Entangled (11 page)

“Why are you so against him? I like being around him, Andi. I can’t help it. There’s just something about him that appeals to me and I want to figure it out.” Hopefully it’s not too late.

“Well, be careful. He’s really the heartbreaking type.” God, she treats me as if I’m a child. I have to make my own mistakes; I have to fall in order to get back up. Her parents were always sheltering her from harm but that’s no life to live. Gotta get hurt in order to know what it’s like to heal. Not that this is in anyway a romantic notion. This is just advice for me. I nod and leave the apartment.

On the walk, ideas run through my head what to say, why I’ve been so distant. But I decide to leave that alone, unless he flat out asks. He probably hadn’t even noticed my absence in the midst of moving in and such. Derrick told me they went shopping for furniture, which made me laugh because I can’t help but wonder what happened to his bean bag chair idea. I walk down the sidewalk, through the trees and walking trail. I slow my pace when I round the corner right by his apartment. I can feel my nerves rattling inside my body. I haven’t been this nervous because of a guy in…well I don’t remember when. Why does it happen with Noah? What’s so special about him? I wipe my sweaty palms on my shorts and stand before apartment 129. I take a deep breath before knocking, really quietly at first. What a stupid idea this is. He may not even want to see me. I do a turnaround once, look around and knock again, harder.

After a few minutes of nothing, I almost walk away but then the door swings open and Noah is standing in the doorway, dressed in his boxer shorts. It takes me a minute to find my voice and look up from his chest muscles to his face. I may have been drooling, just a little.  “Hi.” I try to smile. He looks surprised to see me but after a second, he finally smiles and it lights his eyes.

“Hi.” We both stand there, awkwardly. He finally opens the door to allow me inside. As I walk in, I notice how much more welcoming his apartment is than the first time I was here. Boxes are still stacked in the corner of the room next to the entertainment center. I see all the furnishings and then I chuckle when I spot the bean bag chair. I guess he still got one after all. “Sorry, this was a surprise. I’m not dressed for company.” I briefly meet his gaze. “Let me go get dressed.”

“It’s okay; I kind of just dropped by. I had plans, they fell through so I thought I’d come say hi.”

“Huh.” He walks to the kitchen.

“What?” I noticed his annoyance.

“Do you want something to drink?” I shake my head.

“Are you ever going to unpack?” I ask, half-jokingly. He presses his lips together, unsure how to respond. I stand there feeling like an idiot. “I see you got your bean bag chair.”

“Yeah, I decided to just get the furniture after all.” He grabs a glass and pours some juice. “Are you sure you don’t want anything?”

“No thanks.” I sit down on the couch, uncomprehending his personality. He has no pictures on the walls; I can’t figure this guy out. He’s so secretive. I know there’s more to him than he wants us to know. I for one can understand his need to keep to himself. After my mom died, well I was seven, but when I hit my teens, I went through a phase where I just wanted to keep to myself too. We all go through a time like that in our lives, so I understand. But whether he wants to admit it or not, he needs a friend. You can’t go through life alone, it would suck.

“So what’ve you been up to?” He asks but then, he looks down at himself remembering he’s still half-dressed. “Um, hold that thought. I need to get some clothes on real quick.” I stifle a grin and lean against the couch when he leaves the room. It doesn’t take him long to come back out, fully dressed in black shorts and a white t-shirt, which stands out against his tanned skin. He shuts his door and moves to the couch to sit down. “Okay, so what’s up? What brings you here after not coming around for the last, what, few weeks?”

“I see, so you’ve noticed that I haven’t been around, have you?” It gives me hope that he might actually find me fun to be around. I hide my enthusiasm but it doesn’t stop the nerves shooting through my veins.

“Um, yes? I thought friends usually, casually hang out once in a while. You were so intent on being friends but never acted like it.”

I’m half-listening when I get an idea and blurt, “I have a question and it might sound weird.”

“I like weird, shoot.” He grins, taking a sip of his drink, looking at me, making me nervous.

