Entangled (A Tryst Novel) (21 page)

If he’s telling me the truth, then his words about how he feels about me are even truer. My mouth falls open just enough to expel a pent-up exhale, releasing the tension in my chest, and I nod through it, realizing that we’re okay. Just like I had hoped.

Though, I might consider violence in the presence of America’s not-so-sweetheart, Kathryn Caraway. What a stupid name, anyway.

The nerves in my gut dissolve, and I tweak a brow. “Okay.”

He leans back, seemingly stunned. “Okay? So, you’re not mad?”

I roll my eyes, grabbing for the fork I dropped, but gift him with a smile. “Well, of course I’m mad . . . furious, really,” I add, trying to say it with enough sarcasm to get his shoulders to drop below his ears. “I don’t want any of that happening, but I guess I need to realize that sometimes people are going to push their limits, with you, and with me. We just have to hope we handle it right, and we are.” I have to pause to process my incredibly adult response, realizing I’m making more headway than I thought I would. I grin fully this time. “I’m more concerned that you let yourself get so out of control.”

Finally, his broad shoulders fall, and I wish he was closer.

“Trust me,” he replies with a chuff. “I regretted it. And next time I do that—” I raise both brows in reaction, making him laugh, and the sound is heaven because it means we’ve done it. We’ve made it through. He continues, “IF I decide to do that again, I want you there. We’ve had angry sex, but not drunk sex.”

I don’t fight the blush rushing to my face. I look away, releasing a soft chuckle. This boy and his one-track mind. I refuse to mention our first encounter at my birthday party months ago when he had easily convinced me to partake in a friends-with-benefits for the first time that ended up turning into so much more.

A comfortable silence falls between us. My eyes peek up to catch his smirk, which only ignites mine. This is when I realize we’re back to normal.

Even the tiniest crook to his lips, and that glimmer in his eyes, are like the sunshine after a rain, and I just want to soak in it.

I pour us more sake as I attempt to hide my smile.

“Are we okay?” he asks.

I nod. “I actually think we are.”

“We’re so mature.”

I laugh as we both grab for new cups of sake. What surprises me most is that my conscience suddenly makes an appearance when I remember my own secrets.

I shove down the rising guilt that appears with it, back into the depths of my gut. I refuse to think of Jason and the photos Gio took. There’s a time and place for everything. With this hurdle successfully solved, I don’t want to ruin the moment. I want to let us have this. I can only deal with so much. One thing at a time. What I have to say can wait, at least for now.

This time when I gulp down the relentless guilt that still tries to appear, it burns as I reply, “Right? I was totally just thinking that!”

We swing back our drinks before releasing loud belts of laughter that seem to gather stares, causing our laughs to choke off into unattractive snorts. The drink soothes the burn, and I completely let go of the guilt-ridden thoughts from before.

At least one thing’s for certain, nothing is more handsome than a laughing Blake.

With the argument behind us, a boyish excitement appears as he shakes out his shoulders. “I can’t wait for you to come with me to that awards show. Finally, things will start to feel right. I don’t want to hide you, but I also don’t want to blast my personal life anywhere.”

I hum, thinking it’s going to be difficult to be private if photographers are at our doorstep.

“I can’t wait to be your date. I’d be lying if I said a red-carpet affair isn’t something I’m giddy about. Blake, what are you doing to me? I was a lowly college student only weeks ago.”

“You were never a just a college student to me. You’re so much more, and you know it.”

My heart thumps fiercely in excitement and fear when my worlds collide, and, reading my thoughts, Blake asks, “So, Gio and school applications, where do we start?”

I watch and follow Blake’s lead as he grabs forkfuls of meat and lays them over the grill, the sweet sauce sizzling immediately and releasing a delicious smell.

I chew my cheek, wondering how much is worth telling Blake. The lines around his eyes are smooth and calm now, and I don’t want to rattle him any more than I need to. I decide in that instant that I don’t want to mention Jason, not at all.

“There isn’t anything else you wanted to say?” I ask, just in case.

His pause matches his misplaced hesitation from before as his eyes flicker to mine, but he shakes his head. “Nope.”

