Escaping Me (28 page)

I nod my head, agreeing with her, but still remembering how notorious I am for screwing shit up.

“I'll meet you at the bar as soon as I'm done packing.  I'll be quick,” she promises as she rises up on her toes and places a kiss on my chin. “Love you,” she grins as she slips her flip-flops on and walks out the door.  She was right about one thing.  I definitely need a drink.

I talk to my brother on my way to Pauly's, hoping his drama with Megan will distract me.  He fills me in on getting his marriage annulled and how Megan is fighting it just to be a bitch.

“I'm sorry for the way she treated Whitney at the wedding,” he begins, “and I'm sorry I didn't see her for what she really is.”

“
Don't worry about it,” I tell him.  “She's a conniving bitch.”

“
She really is,” he laughs through his pain.  “I shouldn't have believed a word that came out of her mouth.  I'm sorry that I believed her when she said there was nothing going on between you two.  I lied when I said I didn't know you were together,” he confesses.  “I wasn't thinking clearly.  She told me you two broke up months ago and then she got pregnant, then the wedding... I guess what I'm trying to say is I should have put you first. You're my brother.”  It is nice to hear his apology.  Like I said before, I wouldn’t want things to have played out any other way.  I am happy with Whitney, and Megan is nothing but a regret in my past.  Finn tells me that he is going to come out to Georgia for a visit when he finishes dealing with his future ex-wife, and I tell him to call me if he needs anything.  It feels good to be able to offer my brother a sympathetic ear or a place to escape his troubles back home.  For once, I am the brother who has it all together.  I feel my chest tighten under the pressure to keep it that way.

When I arrive at Pauly's, Missy greets me with a cold beer and a shot of my favorite whiskey.

“You always know what I need,” I chuckle and throw back the shot.

“
Bartender's intuition,” she shrugs.  “You ready for the big move?”

“
Can we not talk about it?” I ask, nudging my empty glass forward and nodding for another pour.

“
Things are going to be fine,” she reassures me, pouring another shot.  “You need to relax.”  That is the thing.  The more I try to relax, and the more I drink, the harder it becomes to rationalize that Whitney and I are going to be okay.  I am in full blown panic mode.  Every single thing that could go wrong is swarming my brain. 
What if the business doesn’t take off?  What if she realizes she is too good for me?  What if she meets somebody else before she transfers?

Zeke arrives about the time the room starts to spin and pulls the shot glass from my hand.

“I think you've had enough, Pritch.” He sits down in the stool next to me and pats me on the back.  I sit up, trying to sober up.  “Over-serve much, Miss?”

“
Hey,” she fires back.  “He grabbed the bottle on the last two!” 

“
I'm fine,” I slur as Missy slides a glass of water down to me.  I snatch it up in my hand and raise it above my head. “Here's to everything getting fucked up,” I toast and take a big drink.

“
What are you talking about?” Zeke asks.  “From where I see it, everything is going pretty fucking good in your life.”

“
Yeah, well, wait until I screw it all up.”  I rest my arms against the bar and fight to hold my head up.  “She's going to leave me. I know it.”

“
Such a drama queen,” Missy says, leaning back against the shelf behind her and shaking her head.

“
No shit,” Zeke agrees.  “You gotta stop expecting the worst out of yourself.”

“
You'll see.” I shake my head. “I have no idea what I'm doing.  I have no idea how to run a business, and I've never had a relationship that actually worked out.  Whit's going to realize I'm a loser just like everyone else has.”

“
You're being ridiculous,” Missy notes.

“
Come on, Debbie Downer.” Zeke pats me on the back and stands up.  “Let me take you home so you can sober up before Whitney sees you acting like this.”

I start to stand, but I quickly stumble as my feet hit the floor. I am much more drunk than I anticipated.  I sit back down. 

“You know what.  I think I'll stay.” I mumble and point to my shot glass, trying to get Missy to fill it back up.  Zeke tells me again to get my ass up and quit being pathetic, but all that does is make me want a drink even more.  I am being pathetic.  I've become too dependent on Whitney and now it is all biting me in the ass.

“
I think he's right.” I hear Whitney's voice and quickly turned in my seat.  “It's time to go home.” 
Fucking perfect.
Now she'll see how big of a failure I really am.  The way she is looking at me, like I am pitiful, is too much.

“
I'll be okay.” I shoo her away.  “I'm doing you a favor.  You'll be better off without me.”

“
Are you kidding me?” she scoffs, grabbing my arm.  “Get your ass up and let's go.”  Zeke is no help.  He goes around to my other side and the two of them practically drag me to my truck.  After Whit fishes the keys out of my pocket, I fight to stand on my own two feet and climb into the cab.  Zeke pats the side of the truck and Whitney starts the engine.  She doesn't say a word the entire drive home.  Instead, I watch with one eye closed as she wrings her hands around the steering wheel and fights back the tears in her eyes.

When she puts the truck in park in front of my house and jumps out, I am sure she is going to call her sister or mom to come get her, but instead she stomps up the front steps and through the front door.  She leaves it open, which tells me I better get my ass up there while it is still an option.

I take in a deep breath and follow her.  I find her pacing the living room.

“
I'm sorry,” I blurt out.  “I shouldn't have had so much to drink.”

“
You think?” she hisses.  “What the hell is wrong with you?  It's our last day together and you're acting like a jackass.”

“
What are you talking about?” I have to sit down.  The alcohol still needs to wear off because somehow I am rationalizing the words that are coming out of my mouth.

“
I heard what you said at the bar,” she admits.  “What are you trying to do?”

