Escapade (32 page)

She turned back, grabbed the doorknob, ripped open the door, and stomped out, slamming the door shut behind her.

“PHIL?”

My eyes fluttered open. Slowly. Reluctantly. While I was asleep someone had pried out my eyeballs, dipped them in sand, then hammered them back into their sockets.

“Phil?”

The Great Man. He stood beside my bed, wearing a dark gray three-piece suit. He looked fresh and chipper and eager. If I’d had the Colt in my hand I would have shot him.

“Phil,” he said, “it is a quarter after six.”

“Uh-huh.”

“It is time. Sir David.” He grinned at me and clapped his hands together. “Up and at him, Phil!”

“Yeah.” I closed my eyes. “Yeah. You go ahead, Harry. I’ll meet you downstairs.”

“But Phil. I am your second. We must arrive together.”

I opened my eyes again and looked up at the ceiling. It hung over me like a huge white anvil about to fall. “Right. Right. Okay.”

I rolled out of bed, groaning, and I cranked myself upright. My muscles were stiff, my joints were grainy.

Sunlight was trembling throughout the room. England is only a few miles south of the North Pole and in summer the days are longer, at both ends, than they have any right to be.

I staggered past the Great Man into the bathroom. I stripped off my pajamas, stepped into the bathtub, got down on my hands and knees, and turned on the cold water. I leaned my head into the stream. It hit me like a sledgehammer.

“HOLD ON, HARRY,” I said. I was dressed and we were in the hallway outside the suite of Mrs. Allardyce and Miss Turner. The door was shut. I knocked on it. Waited. Knocked again.

“We will be late, Phil,” said the Great Man impatiently.

I tried the door. Locked. I turned to the Great Man and nodded toward the lock. “Do your stuff, Harry.

“Phil!” He looked at me as if I’d just told him I carried the plague.

“It’s important,” I said. “We need to get in there. Before the maid does.”

“Whatever for?”

“I’ll tell you later. Come on.”

The small white card with the names of Mrs. Allardyce and Miss Turner was still thumbtacked to the door. The Great Man peered at it.

I had forgotten that he didn’t know who was staying in each room. He knew which room was his, and that was all he needed to know, or wanted to.

He looked at me. “The two women, they are in danger?”

“Maybe.”

“But you are not certain?”

“It’s important, Harry.”

“But Phil!”

“We’ll be late, Harry.”

Frowning the whole time, he tugged his wallet from his back pocket, opened it, plucked out a pick, bent forward, slipped the pick into the keyhole. Click. He stood up, still frowning, and he turned the knob and opened the door. He stepped back. I stepped into the room.

Mrs. Allardyce’s bed was empty, the sheets and the blanket thrown back. There was a depression in the mattress deep enough for a yak’s nest.

I walked into Miss Turner’s room, the Great Man trailing behind me. Frowning, probably.

The bolster still lay beneath the blanket. Miss Turner had done a good job with her dummy—even in daylight it looked like a sleeping form. I put my knee on the bed and leaned forward to examine the blanket. About a foot down from the pillow, there were eight narrow holes in the fabric, each an inch wide, all within two or three inches of each other.

“What is it, Phil?”

“Just a minute.”

I tossed back the blanket and the sheet and I took a look at the bolster. It was plump and soft, covered with satin and stuffed with down. There were eight narrow holes in the cover, identical to the holes in the blanket. I stuck my finger into one of them. When I pulled it back, a small white feather came puffing out. It floated briefly in the air and then settled back against the bolster, quivering.

“
What
, Phil?”

“Someone stuck a knife into this thing last night.”

“A knife?”

“While Miss Turner was out.” I pushed myself off the bed.

“A knife?”

“Yeah.” I glanced around the room. Nothing.

“But for what purpose?”

“To kill Miss Turner, it looks like.”

He looked from me to the bed, looked back at me. Are you joking with me, Phil?”

“I’ll tell you about it on the way downstairs.”

A SERVANT—A new one, for me—told us that everyone was wait ing out on the patio, by the conservatory. When the Great Man and I arrived, I saw that everyone was.

Even Lord Bob was there.

During the night, or sometime this morning, someone had used a white powder—lime, maybe—to mark off a neat square on the grass, beyond the flagstones of the patio. The square looked to be the size of a standard boxing ring, about twenty-four feet on a side. There were no ropes and no posts, but two wooden stools squatted in opposite corners. Beside each stool was a straight-back wooden chair and, beside that, a small table supporting a heavy glass goblet, a crystal decanter filled with water, and a thick stack of white towels.

