Enlightened (13 page)

“Brian!” Jamie called up from under the window. I looked out to see him holding a long extension cord. “Catch!” He laughed and tossed one end up toward the window. It took three tries before I finally caught the damn thing and pulled it through into the tree house. Still chuckling at my abysmal attempts, he climbed up and closed the trapdoor behind him. He was in better spirits than I had seen him in a while. Flopping down on the floor next to where I was sitting, he leaned over and kissed me hello. When he pulled away, a brilliant smile lit up his face.

“I talked Mama into letting us camp out in the tree house whenever you stay over this summer,” he said, still slightly out of breath. “At first, I didn’t think she’d go for it because she thought we’d sneak girls up here.” He chortled and said, “As if,” and then continued, “I promised her that there wouldn’t be any girls, and then told her how much I really missed camping as a family. We haven’t gone in forever because her back is so bad. Then I brought up how we should get use out of the tree house before Daddy tears it down. In the end, she said it would be okay.”

I couldn’t believe it. We would be alone, really alone.

I practically tackled him in a hug.

“Okay, let’s get this stuff set up before supper,” he said, standing hunched over in the low space. Jamie laid out two open sleeping bags, and we spread out the mattress on top of them and inflated it. Then, while I put the bedding on the mattress, Jamie plugged in the fan and radio. On another crate, he emptied the contents of his school bag: chips, sodas, and a few cupcakes. We had the perfect clubhouse, and it was all ours. It almost felt like we were moving into our own little place.

Everything was set up and ready in time for supper, and it was a beautiful night to sit outside and eat. Mr. Mayfield grilled some burgers while Mrs. Mayfield laid out potato salad, coleslaw, corn on the cob, and watermelon slices on the patio table outside their back door. Jamie must have done quite a number on his mama for her to go all out like that.

We spent the evening sitting on the stylish but comfortable patio chairs, relaxing and talking with Jamie’s parents. We didn’t want to seem too eager to get up in the tree house, so while Mr. Mayfield told us stories about fishing with his daddy and brothers and Mrs. Mayfield reminisced about camping trips they’d taken as a family, Jamie and I waited.

After the sun had gone down and the supper dishes were cleaned, Jamie and I were able to grab a couple of flashlights and escape to our sanctuary. That tree house felt like a safe harbor surrounded by stormy seas. There were storms at our homes, storms at school; we were surrounded. The tree house was one place where we could be free.

Climbing up the ladder into the dark tree house alone with Jamie made the physical side of our relationship much less abstract. We were finally completely alone. The reality of it made me suddenly nervous.
What did he expect to happen tonight?
I didn’t want to disappoint him, but I wasn’t sure what I was ready for yet. My apprehension grew with each step I took up the ladder.

When I came through the trapdoor, Jamie was turning on a battery-operated lantern next to the bed. The knowledge that he was getting the bed ready for us made that anxiety in my stomach twist into knots. I was glad that he had already turned on the fan. It wasn’t terribly uncomfortable in the small space, but I was starting to sweat. I stood back near the closed door as he tossed his shoes into a corner, took off his shirt, and sat cross-legged on the bed waiting for me.

Going over to the radio, I turned it on, reducing the volume until it was just background noise. Then, still stalling, I took off my shoes and arranged them neatly next to his. Pulling my T-shirt over my head, I folded it neatly and set it on top of my bag. Breathing out a deep breath, I climbed onto the mattress and sat across from him.

“Brian, I…,” he started, but then abruptly stopped. He struggled with what he wanted to say, the words getting stuck before they were able to get out. “I just….” He sighed and looked down at the mattress.

“I’m not sure what you’re expecting,” he continued in a rush, “and I don’t want to disappoint you, but I’m not sure I’m ready to… to go all the way.”

I laughed; I couldn’t help it. His hurt eyes met mine, and I knew he thought I was laughing at him.

“I have been thinking that very same thing ever since we finished the supper dishes,” I said and took his hand; he relaxed and looked somewhat relieved. He must have been as worried about disappointing me as I was about him. “We don’t have to do anything other than just lie here and talk for a while.” Reaching over, I angled the fan so that it blew directly on us, and then I relaxed onto the pillows next to him. Seeing his open arms, I rolled over into them without any hesitation or doubt, resting my head on his warm bare chest.

