He's not the most important person in my life. I do love him, but I said that, didn't I?

(The lights come up. Todd is dragging a large sack in from the terrace.)

Buzz?

TODD:
Yes?

ARTHUR:
What are you doing?

TODD:
I've been in the yard.

ARTHUR:
What?

TODD:
I fell asleep on the sofa, I thought I'd never wake up. But I had strange dreams, so I went out for some air.
(He spills the contents of the sack onto the floor. It is dozens of bones)

ARTHUR:
What is that?

TODD:
There was something sticking up, out of the ground. I dug it up.

ARTHUR:
This is garbage.

TODD:
These are bones.

ARTHUR:
So, a dog buried bones.

TODD:
We don't have a dog.

ARTHUR:
Maybe your sister.

TODD
(Sorting through the bones, on the floor)
: I think this house was built on a burial ground.

ARTHUR:
So what?

TODD:
Or maybe there's been a murder.

ARTHUR:
What are you talking about?

TODD:
Or maybe these are fossils.

ARTHUR:
Put them away.

TODD:
I'm going to find out. I'm going to put them together.

ARTHUR:
I'd like to talk to you.

TODD
(Fitting the bones together)
: Talk.

ARTHUR:
Your mother tells me . . .

TODD:
What?

ARTHUR:
She says you're dying.

TODD
(Ignoring Arthur, pulling more bones from the sack
): Does she?

ARTHUR:
She's very upset.

TODD:
Is she?

ARTHUR:
Of course.

TODD:
She registers it oddly.

ARTHUR:
Listen to me.

TODD
(Not looking)
: I am listening.

ARTHUR:
She says you're going to die.

TODD:
We're all going to die.

ARTHUR:
Is it true?

TODD
(Looks at Arthur)
: Is what true?

ARTHUR:
Are you dying?

TODD
(Returning to his work)
: No.

ARTHUR:
Is this a joke? I don't find it funny.

TODD:
I never said I was dying.

ARTHUR:
Your mother said—

TODD:
I have AIDS. So what? I have no symptoms. I am asymptomatic. I'm healthy. I'm strong. I'm not dying.

ARTHUR:
Is there something you want?

TODD:
I'd like a Diet Coke.

ARTHUR:
I'd like us to be close.

TODD:
Uh-huh.

ARTHUR:
I'd like us to be friends, Buzz. I'd like us to share things.

TODD:
Such as?

ARTHUR:
I don't know. You're my son.

TODD:
Uh-huh.

ARTHUR:
Buzzy, do you remember when you were ten? Your sister was eight. She was very sick, in the hospital. You were in a play in school. Do you remember that, Buzzboy?

TODD:
What was the play?

ARTHUR:
Oliver
.

TODD:
It was
The Birthday Party
, by Harold Pinter.

ARTHUR:
Is that a musical about British pickpockets and lovable street urchins?

TODD:
It's about a man pursued by mysterious strangers on his birthday until he's driven to rape.

ARTHUR:
Really?

TODD:
Yes.

ARTHUR:
I remember urchins.

TODD:
You're mistaken.

ARTHUR:
Who did you play?

TODD:
The rapist.

ARTHUR:
You were ten.

TODD:
It was a private school.

ARTHUR:
I never cared for Pinter. I like
Oliver
. I like a nice story with a song. Don't you?

TODD:
What's the point.

ARTHUR:
I left the hospital the minute your sister was out of surgery. The minute they said she'd be okay I rushed to your school to see the second act. I'd missed the first . . .

TODD:
Thus your confusion as to the subject matter.

ARTHUR:
You played a rapist?

TODD:
In the sixth grade.

ARTHUR:
That can't have been healthy. But I remember, you looked so cute. I was standing in the back and I was so proud.

TODD:
I raped with aplomb.

ARTHUR:
Don't sully the story—I remember it so clearly. I thought, “My daughter is safe, and my son is up there, on that stage, with all the other fathers looking and watching.” I felt we were close. It was a wonderful moment. Can't we be again?

TODD:
What?

ARTHUR:
Close.

TODD:
We're close.

ARTHUR:
No, we're not, Buzzy.

TODD:
Todd.

ARTHUR:
Not really.

TODD:
I don't know what you want.

ARTHUR:
I'm your father.

TODD:
So?

ARTHUR:
We should do things together. Why can't you just try? Why can't you try to be my friend. Let me in? Confide in me.

TODD:
I want to take a nap.

ARTHUR:
How did you get this?

TODD:
What?

ARTHUR:
How did you get this disease?

TODD:
That's none of your business.

ARTHUR:
You can trust me, Buzz!

TODD:
I don't think so.

ARTHUR:
Try me!

TODD:
I sat on a dirty toilet seat.

ARTHUR:
I'm asking.

TODD:
I ignored a chain letter.

ARTHUR:
I want some rapport. When you were little we had catches, we had fun. Remember Sundays? They were your day. They were Buzz-day. Let me in.

TODD:
I fucked men.

ARTHUR
(After a moment)
: Why?

TODD:
It feels good.

ARTHUR
(Hopeful)
: But they didn't fuck you?

TODD:
It feels great. It feels better than great.

ARTHUR:
It's all right. I'm not shocked.

TODD
(As he continues, he speaks without anger)
: I fucked prostitutes I picked up on the street.

ARTHUR:
That can't have been healthy.

TODD:
I fucked women and men in bathrooms. In beds. On rooftops, in subways and basements and attics.

ARTHUR:
I understand.

TODD:
I took their fists up my ass and their cum down my throat. I gave blow jobs to people I never met, in dark rooms crowded with strangers. I buried my face in their asses, suffocating. I jerked off strangers, and wiped their cum on my face. And I knew what I was doing. I knew it was “not safe.” And knowing drove me on. I was killing
myself night after night. You want some rapport? Well, I can do nothing more to please you.

(Pause.)

ARTHUR:
Why are you here, Buzz?

TODD:
This is my family.

ARTHUR
(After a moment)
: I feel good about our talk.

(Todd reaches into the sack and pulls out a dinosaur skull.)

TODD:
Look.

ARTHUR:
What?

TODD:
It's a dinosaur!
(He holds the skull up to show Arthur)

ARTHUR:
I'll see you at dinner.
(He exits)

TODD:
(Addressing the audience)
: I was ten and, the night before the play, my mother came to see me.

(The lights shift, in either angle or color. Todd lies down on the sofa. Grace enters. She carries a drink.)

GRACE:
Todd?
(No response)
Todd, are you sleeping?
(No response)
Todd!

TODD
(Groggy)
: What?

GRACE:
Are you sleeping?