Escaping Christmas (9 page)

“Who you love is not her decision to make…and it’s not mine.”

The light reflected off the floor casting a shadow across his face. She had no idea what he was thinking. “You’re right. It
is
my decision. I’m not ready to love anyone, Zach, but if I was...” How was she going to choke this out? “If I was…I’d want him to be like you.”

“Fair enough. Not only am I patient, I’m persistent. If we’re meant to be I’m willing to hang in there. Now, move out of my way. I’m freezing.”

Alex smiled as he climbed down the ladder. The encounter wasn’t as awkward as she’d thought it would be. She pushed the first box down. In no time they had four boxes stacked on the floor.

“That’s a lot of decorations for this little cabin,” Alex observed, not sure she was up to this.

“We don’t have to use them all. We still need to get a tree. I think the base is in one of these boxes.” He flipped open one box, and another… “Here it is.” Zach held it up triumphantly.

“How are we going to get a tree in this weather?”

“We have plenty of time before Christmas. It has to quit snowing sometime.”

Her mouth pulled down into a frown.

“Hey.” He lifted her chin. “Did I say something wrong?”

“When it quits snowing you have no reason to stay.” Her mood took a nosedive.

“I’d stay like this with you forever if we could.”

Alex wished they could. And she wished she had it in her to trust someone that much again. The one thing she did know was that she liked being marooned here with him. But what would happen when they had lives to live outside of this cabin? Would he lose interest like Owen had? No…she didn’t want to risk it. The pain was unbearable.

“I see the wheels turning.” He interrupted the internal battle. “What are you thinking?”

“I was wondering if things would change once the snow stops falling?”

“The snow has nothing to do with what’s going on between us.”

“You say that now, but life gets in the way…some snow bunny shows up, or I bore you to tears.” Alex couldn’t stop the tears from pooling.

“I’m not him. I have to wait for you to see it too.” He paused, stepped forward, and swiped a curl away from her face. “I want to show you. You don’t know how much I want to, but I can’t. I need you to want the same things I want, Lexie.”

He was dangerously close and her blood raced with anticipation. Alex stared at his perfect lips, not able to breathe. She raised her eyes to his before saying, “I’m sure I want what you want.” Her hands rested on the warmth of his hips.

“Marriage? A family? Grandchildren? I never thought I would say those words. Work has always been enough, but you have me thinking about those things.”

She wasn’t sure how to respond. She wanted to feel his hands on her. Closing her eyes, she imagined what it would be like.

“Zach, I…”

“Go work on that book. Imagine that life with me. Maybe then you’ll believe. Maybe, then, we can both believe.” He lifted a box and headed toward the door. “I’m going to throw a couple logs on the fire and take that nap.”

Alex folded her arms in front of her, although the cold was the farthest thing from her mind. She glanced down at the boxes that remained.
A life with Zach Camden? Could it be possible?
She had wanted marriage, kids…but she had planned it all around Owen. How could she let herself believe again? Taking a deep breath, she went to the desk and grabbed the notebook.

“The pen’s in the left side drawer,” she heard from the couch.

“Thanks,” she muttered, pulling out the chair. The desk was situated in front of the window. “Do you mind if I opened the shutter?”

“Not at all. Whatever inspires you, honey.”

She stole a glance in his direction. Sprawled out on the couch in jeans and a black concert t-shirt, he couldn’t have looked sexier. He had one arm behind his head that showcased his tattooed bicep. Alex sighed and turned her attention back outside. The snow wasn’t falling as hard and she was a bit sad about that. Soon, Zach would be going home and she would be left to forgetting him.

She settled in, facing the window and tapped the pen to paper. What to write about? How the hero was really a cheating husband and the heroine met her Prince Charming in the middle of nowhere? No. She didn’t want that tramp around Zach, not even if it was within the pages of a book. Alex thought of his advice, to write about what she would imagine their marriage to be. Leave the movie characters out of it. Then it hit her…the plot didn’t have to be someone coming between them, but the danger could come from the elements. She would allow their real life story to inspire this one, just as he’d said. Every story had to have a hurdle…this one would be about survival. She wrote furiously for two hours.

Alex held the pages in front of her and rotated her shoulders. She jumped when strong hands massaged her neck. She exhaled with pleasure. Then the warmth of his lips found a path down her neck. She trembled. Zach wrapped his arms around her from behind and whispered, “How did the writing go?”

“We’re off to a good start.”

Chapter Twelve

“Yeah?” he asked, pulling her to her feet. “Did it include any of this?” He nuzzled her neck and she leaned her head to one side, lost in the moment. His lips found hers and she responded, sliding her arms around his neck.

“I’m only on Chapter Four,” she answered in a labored breath while his hands slipped inside her sweatshirt. The touch of his hands running up and down her back nearly set her ablaze.

He stared into her eyes. “Let me know when we get to the chapter I make love to you.”

“Zach…” Her heart was beating so fast. She couldn’t think.

“What is it, honey?”

“I want you,” she whispered.

“And I want you,” he answered. “But, not with anyone between us.”

“I’m not thinking of anyone else.” She ran her hands inside the front of his shirt, sighing at the warmth of his skin. His muscles tensed as she traveled upward.

Zach pulled her hands away. “Not now.”

The rejection filled her eyes with tears.

“Lexie, don’t think I don’t want to.”

“I understand, really. I’m damaged goods and you have to fix me first.” She turned away from him.

“Look at me.”

She refused.

“I said look at me, Lexie,” he demanded.

Her arms folded in front of her. “What?”

“Are you really seeing me?”

What did he want from her?

He ran his hands up and down his face and let out a sigh of frustration. “I want more with you than a roll in the hay. I know you find that hard to believe. It’s not going to change.”