“Jamie, what are we going to do after graduation? I mean, assuming we survive senior year,” I said half-jokingly. I didn’t necessarily mean surviving as in living, though if Jamie’s parents ever found out about us, that was certainly a consideration. I was really referring to our relationship and if it could survive a whole year of hiding, of lying. We were strong now, but would we stay that way if he had to keep up the charade with Emma?

“Are you still writing those essays?” he asked while stroking my shoulder with his thumb as we lay comfortably in each other’s arms. The deep sound of his voice resonated through his chest as he spoke, and I nodded against his warm skin. Jamie had spent so much time in Emma’s company lately, I had been able to crank out five more scholarship essays. It seemed like every scholarship a student applied for required some kind of essay, and, of course, they weren’t similar topics, so papers couldn’t be reused.

“I was also planning to get a job next year.” He pulled back to look down at me.

“Where?” he asked, but before I could answer, he continued. “And how are you going to get there or keep up your grades? If your grades slip, you won’t be able to get a scholarship.” I couldn’t help but chuckle. He raised an eyebrow in obvious inquiry.

“Okay, first, you sound just like your mama. Second, I’d planned to head over to the cotton mills first to see if I couldn’t get a three-to-eleven shift. I can do homework for an hour or so after my shift. I can also do it in study hall, at lunch, and on weekends. You’ll help me with the stuff I need help on. I can’t count on scholarships that might not come. I want to go wherever you go, and if I have to work full-time to get there, I will. I’ll do whatever it takes,” I finished with conviction. Jamie stared at me, and then slowly, he nodded. It must have been evident to him that he wasn’t going to change my mind. “Have you thought about where we should go?”

“I think it’s going to depend on what we can afford and what we want to study.” Kissing the top of my head and pulling me tighter against his chest, he continued. “I’d like to go somewhere more progressive than the University of Alabama, someplace we can be together and not have to worry. I’ve been thinking of maybe majoring in Engineering, or maybe something at a school like UCLA or SUNY. California and New York City seem like they’d be places where we wouldn’t have to be afraid.”

“We would still have to be careful that your parents don’t find out, or they’ll pull the plug on your tuition,” I suggested, turning to kiss the soft skin of his chest.

“Nope. I love my parents, but they have nothing to do with my tuition. Mamaw left me some money when she died, and Mama and Daddy put it away for my college. The account is designated for tax purposes as an educational account; it’s my money, not theirs.” His smile was triumphant, and I couldn’t help but feel optimistic about our future together. If we could just get through the next year, we would be fine. We had the beginnings of a plan. We were in love. We were going to be together.

“Have you thought about what you want to study after high school, Brian?” he asked, pushing my hair back away from my face.

“I love to build things, to create something from nothing. I’m not sure I’m good enough at math to go into architecture, but I was thinking along the lines of construction management,” I told him with a slight shrug.

“Your math grades are fine, and if you’re serious about architecture, we can start looking into what you’ll need to get into a good school. We’ll have to find one that offers what we both want.” Then he got serious again. “I want for us to always be together, Brian. I can’t imagine what my life would be like without you in it every day.” I nodded, and for the first time I was completely unable to tell him how I felt. If I couldn’t tell him, I would show him. Coming up onto my elbow, I lifted my head from his chest and leaned in slowly to kiss him. With my heart pounding out every bit of the emotion that I was feeling, I kissed him again and again. He was everything to me.

Everything.

The kiss, the passion, it was about more than just love. It was about that sexual need, that craving we had for each other. Pushing me back against the pillows, he lay on my chest, one of his legs wrapped around mine. I couldn’t think about the heat of the evening or the uncomfortable inflatable mattress beneath us; all I could think about was him. His kisses grew more urgent, and that swoop of excitement in the pit of my stomach intensified. Alone in the tree house, there was nothing to stop us from expressing every single one of the desires that had been building over the past few months. The fantasies that had plagued me about Jamie since I had been old enough to understand what they meant could be realized in our makeshift sanctuary there among the early summer leaves.