I shrug, trying to remember exactly what I said.

“When are you going to stop thinking you're not good enough for me?” She throws her hands up.  “How many times do I have to tell you that you are?”

“
You can say it until you're blue in the face, but it's still not going to change that fact that I'm probably not.”

“
Jesus!” She crosses her arms in frustration.

“
What?” I lean back against the chair.  “I'm just telling the truth.”

“
You know what?”  She walks toward the front door.  “Why don't you sober up and then we can talk about this like adults.”

“
Oh,” I chuckle. “I see! Now that you've finally got shit figured out with your dad you think you're an adult.  I think you're acting like a child if you think that me and you are actually going to work out.”

“
You're a mean drunk, Cole Pritchett.” She slams the door behind her and I hear my truck roar to life.  Not only is she mad at me, but she is also stealing my truck.  I want to get up and chase after her, beg her not to leave and tell her that it was just alcohol talking, but before I know it, I've passed out.

Chapter 29 – Whitney

I am so mad at him that I can’t do anything but drive.  I circle every back road until the gas gauge is on E. 
What got into him?

When I left him earlier, things were perfect.  Then I found him slumped over that barstool acting like he used to before we got together.  I think about everything we’ve been through up until this point—our rocky start as we tried to deny our feelings for one another, the crazy exes, and my father's attempt to detour us.  It has definitely been a summer filled with everyone's attempt to get in our way.  I really thought we were in a good place.  I should have known better than to think the other shoe wouldn't drop.  I probably should have seen this coming.  He's been the one all summer who told me we were going to make it—listening to me spout my insecurities about the move and being apart while keeping his all bottled up.

The sun has set and I know I have to go back to him.  I need to tell him how much I love him and beg him not to throw this away.  He stood by me when my anxieties got the best of me, so I owe it to him to do the same.  I see him pull back the curtains and peek out when I pull in the drive.  He is out the front door and has me wrapped in his arms before I can shut the truck door.

“
I'm so sorry, baby,” he whispers.  “I'm an asshole.”  I pull my face away to look at him before crashing my lips to his.

“
I'm sorry I left,” I say between kisses.

“
You had every right. I was being mean.” He lowers my feet back to the ground and takes my hands in his.  “I let everything get to me.  I should have just told you how I was feeling.”

“
Yeah,” I agree.  “I know exactly how you feel.  Just please don't go and get wasted every time you start to doubt us.  And talk to me.”

“
I wasn't doubting you.  I was doubting me.  I just really don't want to mess this up.”

“
You won't.”  He smiled and leads me back into the house and to the bathroom.  He reaches down, turns on the shower, and starts undressing me, his hands slowly raising my shirt over my head before he lets them trail down the skin of my back and unfasten my bra.  I follow suit and unfasten his jeans as he presses his lips against mine.

“
I know you aren't going to leave me,” he confesses as he pulls his shirt over his head and smiles as he returns his lips to mine, the warm hard plane of his chest pressing against my breasts.  “Even if you wanted to, I wouldn't let you go.  I might screw up everything else in my life, but I'm not going to screw up me and you.”

“
Promise?” I grin against his lips.

“
I do,” he says before removing his pants—and mine—and pulling back the shower curtain. 

“
Me too.” We step under the warm water together, and he quickly lifts me up to wrap my legs around him.  As the water washes over us, taking all remaining doubt of us being together down the drain, we remind each other just how perfectly we fit together.

After our shower, he carries me to bed and we spend a little while longer getting our fill of one another.  After tonight, the next time we'll see each other is a month and half away.  Cole surprised me with tickets to see Trace Corbin and is going to fly home to take me.

I enjoy waking up with him one last time and kiss his lips at least a hundred times before he drops me off at Mom's.  My dad is waiting in the driveway to give me a ride back to school. 

“
Ready to go?” he asks me as he offers a handshake to Cole.  It is nice to see that he is making a genuine effort to get to know him.  “Good to see you.”  Cole nods, returning the sentiment.

“
I guess,” I shrug, not wanting to let go of Cole's hand.  He wraps me in his arms, and my dad takes it as his cue to get in the car.

“
Fifty-four days,” he reminds me.  I kiss him one more time and sulk over to open the door. 

“
Whoa, girl!” Mallory and my mom come out of the barn.  “You forgot something!”  Mallory hugs me and Mom quickly follows suit.

“
I'm gonna miss you, baby,” she whispers in my ear and kisses my cheek.

“
Me too,” Mallory adds.  “And don't worry—I'll keep an eye on this one when I head out to Georgia in a couple weeks.”  Mallory decided that she is ready to meet Vince—after Cole checks him out first, of course.  I am a little jealous that she'll be getting to see more of Cole than I will, but I am happy he'll have someone he knows out there with him.  Plus, if he starts feeling insecure about himself or our relationship again, Mal will quickly whip his ass into shape.

“
I'll call you when we get there,” I reassure my mom before putting one foot in the car.  My sister and mom wave as they walk back to the barn, and Cole leans over the door and kisses me.

“
One more for the road,” he smiles.  “Call me tonight.”

“
I will,” I promise as I sit down, and he closes the door behind me.  I watch him fade out of sight in the rearview mirror.  I really want to cry, but I don't want to cause a big scene in front of my dad, who is asking all kinds of questions about school to distract me.  I also really want to text Cole, but I spent the summer trying to become less dependent on people, especially the men in my life, and I didn't want to backtrack.  Even though my
need
for Cole is completely different than the rest, I am just barely over the county line.  I remind myself to stay strong and breathe deep. 
Fifty-four days.