People were sitting in chairs arranged around three sides of the square and set back from it by a couple of yards, behind low tables that held big pots of tea and coffee. Nearly everyone was dressed in black, but most of them were chatting and sipping at china cups, and the whole thing seemed very jolly.

Miss Turner, Mrs. Corneille, and Mrs. Allardyce sat in a group to the left, on the south side of the ring. Lady Purleigh, Cecily, and Dr. Auerbach sat directly ahead, on the west side. On the coffee table in front of them, beside the teapot, was a large copper cowbell.

Sir Arthur stood next to Lady Purleigh, behind an empty chair, and he was bending forward, listening carefully. Madame Sosostris and Mr. Dempsey sat to the right, on the north side. Between these last two groups, Lord Bob stood talking to Sir David Merridale. Sir David was in shirtsleeves, his collar open, his cuffs rolled back. His black mustache and his wavy black hair glistened in the early morning sunlight and he looked very fit.

When Lord Bob saw the Great Man and me, he muttered something to the other two and then bustled over to us.

“Houdini! Beaumont! Good to see you!” His black suit and white shirt were neatly pressed this morning. All the buttons were in all the right holes and his tie was firmly trapped inside his vest. He sounded as brisk and lively as ever, maybe more so. But the ruddiness had drained from his face and left most of it waxy and pale. On his cheeks, beneath the pallor, purple veins were coiled like tiny snakes. Below his bloodshot eyes the skin was the color of fried liver. He turned to me and proudly waved a hand at the ring. “Look all right, does it?”

“I’m impressed,” I told him.

He beamed. “Sir Arthur and my wife. Up at the crack of dawn with the servants. Damned ambitious, eh?” Stroking his mustache, he turned to the Great Man. “Eh? What d’you think?”

The Great Man nodded, smiling. “Most impressive, Lord Purleigh.”

Lord Bob grinned. “Alice explained it to me last night. A boxing match. You and Merridale. Splendid idea, I thought. Symbolic, in a way, eh? The bourgeoisie versus the aristocracy, New World versus the Old. And a rousing bit of sport for the guests, eh? Get their minds off the old swine and the ghosts and whatnot. Ah.” He frowned suddenly, as if he’d just remembered something.

He glanced quickly over at the others, then back to us. “About last night.” He frowned, shook his head. “Disgraceful performance on my part. Scandalous. Made my apologies to all the rest, owe one to both of you. Damn sorry it happened. Don’t know what came over me. Quart or two of Napoleon brandy, eh?” He chuckled, but the chuckle sounded empty and forced, and beneath the bushy eyebrows he was watching us. I think he was embarrassed, and I think that embarrassment was something he didn’t experience very often.

The Great Man said, “No apology is necessary, Lord Purleigh.”

Lord Bob grinned. “Good of you to say so. But it’s Bob, eh?” He turned to me, the eyebrows raised. “Hale and hearty, are we? Ready for the main event?”

“Yeah.”

“Good man.” He leaned toward me and gave me a wink. “Got a fiver riding on you. Don’t let me down, eh?

He was a lot happier with me today than he'd been yesterday. Or maybe he was just unhappy with Sir David. “Who took your bet?” I asked him.

“Madame Whatsis’s husband. The skinny chap. Tunney, is it?”

I smiled. “Dempsey.”

“Whatever. In any event, good luck, eh?” Grinning, he moved into a boxing stance. “Keep up that left, eh?”

“I’ll try.”

“Good fellow. Ah, Doyle, there you are. About ready to begin, are we?”

Towering over us all, Doyle nodded his big pink head. “Very nearly, Lord Purleigh. But I must speak briefly with Mr. Beaumont.”

“Right you are,” said Lord Bob. “I’m off.” He turned back to me, grinning again, and he held up his left hand, balled into a fist. “The left, eh?”

I smiled and nodded, and he bustled away.

“Now,” said Doyle. “Mr. Beaumont, do you still wish to go through with this?”

“Yeah.”

For a moment his glance traveled around my face like the beam of a searchlight. “Are you really quite sure, Beaumont? No offense, but you do look a trifle”—he frowned—“worn this morning.”

“I’m fine.”

He nodded. “Very well.” He smiled slightly. But I dare say you’ll be a shade more mobile without your coat and tie.”

As I pulled off the coat, Doyle turned to the Great Man. “You’ll be in Mr. Beaumont’s corner? Acting as his assistant?”

