Epiphany (16 page)

Quickly removing the shorts, it’s the amount of blood that has me rushing to the toilet.
I barely get the lid up before everything I’ve consumed comes spewing out. “Skylar,”
I choke between vomiting spells. Every time I glance to my bloodied shorts lying
on the white rug, my stomach recoils again.
“Skylar!” I scream, praying he can hear me over the rushing water in the sink and
the closed door.

“Eat too much cheesecake,” he says, still groggy from sleep.

“Babe,” I cry, pointing to my shorts.

“What is it?” he asks, before looking down. When his brain catches up with his eyes,
the sheer terror drains his face of any color.
“Oh God, Mira.
What do we do?” Panic setting in, I try to answer, but I start heaving again.

Once I’ve finished vomiting, Skylar picks me up off the floor and carries
me into the bedroom. Sitting on the edge of the bed, he roots through the closet,
throwing clothes at me, urging me to get dressed. I stand up to pull on a pair of
sweat pants and stare at the very large blood stain on my side of the bed. I stop
in my tracks and know … just know that I’ve lost this baby. That’s too much blood
for it to be casual bleeding like most women experience during their pregnancy.

“Mira, come on. We’re going to the hospital,” Skylar says, helping me pull my pants
up the rest of the way.

“What’s the point? I’m not pregnant anymore,” I say flatly. Still not moving, Skylar
pulls a hooded sweatshirt over my head and my arms through the sleeves. Dragging
me by the hand, he pulls me into the living room and pushes me slightly so I sit on
the couch.

Emotionless, I watch him grab my sneakers from the front door. Carefully, he picks
up one foot and puts the shoe on and ties the laces, followed by the next. Hoisting
me in his arms, he carries me to through the apartment, grabs his keys from the counter
and walks us into the elevator. My arms are wrapped so tightly around his
neck,
I’m shocked he can actually breathe. He never makes an attempt to put me down until
we reach the car, where he sits me in the front seat.

“Seatbelt,” he says once in the driver’s seat. I know he’s talking, but I can’t make
myself do anything.
What’s the point?
Nothing’s going to save this baby, he’s already gone.

Skylar reaches across me, grabs the seatbelt and clicks it into place. Putting the
car in gear, he races out of the parking garage, barely avoiding taking his mirrors
off as he passes through the gate. When we pull up to the hospital, he doesn’t bother
parking the car, but pulls straight to the entrance. Turning the engine off and pulling
the keys from the ignition,
it’s
mere seconds before I’m in his arms again, being carried through the automatic doors.
Skylar tosses the security guard the keys and walks straight to the triage desk, disregarding
anyone else who’s been waiting.

“My fiancée.
She’s bleeding,” he says, trying to catch his breath.

“Where from, sir?” the nurse asks, looking me up and down.

“My baby’s gone,” I lifelessly mutter. The nurse takes my arm, and by my guess, she’s
gauging my pulse.

“Ma’am?
Are you pregnant?”

“I was.”

“When I woke up she was in the bathroom vomiting and there was blood all over her
shorts and the bed. I think she’s losing the baby. You guys stopped it the last
time. Stop it again!” Skylar screams.

“Okay, sir. Let’s get her back and we’ll do the paperwork later. Follow me.” Skylar’s
hot on her heels, me still in his arms. I don’t know why he’s rushing. They won’t
be able to do anything. The emptiness is seeping into my soul, blocking out everything
around me.

A doctor comes into the exam room minutes after Skylar sets me on the gurney. He’s
asking questions and I vaguely hear Skylar answering them for me. A hospital gown
appears on the bed out of nowhere. I make no moves to disrobe and put it on. Just
as Sky dressed me earlier, he undresses me, wraps the gown around my body and drapes
a sheet across my legs.

An unknown amount of time passes and the doctor comes back in the room with a portable
ultrasound machine. Skylar takes the seat to my right and the doctor sets everything
up to my right. Lowering the sheet and putting warm goo on my belly, he pulls the
wand out and starts searching for my baby. I can’t watch him. It’s a lost cause.
I’m a lost cause.

