Entangled (3 page)

The DJ, Jeff wanted me to sing at Open Mic night. I decided as much as I wanted to sing as a career, for a real audience, it just wasn’t feasible. Also I felt too much pressure being in the spotlight. With karaoke, it’s not that big a deal because half the audience is drunk anyway so I wouldn’t have to worry about meeting anyone’s expectations. I’m sure my mother wants me to do what makes me happy in life, which I’m getting there. I think.

“Okay, I’m down.” I place my empty cup in the sink and get ready for some kick ass karaoke. I just don’t know what I’m going to wear. I planned on coming home and lounging around in my pajamas all night, watching action flicks. It’s warm to wear a short dress or skirt. I shuffle through my clothes in my closet.

Too bright. Too dark. Not classy enough. Too slutty, that’s Andi’s style. Maybe another night. PERFECT!

I settle on a tight pair of skinny jeans which thankfully my ass fills out just the way I like it. I’m not ashamed to say, I’m proud of my ass. Now my hips, they’re a different story. They make trying on pants an impossible task.  I’m not in the dressy mood tonight. I look through my shirts to find a flattering top that will look sexy and appropriate for the shoes I want to wear. I grab my clothes and make my way to the bathroom for a shower. Once I close the door, I hang the clothes on the towel rack and undress. I shiver as the air hits my body, and goose bumps cover my arms. I quickly turn the faucet on, until it’s the perfect temperature before getting in.  I stand underneath the shower head, letting my skin feel the warmth of the water. The day’s pain fades into my memory and I close my eyes, allowing the stream to hit my face, numbing my senses. I open my eyes and squirt shampoo into my palm and lather it into my hair, scrubbing my scalp until I’m sure I’ve covered every inch, at least a dozen times. I can smell the lavender scent; I smile. My mother’s favorite smell was lavender.

I take the loofa off the hook of the shower wall and squeeze my body wash onto it. The fruity fragrance fills my nostrils as I caress my skin, scrubbing the soap over my entire body clean. Once I’m satisfied and rinsed, I shut off the water, dry myself with the towel and get ready for the tonight.

Chapter 4

Maddy

It’s half past 9 now and there’s a knock at the door. I’m more excited now about going out than I was earlier. I’m ready to shake my ass and have some fun. “I want to sing and dance. We should put in Pour Some Sugar On Me.” I tell Andi. Our hair is done and makeup is perfected.

“Oh I’m so with you on that. We’ll rock the stage girl.” I smile.

Andi opens the door, letting Landon and Derrick enter our domain. They both look nice as usual. They’re both in jeans and nice shirts and their hair is fixed more than usual. The bar is casual so it’s not like we have to dress up every time we go there. Landon has dark blonde hair and brown eyes and the athletic type. Derrick has dark hair and brown eyes and the in-between type. Andi used to date him. Well, they’re still involved but not exclusively. More of the friends-with-benefits bull shit. He’s one of my best friends too. The four of us have stuck together since after high school. Derrick and Landon are total opposites, personality wise. Derrick gets along with everyone and doesn’t like fighting; Landon is the asshole, more like the outspoken one. Sometimes he takes things too far though. But we all care for each other and would do anything for the others.

Landon and I have been “together” for years. Although, we’ve had sex in high school, I ended that with him. I care for Landon, but all he wants is sex. He doesn’t want to commit. And well, I won’t give him sex. But I still stay with him. I’m not sure why I bother or why he bothers. I’m not in love with him and my thing is, I want to wait for that guy who doesn’t know about my past. I feel like Landon only sticks around because he feels sorry for me. I don’t need pity. I just need that
feeling
of being wanted and desired and loved and cherished. And it to be deeper than sex. Until I find that, I won’t sleep with anyone.

“Well, damn, you ladies look hot.” Landon says with a twinkle of mischief in his eye.

“You don’t look so bad yourself.” I wink. He closes the distance between us and nuzzles my neck. He smells of peach.

“Okay, enough standing around, we’ve got some drinking to be drank and songs to be sung. Time to roll.” I can see in Landon’s eyes he has other things in mind. Yeah, time to go.

We pile into the Porsche and cruise to our destination.

