Enslaved in Shadows (36 page)

             
He rocked forward, brought her hips up off the carpet with the force of his
body,
and fucked her in earnest.
She couldn’t hold on so she braced her legs under her thighs holding herself open to his thrusts.
The carpet burned. She could feel her tailbone bump the floor beneath the carpet, denting the pad beneath.
The baser animal that was Draven’s counterpart was pulsing underneath his skin. She could see it in the way his muscles bulged. His eyes were wolf-like now. A penetrating green bathed in gold.
She pushed her fingers into his hair and latched on, the pit of her stomach expanding, trying to accommodate the need that built inside. Taking her to another level she hadn’t known existed. An abysmal pit of lust, never ending lust, broke the strongest of her walls.
Right when she thought she was going over the edge, he took one of her legs and bit down on the inside of her calf. Jes’s throat would never be the same. The scream erupted with such force she almost choked. Him and his biting was going to get her killed.
And it wouldn’t be a little death either, it’d be huge. Colossal!

             
“Fuck!”

             
The pressure of his teeth and the sharp tip of his canines sent her crashing over the edge free falling out of the sky into the depths of her orgasm. Her throat was raw, gutted, torn to pieces. She screamed until she couldn’t scream anymore. Her body tried to relax and couldn’t, she was strung so tight she vibrated, shattered over and over as mini-orgasms rocked her more.
Draven pushed her legs down into the crook of his arms and bent his body forward grinding his hips, putting more pressure on her clit.
He took her over the edge again before her first orgasm even had a chance to ebb.
He threw her out into the universe, brought her back to earth, only to tilt the very axis of her existence. She was given, ruined and she knew it. How much longer could she run from him?

             
Jesminda tugged him down for a kiss before the tears could leak from her eyes. She savored the feel of their lips, their tongues sliding against each other. She could hear the blood pounding between her ears. The waves of her orgasm spread from the center of her stomach out to touch the edges of her being. His strokes became bruising as he continued to pound into her. She opened her eyes could see the muscles in his neck bulge. Draven broke the kiss and dropped his head into the crook of her neck.
He bit down hard and she felt him swell inside to a pain-pleasure fullness as his cock pulsed his release.

             
The walls of her pussy clamped down and Draven let out a ragged moan of pleasure as he slowed his thrusts. One, two, three, short jabs and his movement stopped.
His big warm body collapsed on hers. He hugged her close to his chest, their hearts rapidly beating as one.

             
If she took the chance to see where this led them, would the outcome still be the same as it was with Marcus?
Stop punishing yourself, and him.
They both deserved a chance, right?

             
Sighing deeply she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed his cheek.

             
“Okay.” She whispered.
Small baby steps. Really tiny ones.
             
             

             
“Just okay?” Came his muffled voice.

             
She giggled, men and their egos.

             
“More than okay, I mean, I was just saying okay.”

             
Draven lifted his head to stare down at her lifting a brow in question.
             

             
“Don’t read minds last time I checked.” He sniffed the air trying to sort out her emotions, but when he didn’t say anything, and stared. It made her uncomfortable. She pushed back on his shoulders and scooted back from their joined hips to displace them.
             
They both hissed at the separation and loss of warmth.

             
“You’re not making this any easier for me you know?” Jesminda said.
             

             
“I can smell your resolve, but again, I’m no mind reader, what have you decided?”
He sat up crossing his arms over his chest. All that muscle, hell all that man. He would drive her to distraction for the rest of her days.

             
“Men are daft!”

             
“No, I am not mind reader.” Draven said softly. He reached forward pulling her into his lap, they were sticky from their
lovemaking,
and he didn’t seem to care.
Love making?
That was some intense love making, more like love crashing.

             
“Tell me what you’re okay with. I know it’s not my love making skills. I’m a beast in bed.” He grinned and she punched him in the stomach. Draven grabbed both her hands and brought them to his mouth to kiss. He looked down at her from underneath his lashes and pinned her with a stare. He wanted the answer to the
million-dollar
question. What was she okay with? Them? Not completely but she’d try.

             
“I’m saying that yes, okay, everything will work itself out in the end.
I’m saying that I want to try this thing between us out, see where it takes us.”
She wasn’t about to lay her heart out for him to see, not yet.

             
“Ah, I see,” his voice dark, filled with hunger.
He kissed the top of her head and turned her in his arms for hug.

             
“Just so we’re clear. This is going to take time. I’m not saying we’re together now. Or that it will end up that way. I’m agreeing things will work themselves out. I can’t make you any promises.” She continued.

             
“I love you Jesminda.”

             
Shit! He fucking said the words. Jes waited for the fear and panic to set in. Nothing. She was still in his arms; she’d flinched a little but... No, there it was. Waiting to strike her speechless.
Jes’s body tensed and small shoots of pain radiated from the center of her body attacking her nerves. Things happened so fast, tested her limits. She didn’t get the chance to stop and take a break, or smell the roses for that matter.
Men and their not so subtle ultimatums. He had the finesse of a damn
rattlesnake
.
His mouth was quick and his words always got straight to the point.
What did he want?
Was he really expecting her to just lay it all out on the table?
You need to say the words.
She knew she needed to say them, wanted to, but they got stuck in her throat, burned. Inside her body threatened to explode.

