Escaping Heartbreak (10 page)

SIXTEEN

Travis

I could tell by the look in her eyes that she understood. It was just Waylon and me. She didn’t ask any dreaded questions that I wasn’t prepared to answer. We had an unseen understanding. I couldn’t tell her that because my father died young, and my mother went crazy that I’d had to grow up fast. That at nineteen, I had already
become a father. Now at twenty four, I had responsibilities, more than most grown men. The words would kill me to say, and would kill her to hear. The simple acceptance that lingered in her stare was enough for me.

The three of us sat down at the table. I had already placed Spaghetti and garlic bread on the table.

“This looks great.” Sawyer spoke first.

“Travis makes the best spaghetti.” Waylon said, already piling his plate high. Everyone laughed.

“The best huh? Wait until you have mine.” Sawyer winked at Waylon. Date number two flashed in my mind, not that this was a date. I smiled at the thought. I couldn’t be happier with the way things were going. Truthfully, I thought that it would be weird. I didn’t know that both Sawyer and Waylon would get along so well, and I thought maybe she’d freak when she found out it was just the two of us. If she ever decided that she wanted to take things further with me, then he was part of the deal. He was my responsibility. I wasn’t complaining because I wouldn’t want it any other way. But I didn’t want it to put some kind of weird vibe between us either.

“How’s tutoring going Waylon?” I asked. I already knew the answer. He didn’t put forth any effort what so ever. I didn’t have any way of getting him to buckle down. It was truly killing me.

“Fine,” he looked at me then to Sawyer.

“He’s pretty smart. I think he won’t need tutoring much longer.” Sawyer looked at me then back at Waylon. Was I missing something here? I hadn’t heard one person in the entire school say anything remotely like –he’s pretty smart. I knew he was, but he never tried or let anyone else know. The two of them were looking at their food and back at each other awkwardly.

“What’s going on? Who wants to let me in on the secret?” I asked.

“There’s no secret.” Sawyer said. Waylon shook his head no.

“Uh, huh.” I nodded.  “All right then. I see how this is gonna be.” The two of them just laughed. I took my garlic bread, pulled it apart into two pieces and flung them at their heads. I was sitting in between them so I had a perfect shot at each of them. They were in shock. Waylon tossed his bread back at me, nailing me in the temple. That was all it took. The food fight was underway. I don’t know who threw the first meatball, but Sawyer’s came flying at my head. I didn’t have time to miss it. I turned my head and it caught me right on the cheek. We were all cracking up. Food was everywhere.

“Look at this disaster.” I stated. The kitchen was a mess from top to bottom.

“Do you guys do this often?” Sawyer asked pulling spaghetti from her hair.

Waylon was covered. He shook his head no. It was the truth. The two of us rarely spoke over dinner. We’d been arguing so much lately that it was just easier that way. This was definitely out of the ordinary for
us but in such a good way. We had been in need of some fun, and this was perfect although my kitchen would need an overhaul. It was amazing what a meatball to the head could do. I had a whole new perspective. Fun time with Waylon was what I needed. Once again I owed Sawyer a thank you.

“Hey buddy. Why don’t you go upstairs and get a shower, and get ready for bed. It’s
gonna take you a while to get all that sauce out of your hair.”

“Yeah okay.” He smiled at me. It was a genuine one. “Good night.” He said to both me and Sawyer,
giving Saw a small smile and a slight wave. He shook off the noodles before heading upstairs. 

“He’s a cute kid,” Sawyer stood up from the table. She looked so cute covered in Spaghetti.

“He looks like me.”

She rolled her eyes. “He acts like you too.”

We both began cleaning off the table. This mess was going to take me hours to clean up. “You don’t have to help. I’ll get it.”

“I don’t mind, and it won’t take as long with two of us.”

Every time I looked at her I couldn’t help laughing. She had this long noodle hanging off the side of her head. Each time she moved her head it would swing back and forth.

“What are you laughing at?” She put her hands on her hips.

I stepped up in front of her, still laughing. I heard her breath catch and realized how close I was into her space. My laughter stopped. We seemed to have this moment a lot. Every time we were that close to each other it was as if two worlds collided into one. One breath, one body, one heartbeat. I couldn’t think straight. Her body inches from mine did crazy things to me. I wanted to push her up against the cabinet and kiss every single inch of her body. I wanted to feel her smooth skin under my fingers. If I listened hard enough, I could hear her scream my name out in ecstasy.

