Eternal (Eternal series) (18 page)

“
Well, he kind of asked me out again when I went to tell him that we were just going to be friends.  I didn’t know what to say to get out of it.  I was going to call it off, but for some reason I couldn’t.  That seems to be an impossibility with him," Emma wondered to herself why that was.  "I’m sorry you didn't know Micah, I haven't talked to you since he asked me.  Does that upset you—I mean that we are going out again—because I could still cancel...” 

Emma knew that it wouldn’t be that easy to actually cancel.  After all she hadn’t been able to do it either time she'd talked to him before, and nothing had changed since then.

“No, of course not,"
Micah said plainly.
  "Why should that upset me?  I’m really not involved Emma.”

“
Not involved?!”  Emma was the one that was upset now!  Hadn't he just made it a point to involve himself by dragging her out here to the barn for who knows what reason, and now he was conveniently claiming uninvolvement?  “I can’t handle this at the moment. I'm late!” 

Emma turned and began to walk away. 

As she neared the door she felt the air around her change and something touched her shoulder. 

She couldn't believe that he actually had the nerve to try and hold her back after he'd just claimed that he was in no way involved with her life?  She spun back around, angry at his audacity in thinking he could keep her here, and suddenly…

...there he was…

Chapter 14:  SEEING

Emma could see him!  Micah was standing right in front of her.  She couldn’t bring her mind to believe what her eyes were seeing.  She could never have imagined anything more glorious than he was. 

He wore dark pants and a dark button up shirt that was unbuttoned at the top exposing his chest and showing his perfect form. He was tall and wrapped in lean muscle.  His eyes were the deepest blue, and at the same time so full of light that they appeared almost transparent.  His hair was dark, almost black, and wavy.  His face was smooth and perfect, and he was surrounded by a thin outline of pure light. 

His face was angular with strong cheek bones and it was so familiar to her, like she had known him from somewhere before.  The funny thing is that at the same time he wasn’t what she'd expected.  Not to say that he wasn’t beautiful and perfect like Emma knew he would be, just that he was different than she had imagined him somehow. 

She was unbelievably happy to finally be able to see his face, but she realized she had expected something more powerful out of this moment. 

When Emma had dreamt of it countless times before, it had felt more complete than this;
she
had felt more complete, like all the pieces of a puzzle coming together. 

Emma had assumed everything would become clear and simple, but it didn’t feel that way. 

She had wanted this for such a long time. Now that it was happening Emma was taken off guard by the immenseness of it all.  So like the dork she was, she stumbled backward in surprise. 

“
Don’t be afraid Emma, it’s just me."  Micah's voice was just as soft and soothing as before.  His ageless blue eyes were calm and penetrating, and his smile was breathtaking.

“
I’m not afraid,” Emma's voice shook.  “I just can’t believe it’s really you.  You’re here, I mean… I can see you.  I thought that you didn’t want me to see you.”  She was staring wide eyed at him unable to even blink for fear that he might disappear if she did.

“
I never said that I didn’t want you to see me Emma, only that there was no reason for you to see me.”  He spoke calmly, and matter-of-factly, like this was no big deal.  Emma felt like she was going to hyperventilate.

“
What’s the reason now?" Emma asked with wonderment.  "I’m not complaining or anything,” she wanted to make that perfectly clear.  “I’m just wondering what prompted this?  I still can’t believe it!” 

“
I guess I didn’t want you to leave just now.  I could tell that you were upset with me.  I don’t know, I can’t explain it.  I just felt like it was necessary.”  His velvet voice made Emma feel like she was melting. 

She needed to pull herself together.  She didn’t want to miss a moment of this just because she was becoming a puddle on the floor.  This was big, and what if it never happened again?  What if this was her only chance.

“Can I touch you?”  She asked hesitantly.

“
I’m not flesh and bone like you Emma.  I’m a different kind of matter.  I guess you could say that I’m pure energy.  I’m the energy that fills your body with life.  So you can’t really touch me in the sense of how you'd touch another human, but there is a way our spirits can connect.  It would be like your definition of touch.”

“
Okay,” Emma said as she tried to calm her thundering heart.

Micah reached his hand slowly, hesitantly toward her, not wanting to frighten her, and ran his finger lightly down the side of her face.

Just like he'd said, it was nothing like human touch, this was warm and very light, like the feel of the sun on your skin, or goose bumps, and there was an intense tingling almost electrical sensation that accompanied it.

Emma felt it deep inside, like it really was connecting with her own spirit. 

She was practically frozen in time while her mind tried to grasp hold of the fact that Micah was touching her!  It was the most amazing sensation she had ever experienced and it didn't last nearly long enough to satiate the hunger for more it created in her.

“
Thank you,” were the only words that came to Emma's mouth.  She knew that it was a silly thing to say, but she was turning to butter again.  “That was amazing!”

“
I liked it too,” his eyes were peaceful as he spoke.
 
“We don’t experience human touch very often.  It’s kind of a treat for me as well.”
 
Micah smiled and Emma's whole being felt like it was smiling with him.

“
You're beautiful,” Emma swooned, and then hoped that she hadn’t offended his manliness.  Most guys wouldn’t appreciate a girl telling them that they were beautiful, but no other word did him justice.  He was tall and muscular, perfectly proportioned.

“
I’m glad you’re pleased.   I think we're all sort of beautiful to mortals though.  It’s probably the heavenly glow.”  He laughed lightly and Emma thought his glow became more intense in that moment, if that was even possible. “So, am I what you expected?” His unfathomable eyes were questioning now.

