Epiphany (8 page)

“Mel’s great and all, she’s just not you.”

Why the fuck would I say something so … stupid? What do I do now? Try to take it
back? Yeah, right, it’s already out there. Also, Mira and I are cut from the same
can’t-lie-for-shit cloth. She’ll know.

Shit! Shit! Shit!

“Mira, I’m so sorry. I don’t know where that came from.” She doesn’t respond or
even look in my direction. Oh, I’ve done it this time. There might not be any coming
back from this.

“Please say something,” I plead, without reciprocation on her part.

She’s on the furthest side of the arm chair as possible, damn near falling off the
edge and staring out the window lifelessly. The only sign she’s still alive is the
rapid rise and fall of her chest and the occasional hiccup.

She’s crying?

Bombarded with a rush of possession and overwhelming need to stop Mira’s tears, I
damn near knock the coffee off the table and kneel in front of her, trying to gauge
her current state of mind. Any man will tell you, the worst thing a woman can do
is cry. Crying can tell you a few things: she’s mad, sad, frustrated, hurt or depressed.
Because of what I said, it could be any of the above or a combination of a few.

I reach my hand out, trying to brush a few loose strands of hair away from her face
so I can really see her, but she pushes my hand away.

“What the hell are you doing?” Mira asks, finally breaking her vow of silence, voice
cracking.

“You’re crying. Please don’t cry. I’m so sorry I said that.” I back up noticeably,
giving her the space she needs.

“I’m not crying because you said it,” she sobs, wiping her nose on the back of her
sleeve, “it’s because you actually
feel
that way. I’m the one that’s sorry. So damn sorry I hurt you so badly. That
we
hurt you.”

Bawling again and gasping for air, Mira climbs over the arm of the chair, onto the
floor with me, and crawls in my lap. Wrapping her arms around my neck, she sobs hysterically
until only small whimpers pass her lips. I should have known. This is the way it
always was with Mira. She needs to be the one to come to you and not vice versa—her
own semblance of control in any given situation.

“Shhhh, I’ve got you. Shhhh,” I soothingly say, rubbing small circles on her back,
offering whatever kind of comfort I can. This is a fucked up situation for everyone,
I just never knew she took it so hard.

“I didn’t mean to hurt you,” she says, lifting her head, our eyes meeting. For the
first time since before the accident, I can actually see into her soul again. She’s
just as broken as me over all of this. The only difference is I can see the overpowering
happiness that being with Skylar provides her. Those two really do belong together,
no matter how I feel about it.

“I know. You’re a good person. You wouldn’t hurt a fly. I shouldn’t have said that.
It was stupid and careless.”

“Your feelings are never stupid. I was dumb to think that we could ever go back to
being friends like that,” she says, snapping her fingers. “I didn’t think of how
talking to you about Skylar would make you feel. You hate me for what I did.” Mira
pulls her knees tight against her chest, rocking softly in the confines of my arms.

“I could never hate you.
The exact opposite, in fact.
You’re my first love and I’ll always carry that with me. I just got caught in the
crossfire of destiny, that’s all. But you
are
right. Things won’t ever be the same again.”

For the first time in six months, I’m saying what needs to be said. It’s a sad realization,
but even more than that, it’s liberating. I think this is the closure I was seeking
all those months, wondering if Mira would think she made a mistake and come back to
me. Sitting back and thinking about it now, Skylar and Mira have a kind of love that
nobody—
nothing
—can stop. They’re destined to be together. I was only delaying the inevitable.
That’s the crazy thing about hindsight—you never realize it until
after
all the suffering.

“What do we do now?” Mira asks, standing up and walking to the hallway mirror. She
pulls a small compact from her purse and attempts to fix the after effects of crying.
I probably should tell her that nothing’s going to get rid of those puffy eyes or
flushed cheeks, but it’s too much fun watching her try.

“You’re going to fix whatever problems you and Skylar are having. You hurting me,
you being upset over hurting me, months of trying to get back to a sense of normalcy—don’t
let it all be in vain.”

