Eternal Shadows (28 page)

“You don’t have to think about them if you don’t want to.” I didn’t want him to have to experience so much pain all in one day.

“There’s no getting around it now.”

“Why don’t we sit down then? Or would you rather stand all night?” I pulled back and grabbed his hands, tugging him away from the wall and towards my bed.

“I’m the cradle robber, and yet you’re the one dragging me to your bed.”

“Shut up. We’re just talking.” I gave him a light shove. “Lay down.”

“You’re just as bossy as they were,” he said, doing as I had commanded.

I crawled into bed next to him, arranging the pillows so we could
lie face to face, then threw his arm over my waist. “I’m not bossy,” I said. “Now get talking.”

The hand I had put over my waist lifted and played with my hair instead. I quickly tried to remember the last time I had washed it. Crap. Last night. Oh well, it wouldn’t be untouchable until tomorrow morning. Maybe I could hold out.

“Bryn was quieter, sweet, but the times were different and we were just simple farmers. There weren’t as many demands on us socially. But I could always detect that part of her that wanted to come out, the part that wanted to be more outspoken, less polite. I only saw her lose her temper once.”

“She would have really liked pink, wouldn’t she?”

“It wouldn’t have matched her complexion.”

“You’re scaring me now.”

“I apologize for having some knowledge of fashion. After you’ve lived with Madge for over a century, always listening to the dos and don’ts of the current times, you’ll understand.”

“Fine. So what about Eva?” I asked about her cautiously. The memories of her were bound to be the most dangerous territory.

Rhys twirled my hair around one finger, watching, then looked back at me. “Eva was what Bryn wished she could have been, though I think Eva went further than Bryn would have in her own life. Everyone knew Eva’s opinion on everything. She always maintained politeness though, mostly. I never saw Eva lose her temper. She was far too well practiced in social conventions. She knew how to play the game.”

“And even with all that, you’re sure you still like crass little me?” I couldn’t begin to understand why. I doubted a modern American woman could compare to one of those old fashioned, refined beauties.

“You’re not crass.”

“Still. I’m not sophisticated or anything like that.”

“I’d have to argue with you there.”

“They were women in their own right. I’m still a child.”

“Again, I’d argue against that. Are you trying to find fault with yourself?”

“I just want to be sure that you’re sure.”

“I chose you without remembering Bryn or Eva.”

“Even subconsciously?”

“We have no way of knowing that.”

“I guess so.” I played with his tee-shirt, tracing nonsensical patterns onto it with a finger.

“And what about you? What interest could you possibly have in an old, damaged vampire?”

My finger froze in place and I looked at him. “Are you kidding me?”

His face was clear of any sign of amusement or teasing. “No.”

I let out a severe sigh and held up a hand, ticking points off on my fingers as I spoke. “Smart, strong, saves my butt, helps me with my math, kind, handsome, and,” I paused for dramatic effect, holding my index finger up in front of his nose, “vampire. Duh. Who doesn’t want to fall in love with a sexy vampire?”

“You didn’t.”

I screwed my face up, remembering how I detested his kind—our kind—only a short time ago. “Okay, well, things change. But, had I been a character in a book or a movie I would have. That’s always the way things go in those, you know. All the girls fall for the vampire.”

“Point taken,” he said. “So I’m sexy, am I?”

“Have you never looked in a mirror? Because I know that whole no reflection thing is a myth, I look in one every morning.”

“I don’t often stand in front of one contemplating my own sexiness, no.”

“Well, that’s good. You’d be stuck there for a long time.”

“Doubtful.”

“I’ll do it for you.” Already did, every night as I fell asleep.

“I’d rather contemplate you.”

“Won’t give you much to think about I’m afraid.”

“Again, I disagree.”

“I’m sure Eva’s dresses were far more interesting and glamorous than my jeans.”

“I’m not concerned with clothes. Fashion changes constantly.”

“In that memory I have, you said Bryn was the prettiest thing in the country.”

“Doesn’t every man think that of the woman he loves?”

“So she wasn’t?”

“She was to me. And now you are.”

“I’m tempted to call you fickle.”

“Hardly.” He was silent a moment. Watching me. “I must admit, of your three lives, I’m glad this is the one that will remain permanent.”

