Envious (13 page)

“Hi, Sandy.” She sounded so calm. Her eyes were slightly red, but she wasn’t crying. She wasn’t angry. She was trying to be calm, and it was working. “I need to talk to you about something,” she said with sad sweetness as she motioned for me to sit next to her. I did. She took one of my icy hands in hers and held it for a moment before she began to speak. “I know about what happened between you and Eric, after the parties.”

“I’m so sorry. I overheard you arguing with him.” I was close to tears, and Aurora squeezed my hand. It felt like when we were younger. Whenever something bad happened, whether in a movie or real life, we would hold each other’s hands and say it would be over by the time we let go.

“Sandy, I wish you had told me, but I understand why you didn’t. You always try to avoid trouble, but I want to tell you that I’m not mad at you. I know that…you think you love Eric. And you may, I could see it in your face. When I first introduced you, I saw how you looked at him. I thought I should break up with him right then, but I was already in love, too. I hoped that you would find someone else and forget about Eric.”

Her hand began to shake and she tightened her fingers around my hand. “Sandy, I thought I knew Eric. But what he did…I told him that I suspected that you had feelings for him last year, but he refused to believe it. He said you were just shy and I tried to believe it too. I tried not to feel badly whenever you saw Eric and me together.”

Tears rolled down my face, and Aurora began to sniffle as she continued, “I thought he was a
good guy
, I never thought he would take advantage of you like that. I told him how you felt, and he went behind my back to a party and he used you…I never thought he would do something like that.”

I cleared my throat silently and began to speak. “I knew it was wrong…I’m sorry. It’s just…I’ve never felt like this about anyone before, and it was so hard to stop myself.”

“He used you,” Aurora added with contempt. “I can’t stand to look at him anymore. It’s over between us.”

1205

Women came and took me to wash. They filled the basin with steaming hot water. I felt like I spent a lifetime in that tub as they scrubbed my numb body and treated me with the finest care. They swore they would wash the day’s horrors from my body. After they were finished, I felt clean on the outside, but inside I was still a mess, covered in warriors’ blood and the torment of their passing. I was dressed in the clothing of a stranger and Heodred arrived to escort me to the hall, where the evening meal was ready to commence. The pyres were being built outside and treasures were being gathered for the families who had lost someone. I walked silently past the work and stayed close to Heodred.

My throat was dry and cracked, but I could not last one more moment without asking. “Heodred, how is he?”

He bowed his head low as he stopped walking. He looked at me, his brown eyes soft. “Lady, I do not know. He was taken to the physician. All that we can do is pray.” I nodded, slowly tipping my head forward and back. “He is strong. He has saved my life in battle and I hope to save his life as wel
l. A good man.”

CHAPTER 13

MAY THE TRUTH BE TOLD

I sat in my humanities class, an honors class, which must mean “twice as boring” class. I could barely keep my eyes open. We were—sorry, I mean Professor Dodge was—talking about Dracula, an interesting subject that only he could make incredibly boring and perverted. Half the class had their heads in their arms, “resting their eyes.” They were sleeping. Last night there was a huge party that took over all three floors of our building. You could hear the music’s throbbing beat from the other side of campus. I didn’t go to the party. Aurora and I locked ourselves in our room and attempted to bond. We needed some serious healing after Eric had hurt us so badly.

Thanksgiving was coming. It was this Thursday, and our last school day this week was Tuesday, tomorrow. Aurora and I were going to drive back home together in her car. After Aurora’s class, we would head off. I was excited about going home but not excited to see anyone, like my family, one family member in particular. Todd.

We were freed from our confines in the torturous hell called my classroom. I stepped out into the hallway and headed to the stairwell. I dragged my feet as I headed sleepily down the steps.

“Hey, Sandy?” I turned and saw Tony, smiling shyly a few steps behind. “How are you feeling?” he asked.

“Oh, fine.”

“Can you believe that party last night? Unfortunately, my room was overtaken and I had to go find someplace else to sleep. I just have to stop back and assess the damage. Hopefully, nothing will be broken or stolen. I had all my books right out in the open, although I don’t know who would want to steal them.” He smiled again, and that was when I realized our connection, from the past…Elijah.