“Travis,” she said, her voice was low and raspy. I focused on the sound of her voice and it caused my dick to grow harder. Mother fucker she was like a drug. I was so addicted and I couldn’t shake her no matter how hard I tried. It was hard alright.

She has to come to me. She has to come to me.
I repeated the words over and over in my head. I couldn’t take her running away again. Next time I kiss her, she was going to want me to, and she won’t want me to stop.

I reached up grabbing the lonely noodle hanging in her
hair and dangled it in front of her face. She let out a long breath as if she’d been holding it the whole time. Then she reached for the noodle. Instead of letting her have it, I swung it towards her face and it smacked her on the forehead. It stuck. The laughter started again. She tried to chase me around the kitchen, but I was too quick. Thank God. When I got behind the bar, I had to adjust my pants.

“Truce,” she yelled. I had her head tucked under my pit, screaming headlock. It reminded me of when I used to pick on her a long time ago. Some things never changed. It was just as much fun now as it was when we were kids. Only now, Dane wasn’t here to punch me, in her honor.

“Fine,” I let her go.

“You’re still a punk, Travis Lawson.”

“And you’re still a weakling, Sawyer Evans.” I countered.

The two of us worked together to clean up the rest of the kitchen. I offered her a washcloth to wash her face. She needed it. I tried to give her clean clothes, but she insisted she was fine.

“I had a really good time tonight. I’m still kind of hungry though,” she admitted.

“I’m sorry. I can make it up to you.”

“Oh yeah, how?” Her eyes narrowed.

“I am a master at dessert.” I waggled my eyebrows.

“Okay master, let’s see what you got?”

I reached in the cupboard and pulled out two honey buns.

“Little Debbie’s” she snickered.

“Hey! Not just Little Debbie’s. When I’m finished these will be Travis’s specialty buns.”

“Seriously,” she shook her head.

I took the
buns out of the package and put them on a plate. I microwaved them until they were good and warm. Then I covered them in chocolate syrup. She watched me work the entire time. “Viola,” I set the plate between us on the bar.

“
Well, it looks good, and it smells good.”

“That’s because it is good Woman. Now try it.”

I watched as she took a bite of my concoction. Not a good idea. That’s twice she’s made me hard, without even touching me. You’d think I was sixteen again. I seriously needed to get laid.

“This is so good.” She mumbled. I reached for
the fork in her hand and she jerked back. “Get your own.”

Laughing, I jumped up to grab another. If I didn’t
hurry, I’d never get a bite. All in all, the evening had turned out to be a damn good time. I hoped that we would make this a habit. Waylon really liked her, and she seemed to bring out the kid in him. He didn’t have that look of worry about him, when she was around.

“I’m glad you came over tonight.” I opened the front door and walked with her out to the porch.

“Me too. I might take that back if I still smell like spaghetti tomorrow.” She smiled up at me.

“Hey, that could start trending. I think you smell delicious.” I leaned back on the post of the porch.

“Not a good idea. I want to attract men, not dogs.”

“I’m attracted.” I firmly stated. She peeked up through her lashes. For a
moment, I thought I had said too much. Then she smiled. If she was going to be around me, she has to know I’m going to flirt. I couldn’t help myself, especially when it came to her.

“Good night Travis.”

“Night Sawyer. When will I see you again?”

“Dane will be coming over tomorrow night. He said something about going out. I’m sure he’ll call you.”

“I’d rather you did.”

“We’ll see.” She opened her truck door. “Bye Travis.”

I waved as she pulled out of the driveway.
This night was perfect.
Or at least I thought it was. Until my cell phone rang. The unknown number flashed on the screen. I knew who it was. The stupid bitch picked the perfect moment in my life to try and call. I didn’t answer. I had nothing to say to her.

She’d been calling for weeks, and I didn’t want to talk to her. I hadn’t told Waylon
either because I knew that he’d be angry. I knew what she wanted. To see him, or to ask for money. At least that was her usual messages. I tried to avoid her, but there were times when I listened to her voicemails and thought maybe she’d changed. It was always that sad little boy inside me that wished I was still young. Young enough to have my mom. Or at least the mom she used to be. But that little voice made me feel guilty every time I thought about the way she was with Waylon. 

It was barely two minutes before it rang again. What the hell did she want?

“What,” I yelled into the phone.

“Son,” Her voice was slurred.

“Don’t call me that.”

“Don’t say that.” She said.

“What do you want?” I spat.

“I want to see Waylon.”

“Not gonna happen,” my voice was calm, even though I wanted to scream.

“You can’t keep him away from me. He’s my son.”