“Okay, where do I start?” There go my nerves again, and I wish this damn table, let alone this grill, wasn’t between us because I could really use his lips right now before I speak. “I’m going to do a
 
Harper’s Bazaar 
photo shoot with Gio.” I bite my lip, realizing that the omission might sting more than I think when Blake’s hand freezes midair. “I mean, I-I don’t know. He asked me to do it. He thought it would be good for me to widen my view of the modeling world under his guidance, and for my portfolio. I think I agree. I-I—”

“It’s okay, Skyler. I think that’s a great idea.” He pauses, chewing on that bottom lip I want so badly before continuing. “You and Gio are getting pretty close, then?”

The corner of my mouth reflexively lifts at the hint of jealousy and curiosity in his tone, and I can feel this conversation already smoothing out.

“Yeah, actually. He’s definitely a friend. He’s helped me figure out a few things, in his annoying Gio way.”

“Do you find him attractive?”

My eyes nearly bulge out of my face at the direct question. “What?”

He lifts a heavy shoulder, watching me carefully, but I see at least a hint of humor in his stare. “I don’t know. If a dude like Gio is spending so much time with my girlfriend, it feels like a fair question.”

“It also feels like a trap.”

He laughs, forking a piece of cooked meat from the grill and lifting it up to my mouth. I smile, not letting my eyes leave his as the fork gets closer.

“Careful, it’s hot,” he says almost seductively, his eyes trained to mine, and I blow on the fork before wrapping my mouth around it. I revel in the flash of heat in his eyes, and the way his tongue swipes over his lips as I chew.

“Delicious.”

He nods and inhales. “I bet.”

“What do you think about this modeling thing, Blake?” I ask, wiping at the corner of my mouth as I try to ignore the pulse forming rapidly between my legs. We have to talk this out first.

“I think you’re a natural. I knew you would be. The Gio thing I need to get used to, but if anyone is a good mentor, it’d be him, hands down. Girls would kill to hold Gio’s attention for more than thirty seconds. Granted, this is where I worry he’s more interested in you than I’d like.” He lifts his eyes from the food. “And I trust you. All I want to make sure of is that it’s something
 
you
 
want. Josh has no idea what you’ve been up to, and I sure as hell haven’t mentioned it. I just have to hope you’re doing this for
 
you
 
and not necessarily for
 
me,
 
or for a pushy Italian guy.”

Blake cares a huge amount. It’s in his tone, and in every syllable of every word, and dammit, I still want to kiss him.

“It’s for me,” I reply crisply, and then this dopey smile takes over.

Blake’s mouth lifts with mine. “What’s that look for?”

I release a breath, my eyes falling to my hand fiddling with the forkful of meat on the grill as I speak. “Because, no matter how close I may get to Gio, or anyone, it’s always easiest talking to you. I’m not scared to tell you what I want; instead I actually want to tell you. Maybe that day at your photo shoot I was tempted to throw a hissy fit at what happened, but now I’m thankful. It’s fun. It makes me feel sorta . . .
free
.”

“I love you,” he blurts out.

I fling my stare up to see Blake devouring me with his gaze, wrapping me up in a warm, effortless blanket of love with just that look before he continues, “I like you free. I like that I might’ve had a hand in something as simple as making you feel that way.”

I move to pour us more sake before the grin I can’t fight embarrasses me anymore. “You make me feel free. You make me better.”

“It works both ways, babe.”

We drink more of the sake, and the warm burn finally feels thrilling instead of awkward as it settles in my veins.

He continues after eating a mouthful of cooked meat. “What about school, Skye? What’s the plan? When Josh mentioned you were stressed out about medical school applications I nearly wanted to punch something because I haven’t been keeping tabs on that, and how it might be stressing you out. We keep talking about this new world of modeling and stuff, but tell me what you’re thinking.”

This is when I finally say what’s on my mind. “I wish I could kiss you right now. I need it.”

He releases his deep chuckle, and a full grin, and it’s glorious. “You don’t even have to ask, babe.”

He drops his fork and napkin, and scoots his way around the curve of the booth, grabbing for my arm, pulling me to him so that we are snug against one another in the confines of the booth, before crashing his lips to mine. I suppress a groan at his taste, his touch, his all-consuming way of capturing me.