“Do you want to get some paint and paint the walls and have a painting party?” He looks at me, removing the glass from his lips.

“Wow, I was not sure what to expect when you said weird but that was not it.” I feel my cheeks heat up in embarrassment and turn away from his scrutiny. “But I totally like your idea of weird. Let’s do it.”

“Really?” I turn back and catch his smirk, in which my cheeks flame for a completely different reason.

He stands up and stretches, before taking his glass to the sink. “So, what room are you suggesting needs a paint job?”

“Living room. Maybe we’ll try another room next time.” He slips into his flip flops and grabs his car keys.

“Are we allowed to do that?” He asks when we reach the door. “Paint the walls and change the carpet?”

We step outside and he locks the door. “I don’t know about changing the carpet but I’m pretty sure you can paint the walls. I think.” I laugh because I’m actually not sure. Andi and I used to have painting parties all the time but that was when we were at her parent’s house. We haven’t done that since we moved into our apartment.

“Oh, damn hold on. I need a hat; my hair’s a rat’s nest.” He goes back inside and comes out with a Journey’s hat on. “You ready?”

We get to his jeep parked close by and before I can open my door, he’s there opening it for me. I gape at him for a minute, not used to chivalrous gestures. I’ve never had guys open doors for me, but it’s something I could get used to, I think.

I mumble a thanks and climb into the seat before he gently shuts the door. I can smell his manly cologne scent and breathe it in. I place my purse in my lap and run my fingers through my hair and hear Noah open his door. “So, I have a question.”

“I may have an answer.” He smiles at my reply. I lean my head back on the headrest and turn my head to look at him.

“So what brought this on, the painting idea?”

“It was something Andi and I used to do. We painted her room a lot back in the day. It was fun.”

“Yeah, and so rebellious.” He comments. I agree and we go on about me and work and Landon, which isn’t his favorite topic. “By the way, Landon doesn’t deserve you.” I wasn’t expecting that comment, but I just smile and stay quiet. What does he want me to say?

Noah

I wasn’t expecting to see Maddy, at least not for a while. So when she showed up at my door, I was stunned. I was planning to have a low-key night, just lounging on my couch in my boxers. But here I am in my jeep, with her, getting paint. First of all, I was completely thrown by her idea to paint my walls. I mean, in a way, it’s pretty cool. I’ve never painted a room with anyone. Is this what friends do? Spencer and I never had a painting party, not that we would. We didn’t care about shit like this. Maddy is proving to be more intriguing the more I get to know her.

Of course I didn’t hold back my opinion of Landon when his name was mentioned. I don’t like him too much but really, Maddy is too good for him. She’s too good for someone like me too. I notice how quiet she is and I glance at her, looking out the window. “Hey.” She meets my gaze and I suddenly forget what I wanted to say. “Nevermind.” Shit, I’m an idiot.

“Landon and me, we’re not really an item. It’s really complicated. No wait, it’s really simple. He just wants sex and I want more. We’ve known each other since middle school and have been really close. We had sex in high school and dated and whatever. But after high school, I decided I didn’t want to settle for sex. I wanted something real and deep. But he seems to think I’ll give in. I won’t. I’m not in love with him.”

Trying to soak in all of her words and meaning, I find it overwhelming to respond. What do you say to that? What are the right words? Obviously she believes in love or the illusion of it. Who knows if it’s really real, unless you’ve experienced it? “He acts like you’re his.”

“That’s because he wants me to be with him. No matter how many times I tell him to go find another, he doesn’t. Maybe he does, I just don’t know. Which is fine.” I wouldn’t doubt if he did and just came back to her. That’s pretty fucked up. She doesn’t deserve that. He really is an asshole. I’m mean, I’m not a saint but I’m working on that. She frowns and turns back to the window. I have the sudden urge to reach out and comfort her. It’s a feeling I haven’t really experienced before. This girl is doing something unfamiliar to me and I can’t tell if it’s a good or bad thing. I’ve never cared about a girl before, Lex aside, she was my best friend. This feels different. And it’s fucking scary.