He looked and acted just like Elijah, my sweet brother in the past. Could he be? Could he be my brother?

“Where are you going?” he asked me.

“Back to my room,” I said. I needed more time to tell if he was Elijah. I had only had a few short memories of him, but I had to know. “But I can help you clean up, if you want.”

“Yeah, sure. That would be great.”

We walked together across campus. I pulled my denim jacket closed. Tony shoved his fists into his jeans pockets. The wind had a sharp chill to it, and under my jacket I had only worn a short-sleeved shirt. I looked to Tony in his thick, garnet sweater. He shivered slightly too as we walked.

When we reached his hall, the cleaning people were there, picking up cans and cleaning up what I hoped wasn’t vomit. As we entered Tony’s room, I fully realized why he would have fled his room. It was a wreck. Cans were empty and crushed on the carpeted floor. Open cans were on the desks. Beer was spilled on the carpet and Tony’s books were scattered. And then I saw Eric. He lay on his bed, looking as though he had been thrown there and had refused to get up. I had forgotten that he was Elijah’s—I mean, Tony’s—roommate.
How stupid of me to come here.
I did not want to see him. I shrank back, hiding in the doorway.

Tony walked over to Eric, asking, “Have you been drinking all night? You’re going to trash your system.”

I forced myself to step into the room. Eric sat up, his eyes squinting. He turned his drunken attention to Tony, dropping a bottle from his hand that said Bacardi on it. The clear liquid spilled out onto the floor.

“This place is such a mess,” Elijah-Tony, Tony complained, completely overwhelmed.
Get it straight, Sandy.

As Tony bent over, picking up the bottle distastefully, Eric grabbed at his throat. Tony jumped back at the sudden movement and pushed his hand away but Eric caught him by the neck with his other hand.

“What did you do?” Eric demanded, gritting his teeth, squeezing his grip on Tony. “What did you do?!” Tony gasped for air, choking as Eric pushed him down onto the floor, and I stood, frozen in fear. “You told Aurora you son of a bitch! Bastard, you friggin’ asshole!”

“No,” was the sound that moaned from behind my lips. It was barely audible. The bottle slipped from Tony’s hand as he struggled to free himself from Eric’s firm grasp, trying in vain to pull his fingers from his throat. Tony reached out, grabbing a hard covered book from the floor and whacked Eric in the side of the head with it. Eric’s grip loosened and Tony tore free. He slid backward across the carpet, kicking off from Eric’s bed and scrambling over cans as he attempted to stand. As he finally got to his feet, so did Eric.

Eric lunged for him again, and I yelled, “Elijah, watch out!” Elijah…Tony turned around at my warning, slipping on a beer can, and fell backward to the floor. I rushed inside and grabbed a hold Eric’s arm, poor competition for him, but it was enough to stop the madness.

“Leave him alone, Eric! He didn’t tell Aurora anything, so just leave him alone, you stupid jerk!”

Eric looked down at me as I spoke, his waxy eyes wild.

“You ruined it for yourself!” I yelled. “I don’t know who told, but it’s your fault! It’s your own fault!” He just stared at me blankly. His eyes were unfamiliar. Cold. I dropped his arm and grabbed Tony’s as quickly as I could, pulling him up and out of the room. I slammed the door shut, to keep a strong barrier between the two of them, to protect Elijah.

“Tony, are you alright?” I asked, hands trembling now.

“What was he saying?” Tony asked, horrified, holding his neck protectively.

“Aurora broke up with him. He must have thought you said something to her.” Eric scared me. First he used me, now he was attacking innocent people? He was becoming less and less like the Eric from my memories.

Tony rubbed his neck. It was red from Eric’s hold. “What a freak,” he said softly to himself, shaking his head in disbelief.

“You called me Elijah,” he said in a soft breath. My eyes grew wide. The name had slipped from my lips without thinking.