“Then show me.” Desperation filled her voice and she hated the sound of it, but she needed to be with him.

“Quit making this so damned hard,” he growled. “I’m not a stand in for anyone, and I’m not here to make you forget another man, Alexandra. I want you to see
me
, Zach Camden. When I hold you in my arms I want to know in my heart I’m the one you’re with.”

Her phone rang. Alex left out a frustrated sigh when she reached for it. “Hello,” she answered grumpily.

“Well, hello to you too,” Tiffany replied from the other end. “Having writer’s block?”

“It’s not a good time,” Alex answered abruptly.

“Yeah, I heard. Just got off the phone with your mom and then the scumbag.”

“Owen called you?” Zach exited the room with that question. Alex’s eyes followed him with worry, but she had to know. “What did he want?”

“You, Alex. He wants you back. I’m only being honest because that’s what best friends do, but here’s some more honesty. If you take that dirt bag back I will personally kick your ass.” Tiffany continued without waiting for a response. “Then, your mom calls me complaining about some rebound you’ve met in Colorado and how you’re going to ruin your life. Did you really meet someone?”

Alex didn’t miss the hopeful tone in Tiff’s voice. “Yes, I met someone.”

Tiffany squealed and Alex had to pull the phone from her ear. “What’s he like. Is he gorgeous? Of course he is. What does he do? Where did you meet him?”

Alex laughed. Zach walked back in the room with two mugs, handing her one. She smiled in his direction. “He’s absolutely gorgeous. He owns the cabin I’m renting and he owns some ski resorts. And Tiff, he walked out of my dream.” She said the words, looking right into his eyes. He would regret the rejection.

“What’s his name?”

“Zach Camden.” Her eyes stayed firmly on his. His jaw tensed.

“I’m so happy for you! So, what should I tell your mother and Owen? They keep calling me.”

“Nothing. Tell them nothing. I don’t owe either one of them an explanation. This is my life.”

“I’d rather tell Owen something that would drop that smug tone from his voice. He’s convinced you’ll take him back. He told me he won’t stop until he makes this up to you.”

“I don’t know how he thinks he could possibly make any of this up to me,” Alex answered. “What’s done is done.”

“Do you love this Zach, Alex?”

“I’m not sure I’m capable of that anymore.”
Lust? Definitely.
She watched as Zach opened the boxes and pulled out Christmas decorations.

“Do you miss Owen?” Her best friend always asked the hard questions.

“Part of me does, but it’s over.” Zach glanced in her direction. “I have to go Tiffany. I’m sorry they’re bothering you. Tell my mother you couldn’t get in touch with me. The phones are down. I don’t want to talk to her right now. I came here to get away from them.”

“Sure. What do you want me to tell Owen? He says you have appearances to make together. I’m supposed to remind you.”

“I’m aware of that. I have my lawyer trying to get me out of it. Tell him I had nothing to say about him. I’ll talk to you soon, Tiff.”

“One more thing before we hang up you should know.” Tiffany hesitated.

“What is it?” Alex didn’t like the tone in her voice.

“It’s all over the tabloids that Owen and his bimbo called it quits.”

“Owen and his wife are separated?” Alex repeated in disbelief.

“Yeah, and that’s not all…the rags are saying it’s because of you.”

“Me?” Alex shrieked.

“The story is that Owen couldn’t live without you and he realized the mistake he made and you both are working on your relationship. I’m sorry to have to tell you this. You and Owen are on the cover of all the papers.”

“How? I’m not even there.” She couldn’t believe this was happening.

“They’re using old pictures. People are stupid. You know that. Call me if you need anything. I’m rooting for this Zach guy.”

“I’ll be sure to tell him.” Alex attempted enthusiasm while her hands trembled. “Bye, Tiff. Thanks for letting me know.” She hung up and lowered herself to the nearest chair.

“Is there anything you want to tell me?” Zach broke into her thoughts.

“It seems I can’t even get away from complications in the middle of the mountains.”

He knelt by the box he was rooting through. “You want to talk about it?”

She closed her eyes and tried to calm the trembling that was spreading throughout her body. Where did she start?

“That was my best friend. She called to tell me my mother and Owen have been ringing her phone off the hook about me…and you.”

“Good.”

“No, it’s not good. She’s relentless and Owen always gets what he wants.”

“Does he? Is he going to get what he wants this time, Lexie, or am I?” He moved to the couch and sat.

“I told Tiffany about you,” she replied honestly, ignoring his question.

“I heard. I liked what you said.”

“So did she. She told me to tell you she’s pulling for you.”

“I like her already. What aren’t you telling me?”

“Owen split up with his wife. The tabloids are printing Owen and I are back together.” Zach’s jaw twitched. “I’m supposed to be making appearances with him to promote the Christmas movie.”

“How soon,” he asked tightly.

“I was supposed to do them before it aired, but my lawyer intervened. I’m scheduled for appearances in a couple of weeks, but my attorney is working on that.”

“I’ll go with you.”

“No, Zach. I don’t want you a part of all that. It’s a circus show.”

“Is that it, or do you want time alone with your actor?”

She bit down on her lip. “You talk about trust, but you don’t trust me.”

“You have loved him a long time. That would be easy to fall back into. I want to be there to remind you what you deserve.”

“You wouldn’t be permitted to be there,” she replied evenly.

“And why not?”

“You’d need studio approval.” Alex hoped he would believe that. Having Zach there watching her every move with Owen would be beyond uncomfortable.

Grasping his hands behind his neck he turned away from her briefly, then faced her. “I don’t like this.”

“Zach, this is my job. This is part of who I am. I doubted we would work outside of this cabin. I was hoping I was wrong, but…”