Shivering as his lips traveled an indistinct and as of yet uncharted path down my neck, I tried not to pull as I grasped the long, damp hair on the back of Jamie’s head. When I felt his warm breath along my chest, my fingers tightened their grip. As his lips closed around my nipple, my back arched and my hips bucked up into his. A strangled sound erupted from me as he sucked and licked the sensitive skin and our hips ground together. Even through the heavy material of our jeans, the friction of his pelvis rubbing desperately against my throbbing erection was enough to bring me to the edge. Thankfully, I was able to hold off, because as he moved lower I felt the whisper of his lips across my stomach.

The hand that was not in his hair then went to his shoulder, not to guide him, but simply for my own selfish comfort. I was both terrified and exhilarated by what was coming; my biggest, most exciting fantasy was about to come true. Chancing a glance down at him just as his mouth covered the area right above my waistband in exquisite, wet kisses, I saw that his eyes were closed but that he had a small, sweet smile on his lips.

Suddenly, he slid his body back up so that it was half on top of mine again, but before I had time to be disappointed, he was kissing me with long, deep, fiery kisses that made me wrap one of my legs around his waist and pull him closer. Slowly he broke the kiss and, after nuzzling his face against my neck, asked in a low, breathless voice, “Can I touch you?”

Without even the briefest hesitation, I nodded, and the word “please” was drawn from me just by the excitement and longing that I heard in his request. A gentle hand brushed over my stomach, and I panicked just a little as I felt his fingers undoing my jeans. My heart rate accelerated wildly, and I grabbed the sheet, balling it up in my fists on either side of my hips. Except for my heavy breaths, I lay paralyzed with him on his side right next to me as his hand slid into my jeans, and he stroked me through my briefs. I was so hard, and it felt so fucking good.

“Let’s see if doing my homework pays off,” he muttered. Dimly, I remembered the bag he wouldn’t let me see at the mall bookstore and wondered what he’d gotten. Quiet mewling sounds were pulled from me at even the idea of what he might have learned.

My whimpers didn’t go unnoticed, and he smirked slightly as he traced the contours of my erection though the thin material. I didn’t know what to do with my hands, so I fisted the sheet on either side of me, wanting to touch him but feeling incredibly shy about it. It was everything I could do just to keep my eyes on his as he pulled my desperately hard cock free from its trappings. Slowly he broke our gaze and looked down to see me, all of me.

With what seemed like a sudden burst of courage, he slid back down so that his shoulders were level with my hips and began pulling my jeans and briefs down. The suspended realization about what we were doing battled with the love, the excitement that I felt at his touch. I lifted my hips until both pieces of clothing were lying on the mattress at my feet. It felt so strange, yet almost natural, to be lying nude for Jamie with the breeze from the fan blowing over my skin. Taking his time, his eyes traveled over every inch of me, from my feet, up my calves, and over my thighs. He lingered at my hips, lightly stroking me as he took his fill of the sight before him. Then his eyes traveled up my stomach and my chest, finally meeting my own slightly embarrassed gaze.

His body hovering over mine, he kissed me gently. “You are so beautiful,” he whispered between sweet romantic kisses. Then once again, he was gone, and the next thing I felt nearly sent me through the roof. It was Jamie’s tongue as he licked the underside of my cock. I couldn’t watch him anymore, and my head drove back into the pillow as he swirled his tongue over what felt like every inch of me. Soon he was concentrating on just the head, sucking lightly. It was indescribable, like my whole body was on fire and the source was beneath his lips. Nothing had ever felt that good, certainly not my own fumbling hand. His mouth closed around me, and he sucked as he bobbed his head carefully. The knuckles on both of my hands were white with the strain of gripping the sheet as my back arched, and he took me deeper. I heard a muted gagging sound, and he pulled back but didn’t let me fall from his lips.

My orgasm was already so close; there was no way I was going to last much longer.

The sounds that were ripped from me were primal, guttural, as the freight train force of my orgasm approached. While I tried desperately not to push my hips up, to push my cock deeper into his mouth, it was a battle that I lost. I felt his fingers tentatively stroking between my legs. I would sometimes touch or pull on my balls as I jacked off, but this was different. It was Jamie. His touch was as unexpected as it was exciting. As his head continued to move, sliding my cock in and out of his mouth as he sucked me, I was forcibly reminded of those pictures on the computer. The memory of the looks of sheer pleasure on those boys’ faces made me wonder what my own expression was as I spread my legs further and gave him full access to my body.