“Yeah, um, I don’t know why I said that.” I could feel a strong red flush creeping up my body and burning into my face.

“You mean…you didn’t know it’s my name?”

“What?” I asked, heart faltering, mind racing. Did he know? Was he my brother from the past? Did he know that he’s my brother from the past?

“Yeah,” Tony answered, leaning back against the wall, still rubbing at his neck. “It’s my first name. Anthony is my middle name. I go by
that
.”

I sat in Aurora’s red jeep as we drove toward our hometown for the holiday break. My mind had gone numb when I heard Tony say that he was Elijah. I wanted to ask him if he remembered me from our past lives, but I didn’t know how to go about asking. How could I ask without making him freak out? Was I the only one who remembered? Did Aurora remember? Did Eric?

“You’re being quiet. What’s on your mind?” Aurora asked, moving her eyes from me, back to the road.

“Turkey,” I lied. “And stuffing.”

We pulled into my driveway. No one was home. My house looked the same as always, a small, yellow house with a red door and a white porch, next to the small white house with the blue door and three iron chairs on the porch. Aurora’s house. A chair for each of them, Aurora, Mrs. Bacster, and Mr. Bacster, who I would never see again. I sighed sadly at the thought of him as I pulled my bag out of the backseat of Aurora’s car. Aurora drove away instead of going home. I wondered where she was going as I entered my home, dropping my bag inside the living room, decorated with white walls and light woodwork, hardwood floors, and an odd assortment of colored glass vases and bottles in anywhere the light touched. The air smelled like…cigarette smoke. I had almost forgotten the smell of my house, though it was much stronger than I remembered. I brought my luggage up the oak stairs to my room and pushed my sheer blue curtains back as I opened the windows all the way. I turned on the ceiling fan, hoping to get the pungent smell of an ashtray out of my belongings and sprayed vanilla scent in every corner. It didn’t help much, but it was worth the effort. I went to the kitchen for dusting rags and furniture polish. I cleaned everything, the shelves and my desk, and was just about to vacuum when my bedroom door flew open.

It was my cousin. Todd Moretti, my idiot cousin, who had been living with my parents and me since I was fourteen. And he had been nothing but trouble.

Todd’s wide, built body filled my doorway, darkening it like an ominous cloud.
How fitting.
He hadn’t changed a bit, still grungy and slouching with a cigarette hanging out of his mouth. Aurora thought Todd was one of the hottest guys she’d ever met, but I couldn’t understand how she could possibly think that. His face was nice, when he wasn’t scowling, and his body was built and ripped like a professional fighter’s, but it was impossible to ignore the blatant loser persona. All of Todd’s clothes were always wrinkled and falling apart. The t-shirt he wore was dark, making the fraying at the seams more apparent as the fabric stretched across his thick muscles. Not to mention the front of it had a drawing of a hand with the middle finger up, but scrambled over like it was censored for TV, and above it read in bold white letters, F@%# YOU. Todd’s dark brown hair was an absolute mess, like he had never owned a comb. It fell in thick pieces over and across his tan forehead, almost shielding his light gray eyes, and hiding a bold scar that cut through his right eyebrow. He looked nothing like anyone in our family.

“You’re still living here?” he asked dryly, without bothering to remove the cigarette from his lips.

I stared coldly into his bored eyes. “I guess I don’t have to ask you.”

He opened his mouth in feigned shock and his cigarette fell to the pale blue carpet. “Hey!” I exclaimed, picking it up quickly. It wasn’t lit.

“Whoa, Miss Perfect brought friggin’ attitude home,” he stated sarcastically in his deep voice. “You
are
Sandy, right?”

I glared at him. “Nice shirt,” I countered, ignoring his comment.

He shrugged nonchalantly. “Laundry day. This thing is ancient. I’m surprised it still fits, but mom always did buy things way too big for me. Well, barely fits. Kinda tight. Makes me look like a screwed-up beefcake, right?”

“Where are my parents?” I asked, wanting to be done with him. Usually he was pretty much silent, but when he started talking, it was hard to get him to shut up.