             
So many crossroads, too many, and him at the apex of most, if not all of them.

             
“This thing tests us baby, I tried to stop the fire from spreading.”
Draven’s chest rose and fell as he took a deep breath and she watched in horror as words she wanted to say, needed to say, wouldn’t surface.
Still he held her, even though she’d flinched. Her body rejected the words.
             
What the hell is wrong with you? Speak up, say it before he leaves.

             
“I tried to stop the fire from spreading,” he said again her hands in his. “Distance and time and so many choices were left to make, but in the end,” he hesitated. “In the end it will always be you. There will never come a time when the choice will be different Jes. Never.”

             
So much conviction and feeling in those words.
Her insides melted and her entire body was impetuous and ready for round two.
Still she faltered.
Say the words.
Jes cleared her throat, and Draven stared down at her, cradled her in his lap.

             
“The fire is here Jes.” He placed her hand over his heart.

             
“It burns for you, for Faith, and for our bed.”

             
Why couldn’t she say the fucking words!
Coward.

             
“Are you going to say anything, anything at all?”
His voice shook. She was hurting him, by not saying the words he wanted to hear. She saw it in his eyes.

             
She watched his throat work as he swallowed and his jaw tightened in irritation. How many times was she going to leave this man hanging?
Just say the fucking words!
Her mind screamed at her, but her voice was trapped, beating down the walls of her throat trying to break free. Each pounding her throat took as the words tried to escape, her heart would thrash harder.
She was killing herself from the inside out, and still couldn’t even whisper the words she knew he wanted to hear.

“I… it’s really,” she staggered the words even as she berated herself for not saying them. Tears began to fall heatedly down her cheeks and her body shook from the sobs she tried to hold in.

             
Draven tugged her into his chest.
Wrapped both hands into her hair and tugged down, forcing her to look up at him.
She didn’t know what she saw on his face, pain, disappointment, or betrayal.
All those terms were correct in her case and deep down she knew she loved this man on a visceral level.
Just like he’d tried to stop, she’d tried to block the storm of emotions that continuously battered her heart over and over trying to break in.

             
Once she’d let the flood gates open, so much raw sensation had put her into constant overload just being near him.
Her body and sentience were attuned to him in all ways.
He had to know she loved him, had to! Deep down she knew he did, but a man needed to hear the words just as much a woman did.

             
She lived to love him, beyond her past and after her future.
Draven and Faith were her world. Telling him she didn’t have room for him was a bold face lie.
How in the hell had she managed to screw this shit up?

             
“I gotta go baby, but when I get back, we will talk.” He sighed into her hair and his body slowly died of the anger he was holding back.
She shook her head into his chest and sniffled a few times. The conversation wasn’t over, but he needed to leave. There was only minutes left before he had to meet up with the rest of the team.

             
“Can I go back to your parent’s?” Jes rubbed her hands on her legs wrapped her arms around herself, his warmth was gone. He’d stood and sat her to the side. Not discarded, but there was definitely distance between them now. His patience was wearing thin.
She was a stupid cow for not telling this man she loved him with everything her heart had to give.
She even had a reserve back up marked special for him. In the deep dark corner of her soul, a soul Draven had opened and shed light on.

             
“Of course baby, I’ll get Gabe to take you home. He’s going to hang be back here and give us intel on the warehouse.”

             
She watched as Draven scraped the side of his jaw with his fingers, he was thinking about something, but then thought better of it. When he saw her staring he quickly went to the dresser in the corner and grabbed a fresh pair of black BDU's. He dressed quickly and finger combed his hair.

             
“What?” Jesminda asked. Hopeful.
Hopeful of what?
He was mad. A small part of her thought maybe he was trying not to hit her, but she quickly squashed the idea. He was not Marcus.

             
“Nothing, just know that I love you, okay?” He said the words again. He was making her get use to them. He knew they had a negative effect on her.

             
The words she should say were stuck, beating at the walls of her throat until she began hyperventilating.
Why?
She just couldn’t say them. Draven quickly walked over and grabbed her by her shoulders to get her attention. He lifted her hands above her head with one hand and rubbed her back with the other. God, she was a hot mess.

             
“Gods, baby I won’t say that again. Not until you’re ready to hear them.”
He stepped back when she was able to catch her breath. She watched as he walked to the kitchen to get her some water. His strength and his love should be more than enough for her. He wouldn’t put hands on her, not with force or hate. He’d care for her, put her first above all things.

             
He sat the cup in front and watched her drink. Satisfied, he took the cup setting it in the sink. Jes watched him walk from the kitchen to the door. Life with him would be similar, the two of them moving in tandem with the other. He was what she wanted but too scared to take.
He turned back as the door opened and smiled tightly.