“As his second,” corrected the Great Man.

“Yes,” said Doyle. “Here, permit me to take that.” He took my coat, draped it over his arm, took my tie, draped that over the coat. “You’re ready, then?” he asked me.

“Yeah.” I unbuttoned my left shirt cuff.

“Very well. Houdini, you and Beaumont will have that corner.” He nodded toward the southeast. The Great Man gave me one of his wide smiles and then capered off to the corner.

He’d already forgotten about Miss Turner and the Earl and everything else I’d told him when we tramped down the stairs. He was genuinely excited, I think. Maybe because, for a change, he got to be part of the audience, and he wasn’t in any kind of competition with the performer.

Doyle called out, “Sir David?”

As I rolled back my sleeves, Sir David strode toward us along the grass, tall and lithe. He moved well for someone as big as he was. His eyebrows were raised as he smiled at me. I nodded to him. Without lowering his eyebrows or nodding back, he turned to Doyle. “Yes?”

“I should like to be quite certain,” said Doyle, “that we all understand the rules.” As he spoke, he looked back and forth between me and Sir David. “The rounds will be of three minutes duration, with a rest period of one minute between each. Any man who falls during the course of a round will have ten seconds to get up, unassisted. A man on one knee is considered down, and if struck wins the match by forfeit. There will be no wrestling or hugging. No hitting below the belt, no hitting over the kidneys or the back of the neck. No kicking, gouging, or biting. Is that clear?”

Sir David smiled. “Quite.”

“Mr. Beaumont? Clear?”

“Yeah.” But it took away a big chunk of my repertoire. “Good,” said Doyle. “To your corners, then, gentlemen.”

I walked over to my stool. The Great Man was dancing around beside it, grinning and rubbing his palms together. I turned and looked over at Sir David. His second was Dr. Auerbach.

“Ladies and gentlemen,” announced Doyle, his big voice booming out across the lawn. “Welcome to the contest. This is to be a boxing match of ten rounds, fought by modified Marquis of Queensberry rules. Each round will last for three minutes. Lady Purleigh will be acting as timekeeper. The round will end when she rings the bell. Lady Purleigh, could you demonstrate, please?” The copper cowbell on the table was attached at the top to a strip of ribbon. Lady Purleigh smiled and then raised the bell, using the ribbon as a handle. She tapped the bell with a small metal hammer. It made a sharp pleasant ring that faded off across the wide empty lawn.

“Thank you,” said Doyle. He turned to the others. “I shall be acting as referee, and my decisions are final.”

“Here, here,” said Lord Bob loudly, and clapped his hands. The rest of them applauded.

“In this corner,” announced Doyle, “we have Sir David Merridale, from London.”

People applauded politely. Behind me, the Great Man hollered, “
Boooo!
” Heads swung, stiffly, in his direction. Most of the clapping seemed to be coming from Cecily Fitzwilliam. Lady Purleigh leaned toward her.

Smiling, Sir David nodded in the direction of each table.

Just in case they hadn’t heard it the first time, the Great Man hollered it again—“
Boooo!
”

The applause had stopped. Doyle was frowning at us. “And in this corner,” he said, “we have Mr. Phil Beaumont, from America.”

Behind me, the Great Man beat his hands together wildly. “
Hooray for Phil!
” he called out. The guests applauded politely again. Except for Cecily Fitzwilliam, who sat with her arms locked across her chest. Lady Purleigh leaned toward her.

“
Hooray!
” the Great Man shouted. I turned to him and under my breath I said, “Easy, Harry.”

He leaned toward me, grinning. Over the sound of his own clapping, he said, “It is the show business, Phil!”

He had been the first to start clapping and he was the last to stop.

“Gentlemen?” said Doyle, and waved Sir David and me into the ring. “Shake hands, please.”

Sir David offered his hand. I took it. He showed off his grip, but I’d been expecting that. He smiled at me. Blandly. “Any last words, Beaumont?” he asked me.

“I hear Miss Turner turned you down yesterday. Too bad.”

He didn’t stop smiling, but the skin at the corners of his eyes tightened up. He didn’t look at Miss Turner either, but I think he wanted to.

“Back to your corners, gentlemen,” said Doyle. “When the bell rings, come out fighting.”

I went back to my corner. The Great Man grinned and pounded me on the shoulder.

Overhead, the sky was pale blue, not a cloud anywhere. The bright clear air smelled of warming earth. Far off across the broad green lawn, one red squirrel went bounding after another.