Espino, Stacey - Hardcore Cowboys [Ride 'em Hard 1] (Siren Publishing Ménage Amour) (18 page)

Wyatt joined his brothers in the truck. Not one of them said a word. Where would they go from here? They had no way of knowing if Samantha was on her way home or just gone into town. Somehow he knew it was over. How would they find her? How many Samantha Browns lived in the largest city in
Canada
?

Val broke the silence. “Now what?”

“Do either of you think she was a gold digger?” Cord nearly whispered the words.

“She was near death when I found her. She never asked for anything, not even our love. That girl was sweetness wrapped up in the hottest package I’ve ever seen. Now she’s gone,” said Wyatt.

“Surely she didn’t believe Angel. She knew we never thought ill of her, didn’t she?” Val's eyes looked haunted.

Cord started the truck and made a three point turn to get off the property. They made their way home to an empty house.

* * * *

Tears blurred her vision as she pulled onto the highway heading home. Things looked so different when the windshield wasn’t being assaulted by snow and sleet. The boy at the gas station had directed her how to get home to
Toronto
, and that’s where she belonged. This fantasy had blown up in her face. Whether her cowboys agreed with Angel’s accusation or not, that woman couldn’t be the only one who thought negatively of her. She should never have counted on a problem-free future with men she barely knew.
Three men.
What had she been thinking?

At least she had a job to go home to, a better one than when she left. She wasn’t sure if her apartment waited for her, and she had to deal with the rental company. The window was shattered, and she’d had it much longer than agreed on. That would no doubt cost her a pretty penny she didn’t have. Claudette probably tried to call her to see if she was able to send any money up north. She couldn’t even deal with her sister now. If she did, she may just break down completely. If she wanted to survive until she got on her feet and healed her broken heart, she’d have to become numb, to put on a mask of disinterest and stay away from potentially emotional situations.

She arrived in the big city much faster than it had taken her to get to
Alberta
. The weather had been remarkably pleasant during the drive, which was good since she had one missing window. She still had to wear her coat and hat due to the wind whipping in the driver’s side opening. Hunger rarely caused her discomfort. Her mind was too transfixed on what she’d left behind. Seeing the tall buildings, heavy traffic, and hectic life of
Toronto
was almost enough to pull her into its grip and allow her to forget the past.
Out of sight, out of mind
. Not so simple. Even glancing at the multitude of men walking the streets or waiting at red lights only had her mentally comparing them to Wyatt, Cord, and Val. No man would ever be good enough, not after she’d had the best of the best.

Samantha already missed the slower pace, the wide-open space where her eyes could rove without an obstacle to hinder the view. She missed the lazy mornings, cuddling by the open fire at night, and listening to the playful banter between brothers. There, she’d been everything. Here, she’d be literally one of six million, an insignificant number and nothing more. Should she have fought? Should she have confronted the men with what Angel said and let them make up their own minds if they wanted her around or not?
Too late now.
She could only go forward from here.

Chapter Nineteen

“You’re the one who wanted to keep everything a secret!” Val accused his twin as he threw his hands up in the air. They’d indeed come home to an empty house, and it broke Val apart on the inside. They came full circle, now back to being alone with no future. It was harder after having a taste of paradise. Val couldn’t help the multitude of emotions rolling through him once they stepped in the door.

He felt bitter and angry, looking for anything or anyone to blame.

“Fuck you, Val.” Cord kicked off his boots and threw his coat near the base of the rack and stormed into the kitchen. He pulled a beer from the fridge and popped the top off on the counter.

“What about his shithole? I didn’t see you doing anything to fix up the place. What kind of woman would want to live here? It’s not a home, it’s a museum of a life that’s not even hers. For God’s sake you could have at least made an effort!” Val felt like a virtual volcano about to erupt, and he didn’t care who he brought down with him. His grief—knowing she was gone with no way to track her—was too much to bear.

“You little prick!” Cord set his beer on the counter and barreled forward, his weight stealing Val’s air as he forced him into the nearest wall. His twin reached a fist back to strike, but he ducked to the side in time. Cord’s fist broke through the plaster finish of the wall. “Fuck!” He pulled back and shook his white-powdered fist.

“What’s going on?” Wyatt slammed the door shut behind him and stomped into the room, not even removing his snow encrusted boots. “Fighting? Is that gonna help our situation?”

“Nothing will
help
our situation. Samantha’s hurt and run off. Do you have her address? Telephone number? No!” Val turned away from his brothers, looking for an inanimate object to expel his energy. He eyed the mantle, one of many windows into the past they dared not touch over the years. Raising the back of his wrist at the end, he dragged his arm across the length of the display, sending all the memorabilia and pictures flying off the opposite end. He wasn’t done there. “I’m sick of living in this godforsaken house!” Val kicked over furniture, pulled down pictures, and attempted to rip down the out-of-date wallpaper.

His brothers attempted to subdue him, but it just turned into a regular brawl when they were all as passionate about their loss and lot in life.

“Don’t act as if you loved her, Valentine! You knew her for a couple weeks. You don’t know what love is,” said Cord, straddling his waist, his breathing come out in heavy pants.

“And you do? At least I’m honest with my feelings and not trying to hide them. The
great lover
, Cordell Carson—the one who never gets hurt because he doesn’t give a shit.”

Cord rolled off to the side, now lying on his back against the wood floor. He draped an arm over his eyes and let out a heavy breath. The room was a mess, more than a mess. Their carefully maintained window into the past had been shattered.

“I’m scared,” Cord muttered, barely audible.

Wyatt sat next to Val. The energy had been sucked out of the room, leaving them all broken. “Don’t be. How can you love someone if you ain’t willing to risk anything? Isn’t she worth the risk of getting hurt?”