We pull up to Home Depot. I get out and reach her side to open her door. That’s another thing I’m not used to. I never open a fucking door for girls. They’re old enough to do that shit themselves. Still, it feels good to do it. Especially when I get a smile in gratitude. I feel like I’m doing something right. I can tell Maddy hasn’t had a door opened for her either, which to me is strange. She should have had many doors opened for her.

“Hi, welcome to Home Depot. Can I help you find anything?” An employee approaches us when we walk inside. Before I can say anything, Maddy speaks. “We’re looking for paint.” She glances at me and grins as the employee walks us to the right aisle.

“Let me know if you need any other help. I’m Josh.” And he walks away. I watch her as she’s concentrating on the paint and the colors. Her nose crinkles and her eyes narrow as she inspects the colors. “So what colors do you like?” She breaks my trance. I look at her and swallow before speaking like an idiot.

“I like greens, blues, and yellows.” Grays to match her eyes.

“Um, no yellow. That’s an ugly color for a wall.” Her dark hair cascades over her slender shoulder and a piece of her bangs falls into her face. My hand itches to move it, to see what her hair feels like between my fingers. I quickly shake my head, hoping my brain falls out in the process. I bend down to inspect the colors. “I like greens and blues. Oh yeah and light browns.” She smiles, which reaches her eyes.

“I think a light brown would be a perfect color for the living room.” She shows me the beige color and I nod in agreement. Her shoulder is close to mine that if I leaned to my left, our shoulders would brush against each other. Her fruity scent catches in my nose and I almost sneeze. When I finally pick a color, I stand up and stretch my legs feeling a little stiff. Also, I need to get some distance. This is a bit too much for me. In changing, one must use his head and not the other part of him that is screaming right now. It’s hard to remember which head to use when it comes to women, considering I only ever used one for most of my life.

I pay for the paint and we head back to the apartment. “Are you hungry?” I ask, keeping my eyes on the road.

“Sure.” Her voice alone does strange things to me. I’d never thought about how voices sound in my ears but hers is enchanting, soothing, lulling. I could hear her talk all day. Oh. My. God. I need to think of something else. She’s my friend, that’s all she can be.

I pull up to Sonic and park the car, blankly staring at the menu. “Do you know what you want?” She reaches over me to gaze at the menu and choose her order.

“Umm, well…” She talks to herself deciding between a burger or chicken or salad and finally, “Just get me a corn dog, fries and a soda. Please.” I let out a breath of air as soon as she moves away, out of my personal space.

I push the button and a male voice greets us. “Welcome to Sonic, may I take your order?”

“Hi, I’d like a corn dog, fries and a coke please.”

“Do you want the combo?”

“Yeah, that’s fine. I also want a number one with a cherry limeade. That’s it.”

“Do you want cheese?”

“Yes, please.” He gives me the total and I roll my window up. We sit in awkward silence, waiting for our food. I see Maddy pulling her money out and I almost protest but think better of it. Guys pay for girls when they’re on dates. This is not a date, nor will it ever be so it’s best to pay for our own shit. Yeah, I may be a dick which is why her and I are a no go. Not that there were any possibility of that happening. But still.

When a tap at my window startles me, Maddy laughs. I turn back to the guy with red hair and roll my window down. “That’ll be…” He starts to say but I interrupt him and throw my money at him. Maddy hands me her money which I keep since I paid with a twenty. He gives me my change and our food. I mumble a “thanks” and close the window. I give Maddy her food but find her staring at me, assessing me I’d guess.

“What?”

She bites her bottom lip before shaking her head. She gratefully takes her corn dog and unwraps it. “You’re really not a people person.”

“Not really.” I take a sip of my drink, studying her. She thinks I’m an asshole. I can see by her posture and expression.

“I can tell.”

“Sorry, I haven’t slept much these days.” We eat in silence. I can’t help but wonder what she’s thinking. Maybe she’ll stay away from me if I act like a douche. If she sees me as I really am, she won’t want me around. I’m so confused. Fuck.