Emma knew that she couldn’t tell him what she'd been thinking when she'd first seen him.  He hadn't been what she'd expected, but she didn’t know what the unmet expectation was that he hadn’t lived up to. 

Emma couldn’t explain the void that she felt when she looked into his eyes.  He was the most beautiful and perfect thing she'd ever seen.  But there was a small part of her that was still waiting for something else to show itself.  There had to be something more.  Something was missing. 

“
You are perfect Micah.”  It was the truth, and it was all that she could give him.

“
I hope you realize how important you are to me Emma.  Showing myself to you was a big step for both of us.  Things can never go back to the way they were before.  We're more connected now than ever.”
 

His eyes were burning into her.  She could feel pure love flowing from him and it was aimed directly at her.  Emma didn't know how to react. She was shocked that he was talking to her this way.  He'd always been very reserved in the things he’d said to her before.  Was this some kind of confession on his part?

“I’ve been waiting a long time to be more connected to you too, Micah.  You're the most important thing in my life,” Emma admitted truthfully.

Micah reached out and stroked her cheek again.  She leaned into it.  She loved feeling this close to him.

"How is this possible if you're pure spirit?" Emma wondered.  "Shouldn't I be able to see right through you or something?"

"I draw particles out of the air around me so that I can appear solid, but I'm still just energy, that's why I can't touch you like a human would."

"I like how it feels when you touch me," Emma smiled.

“
I should probably go now Emma.  I can’t stay in this form for very long.  It’s actually quite a lot of work keeping everything together like this.  And, the way your heart is pounding, I'm afraid it might stop altogether if I stay much longer.”

“
But I’m not ready for you to go yet,” she was afraid for him to leave. 

Would he ever show himself to her again?  Would this euphoric feeling that she was experiencing go away with him?

“You’ll see me again Emma, I promise.”  Micah said, answering her thoughts.  He sounded pleased that Emma wanted him to stay.  “I really must go though.  Don’t worry, I won’t be far away.  I'm always with you, remember?”

He smiled warmly as his form began to grow fuzzy and to split up into a million pieces that resembled tiny fireflies flying at a rapid speed in a swirling configuration and then shooting out in every direction. 

He was gone. 

The barn suddenly seemed very dark without his warm glow, and Emma felt very alone, very vulnerable.  She didn’t like the feeling.  She ran out of the barn trying to escape the emptiness that had been left behind with Micah's departure.

She'd already missed Calculus in all the excitement.  She knew she wasn’t in any shape to go back to school anyway.  So she went to her room and fell onto her bed in a daze and tried to memorize the feeling she had just experienced so she could keep it forever.

There is a saying: Faith is believing without seeing, but this was different.  Emma had actually seen Micah.  She could not deny what she now knew—yes, Emma
knew
it!  She had seen it with her own eyes.

Thinking back, Micah had said she was important to him.  Could it be possible that he was finally reciprocating the feelings she'd held for him for so long? 

Showing himself to her, and touching her, was definitely a big step in the right direction.  However, Emma couldn't be positive about his intent. 

One thing was for sure though—she couldn’t wait to experience it again.



He’d crossed the line and he knew it.  Desperation had driven him over the edge.  The elation he felt at having her see him and touching her, couldn’t override the guilt it brought on for long. 

He had never planned on it going this far, but he’d been hurt when she couldn’t hear him.  She was forgetting about him, losing interest.

She wasn’t supposed to have feelings for him at all.  He wasn’t supposed to feel these things for her, but somehow it had happened.  He should have left well enough alone.  She was moving on with life.  That’s what he wanted for her.  But he couldn’t bear being left behind.

This jealousy emotion was like the plague.  It ate at you and ate at you until you finally gave in.  There was no other choice. 

Micah knew that wasn’t true; there was always a choice, and he’d just made the wrong one.



Spring was always unpredictable in Eden.  The extreme elevation kept them in wintry weather a little longer than in places lower down.  Emma was always looking forward to the warmth that summer would bring, but it never came fast enough.  When summer finally did arrive here, it didn’t last nearly long enough.
It seemed her convictions and thoughts had become as unpredictable and changing as the seasons.

She sat up in bed and stared out the window at the brightening sky.  There had been a fast moving snowstorm over night.  A thin layer of snow blanketed everything.  Her mind was a mess again as it often seemed to be lately.

Emma was having a hard time convincing herself that yesterday hadn’t been just a dream. It was Wednesday and her date with Destry was looming.  Emma couldn't deny that she'd been excited about it before, but after seeing Micah, she wasn’t sure how she should feel. 

She knew now that today was going to be pivotal. 

Micah had taken their relationship to an all new level.  Emma had yearned for that level but now that she'd reached it she felt stuck between a rock and a hard place.

On one side there was Micah who was perfect and beautiful and who trusted her enough to show himself. 

She was plagued by the thought that their relationship might never be able to go any further though.  He was immortal which meant no flesh and bone.  He could touch her spirit, and it was an indescribable sensation, but she couldn’t really
touch
him. 

Emma ached to be able to touch him.

And then on the other side Destry had come into her life.  He was perfect too—of course he had his little human flaws—but he was so thoughtful and kind and handsome.  Emma found herself filled with a million tiny butterflies whenever he was near. 

He made her smile with his crooked grin and his easy-to-love personality.  And then there were his eyes, something about his beautiful sparkling eyes drew her to him like a moth to a flame.

Emma threw herself back down on her bed in frustration.  She squoze her eyes shut tightly, not sure she wanted to face this day.