Now there was a surprise. “Why?”

“Because I think the times have done us both some good. And you are almost a perfect combination of both Bryn and Eva’s strengths.”

I made a show of gasping in shock. “But I’m American! Cocky and obstinate and self-assured!”

“Not always bad traits.”

I laughed a little, then thought about what he had said. “It’s going to take some getting used to, the idea of once being two other people.”

“More than just two.”

“Oh yeah, France. Three.”

“More than three.”

I settled down on my pillow, tucking a hand under my face. “And why would you know this? Isn’t it up to me to remember my past lives?”

“Yes, but I can remember my own past lives.”

“I thought only some people could do that.”

“Only a few vampires can sense past lives in other people, fewer still can see them. I can’t do that, but I remember my own lives.”

“And so what? We were together before we were Bryn and Rhys?”

“Yes.”

And for some reason, that made most of my doubt fade away. “Who were we?”

Amusement played over his features. “You can remember that on your own. You don’t want me to tell you everything, do you?”

“Maybe. Then when I do remember, I’ll know immediately what you remember wrong.”

“I don’t remember anything wrong.” I wrapped my arms around his waist and snuggled into his chest. It sounded strange, even to me, but I could feel the parts of Bryn I had begun to remember jump with elation.

“Rhys O’Shea,” I said, “I plan to love you for a very long time.” A simple memory test.

“For as long as I live, you will be the only one to possess my heart, Kassandra.” He said my name without pause.

Chapter Twenty-T
hree: Adrift

I was on cloud nine.

Someone get a rope and reel me in. On second thought, don’t. I no longer had any interest in anything that didn’t exist in my blissful, floating world. Go away and leave me alone.

Alone with Rhys.

School was out. Done. Finished. Ta-da. I’d passed high school. I was free as a bird and nothing could stop me. Graduation would be held in two days’ time—on a Wednesday of all days to choose—and Sara had already called me about twenty-thousand times to ask me what I planned on wearing, since my wardrobe was mostly things I’d already been seen in, and when I wanted to go shopping for the purposes of securing the perfect ensemble for the huge graduation party Kelly Peterson was throwing at her parents’ over-sized house.

This was phone call twenty-thousand and one.

“Come on, Kassandra. I haven’t seen you since finals! What could you possibly be doing cooped up in that house by yourself all day long?”

I glanced at Rhys sitting behind me and tapped the back of the phone with a finger in irritation. “You’d be surprised,” I told her, completely deadpan.

“Well, you’ve had all weekend to do whatever secret activities you seem to enjoy more than hanging out with me. I already sent Jude away with the guys for the day, so get dressed and meet me outside in an hour. I’ll drive.”

“Obviously.” She always drove. I couldn’t. Yet she always declared that she would shoulder the task as though my turn as chauffeur had come up on our previous outing.

“One hour.” She hung up.

I listened to the dial tone for a good solid minute, cursing it instead of my best friend.

“You’re holding the phone too tightly.” His voice was like soft silk against my agitation.

I heard the plastic of the phone crack before I managed to loosen my grip. I set the phone back in its cradle with dramatic delicacy, then slumped over onto my bed with an even more dramatic sigh, burying my face in the comforter. “I’m being forced to go shopping.”

“You like shopping,” Rhys said, sitting at the head of my bed, playing with the sixpence. We’d spent the weekend playing Twenty Questions, so our repertoire of useless information about one another had grown significantly. It kept his mind busy and reduced the number of times his newly recovered memory tortured him with unwanted images.

I rolled onto my back and tilted my head so I could see him upside-down. “I like spending time with you more.”

“I’m flattered, but you shouldn’t ignore your friends. They won’t be around forever. I, however, will be.”

I suddenly felt really bad about blowing Sara off so much lately. “Well, I like that last part, but not the other part.”

He set the coin down on my bedside table. “You hadn’t really thought about it, had you?”

Thought about my best friend getting old and dying while I stayed young forever? Nope. Hadn’t been at the top of my list of favorite things to ponder throughout the day. Now it was. Thanks.

He must have seen the answer in my face. “It’s hard, watching everyone you know change, get old, die. But once those you knew in your human life are gone, it gets a bit easier.”