I don’t know if the kiss was supposed to be short and sweet, but it becomes so much more as he coaxes my mouth open, twisting his tongue around mine, devouring me like he would this meal, and he’s back to being my elixir.

He pulls away, leaving me breathless.

“I need you,” he says, his tone giving away to a lustful mood shift.

I lift my hand to trail my fingertips over his jaw, loving the fact he hasn’t shaved in a couple days.

I’m about to reply with something sweet, but the burning smell catches his and my attention as we scurry to the grill to move the burning chunks of meat while releasing strings of laughter.

“You’re too distracting,” he mutters as I try to muffle my laughs with my hands.

“Whatever,” I say.

“So, don’t think we aren’t going to talk about school. Josh also said you graduate this semester. I didn’t know that.”

The mood shifts so suddenly in a direction I didn’t expect. “Oh, yeah. I’ve been meaning to mention it. I’ll have a whole semester off at least. I applied for graduation last week, actually.”

He nods, not lifting his stare from the food. “That’ll at least leave room for you to seek out, or explore, other avenues during that semester off, I would think.”

I go wide-eyed as I watch him, but in a good way. “I didn’t think of it that way, but you’re right, I guess it would.”

“Like modeling?” he questions, finally shooting me a supportive smirk.

“Yeah,” I nod, eating a mouthful of charred remains of meat, simply needing something to do as I think.

“Have you heard back from schools, then?”

I nod, unsure of how I want to respond.

“Skye . . .” Blake whines, as if reading the tight
V
that I can feel between my brows. “What’s wrong?”

“Scared.” It’s a one-word answer that doesn’t necessarily make sense, and I try to regroup. “I’ve heard back from four schools, but they were all out of state.”

This time his shoulder droop is more pronounced. “Oh . . . what did they say? You get in?”

“I don’t know. I didn’t want to open them without you, and to be honest, I don’t think I want to leave the state anyway. I haven’t heard back from UCLA or UCSD yet, so there’s still some hope . . . but . . .”

“But what?”

“I don’t know what I want to do with school.”

Blake’s groan isn’t what I expect as I watch him rub his temples. “Your brother is going to kill me.”

I laugh, shaking my head. “He’ll deal. Remember, my brother will get over anything I throw at him. The more pressing issue is what the hell am I doing with myself? You’re right, having a semester off will give me time to figure it out, but at the same time, what’s there to figure out? Let’s say I choose modeling. What if that doesn’t go the way I plan? It’s a risk, and I’ll have no job.”

Blake nods, and he takes on a new air, like I remember him doing when we first met, when he would dissect my commitment issues after getting out of my abusive relationship. His philosophical ideals and hidden wisdom was such a wonderful thing to discover, and helped me through not only my own commitment issues, but his hidden heartbreak. That feels so long ago, but it isn’t. It’s only months. He’s so much smarter than he lets on, if he lets his brain work.

“That isn’t true. You’d have a biology degree under your belt. There’s lots you could do with that, and I’d be happy to be there and help you explore any avenue you want. Go into research, reenroll in school. We’d figure it out. Either way, whatever you choose, we’ll be okay.”

This time it’s my turn to say it as all the tension I had been feeling over the issue leaves my body like a gust of wind. “I love you.” The confirmation that whatever happens, we’re a team, is everything and more.

He winks from across the table. The adorable jerk.

“Then we’ll be okay. I just want to make sure we open them together,” I say.

He nods. “As long as we choose what you want, and not what you think I want, then that sounds perfect.”

“I wish I could hate how charming you are sometimes.”

“Pshh, doubtful. I’d do anything for you, Skye.”

I guess I always knew Blake was serious about me, but there’s a sense of finality to his tone that’s more than his
 
I love you
’s,
 
and I can’t imagine ever being happier.

There’s a screech that sounds through the speakers, causing me to wince through my wonderful moment. The girl that was at the hostess podium earlier speaks softly into the mic, asking if anyone would like to sing, and begs the crowd to not let the mood die with the evening.

Surprising me, Blake squirms in his seat, shimmying his way out.

“Blake, what are you doing?” I ask, gobsmacked with the fear I had when I realized what this place is.