Equal Parts (23 page)

I wanted to smack myself. Instead I settled with slapping my chest hard enough to jab at my still-sore ribs.

When it became clear I’d recovered, Henry took up where we’d left off: “Well, come on, out with it. You know this is the part where I ask for your life story.”

It probably said a lot about me that I didn’t second-guess his motives for knowing anything about my life. He seemed too easygoing to be a threat, and too good-looking to be interested in me. A win-win, right?

“Usual sob story – grew up in the middle of nowhere, moved out here to save for college, got a job in a dead end customer service role … you know, the whole shebang.” My shoulders slumped slightly.

“What’s your major? For college, I mean.”

I studied him yet again. He seemed genuinely intrigued. He wasn’t even staring at my chest, or texting while he spoke. Okay, so maybe this guy wasn’t totally deserving of my indifference.

“No idea. Counseling, maybe? I wanted to be a psychologist for a long time, but my grades were less-than-average in school. Originally I was going to earn enough money for tuition and move to another state, but Carova is ... growing on me.” More to the point, I wasn’t quite ready to give up its  inhabitants just yet, but I couldn’t very well say that.

Henry opened his mouth to reply, but a shadow suddenly fell over he and I. We both looked up to see none other than Finn Cole towering over us, his squarish frame swaying slightly on the spot.

“Felicity!” he yelled at a weird pitch - almost like he’d been calling me for a while.

Double crap with crap on top.
I’d almost forgotten I was in Finn’s house.

“Oh, hi Finn,” I said with a smile that I’m sure looked too toothy to be real. “How’s it going?”

It was then I saw the positively murderous look on his face.

Make that triple crap.

“Do you have any idea what you’ve done to me?” His loud words drew the attention of most of the guests around us.

I got to my feet, barely noticing Henry following suit beside me. “Finn, I think you should -”

“How about we listen about what
I
think, huh?” he demanded, taking a swaggering step towards me. I didn’t back down, but my knees did shake a little. This was a side of Finn I’d never seen before - hell, judging from the looks we were getting, I didn’t think
anyone
had seen him this way before. Finn was usually so ... nice.

“Okay, what do you think?” I asked, trying for calm, but probably just sounding timid.

“I think ... I think you got inside my head! Like a ... a disease!” His words were slurred, his eyes bagged by dark shadows, but the vehemence in his voice was definitely clear. “You and your...” He trailed off, gesturing to my hands, “and your speech about one-ups and shit!”

I stole a glance at Henry, only to find him rapidly tapping on his cell. Well, there went all doubts of his true identity. Achilles would have nail-gunned Finn twice by now.

“Skye’s gone, you turned up out of fucking nowhere, and now I’m
sick
, Felicity. I’m
sick
!” he yelled, causing my toes to curl, and not in a good way.

Henry stopped texting and moved ever-so-slightly closer to me. Well, at least he’d be there to catch me if Finn took a swing at me, which looked to be an increasing popular likelihood.

“How are you sick?” I dreaded the answer. Everyone was listening. Even Ellis and Colby stood in the doorway, watching Finn very carefully.

He laughed, but the sound was empty. “You don’t even know ... I can’t sleep ... I can’t eat ... but I can fucking drink!” He waved his bottle of bourbon around for all to see. “So I guess that’s something.”

Was he talking about the lack of happiness? Had the small hit of sunshine I’d given him last week really affected him so strongly? Or was it something else?

“Have you been to a doctor?” I could see Ellis closing in on Finn from behind, inch by inch.

“Of course I have,” he spat, “and guess what? He says it’s genetic. Like I’m ... I’m some kind of ... of freak of nature.” He moved into my personal space, bringing the stench of alcohol with him. Henry’s shoulder bumped him out some, but he was still too close for my taste. “I am like him, aren’t I? You were right. I’m just like him now. A fucking black sheep, complete with missing sanity.”