Midnight Bar is an establishment Bill and Peggy Stone fixed up several years ago. It used to be a grocery store but was transformed into a simple bar with midnight blue wall paper, tiled floors, a stage and full length pool tables. Luckily it’s a No Smoking bar and not one where you simply can’t breathe when you walk through the door.

We pull up to the busy parking lot, bodies scurrying out of their cars, in and out of the bar. Karaoke starts around nine-thirty. “I’ll go get us a table.” Derrick says when we enter. I recognize some faces here and there. Living in a small town, you tend to run into someone you know.

“I’m going to talk to the Stones.” Landon walks away. Loud music is blaring over the speakers.

‘Want a drink?”

“Who’s he talking to?” Andi looks annoyed, I turn to see who she’s glaring at. Derrick is talking up a petite blonde in a black dress, that barely holds her boobs in place. Man, some women have no self-respect.

“God, what a slut!” I blurt out.

“Should I have worn something more revealing?” Andi looks down at her dress and turns her ass in my direction. I scoff in disbelief.

“As if. That chick clearly forget her brain somewhere. Don’t demean yourself. You look hot. And classy. She has no class.” She frowns. I bump her shoulder with mine. “Andi, stop it. Let’s get a drink and then we can dance.” She follows me to the bar. “Hey Joe.”

“What’ll it be tonight ladies?” I purse my lips together, glancing at her. But she just shrugs. “Okay, we’ll have a shot of Jager.”

“Ewww, no I want a beer.” I shake my head telling Joe to get us shots.

“Hell no, not tonight Bestie. We’re going to live wildly. No beer. Beer is boring.” Joe passes our shots and I take them gratefully and hand Andi hers. She looks at it suspiciously, glaring at me. “You wanted us to have fun so that’s what we’re doing dammit. Come on, drink up.” I salute my glass and slug it back quickly. The liquid contents flow down my throat, burning but I ignore it.

I slam the glass down forcefully, ready for another. “Okay, you need to slow down Maddy. We’ve got all night.” She snaps her fingers at Joe to get his attention. “Can we have water?”

Andi being the voice of reason for once. I think it’s more about keeping her car clean. I grab her arm, tired of standing around. We get on the dance floor, abandoning our drinks. I shake my hips as my arms flail about. Finally Andi loosens up and gets into the rhythm too. People are brushing up against each other. Red Red Wine plays, everyone moves their bodies, laughing. I drink water in-between my alcohol. Andi excuses herself to the ladies’ room. I approach the bar for another drink. As I’m heading back to the table, I’m pulled aside. “Hey, can we talk?” Derrick asks. I look around for the no-class hooch.

“Where’s the blonde?”

“I don’t know. Did Andi see us talking?”

“Were you trying to make her jealous?” He looks away, guilty. I feel bad for putting him on the spot. It’s not like they’re dating. He has a right to talk to whoever he wants. “Look, I don’t care what you were doing. Just quit playing games with her.”

“I’m not. We were just talking. Andi and I are…well you know. We’re nothing anymore. I’m entitled to talk to who I want, same goes for her. But if anyone is playing games, it’s her. I wanted to commit, she doesn’t so whatever.”

“Okay, chill. I was just making a comment. I don’t want to see my best friend hurt is all. And that means you too. But I get it, she’s not innocent either.” Andi approaches us, as we’re about to get back on the dance floor, I spot her parents. “Look who showed up.” Andi follows my gaze and then swears under her breath.  “Okay, this is awkward.”

“At least they waited until you were out of the house to show up to your hang out spot.” I offer but it doesn’t help. Her parents are really cool. They pretty much raised me after the accident that claimed my mother. And my father, I suppose. Maybe if I was in her shoes, I’d see the problem in hanging out with them at a bar. Don’t all parents wanna be cool like their kids?

“I’ll be right back.” She tries to stop me but misses my arm.

“Can I have this dance, Mr Harper?” I ask, casually. He blinks in surprise. Melanie hugs me. “Well, this is a surprise, being at the same hang out.” She laughs.

I chuckle. “It’s not like there’s that many options in this town.” We all laugh. You can always go to the next town but that’s like a twenty minute drive and after a few drinks, it’s not really wise. I look at Jim, waiting. “Well, are you gonna leave a lady hanging? Or do I need to beg?” He chuckles and rises from his seat.