“I won’t. I’ll figure out how to fix it.
But what about you?
What are you going to do?” She eyes me in the reflection of the mirror, still trying
to un-puff her eyes.

“I got a job offer in New York a few days ago. Mel and I talked about it and I think
I’m going to take it. I’m not sure if she’s going to come with me or not, but I know
I want this opportunity. Working in one of the largest accounting firms in the country
has always been a dream of mine. Living in New York City will just be a perk.” Mira’s
face falls again and more tears line her lower lid.

“I’ll miss you,” she says softly, walking back into the living room. She sinks into
the chair and fiddles with the strings of the quilt lying across the arm.

I’m sure the bread and coffee I gave her helped sober her up. Well, sober enough
not to yak all over my car. Standing, I reach for her hand, pulling her out of the
chair. “Not as much as I’ll miss you.”

I show a weak smile and assist Mira to the door. While she’s putting on her shoes,
I grab my keys and phone from the coffee table. Once we’re in the car, I’ll text
Skylar to let him know we’re on our way.

I really will miss this girl. I suppose, in order for me to move on, I actually have
to move the fuck on. Staying in the same spot, stagnant at a job I despise and pining
over a girl that’s long gone; that’s insane. Melissa and I will figure out where
we fit in the world, but for now, I have to focus on what’s best for me—put myself
first.

I open the front door, letting Mira walk out ahead of me. “I had a good time tonight.
I’m glad we could talk,” she says, stepping outside.

“Yeah, me, too.
It was nice.” Placing my hand on the small of her back to guide her to my car,
she stops mid step, causing me to catch the back of her heels.

“Oh fuck,” Mira whispers.

“Shit. I’m sorry. Are you okay?” I peek around her shoulder only to see her eyes
trained on a shadow at the end of the driveway. I try to focus in the dark, wanting
to see whatever’s out there.

“Oh fuck,” I echo her. She nailed this one right on the head.

CHAPTER TEN

Skylar

After hanging up with Mira, a mixture of emotions washes over me. On one hand, I’m
extremely upset that we have one fight over some kind of manifestation in her head
and she’s running back to Danny for comfort. Then on the other hand, the guilt weighing
on my heart clearly tells me that had I just been a little more open with her, none
of this would have happened.

So what do I do? Sit here and wait for her to waltz in here and talk it out, or go
and fight for my girl. I’ve never been one to back down from anything, why change
that now?

Grabbing my bike keys from the hook at the door, I’m out the door before another thought
passes. I stood in the background for too long while Danny had the time with Mira
that I wanted, craved. I’ll be damned if I let him get another second from her, especially
while we’re not on the best of terms. I’m not sure if his intentions are honorable
or not, but if I were him, and loved a woman who didn’t return it, I’d use anything
I could to weasel my way back into her good graces.

Lucky for me, all the snow’s melted during this mid winter heat wave and I don’t have
to worry about ice and snow. Mira’s probably gonna be pissed I’m riding, but taking
the truck would make this drive longer than it needs to be. Disregarding the guiding
tools designed for safe travels, you know, red lights, stop signs and speed limits,
the forty minute ride takes me a little over twenty. Pulling into the driveway, Mira’s
car is still in the driveway and Danny’s is on the curb.
So much for leaving soon, Mira.

Backing out, I decide to park at the apron of the driveway and take a quick breather.
I’m upset with Mira but
it’s
Danny who’s under my skin. Exactly who the fuck does he think he is? Mira’s a grown
ass woman and doesn’t need a security blanket like a toddler. As I finally feel collected
enough to handle this maturely, the front door opens and Mira comes walking out, followed
closely by Danny, with his hand on her fucking back.

As if she could feel my presence, Mira’s face turns ghost white and her jaw drops.
Danny’s look of gloom isn’t too far off once he realizes what has Mira stopped dead
in her tracks. His hand quickly retreats and he shoves in into his jeans pocket.
Too late for that pal, I fucking saw you pawing my fiancée.

“Skylar,” Mira whispers when she reaches the bottom of the drive where I’m leaned
against my bike. “Why the hell do you have your bike out? It’s dangerous and you
said you’d wait ‘til spring.”