“Finn, you aren’t insane,” I told him carefully. “And you’re nothing like ... Achilles.” It hurt to say his name still. The word stuck in my mouth like syrup, tasted bitter enough to make me wince.

God knew what poor Henry thought of this whole conversation. Maybe he would finally be put off by my weirdness and leave me alone.

It was then, of all moments, that Finn noticed the guy beside me, his bleary eyes scanning Henry’s form slowly. “Who’re you, then?”

“Dude,” said Ellis to Finn, finally making his move, “come on. Everyone’s waiting for you upstairs.”

Ellis
Legrand
was definitely closer to Achilles than Finn on the personality spectrum. I didn’t know him personally, but I knew from popular opinion that he was a callous, merciless asshole. At least Achilles had charm; Ellis was just plain cold.

“Finn, I’m sorry,” I said quietly. “Okay? I’m sorry for everything - for all the crap I’ve heaped into your life, and for what I did and said last week. But you’re the good guy, remember? Life wasn’t meant to be totally peachy.”

“Maybe I don’t want to be the good guy any more,” he hissed at me. He swayed forwards, only halting when Ellis grabbed the back of his T-shirt. “Maybe me and
your
guy are on the same page now.”

“He is not ‘my guy’.” My cheeks were practically ablaze at the reminder. I peeked up at Henry to find him staring at me with a frown. Of confusion? Of sympathy?

“Come on,” repeated Ellis in that Southern drawl of his, towing Finn backwards. I sucked in a breath of alcohol-free air.

But, unfortunately, Finn wasn’t finished. He saw the look of utter pity on my face and turned it against me. “He may not be your guy, but we both know you want him to be. So don’t get all fucking judgmental on me, when you’re the one in love with a psychopath.”

It was like a slap to the face. But it didn’t hurt me. I didn’t feel anything, actually. Not like if Achilles had said the same thing.

Ellis suddenly doubled himself - that’s the only way I can describe what happened. One moment there was one of him, and then there were two. There went my doubts of his superpower - multiplication was definitely his thing.

The two versions of Ellis half-carried, half-shoved Finn from the area, until all that was left were his bitter parting words in the air and everyone staring at me with shocked expressions.

I faced Henry, open-mouthed, scrambling to come up with something to say.

“Like I said, Finn’s a fantastic guy,” he said in a voice laden with hidden meaning. I had to take it as sarcasm.

When I laughed - a
real
laugh, I noted with some confusion - the rest of the guests returned to their pre-Finnplosion activities. Thank God, too, because I was beginning to feel like a popsicle in the sun under their scrutiny.

An arm suddenly wrapped itself around my neck, and the sickly-sweet smell of Chanel clogged my nostrils. “God, was that awkward or what?” Lucia asked, appearing seemingly out of nowhere. “Who’d have thought Finn Cole would be such a dickhead? You had it right that first time he hit on you at that party.”

Oh dear God. Was everyone just in a drunken, shameless mood tonight?

When Lucia spotted Henry, she seemed to sober up a bit. “Hi, I’m Lucia. Felicity’s fairy counterpart.” She winked at me.
He’s all yours!
I wanted to shout.

Instead, like a normal person, I confiscated Lucia’s drink. “Enough punch for you, I think.”

“Where’s yours? You can’t be sober on your birthday, Felicity. That is the epitome of lame.” Well, I think she
meant
to say ‘epitome’; it came out as ‘eppithamee’.

“It’s your birthday?” Henry looked ... shocked. Not surprised, or politely curious - all out
shocked
. What the hell? What
concern was it of his if it was my birthday? “Are you sure?”

“Um, last time I checked.” Okay, this night was getting freaky, even for my tastes. First this gorgeous-but-weirdly-unappealing guy takes an interest in me, then Finn has a full-blown nervous breakdown at me, and now Lucia’s abandoned me for Slursville?

Time to go home.