“You left us, remember? Don’t threaten me. People know what you did. Are you drunk now?” She was really pissing me off. I didn’t know who she thought she was. She obviously wanted something.

“No,” She yelled. “I just want to see Waylon. You can’t stop me.” As bad as I wanted to deny it, she was right, but this was not good for Waylon. He was so angry with her, but there was a small part of him that missed her. I thought.

“Why are you calling now? After all of this time.”

“I miss you both.”

“I don’t believe you for one minute. And technically I could keep him from you, if anyone found out what you really did. All they know is you were a crazy drunk. Wouldn’t they love to know the real truth?” I threatened. “Lucky for you, I believe people can change.” Or maybe I just hoped she had. I desperately wanted to see the woman that she used to be. The good person and loving mother she was before my dad died. The woman that would cook supper and let us sneak food into our rooms when dad wasn’t looking. That was the woman that I longed to see. I sighed and rubbed the lines on my forehead. “One time. That’s all you get. If you fuck this up, I’ll never let you see him again. Trust me, I can make that happen if you screw up. That means don’t show up drunk and don’t make one single promise to him.” Since she’d been gone, she only called once. I promised I wouldn’t do this to Waylon, but I had to see for myself if she had improved. For my own selfish reasons.

“Okay.”

“If he doesn’t want to see you, then there is nothing I can do about that.”

“He’ll want to.” She said confidently.

I knew she was right. It was his mother. Of course, he wanted to see her. “In two weeks, on Saturday. Be here at noon.” I didn’t wait for her to answer. I hung up. Way to screw up a perfectly good night. Screwing up my life was what she did best.

SEVENTEEN

Sawyer

My plan was to sleep in the next morning, but that didn’t happen. I had another nightmare. I woke wishing I was wrapped in Travis’s arms and not alone. It was another bad one about Mom and Dad. I knew that Travis was right and I needed to find some closure, I just didn’t know how. A part of me believed that love had a lot to do with it, but it was a very small part. I didn’t want to let my heart heal just so it could be broken again. It was too hard.

Knowing that Travis was just a phone call away, I decided to go into my parents’ bedroom. I knew that there were still things hidden in there and I was hoping that maybe I could find my closure somewhere inside those four walls.
I can do this.
I thought before I opened the door.

The room was brightly lit, when I opened the door. The sun was shining through the window and I could see the dust lingering in the light. It smelled like dirt, but there was a very faint hint of musk. It was a smell that I remembered. After my parents
had died, I had a hard time seeing their belongings without freaking. Their personal things like their clothes, or the stuff in the bathroom would always freak me out. I felt like that if I did things the way I was doing them before they died then something bad might happen again. That someone else might die, even me. I knew that sounded crazy, but I didn’t even want to touch their things, because I felt so responsible. Slowly I had been coming around. I actually trashed a pair of my dad’s old shoes. I touched them and moved them to the trashcan, and nothing bad happened. Then the other day when I jumped in the lake with Travis, I felt so free. I felt like this burden I’d been carrying around could only be fixed if I started living again. I was so appreciative of what he had given me back. It might not seem like much to anyone else, or even him, but to me it was a big deal. The steps I needed to take to heal.

I opened the closet door, careful not to touch too many things. It’d been so long since I’d stepped foot in this room. The first thing that I spotted was my mother’s old Temple University sweatshirt. I loved that
thing. When I was younger, I used to wear it as a dress around the house. As I got older, I always thought that I’d go to Temple just like her, until my coach mentioned the Olympics. All of my thoughts of college went out the window after that. Taking a deep breath, I reached out my hand and slowly ran my fingertips down the sleeve. The soft cotton moved under my touch.  These little things were the hardest for me to do.
I am strong. I can do this.
I slid the sweatshirt down the hanger and pulled it hard and fast to my chest. I quickly left the room, closing the door behind me. I leaned my back against the closed door. The shirt was still tight against my chest. I did it. I conquered another fear.

“Shit,” I pulled out my phone to check the time. I had tutoring today. I grabbed my bag and my keys and headed out with the sweatshirt still in my hand. Once I had it, I didn’t want to let it go.

I sent a quick text to Travis.

Me: What is Waylon’s favorite snack to eat?

Travis: Why? Lol

Me: My lips are sealed.

Travis: More secrets… You know that only brings trouble and flying meatballs.

Me: Shut up and tell me.

Travis: Someone is moody. Is it that time of the month?

Me: What? No! Just tell me damn it.

Travis: I wish I could see you right now. You’re so cute when you’re mad.

Me: TELL ME NOW!