“Not making me feel better.” I sat up. I knew he meant well, but I couldn’t help but remember what I’d been told about the end of his human life. Once Bryn had died, he’d left everything else behind, including his family. He hadn’t hung around to spend time with old friends. “You’re right though, I should go play with Sara.”

I heard him slide across the bed, then felt him press up against my back. His arms snaked around my waist. “Yes, go play with Sara. I’ll survive in the meantime.”

I had a feeling he hadn’t meant his words the way I had taken them. I hadn’t left him since that night when he’d remembered everything. Even when I was with him the harder memories didn’t stay away completely. Now I had to leave him alone…

I tilted my head and leaned back into him. “You’re not exactly making me eager to leave.”

“Apologies. Should I go?”

“No.” I grabbed hold of his arms and kept them trapped around me. “She gave me an hour, we have some time.”

“Most likely that hour is so you can put yourself together.”

I plucked at my pajama pants. “You mean I can’t go out like this?”

“I wouldn’t recommend it. It’s going to rain.”

I looked out the window and frowned at the dark clouds that hung over town. At least I wouldn’t have to worry about the sun causing any problems. If I was going to be alone with Sara, I didn’t need to worry about the possibility of my thirst getting out of control. Finding Warren before I left would probably be a good idea, too.

Wait. Alone with Sara? I hadn’t been allowed to go anywhere alone since all this nonsense with Malachi had started. I flipped around in Rhys’s arms. “Do I get to go out by myself?”

“The same thing just occurred to me,” he said, leaning back on both arms. “It is a bit of a problem.”

“Sara would think it really weird if you followed us around though.”

“I’ll ask Millie to follow you, out of sight. Julius wanted to speak to me anyway, since you’ve been monopolizing my attention.”

“I didn’t hear you complaining.”

“There are no complaints to be had.”

“Will you make Millie promise to stay out of sight?”

“Yes.”

“Okay then. It’s a deal.” I gave him a quick kiss then jumped off the bed. “I guess I’ll take a shower, too. Sara would probably like it if I took the time to do something with my hair.”

“I’ll make all the necessary arrangements.” He stood. I thought he would head for the door, but he grabbed me and kissed me again instead.

No complaints. I pressed my lips against his and forced the kiss to last just one moment longer than he had intended.

“If I see Warren, I’ll send him up.”

“Okay.”

He left. As the door closed I felt a case of the jitters start down at my toes. I hoped he would be okay without constant distractions from his thoughts. I would have to trust that the rest of the family would have enough sense to keep an eye out.

It had been a long time since I’d laughed so hard and for so long. I hadn’t realized that until I was doubled over in hysterics, clutching the wall to keep from falling to the ground when Sara stepped out of the dressing room in
a bright pink, tulle covered, knee-length monstrosity of a dress. To top it all off, an enormous blue flower had been pinned at the left shoulder.

“Shut up,” she told me, planting her hands on her hips. “Is it that bad?”

I gasped, unable to speak. All I could do was continue laughing.

“Some best friend you are.” She stepped in front of the ring of mirrors placed outside all the rooms. A few twists and turns let her see everything. “I ask for an honest opinion and this is what I get.”

I pulled myself together, somewhat, and sat on the nearest bench. “This is my honest opinion. You look ridiculous. But you’d certainly make a statement if that’s what you’re going for.”

“Maybe it is a bit too much.”

“Plus it clashes with the purple in your hair.”

“Well, that can be changed easily enough.”

“Sara, if you want to wear something no one’s ever seen you in before why don’t you just try anything not black, blue, red, or purple?”

She glared at me over her shoulder. “Those aren’t the only colors I wear. My favorite shirt is yellow.”

“And it’s the only piece of yellow you own.”

“You’re one to talk.”

“Hey, I have all sorts of colors in my closet.”

“All tee-shirts.”

“Just go take that thing off already. You’re hurting my eyes.”

“Fine, fine.” She trudged back into the dressing room, the tulle of the dress shifting and scraping against everything.