“Jesus Christ,” I thought I heard Henry mumble as his fingers ran through his short hair.

“Well, we should probably get going...” I redirected Lucia’s arm to my elbow instead of my shoulders, hoping she would take the hint and give me the peace I’d craved for at least twenty minutes now.

“What?” she demanded. Okay, no such luck. “But I haven’t even made out with anyone yet!”

Panic was starting to seize my gut, and I had no idea why. Finn’s words kept jumbling in my head, over and over:
you’re the one in love with a psychopath
.

I didn’t love Achilles. I hated him. He’d abducted me, used me, and dumped me right as I’d begun to care for him. He was a monster. A psychopath - just as Finn had so gently pointed out.

So why did I miss him, even slightly? Why didn’t I find the obviously-interested male specimen in front of me more attractive? I had
felt
with Achilles; I hadn’t felt anything
but numbness and grief since I’d left him
.

That had to be it. I missed feeling. That was all.

“That’s okay, I’ll find my own way home,” I said to Lucia. It must have come off as a little sharp, because her hand retracted.

“I’ll give you a lift,” offered Henry.

Oh, yeah, catching a lift with a guy I just met and who made my neck prickle with something unidentifiable - that wouldn’t end in disaster. I was stupid, but not
that
stupid.

“No you don’t, mancandy,” admonished Lucia, straightening. “She’s
my
best friend, so she’s coming home with
me
. All the best catches went upstairs to sort Finn out, anyway.”

“Full offense taken,” said Henry, and it was so like something Achilles would say, my chest ached. I had to go. Apparently I was incapable of holding a normal conversation with a normal guy at any given time.

“It was nice meeting you,” I said as Lucia dragged me away. He gave me an odd expression, and saluted me before he disappeared behind a wall of guests.

That same expression - part-confusion, part-amusement - followed me all the way out of the mansion, into the cab we caught home, and cropped up in my dreams.

The one good thing about being haunted by a stranger’s expression, though, was that it was infinitely better than the alternative: being haunted by a ghost who didn’t want me.

Chapter Fifteen

Reward and Punishment

As Thanksgiving and Christmas grew nearer, the nights grew longer and the air grew colder. Lucia’s new favorite pastime became complaining about the weather and the price of winter clothing. I, on the other hand, couldn’t have been happier. With the weather, at least – everything else in my life was still relatively mediocre.

“I just don’t see how something as stupid as a
scarf
can cost twenty
bucks
!” said Lucia as I made us both dinner, one week after the Halloween party. “It was made in China anyway, so it isn’t like it’s one of a kind.”

“Tell you what – you get me some needles and wool, I’ll knit you a scarf of your very own,” I replied. We’d fallen into a routine these past two weeks – together we made dinner, together we did the dishes, together we stayed up watching mindless TV until our eyes were too sore to keep open. Lucia’s relationship with Brad had taken a turn for the worse over the weekend, when she’d found out he’d slept with his roommate’s sister. They hadn’t broken up officially, but I knew it was inevitable.

“You’re kidding, right?”

“Well, I
would
knit you a scarf, once I learn how to knit.” I gave her a grin – not so false nowadays – and she returned it rather weakly. In a number of days, our relationship had somehow reversed, with Lucia now the one unable to sleep alone, and me the one boosting her confidence any way I could. “Now there’s a promising superpower – speed-knitting! I could make a living off that.”

“Yeah, but you’d also be perpetually single and living with a dozen cats named after James Bond characters. Besides,
your
superpower is one of the best, I think. Making people happy is one of the great joys of life.” Oh God, the smile turned watery, and suddenly I found myself wanting to push all remaining sunshine from the Halloween party into her system. I’d already given her tiny hits of it at the worst points of the last week.

Instead, I rolled my eyes, trying to keep her mind off Brad. “I don’t think it counts if you’re
artificially
making them happy. If anything, my power is cheating the system – people need to make their own happiness, or else they get too dependent.”