Eternal Embrace (34 page)
Mandy blinked quickly, realising Mac was serious. “That’s me, you idiot!”
Mac stared at her in confusion. “How the hell is that you? I’ve known you since you were a kid, and no way is that your name.”
She smirked just to see him tighten his jaw. Really, Mac had always been quick to anger, but he’d changed, in ways she couldn’t keep up with but, for some reason, thrilled her. Simply sparring with him like this was more than she’d ever dreamt she’d be able to do. He’d been absent from her life much longer than the five lonely years she’d been in Africa. Now, he’d practically torn her door down to get to her?
If she wasn’t absolutely certain she’d not fallen asleep, she’d have believed this was some kind of dream.
He snorted sexy as heck through his nose, and she went all tingly.
No! No tingly. Anger. Anger is much, much better. He was a jerk to you!
“Oh? Well, can you please tell the hospital where I was born ‘cause that—”
“Elisa?”
She winced. That name was so not her. “Okay, so I don’t use that. Amanda is my middle name.”
His brow lowered at the confession like she’d given him some lead he was now going to nail her for. She nearly smiled, but held it in.
“And? Gonzales?”
She stared at him for a bit before shrugging. “Yeah, so?”
He rocked back and lowered his head, but kept his hazel eyes on hers. Sexy didn’t even begin to describe him.
“You and Rob have different last names?”
“Geez, didn’t you ever wonder why Sarge hated me? And you’re the best of the best?” she muttered. “My brother would be so proud.”
He simply stared at her, his gaze flickering over her face, hair, then down to her lips until she wanted to lick her lips so badly she had to fist her hands on the chair arms to stop the urge from becoming reality. Out of sheer desperation she blurted, “I can’t believe you never knew that. How is that possible? I mean the best training in the world and you can’t find out what my real name is?”
As she imagined he would, he jerked his head back and frowned at her. “Hey, wait one second there, sugar, I’m much better than that.”
She rolled her eyes.
“So, you just left using your own ID. That’s how, but I want to know why.”
Now they were entering tricky territory. She’d just arrived, and so far, so good. No attacker would find her here, anyway. And if Mac didn’t know her last name… She discounted that as quickly as she’d thought it. Mac hadn’t known because he was too close to her, too into her world, since she’d been little. He’d assumed. Her attacker had known her number, where she’d worked, where she’d parked her car and what days she’d had school and what days she’d studied at the library. He’d even known what market she went to, and probably where she’d kept her hidden stash of Zingers at home. No way would he not know her real name. But would he be looking for her still? Why bother?
“Mandy, come on, sugar,” Mac urged.
Sugar
. She loved that. He’d never called her anything but Mandy, or scaredy-cat. Not until the one and only night he’d shared her bed. Then he’d called her sugar in his deep, husky voice while he’d made love to her.
She wanted to tell him everything when he looked at her like that. But she couldn’t. She couldn’t tell him that she’d left because he’d cheated on her and some lunatic would have killed him if she’d stayed.
His phone buzzed, breaking the silent battle of wills. He pointed a finger in her face and got his phone out of his cargo shorts with his other hand. “You’re staying here. Right here in this room—”
The complete jerk! Two minutes back in her life and he thought he could order her around like she was ten all over again? She had news for him—she’d not only grown up, she’d grown a backbone. “You can’t keep me in here. I’m supposed to meet Lacey for a swim—”
“Too bad.” He stood and she got up too. Watching him, she frowned at the door but he caught her looking, flipped his phone open, and pointed a finger at her to stay.
“Hey, what’s up?” he asked into the phone, then paused, grimacing and muttered, “Not much. Nah, gonna take a break. Maybe in a bit.”
He turned away and said, “Yeah, I have.” Another pause and she moved an inch just to see what he’d do and he turned to watch her. How did he do that?
“Yeah. Thanks, man, I’ll catch up with you later, Trigger.” He clipped his phone closed with a snap and set it on her table. With a heavy sigh, he anchored his fists on his hips and stared at her, his tanned face all business. Her heart skipped a beat at how handsome he was, then slowed at the long line of a scar running along his jaw and down his neck. Before she could ask him what had happened, he said, “Now, tell me. Tell me why you left, Mandy.”
She turned sideways and gazed at the surf crashing below them. What could she say? He’d done more damage than the attacker because her wounds had all healed, good as new, but her heart, her heart still ached for him. Talking to him now, all she wanted to do was throw her arms around him and demand he explain why he’d been such a jerk.
He took a step towards her, and she fought the tears rising up. She could still remember how painful it’d been to walk into that bar and see the gorgeous brunette rubbing all over Mac. Now he barged in here and acted like all he had to do was say how sorry he was and she’d fall back into his arms, be the little girl that thought he hung the moon.
No one hung the moon.
“Mandy, just tell me. Come on—”
“Why? Why did I leave?” Anger washed over her, stilling some of the hurt. The pain mixed with it, making her tremble. “How dare you ask me that? How dare you, Mac? You know damn good and well why I left, remember? Our mistake. Remember? The fucking mistake you said—”
“Look, I was wrong that night. I tried to tell you that, to call, but you’d left by then and—”
He’d been wrong that night? Now he realised that? Five years later?