Instead, I stare in the direction of Skylar. I already know what’s he’s going to
say, but it’s not until tears freely fall from Skylar’s eyes and he latches onto my
hand that it’s confirmed.

Suddenly, fright replaces Skylar’s sorrow and more people enter my room. I glance
around, trying to understand what’s happening.

“Mira?
Mira stay with us,” the doctor prompts.

“I’m here,” I respond.

The last thing I remember is the doctor’s rough knuckles rubbing frantically on my
chest. Then everything starts to fade.

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

Skylar

“Mira!”
I scream as the doctor tries to bring her back. Mira’s body lies unresponsive on
the gurney and there are at least five people in the small room, trying everything
they can.

“Sir, you’re going to have to step out,” the original doctor says while pounding on
Mira’s chest. The nurse standing next to him prepares the paddles to shock her back
if this doesn’t work. A second nurse is behind Mira, getting ready to intubate her.

“I’m not fucking leaving her. Fix her!” Still screaming, a security guard twice
my size enters through the curtain, thinking he’s intimidating me. No luck, big guy.
“Call your dogs off. I’m not leaving her.”

“Sir,” the security guard’s baritone voice sounds from behind me.

“No. You might wanna go get a buddy or two. I’m not fucking leaving her.”

“She’s back,” another doctor calls, pulling up the rails on the gurney and unlocking
the wheels.

“What’s going on? Where are you taking her?” I stand in front of the gurney, not
allowing it past me until someone gives me some answers.

The original doctor steps into my personal space, putting his hand on my shoulder.
“I’ve seen this kind of thing before. I believe she’s got some internal bleeding
and we need to get it under control. It’s most likely a ruptured cyst or something
simple like that, but with her abdomen filling we need to fix the problem before it’s
even more out of hand. I’m going to need you to go to the waiting room and someone
will come out and update you as soon as we have some information.”

Stepping out of the way, Mira rolls past me, eyes half closed, not looking her usual
self, headed for an operating room. I know we weren’t fighting, but the last thing
she’ll remember if she doesn’t make it out is me crying—mourning the loss of our baby.
I can’t lose them both in the same day.

“I love you,” I scream down the hallway, wanting to make sure she knows … just in
case.

As I make my way to the waiting room, I notice the sign for the chapel. If there’s
any time to ask the man upstairs for a little assistance and guidance, it’s now.

Walking through the heavy stained glass doors, I’m in awe at how beautiful it actually
is. Actually never having been inside one before, it’s shockingly breathtaking.
A few small rows of pews lead up toward an altar with small candles lit on the pulpit.
Taking a seat in the back, I bow my head and do the only logical thing to do at a
time like this. Pray.

God, please don’t take her. Mira constantly tells me that everything always happens
for a reason. You must have had a reason to take my child. He’s in your care now,
but not her, too. I have so much love to show her and so many more memories to make.
I’ve made mistakes and haven’t come to you in a long time, but this is really important.
Please, just let me have more time with her. I just need more time to prove she made
the right choice.

Picking my head up, tears freely flowing from my eyes, I look to the heavens, reiterating
my plea to anyone that’s listening, “Please don’t take her.”

I’m not sure exactly how long I spend in the chapel, but it’s enough time that when
I make it to the waiting room, a very young doctor, probably an intern, is asking
the desk if they have seen me.

“I’m Skylar McBride. Is Mira okay?” I run to where the doctor’s standing, tapping
her on the shoulder.

“Mr. McBride, she’s in recovery. You can follow me back.”
Thank you, God.

Following her through all the winding hallways, we finally reach the surgical recovery
wing, and eventually a few moments later, Mira’s room. The color has come back to
her face and she’s peacefully sleeping.

“What happened?” I ask, needing to know why all of a sudden she was rushed in for
surgery.

“It appears that Ms. Adams had a cyst on her ovary and it ruptured during her miscarriage.
We made a small incision in her lower abdomen to control the bleeding and ended up
having to remove the entire ovary. We also completed a D&C to remove the remaining
products of conception,” she says, straight faced.

