Her friend swatted at her leg hard enough to leave a red welt on her calf. “Shut up, Shayla. There’s nothing wrong with your body. You just needed a little guidance.”
Shayla pulled her knee to her chest and rubbed the growing welt under the hem of her crop pants. “Abusive much? Geez.”
“Suck it up. You needed a reality check. I could talk until I’m blue in the face, but you’re so determined to see these flaws in yourself no one else does. It doesn’t make sense. Why punish yourself like this?”
Shaking her head, Shayla couldn’t bring herself to explain it to Kelly. Snippets of the nightmare she’d had three times in the last week flashed through her head. The whole ordeal with Cyrus happened before she went to work at the PR firm. She fought hard not to bring the darkest part of her life with her. The new job, new house, new everything had been her attempt to wash Cyrus out of her life. It worked for a while. Until Deryck’s strange attempts to ask her out on a date triggered memories she’d buried.
A red and blue kite swooped into the stretch of sky she’d been staring at absently. Shayla watched its mesmerizing dance in the wind and smiled at the child manning the kite’s string when he laughed without a care in the world. How she wished she could be so free.
The kite jerked violently to the left. Panicked, he released the string and the kite slammed into a tree. Branches pierced the bright red half of the kite. The boy ran off sobbing.
“That’s life,” Shayla whispered.
“What was that?” Kelly’s eyebrows arched over the frame of her sunglasses.
“Nothing. Thinking too much.”
Kelly sat up on the blanket, legs stretched out in front of her. “Be honest, are you ready for tomorrow?”
“If by ready you mean on the verge of wetting myself if someone so much as mentions his name or the date? Oh yeah, I’m totally ready for tomorrow night.” Shayla grabbed the bench to steady herself. “Why is the world all wobbly?”
“Because you’re hyperventilating. Calm down, Shayla. Take a couple deep breaths. Everything will be okay.”
She shook her head. “I can’t. I haven’t gone out on a date with a guy since . . . never mind.”
“Since when?” Kelly crawled over and climbed onto the bench beside her. “What’s going on?”
“Ancient history.” Shayla offered a weak smile. “It isn’t worth the emotional baggage.”
Bells chimed softly to their left. Kelly leaned forward to look around her. “Just what you need.” She bounced off of the bench and grabbed Shayla’s hand. “Come on.”
“Where are we going?” Reluctantly, she let Kelly pull her to her feet.
“Ice cream stand at nine o’clock. Don’t look, the Rocky Road might catch our scent and run off.”
Shayla couldn’t help but laugh at her friend. They walked across the grass to the small ice cream cart stationed beside the entrance to the zoo. Families crowded around, taking advantage of the chance to cool off after playing in the sun. They stayed at the back of the group, letting all the kids grab what they wanted first before finally stepping up to the cart. Shayla ordered a double scoop of mint chip. Kelly ordered orange cream, with a cherry. Somehow the cost of the ice cream dropped two dollars when Kelly plucked the cherry off the top of her ice cream and ate it.
Men.
Laughing, Kelly paid for their snack. Shayla picked up the cups and they walked back to the bench. Kelly sat on her blanket again, twirling the cherry stem between her teeth.
“I can’t believe you flirted to save money on ice cream.”
The cherry stem flew Shayla’s direction and bounced off of her breast. “I didn’t flirt. He only thought I was. I would have used a lot more tongue action if I were flirting.”
Shayla rolled her eyes and threw the cherry stem into the trashcan beside the bench. “I don’t know how you do it so easily.”
Kelly shrugged and crossed her legs. She looked like a kid at school waiting for the teacher to read a book before recess. “Nothing I do is intentional. Guys like what they like. I have breasts. They’re going to stare and think I’m flirting.”
“That isn’t exactly encouraging.” Shayla dug into her ice cream, hoping it’d salvage her mood a little. So far the only positive thing that’d happened was locating a dress she could stand to be seen in public wearing. Since then, all she’d done was second-guess her decision to follow Faye’s heavy-handed advice and agree to the date with Deryck.
“Fine, we’ll talk about something else.” Kelly’s spoon waved in the air as she spoke. “How’s your mother doing?”
Oh yeah, like that subject is any better.
Shayla smiled sadly and swirled the melting ice cream around in the cardboard cup. “She’s okay. She finally settled into the nursing home after they let her bring Petey.” The parrot went everywhere with her mother and was practically Shayla’s brother.
“That bird.” Kelly laughed. “Has he learned to say anything other than slogans from infomercials?”
“I wish. Last time I called to check in, he was toting the effectiveness of some steam cleaner.”
“Have you been out to see her?”
She shook her head. “It’s too hard. One day I walk in and she remembers everything, down to the color of ribbons she put in my hair on the first day of school. The rest of the time I’m a complete stranger to her. On those days she doesn’t trust me to be in her room alone with her. She won’t let me help. Seeing her like that . . . I can’t believe I have to go through it again.”