“Yes, but it’s too late. It’s too fucking late.”

Chapter Twenty

Samantha pulled Keith to the side in the back kitchen. “Don’t you dare try to step on my authority in front of the staff,” she whispered harshly. “I’m in charge until three o’clock. Until then, back off.”

She stormed out the swinging doors, holding back the smile once she left the room. It felt good to have some power over her old dictator of a boss. Unlike him, she actually gave a shit about the staff, and she noticed their productivity and morale was much higher when she was on shift. Maybe the higher management would notice that and replace Keith sooner or later.

As soon as the clock struck three, she grabbed her purse out of the staff room and escaped before she could be called back for something. She walked the downtown strip with her head held high. The mid-June sun felt strong as it warmed her face. Everything was going her way. Her new job was working out well, she was able to send her sisters money every month, and she didn’t have to count pennies. She had a new found confidence now that she moved up the ranks at work, even taking better care of herself. Last month she got her first manicure with one of the waitresses at work. It was fun, although she hadn’t gone back. Samantha just wasn’t the high maintenance type. She walked past clothing stores and fast-food joints. When she walked by one of the music stores, the speakers above the doors were playing a country and western song. She’d never been a big fan of the genre, but it brought back a flood of memories, stealing her breath.

Every day since returning from
Alberta
had been a challenge, although easier as time went on. But every once in a while a sight, sound, or smell would transport her back to the
Carson
ranch, leaving her empty and bereft. Why hadn’t they come for her like knights in shining armor? She chuckled to herself as she moved toward the subway entrance. This was real life, not a romance, and besides, the brothers had no clue where she lived. She never even mentioned the name of the restaurant where she worked. So, unless she decided to crawl back, she’d never see them again.

There had been long, lonely nights when she had the phone in her hand, ready to call directory assistance. She always chickened out. Months had passed, and they’d probably moved on to better things. Summer months were busy on a cattle ranch, and perhaps Wyatt returned to the rodeo. The thought of him getting hurt hammered at her heart, but she forced the emotion away. She’d become so good at being the ice queen, but how long could she maintain that icy façade?

Hours later she unlocked the door to her apartment and crashed on her sofa. Even with a promotion, a car and all the related expenses was out of the question. Every day, she came home just as exhausted as she was when waitressing alone. There were two messages on her machine. One was from Dave, that asshole. As soon as he found out she was doing better things with her life, he started calling again. She’d told him to fuck off, but that never stopped him. He’d probably finished with his last girl and needed another part-timer to fill in the gaps in his dating schedule.

The next was from UPS. She’d missed a delivery. It wasn’t her birthday. Her sisters always had balloons or flowers sent to her once a year since she was a teenager. It was always fun to get something special delivered to the door. She called the 1-800 number and they said they’d send the parcel right over.

While she waited, she changed into her casual clothing and washed her face.

About twenty minutes later, UPS was buzzing to get into the building. She let them in and waited for the knock on her door.

“Ms. Brown?”

“That’s me.” She smiled as she looked at the big bouquet of flowers the delivery man held—clear cellophane, ribbons, and a menagerie of colors beneath. After signing his tablet, she took her gift and closed the door. Flowers? Her first thought was her cowboy brothers. Her breath hitched as she sat on the sofa to open the envelope.

Dear Samantha,

Please give me another chance. I won’t be stupid again.

Dave

She growled her displeasure and crinkled up the note in her fist. She’d have tossed the flowers in the garbage chute if they weren’t so beautiful. Dave was an asshole for continuing to pester her after she made herself clear that she wanted nothing to do with him. He’d carved her self-respect out and disposed of her for another woman, but now she was supposed to forget all that? But her true pain was not having a connection to the
Carson
brothers. Every day she hoped, prayed, dreamed. When the phone rang, door knocked, someone called out her name at work, her first thought was always them.

Rather than mope for the rest of the evening, she decided she’d take a walk to the local park, maybe pick up a tea and sandwich from the coffee shop and eat it on a wooden bench. Her social life had perked up somewhat. She went out with girls from work on occasion but couldn’t even think about another relationship, not when her heart was taken.

“Nice day out.”

Samantha turned from her seat to see a stranger standing behind her bench. She’d been mesmerized, watching the children play in the park, spinning impossible fairy tales in her head of her own kids that may never come to be. The man was tall, built, with a menacing air about him. He didn’t look like one of the fathers or even like he belonged in the city. In fact, he reminded her of a cowboy, out of place in the urban landscape.

“Yes, it’s beautiful.”

He leaned over the back of the bench, too much in her personal space for comfort. Normally, she’d be flattered by attention from such a stud, but not now. “Listen, you’re Samantha Brown, aren’t you? Please tell me you are.”

She shuffled to the end of the bench and scowled. Even though a spike of fear entered her system hearing the stranger say her name, she was surrounded by people, which gave her some courage. “How do you know my name?”

He smirked. “Good.” Then he exhaled and flipped open a cell phone. “Got her. Where? Okay.” After his call he said, "Listen, darlin', you've got to come with me."

Chapter Twenty-One

Their plan had been a long time coming, but would it be enough, or even too late? Wyatt sat on the edge of the tailgate, waiting for Chase to bring Samantha to them. His heart was thumping so hard in his chest, he could hear it in his ears.

“What if she has a boyfriend now? It’s been over two months.” Val paced the area, wearing a trail into the grass. “What if she’s moved on? What if she can’t stand the sight of us?”

“Hush,” said Wyatt. He had his own worries without reassuring Val. If she rejected them, at least they could say they tried. Living life with the regret of not making a move would have eaten him alive.