I laughed once more as soon as the door closed, then chased away the image of my friend being eaten by a pink monster and leaned back against the wall. I pulled my shopping bags closer with my feet. My shopping was finished. I’d bought a few pairs of jeans and an assortment of new tee-shirts, long-sleeved and short. I figured if I was done growing I might as well buy what I liked. Clothes were only going to wear out now, not get too small. For the party, I’d found a sapphire blue dress with cap sleeves. The neckline was round, but on the low side, and the skirt flared out around my knees when I twirled. I figured it was simple enough to survive more than one time period, and it would certainly stand up to the standards of all the kids at the party.

Mostly, though, I hoped Rhys liked it.

After another hour of trying on odd dresses, Sara settled on something simpler. Spaghetti-strapped and overlaid with pieces of black lace it screamed Sara. And it was purple to match her hair.

“Do you think
Jude will like it?” she asked over her lunch of eel sushi. Don’t knock it. It’s delicious. If only I could have eaten it.

I sipped my bland water, and flicked away another French fry with vampire skills to give the illusion that I had eaten something. “
Jude likes anything you wear. You could put on a paper bag and he’d still think you were the only girl in the room.”

She beamed. Amazing, even after all this time she still got all school-girlish over him. “I guess so.” She took another bite, then her demeanor changed. “I’m really going to miss him next year, when we go off to college.”

“I don’t think you have to worry about Jude looking at other girls,” I said, knowing where this was going. “He loves you.”

“I know. That’s why I decided it’s time.”

“Time for what?”

She just looked at me.

“Oh! Oh, God! Sara!”

“What?” Completely ignorant of what could possibly be wrong.

“Too much information.”

“Oh, come on! You’re my best friend. Who else am I supposed to tell?”

“Jude. That’s between you and Jude.”

“Well, yes,
that
is. But you’re shopping with me now, and I want to go there.” She pointed across the food court to the ad for the brand name lingerie store that sat on the other side of the mall.

“Oh, God.”

“Please?” She dragged the word out, smiling sweetly to top it off.

“No.”

“Come on!”

“I don’t want to shop with you for that!”

“It’ll be fun!”

“No, it won’t!”

I lost the fight.

Twenty minutes later I stood in the middle of a room full of bras, underwear and indecent nightgowns while Sara ran from end to end collecting things she thought were interesting.

I tried to stop it, but my mind wandered. One particular white lace set stared at me from a hanger and I couldn’t help myself.

What would Rhys think?

I stepped on my own foot. Hard. Limping a bit, I went to the safer end of the store. The part where they kept bubble bath and hand lotion. I wasn’t ready to start thinking about that part of my relationship with Rhys, and I didn’t think he was either. We both had some things to come to grips with first. I figured it would be mature of me not to think about going further with Rhys until I was at peace with my past lives.

Thinking of it as the mature thing to do made it easier to stick to. Otherwise my teenage hormones might have gotten the upper hand.

The whole thing did make me wonder though…

Sara made her selection quickly, thank God, and we got out of there in a more timely fashion than I had anticipated. I hadn’t caught Millie’s scent in a while. She’d done of good job of giving me some semblance of privacy.

Sara and I did a bit more superfluous shopping—shoes, hats, scarves—then headed home. We’d made it the whole way with nothing more than simple banter, but when she pulled onto my street she changed the subject out of the blue.

“So are you bringing anyone to the party?”

“Who would I bring?”

“Oh, I don’t know. Maybe that gorgeous bodyguard of yours. Where is he anyway?”

“He has the day off,” I said, not intending it to come out as snippy as it did. “And why would you think I’d bring him to the party?”

“Other than because he’s hot?”

“Nice, Sara.”

“Because you like him.”

“How do you figure that?” I’d never done anything to imply that, and I had certainly never said anything.

“I can tell. Everyone can tell.”

Great. She pulled into my driveway. “I’m getting out now,” I said in a sing-songy voice, reaching for the handle.

“I know I’m right now,” she sang back to me.

I grabbed my bags from the back seat. “Aren’t you special?” I kept up with the singing. “Goodbye now.”

“See you later.” Still singing, and smiling evilly.

I shut the door and waved her off. I could see her snickering to herself as she drove away. Millie appeared at my side almost instantly.

“Well, you had a nice day,” she said.

“How do you do that? When do I get to do that appearing out of thin air thing?”