Entropy (The Countenance Trilogy 3) (17 page)

“She called when I was about halfway home—said her friend came by with her mom, and they’re baking cookies.” I nod over to the mixing bowl. “Sounds like a trend.” Crap. The last thing I needed to do was insinuate I was here baking cookies with Grayson. “Not that I was participating.” I hold my hands out as if this were a stick up.

She wrinkles her nose, never taking those crystalline eyes off mine. “I’m just sorry I was witness to the cookie exchange.”

“Again—I swear I wasn’t participating. That was a hostile attack I didn’t see coming.”

Her face deepens a severe shade of red. “I guess you should get used to those.” A sweeping sorrow takes over her features. “Carter let me in on what it really means to be someone’s Essential. I guess this is far more serious than I thought.”

“Wes didn’t go over any of that with you?” That’s just like Wes—walk her into something backward as long as he gets his way.

“He might have. I’m not sure.” She touches her temples and closes her eyes for a moment. “This is all more than I can process right now.” She takes in a quick breath. “You want to go somewhere private? The basement, maybe?”

The basement. There’s a bedroom down there with a mattress ready and willing to accommodate, and it’s all too tempting. I don’t think I should be anywhere near someplace private with Laken, especially since she’s all but a few days away from a ritual akin to her wedding.

“I can’t.” It takes far more effort than I ever thought possible to push those words out. “Laken.” I shake my head, despondent. “You’ve made your choice. I don’t want to interfere.”

“Coop.” She digs her fingers into my chest. “You know why I’m doing this.”

I pull her hand off and bring it to my lips. “I swear to you, Laken, there are other ways.”

Tears glitter in her eyes. “I don’t believe there are.” She gives a hard sniff. “Think about it. Both you and Marky, your dad, too—you’re all going to be reunited with your mom this Sunday night.”

“It’s not a sure thing.” I would have never thought there was too high a price to pay for retrieving my mother from that hellhole, and now I’m not sure. All I know is, I feel like the world’s lousiest son for even thinking it. “You don’t know for a fact that they’ll give into your request.”

“Wes says they can’t deny us.”

It’s true. The Counts will most likely honor it, but as long as there’s a fraction of a chance, they won’t, it’s not worth losing Laken over.

Laken pleads with me to understand with those big, innocent eyes of hers, and it guts me. It tears through my body as if I just chugged a gallon of bleach.

Shit.

What the hell was I thinking? Hell, I know what I was thinking. That one look at me and she’d give both Wes and the Counts the finger. But Laken has a heart the size of Jupiter, and she’d sacrifice every damn day of her future to get her family back.

“You’re a better person than me, you know that?”

She shakes her head just barely. “I’m a terrible person,” she whispers it low, hypnotic. “I’m a liar. I don’t deserve anybody.” She stares off at the expansive wall of stainless appliances. “I’m giving everything to Wes.” Her lips try to curl into a smile, but she doesn’t give in. “Once upon a time, he was all I wanted.” She forces her eyes to float up to mine before they retreat to somewhere just above my chest. “Jen says I should kiss you.” The words come out staggered, mechanical. “Would you kiss me, Coop?”

I pull Laken in, wrapping my arms tight around her back. She’s going to belong to Wesley forever, and after Sunday, I’ll be taking my life in my hands just holding her like this.

“I don’t think I should.” I touch my lips to her hair and savor the feeling. Laken believes there’s a countdown in the works, but in reality, the clock expired the moment she agreed to the Essential ceremony, and perhaps long before that. It looks like I’m too big of a pussy to admit that her heart has belonged to Wesley all along.