“Oh Jim, go dance with your adopted daughter.” Melanie says, giving me a wink. We get out on the dance floor. Eric Clapton’s “Wonderful Tonight” fills the bar. I smile. I love that song, really emotional. It’s the kind of song a daughter would dance with her father at the school dances in middle school. I wonder what that’s like. Sadness fills my chest as I think of my own father. I miss him. I wish he would talk to me. After everything that’s happened, he shouldn’t have to deal with it alone.

“You’re quiet.” Jim breaks through the silence, and my thoughts.

“I’m just reflecting. This song kinda does that to me.” I discreetly swipe at a tear trying to escape from my eye.

“How are you Maddy?”

“Just working and living, you know, the usual.” I force a smile to reassure him I’m fine. Even though, I’m far from fine. I may never be fine no matter how many times I tell myself I am. But what can I do? I can’t sulk or sit around feeling sorry for myself. It’s pointless.

“I feel like we don’t get a chance to talk much these days.” Part of it is my fault. Ever since I moved out of their house, I made sure I stayed busy. I had no choice. I had to live and move forward and put the past behind me. My eyes find Landon sitting with Derrick and a disgruntled Andi. Is she mad at me? Derrick? Ugh, the drama is enough to make my head spin.

“Sorry, I should visit more often.”

“Maddy, you need to talk to your father.”

“I’ve tried, he’s not well.” He needs help but he refuses. But then again, I need it too. “I had to put a dog down today. It was so sad. I’ve known her since she was a pup. She was sick. It sucks. I hate death.” I spat bitterly.

“I’m sorry, sweetie. That’s never easy. Life is full of death which is hard to face. But that’s life. You have to just grin and bear it.” I’d rather run and hide. “Call me if you need anything.” He says when the song ends. I nod. “And tell my daughter to quit pouting.”

Chapter 5

Noah

We mess around on the couch; I’m not really into it. I’m tired and dreading my long trip in the morning. She’s in my lap, kissing my neck and her hands travel downward to my zipper. My hand grips hers to stop what’s coming. Normally, it’s not an issue. Normally I’ll have my way with her and I’ll be satisfied and she’ll be happy and all will be well with the world. But tonight, I’m not in the mood.

“What’s wrong?” She sounds hurt. She hates being turned down and sure, it sucks. But I don’t care. I’m leaving and the last thing I need is her clinging to me like a damn child. She needs to grow up.

“I’m sorry, but I’ve got some shit on my mind. I can’t concentrate on getting off right now.” She pouts and I fight the urge to bite her lip. Hard. But knowing her, she’d probably get aroused and excited. Better to get out of the situation while I can. I move out from underneath her and pace her living room. “Look, I’m leaving. Tomorrow. And right now, I’ve got too much to do. I just came here to tell you.” I’m not sure why I feel obligated to tell her shit, she doesn’t own me. The look on her face irritates me.

“Why are you leaving?”

“Because, there’s too much of my past here that I need to bury and I can’t do that when I’m constantly reminded of everything that’s happened in my life. I’m starting over, in a new place.” I’ve never told her about my past and the nightmares that haunt me to this day. I’ve never told anyone. Only Spencer and my mother know about it and what it’s done to me. Oh yeah, and my aunt. She’s the reason I’m moving. I’ll be staying with her for a short time before I look for my own place. I’m a little nervous and uncomfortable about the situation, though my aunt is a better version of my mother. Maybe she’ll give me advice I could use to move on.

“Well, that’s a slap in the face. So were you ever going to include me or ask me to come along?” My mouth drops open, I’m baffled. Is this bitch crazy?

“Um, I didn’t know we were taking that step. No one clued me in.” Her eyes narrow and mine do the same. “Kasey, you knew…knew we were not exclusive. I told you in the beginning, I. Don’t. Do. Relationships.” I enunciate each word as if she’s a five year old and needs to be scolded. She’s freakin’ twenty-four, not twelve.

She places her hands on her hips, angry and I want to laugh at her. Yeah, I’m an ass I know. But it’s hard to keep a straight face when people act so childish. It’s better to laugh than to scream, which is what I really want to do. “Noah, I want to come with you. Maybe then, you’d change your mind about me.” I shake my head and move to the door, she blocks me. Holy. Shit.