Products of conception?
Is that my child? I understand doctors are trained to speak in medical terms, not
becoming attached to their cases, but
products of conception
. That’s a terrible way to say what was left of my baby.

“Is she going to be okay without her ovary?” The little bit I know about the female
reproductive system isn’t enough to give me any insight as to what kind of road we’re
going to be traveling.

“Well, it’s going to be very difficult for her to become pregnant again, but not impossible.
Medically speaking, she will be perfectly fine once she’s healed.”

“Okay, thank you. How long will she be out?” It’s really fucking with my head to
see Mira lying in a hospital bed, unconscious. I’ve done this before and the mental
toll it’s taking on me is enough to send me straight back to the chapel.

“Shouldn’t be more than a few hours.
A nurse will be in to check on her vitals every once in a while. You’re more than
welcome to wait here or back in the lobby.”

“I’ll stay. Thanks again, Doctor.”

The young doctor shows a tight lipped smile and exits the room. Making myself as
comfortable as I can in the corner of the room, I pull my cell phone from my jeans.
I was so caught up in the commotion
earlier,
I didn’t think to call her mother. It feels like everything is happening all over
again. I just want to wake up and still
be in bed with Mira at home.

“Mom?” I say when Mira’s mom answers the phone.

“Skylar, what’s wrong? Is it the baby?” she asks with a saddened tone.

“Yeah, and her, too.
There were some complications and she just got out of surgery. The docs said everything
went fine, but they had to take one of her ovaries.” Resting my elbows on my knees,
I try to understand everything that happened today. We’re perfectly fine, enjoying
a night together and then out of nowhere our lives are turned upside down. If I can’t
make sense out of this, how the hell can I explain it to anyone else?

“Oh God.
Okay, I’m coming down. Give me twenty minutes and I’ll be there,” she frantically
says.

“Don’t worry about it tonight. She’s gonna be out for a few more hours and I think
visiting hours are over. Just come down in the morning. I’m gonna call Kylee when
I hang up with you. Get some rest.”

“You worry about Mira, I’ll call Kylee. That girl won’t listen if you say to sit
still, but she will for me,” she jokes, obviously trying to feel something other than
terrified for her daughter.

“Alright, Mom.
I’ll talk to you in the morning.”

Tossing my phone on the edge of Mira’s bed, I scoot my chair as close as possible,
kicking my feet up on the end. Sleep won’t come easy, I know that. It probably would
be easier to rest in the waiting room, with the recliners, but I want to be the first
thing Mira sees when she wakes up … again. All the memories this is bringing back
… I just don’t know what to do with myself.

Leaning over the edge of her bed, elbows resting on the comfort of the mattress and
hands in my hair, I pray to the heavens that God doesn’t take my girl from me. From
the second I saw her, I knew she was special and would change everything for me.
And she did.

Taking her lifeless hand in mine, I softly rub my fingers over hers, kissing the tip
of each, wishing she’d just wake up. I know she belongs to Danny, but there’s this
connection between us that I can’t deny. Something deep within me tells me that my
inclination is right; we’re meant to be. What can I do, though? Take someone so
amazing from my best friend? For now, she belongs to him and me, both of us loving
her unconditionally.

Placing a feather light kiss to the inside of her hand, I place it over my heart and
tell her the things that I wouldn’t be able to if she were awake.

“Sweets, please don’t leave us. We love you. I can’t imagine doing this without
you. You’re my best friend. You know me better than anyone else does. I need you
around. I love you, Mira. Always have, always will.”

Hearing a noise at the door, I quickly turn around to find nobody there. Maybe it
was her spirit? I don’t know. Resting my head at the edge of her bed, I
lie there, waiting and praying for her to come back to me.

While I’m sitting here, reliving my painful past, a groan coming from Mira jars me
out of my subconscious, directing all my attention to her.

“Mira?
Sweets, are you awake?” I whisper softly.

Mira

Blacking in and out of consciousness, the memories come in small chunks, not giving
me the full story.