Kelly patted her knee. “I’m sorry, Shayla. I suck at cheering you up today.”
“It’s okay.”
Shayla was the first person to understand almost every aspect of her existence was screwed up. She couldn’t even tell people about her life prior to five years before. The shame of the relationship she’d been in, paired with the soul-draining task of caring for her father at the end of his life . . . nothing she’d done in her past made for pleasant conversation. Unfortunately, more and more of the bad leaked back into her life. Her mother’s dementia was diagnosed six months ago and since then, she’d been on a downhill slide, landing her in a nursing home.
If Cyrus found a way to come back from the dead to make her life miserable all over again, Shayla knew she wouldn’t survive it.
She looked down in the completely melted cup of ice cream and sighed. Shayla pitched the cup into the trash.
“I’ve got to get going.” Kelly stood and grabbed her blanket. “Will you be okay?”
Shayla tried for a reassuring smile. “I’ll be fine. See you Monday.”
Kelly hugged her tight. “Good luck tomorrow.”
“I’m going to need more than that to keep from passing out if he actually shows up.”
“He will. Don’t worry.”
They hugged each other again and walked in opposite directions to the cars. Shayla slid behind the wheel and dropped her head against the headrest. The afternoon out with Kelly had been a decent attempt to keep her mind off everything, but it didn’t help.
The car’s engine kicked over. Shayla drove out of the park. At the stop sign, she sat, debating if she should go left, toward her house, or right. She flipped on the turn signal. When traffic cleared, she turned right.
Maybe there was a movie playing that’d pull her from reality for a couple hours.
It was official; human beings were far, far stranger than the gods.
Gods, no matter their pantheon, were prone to unbelievable cruelty, petty jealousy, sudden bursts of anger, and retribution. And one could not forget the rampant incest going on in the God’s Lands during the height of each pantheon’s power—some of which continued on to this day and age. They may not possess the power they once did from their vast amount of followers, but it did not stop them from feeling entitled to be complete pricks, weirdos, and spoiled brats.
Deryck looked around the small restaurant he’d been sitting in for the last two hours. No matter how much he hated the gods, at least they weren’t as flat-out weird as the humans he’d encountered thus far on his mission to learn the dating rules necessary to win Shayla’s favor.
He’d found the place by simply asking people on the street where they’d take someone on a first date. To be honest, the restaurant wasn’t bad. The food was delicious, moderately priced. The wait staff traversed the busy room like ducks floating through reeds on a riverbank, and each of them smiled despite what was said to them.
It was the couples Deryck came to watch who made him regret his decision to schedule his date with Shayla for the next day. He had a feeling he’d need at least two weeks of studying to figure out anything useful, given the slice of humanity surrounding him.
In the booth across the narrow aisle from his, a couple sat, their heads bowed toward each other. To a casual observer, it looked as though they were sharing sweet comments over a fine dinner. Deryck wasn’t a casual observer. His exceptional hearing picked up every single piece of the vehement conversation the couple hissed back and forth.
“Purple. Panties. No, they weren’t even regular panties. It was a thong, Steve. How the hell do you explain a purple thong magically ending up on the floor in our closet? You know I don’t wear the God damned things.”
The man rubbed the back of his neck and cast a glance around to make sure their waiter didn’t approach. “Maybe they got stuck in your dry cleaning, Teresa.”
“Don’t try to make this my fault that you can’t keep it in your pants and our bed. Who is she?”
“I’m not sleeping with anyone else.”
The woman stood, “You’re not sleeping with anyone at all, then.”
He grabbed her wrist and gently tugged her back into her seat. “God damn it, Teresa. God damn it. They’re mine. I’ve been doing shows down at Logan’s for weeks now.”
“Why are you going to a gay bar?” Deryck could damn near see the cogs fall into place within the woman’s mind. “Oh my God, you’ve been doing
drag
shows this whole time?”
Shame colored the man’s cheeks. Deryck felt bad for him. It was obviously something he enjoyed doing, but knew his wife would not approve of. Was this what relationships were destined to be? Sacrificing wants and desires to keep peace in one’s home?
Pure, cold dread crept down his spine. He had a hell of a secret hiding in his closet, and it wasn’t a purple thong.
A pleasured sigh pricked Deryck’s attention. He slid a glance left toward the couple sitting in the booth beside his. The young man and his female companion shared the same bench at the table. They sat so close together, it was difficult to see where one ended and the other began.
The girl’s cheeks flushed pink under her makeup. She bit her bottom lip and scooted away from her date. “Not here, Greg.”
The man closed the distance. His arm slid under the table and she gasped again. “I’m just keeping you ready for dessert.”
“Someone will see us.”