“In case you haven’t noticed, it’s
fifty degrees and well after midnight. There’s no ice out here and I also figured
I’d come give you a ride home myself.”

“Hey, Sky.” Danny approaches looking rather guilty.
Oh, Danny Boy, why do you have that look of regret in your eyes?

“Danny,” I respond, emotionless, nodding my head in his direction. I shift my eyes
back to Mira. “Are you ready to go?”

“I can take her, it’s really not a problem,” Danny chimes in, moving closer to Mira.
This just isn’t going to work for me.

“No. You’ve done enough. How about you turn around and go inside. This is between
me and Mira.” His stance becomes more protective, stepping partially in front of
Mira. Best friend or not, it would appear he’s suicidal, basically begging for me
to kill him.

“You’re upset about something and don’t need to be riding with her while you’re pissed.
I’ll make sure she gets home safe.” Is he insinuating that I’m not going to be careful
with what’s
mine
?

“Okay, I’m done with this pleasantry shit. Mira, get on.” I hand her the spare helmet
which she doesn’t hesitate to put on her head. Her unfocused eyes scan between Danny
and me like she wants to say something or try to defuse the situation, but understands
deep down this is a pissing match.
One that I’m going to win.

“Pea, you don’t have to if you don’t want to,” Danny leans in, whispering loud enough
for me to hear him clearly.

Mira shakes her head, silently begging for him to let it go, and walks in front of
him. Once she reaches where I’m standing, she turns to face him.

“Danny. It’s fine. Thank you for the offer, but I’ll ride with Sky. Is my car okay
here until morning?” That’s my girl showing where her loyalties lie. My chest swells
with pride, my smug gaze landing back on Danny, waiting for him to make a move toward
her again.

“This is so fucked up. I told you, if you hurt her, you have me to answer to,” Danny
seethes, moving into my personal space. Craning my neck from side to side, listening
to the joints pop, I take a step toward him, not backing down.

Realizing exactly how to get through to him, I step back and put my arm around Mira’s
shoulder. I pull her into my side and kiss the tip of her nose all the while making
eye contact with Danny,
showing
him that I’ve clearly won this round. Once I’ve made my point clear, I slightly
nudge her behind me and match Danny’s step, again, with one of my own until we’re
only inches apart.

“I’ll tell you one more fucking time. How about you turn around and go inside. You’re
no longer needed.”

“I’ll go in when Mira tells me she’s fine.” He’s just not getting it. It’s more
than obvious now that his intentions were less than honorable. Mira probably had
no idea what she was walking into.

“Okay. I don’t think you’re getting it. You’re being a fucking moron right now.
Stop grasping at straws. You’re not going to stand here and tell me what I can and
can’t do with what belongs to me. Not now, not ever.”

“She’s not a prize thoroughbred. She’s a woman. You don’t own her,” he screams,
spit hitting my face. I can’t help but to laugh at his naivety. He’s been around
this life just as long as I have. He’s watched me turn into the man I am today.
He knows exactly what Mira is to me and what I’ll do to protect her.

“Bro, she’s on my bike, wearing my cut and my ring. I think it’s safe to say she
very much belongs to me. Stop being a jealous little boy, man up and walk away.
She’s mine. And if that wasn’t a big enough hint for you, how about you look at her
sitting on the back, waiting for me. Do you see how she’s not here with you, standing
in the front yard arguing with someone who’s supposed to be a friend like a dumb ass?
Danny, turn around and go inside.”

Danny opens his mouth to rebut yet again and I can’t take it. The look of concern
in Mira’s eyes is the only reason why I haven’t decked him yet. He’s a good guy,
but he’s pushing his luck and trying to get a rise out of me. This isn’t typical
behavior for him, and just as I’m ready to lose my shit, I’m really worried about
him. I know he’s got feelings for Mira, but at some point this has to stop. She
made her choice. It’s over.

Choosing to be the bigger man, I climb on my bike and start the engine. Danny looks
like he has something to say, yet finally turns to head inside when Mira’s arms wrap
around my waist and lays her head on my back.