I was literally yelling, and laughing all at the same time. He was a big butt-head.

Travis: Okay, okay. He likes beef jerky, Reese cups, and any kind of sour candy.

Me: Thanks.

Travis: You’re really not
gonna tell me are you?

Me: Nope, talk to you later.

Travis: Are you gonna call me?

Me: Hmmm.
Wouldn’t you like to know? Bye Travis.

Travis: Bye gorgeous.

Me: **rolling eyes**

Travis: LOL

Tori was already in the library when I rushed in. I thought I was late, but I still had two minutes to spare. “Hey,” she said. I set my bags
down and pulled out one of those giant sticks of beef jerky. “Hungry Sawyer?” She asked.

“It’s today’s bribe. I plan on getting Waylon’s grades where they belong. Wish me luck.”

“Luck. You’re unbelievable.”

“What can I say? The kid has seriously left a mark on my heart.”

“That’s sweet. Maybe you’re just what he needs.” She said sincerely.

Or maybe he’s just what I need
. I thought to myself. It was like a light bulb flashing in my brain. He’d lost both of his parents too. His mom’s not dead, but she might as well be. He was young and he was hurting. I know how he felt. Why hadn’t I thought of this before? Maybe that’s why we have such a connection, and understanding.

The kids barreling through the door snapped me back into reality. Just like before Waylon came through the door last and took the seat farthest from the front. Tori made her usual announcements to the group, and they pulled out their work to begin. I tucked the end of the beef jerky stick into my back pocket and started making my rounds.

Finally, I made it to Waylon. I found him sitting there doing nothing.

“Hey Genius,” I swatted at the hair on the top of his head. “You ready to get to work?”

“Sure, but where’s my gum?” He held out his hand.

“I got it, but how about a new bet?” I suggested.

“I’m listening.” His chin was resting on the palm of his hand. I snickered. He looked just like Travis, right down to the blonde hair. Travis’s hair was brown now, but I can recall when it was bleach blonde from roots to tips, just the same.

I pulled the jerky from my back pocket, and his eyes lit up. Before he could get his
grabby paws on it, I yanked it back. “Listen,” my voice was stern. His eyes were still focused on the prize. “Are you listening?”

“Yes,” he growled.

“Good,” I took a seat next to him. “Now that I have your attention, let’s talk about these grades of yours. I know by now that you don’t need a tutor in math. You are better than I am. Is there a subject that you actually do struggle with?”

“Not really.”

“Boy, you are just as cocky as your brother. You act just like him.” I confessed.

“Yeah, so.” He responded with his teenage attitude.

“If you’re so smart then why are you failing? Don’t tell me you don’t know either. There is a reason.”

“Why are you so interested?” He asked.

This conversation was headed south quickly. My intentions weren’t to talk serious stuff, but there seemed to be no avoiding it. I tucked my hands in between my legs and the seat. “Because I know what it was like to feel like you have no one. Five years ago, both of my parents died in a car accident.” The words just slipped out, like I had no control. His head snapped up in my direction. “So, I know how you feel.”

“Then you know that there is no possible way I can go to college. As soon as I turn sixteen, I have to get a job. I have to.” He explained.

“You can go to college, Waylon.” I said and I was serious.

“Not
gonna happen.” He shook his head.

“Do you want to go to college?” I asked. Turning to face him.

“I used to think I did.” He looked down at his hands, then back up at me. There was a sadness in his light blue eyes.

“You do. I know you do. So let’s get you a scholarship. You are starting high school next year, and all you have to do is keep up your academics. With the right
grades, you can get into any school you want.”

His eyes brightened up a bit. I couldn’t understand why no one had talked to him about
any of this. “You really think I can?” He asked.

“I know you can. And just because you’re working hard in school, it doesn’t mean that you can’t work a real job too. A lot of people do it.” I suggested, and he nodded. I knew that he understood. “If you let me help you, we can get those grades where they need to be. I can help you here, but if you want I will tutor you at home the rest of the weekdays.”

“I don’t want Travis to work two jobs anymore. I barely get to see him.”

“I
know.” I tussled his hair. “So do we have a deal? It won’t be easy. Plus you’ll have to see me all the time.” I scrunched up my nose.

“Can I have the jerky?” He asked pointing at the table.

“Sure,” I handed it to him.

“Deal.” He held out a fist, a total boyish thing to do.

I bumped it, and he smiled. “Good, now start on your homework.” I stood to walk away. I heard him growling as I left.
This was going to be a blast.
I thought as I rolled my eyes.