Laken takes a deep breath and stares down at the floor a second. “I get it.” Her arms find their way around my waist, and she hangs on for dear life as if she were about to fall fathoms into the deep unknowable sea. “Would you mind if I introduced Lacey to Marky? They’re just about the same age, and I thought—”

I touch my finger to her lips and nod. “Of course.” I press my eyes into hers with all my heart. “She would love to know Lacey. And Marky would love to have you in her life as well.” I hold that wall up around my thoughts because God knows if I don’t, I might accidently guilt her into changing her mind. I’d get on my knees and beg, but I want the decision to be Laken’s. A part of me is pissed that she feels trapped into doing this—that Wes has her right where he wants her, but at the end of the day, Laken is the one pulling the trigger. This isn’t about me, and maybe, in the end, it’s not about Laken either. Chalk it up to another fuck-up sponsored by the Counts.

Laken closes her eyes and presses a heartfelt kiss over my finger before I slip it away.

“Goodnight, Laken.” I pull her in and hold her like that a very long time.

“Goodnight, Coop.” Her fingers dig into my back, and I savor the feeling.

This is it for us. We’ve walked all the way to the end of the line.

I think we both know what we’re really saying is goodbye.

Wesley

Fletch clicks away at his keyboard while working on a last minute paper for Econ. I should be doing the same, but I’ve been staring into my phone for twenty minutes, like a moron, at the pictures Grayson sent.

A numbness, a shock and pain with no end and no beginning has taken over my body, and I’m afraid to move, afraid to breathe.

The first one was the kicker, Laken in his arms, her face buried in his neck. Then there’s one of Coop with his finger over her lips—another with the two of them openly holding one another as if the world were about to end, right there in the fucking kitchen. They’re not even hiding it anymore.

Grayson said Kres would gladly comfort me tonight—all I had to do was say the word. An unwanted memory of just how she used to comfort me rolls through my body. I wish Laken wanted me that way. And maybe she does. Coop was the one who went to her, not the other way around. But the way she’s holding him—that look of grief on her face lets me know she’s afraid of what comes next.

A knock erupts at the door and both Fletch and I look up as if it were magically going to answer itself.

In truth, I’m scared to death to see who it is—to find Laken on the other side waiting to tell me she can’t go through with the ceremony because she doesn’t love me and never wants to see my fucking face again.

The door opens, and it’s not Laken, it’s Coop—thankfully alone. I’m not sure how I’d feel if they were tag-teaming me to let me in on their “feelings” for one another.

Fletch looks up from his desk. “What’s up, Coop?”

“Not much.” He steps in, shooting me an apprehensive look. “You mind if I get a minute alone with Wes?”

“Why? You want to dry hump his leg?” Fletcher settles back into his sports article.

“Get out, Fletch,” I bark it out a little harsher than anticipated.

He gets up and tosses a pair of socks at me. “I’ll be back in ten. Try not to let him get you to second base until the next date, sugar lips.” He takes off and entombs the two of us in this tiny room. It feels like a cage—like a prison cell, a death chamber.

I force myself to look at him. He used to be someone I counted as a friend, but now I can’t make it past the fact he’s some guy that Laken has willingly sealed her lips over—that she almost replaced me with because I couldn’t believe a word she said. My gut cinches as he takes a seat across from me because, deep down, I’m afraid Laken has already done just that, replaced me.

“I take it you’re not here to borrow a book,” I say it low and measured, grinding my teeth together to keep from roaring in his face to stay the fuck away from my girlfriend.

“Nope.” He clasps his hands over his knees. “Just wanted to let you know I ran into Laken.” He holds my gaze heavy as iron.

Ran into Laken?
What an asshole.

“Yeah? Let me guess, you wrapped your arms around her and begged her not to take that next step with me because you’re afraid your dick will fall off the next time you’re near her.”

His eyes widen a notch.

“Thought so.” I should strangle him with a shoelace and call it self-defense. Half the school would back me.

“You thought wrong.” He blinks a quick smile. “I came by to tell her I supported whatever she wanted. I mean it, Wes. Whatever makes Laken happy is what I want.”

I nod into him, solemn as shit. “Good deal. That’s all I want, too.”