Doesn’t matter, Mandy. Does not matter. That lunatic could still be out there. Think, girl. Mac didn’t call you that night. If Mac didn’t call you to come to the club, you know it had to be one of the guys. If the guys are here, at the wedding, one of them could be the attacker. Think, think, girl.
She steeled herself and faced him. “You made it clear you didn’t want me, Mac. Why would I wait around?”
He stared at her with such a look of amazement that she rubbed her face to hide the fresh wash of tears. “You need to leave, I think you know how, or do you need me to fall asleep first, so you can sneak out?”
“Fuck, Mandy, I told you we’d talk when I got back. I told you—”
“You told me, all right. You made everything perfectly clear. You told me you didn’t want me!”
“What?” He shook his head hard. “Where the fuck did you get that idea?”
“Oh, just go.”
“I’m not moving so get used to it. I want answers. When did I make that clear? Damn it, tell me when I made that clear!”
“You never bothered with me before.” She anchored her fists on her hips and faced off with him. He wanted the truth, she’d give him all of it. All but the attack. “We both know you regretted when you did slip up and what? Gave me a sympathy fuck? I mean, come on, what should I have expected from you? You’re the just get up and get out kinda guy, right? Wasn’t that what you always said?”
“Listen, Mandy, you and I both know I said I was coming back—”
“No, you and I both don’t know. I remember some of it, though. What was it?” She tapped her lip thoughtfully then snapped her fingers. “Oh, I remember… This was a fucking mistake, Mandy. We should never have done this. Drunk and fucking don’t mix, sugar.”
“I was thinking of you—”
“You were not thinking of me. You—”
“I sure the hell was thinking of you. Damn, do you even know how long I’d held back? How many times I’d come home, wanting you so bad it ached? Do you?” He breathed out roughly and speared her with a look that had her freezing in place. He looked so intense, so ready to blow, not at her, but apart, that she didn’t dare move. He tugged at his hair once, then dropped his arm with a heavy exhale. “It was always you, always you for me. I pushed you away because I knew, I fucking knew, Mandy, once I claimed you, I’d never let you go.”
He grimaced and broke off, stalking up to her and wrapping his hands around her upper arms, pulling her closer until they were nose to nose. She could feel the heat of him along her front. His breath was minty, warm, and his lips so close she wanted to cry at how badly he’d hurt her, how badly it still hurt.
“You were in pain over losing a brother, and I took advantage of that, telling even myself it was for you, to help with the pain, but I took you. I took you out of pure selfishness.”
She shook her head silently, a tear spilling down past her control. “I don’t believe you, Mac,” she whispered the words on a ragged breath.
“Mandy, the only regret I have in my life is waiting so damn long.”
“You liar!” She struggled, pulling away, but he hauled her back in. “You liar. You always pushed me away. It was always a new one for you, always.
Always
.”
She’d survived these past five years by forcing herself to believe that, to keep it close and not go to him when she’d finally figured out it hadn’t been Mac who’d called her the night she’d seen him with another woman. The attacker had jumped her that night, forced her up against a wall outside the club and had nearly raped, then beaten her, threatening to kill Mac if she didn’t leave. She’d barely made it to her car. All this time, she’d survived by telling herself she’d never have been enough for Mac. He needed his women, not one woman. Not her.
He bent his head, grimacing when another tear broke free to slip down her cheek.
“Damn, sugar, you’re killing me. Those women? Shit, those women wanted nothing more than a quick lay. That’s all they ever were and hell, you were young, so damn pretty, I—”
“Not that young. Not too young to—”
“You were.” He touched their foreheads, but she shook her head and looked down, refusing to allow him to tip her face up with a hand. “Damn it, Mandy. Fuck, hate me for being an idiot, but I was trying to give you time. Time to grow up without me holding you too tight. You were just a kid when I first took one look at you and realised no one else was going to do.”
At his words, she softened. Something inside her went away, the pain, the hurt, the anger simply settled, eased slowly until she could take a breath without it hurting. He’d not explained the other woman, but what he did say, she heard, could hear without denying it outright. Maybe the attacker was here, maybe he was watching, but Ace had the place under guard for Lacey. Could the guy get past that, to reach Mac when he might not even know she was here, in Hawaii and not Florida?
She’d have to tell Mac, she realised. He’d need to know why she’d really left, then he’d want to know when, and what her attacker had done. She could tell him what, but not when. If he knew when… She looked up at him and understood, if he knew when, he’d never forgive himself.
Mac had always been a hero.
Was he strong enough to keep them both safe?
About the Author
Billi Jean has been writing since high school when she couldn’t wait for Robert Jordon to write his
Wheel of Time
series faster. She writes from home in a little two hundred year old farm house in Western Massachusetts where she shares her space with her active children, an old dog, and two lazy cats.
Email:
[email protected]
Billi Jean loves to hear from readers. You can find her contact information, website and author biography at
http://www.totallybound.com
.
Also by Billi Jean
Love’s Command: Running Scared
Love’s Command: Safe in His Arms
Sisterhood of Jade: A Spartan’s Kiss
Sisterhood of Jade: Golden’s Rule
Sisterhood of Jade: Sorcha’s Wolf
Totally Bound Publishing