“Good.” Coop spears me with a look, like maybe he knows something. “That’s all either one of us should want. Laken is an amazing person.” His Adam’s apple rises before taking a dive. “She deserves anything her heart desires.”

He gets up and takes off.

Fletch comes back into the room with a miffed look on his face in light of his momentary displacement.

Funny, Fletch is more ticked about getting his ass out of a chair than Coop was about losing Laken forever.

I smell a rat.

And the rat’s name is Cooper Flanders.

Thursday, the coach calls off practice, so I hang out with Fletch. It’s strange because of all the memories of Cider Plains, it’s the ones with Laken and Fletch that bring me the most joy, and here he is. The last thing about Kansas I remember was the pain of losing my grandfather. That man was a saint, a hero, and everything golden that I wish I could be. I aim to be half the man he was. He loved my grandmother to her dying breath, and when she passed, she was all he ever talked about. That’s exactly how I plan on loving Laken, with every fiber of my being. Of course, I want to die first. I never want to live a moment on this planet without Laken.

Fletch and I play racquetball then clean up and head back through the gym. Usually it’s just a bunch of guys weight training, but I’m a little surprised to find that the entire cheer squad has descended on the free weights. I spot Laken and make a beeline in her direction before Flanders shows up because, God knows, he can’t leave her alone for one fucking minute.

“Hey.” I tweak her ribs playfully, and she spins into me. Her eyes smile before she does, and she wraps her arms around my neck like she’s actually happy to see me.

“I
am
happy to see you.” She bites over her lip, proud to have read my mind so freely.

My heart thumps unnaturally because we both know where she’s getting her infusions.

“You need any help with those?” I nod down at the hot pink dumbbells she’s sporting and hold back a smile. Laken is cute as hell in her cheer uniform—those day-glow fashion accessories dangling from her hands.

“This is why I love you,” she purrs as I get behind her and mold my body to hers. “You’re always so willing to help.” She bites down a laugh, and my heart soars at how genuine she is. It’s as if we’re back, the old Laken and Wes.

“You want to hang out later?” I press a kiss to her ear. “Just you and me? I’d love to sketch you in your uniform.”

A laugh bubbles from her throat. I don’t think I’ve ever seen her so happy.

“How about we save the sketching for next week?” She pulls one of the weights to her chin. “Maybe I’ll let you sketch me
without
my uniform?” She drops her gaze to the floor. Her lips press together as if the idea excited her on some level. I don’t bother telling her I’ve imagined that scenario a million times at least—that she was fostering one of my oldest fantasies and a fresh hard-on in my boxers all at the same time.

“Sounds like a very erotic date.”

“Oh, it will be,” she purrs into her assurance.

The football team bleeds into the area with Coop leading the pack.

Crap.

I land another kiss to Laken’s cheek, then one more just shy of her lips as my body presses into her back.

“Wes, stop,” she whispers.

“Stop what?” I help her do a few quick reps as her body goes rigid.

“You know,
what
. Cooper is here. I don’t want you making him feel bad.”

I shoot a hard look up at him, and he’s quick to turn the other way.

“Coop is fine.” I land another kiss to her ear. “But if it makes you feel better, I’ll take a quick shower and let you do your thing.” This is a good time to show her I won’t think twice about leaving her alone in the same room with that predator. Besides, sweat was raining from my body just a few minutes ago. I wouldn’t blame her for using Coop as an excuse to get my smelly ass away. “Be right back.” I glide my hands over her hips before jogging back to the showers. I spend the next twenty minutes lathering and rinsing, and all the while imagining Cooper Flanders’ wrapped around Laken like a vine. I dry off and toss my clothes on before heading back.

The weight room has all but cleared out. The cheerleaders are hitting the exit, and I spot Coop with Laken at the door. She nods into him with her eyes dragging down her cheeks, her lips pursed. He’s playing her for sympathy. Poor Coop and his unloved dick. She tries to hug him, but he backs up and offers a half-hearted high five instead.