Endless Flames (Surviving Ashes, Book Four) (13 page)

Berke wanted to tell her that he would never give up because it just wasn’t the way he was made, but the words didn’t form. The intimacy she created and the manner in which she held him blameless was too irresistible, even though he knew both to be a lie. Could those lies turn into truths? She hadn’t wanted anything to do with him back home due to his reputation and he certainly wasn’t innocent of the part he’d played in causing what had taken place today at the checkpoint. Still, that didn’t stop him from taking a break from reality—a reality that was changing. Maybe, just maybe, their paths had meant to be interwoven.

He pulled her into his lap, pressing his lips against her neck as he held her tight. The comforting embrace was more than he deserved, but he never said he wasn’t a greedy man. This new way of life they’d been given hadn’t been one he’d chosen for himself. Their objectives had changed and so should their thought processes, but until he could ensure her safety, and that of Jacob, it wasn’t wise to proceed any further down this path.

“Look at me,” Berke murmured, pulling back far enough so that he could see Maxie’s expression. He slid both hands up so that his palms cradled her heart-shaped face, not wanting her to miss a word of what he was about to say. “There was a reason we stayed away from each other back home. I wasn’t even remotely ready for anything more than a casual fling and you were sharp enough to see that.”

“I don’t do things the usual way myself, now do I?” Maxie whispered, her rosy lips inches from his. Berke was already shaking his head, but not in answer to her question. Couldn’t she see that he was a danger to her now? He was leading her and Jacob into the crosshairs of some very dangerous people. It wasn’t likely the NRO would stop until they had control of the bunker, if they even still wanted it. If the NRO had a senior member who had turned and was using the agency’s assets to secure the bunker for himself and his followers, then eventually the place would be overrun and taken by them. Berke had to maintain total control until he had an idea of how many agents were involved in this latest coup. Distractions could lead to their demise if they weren’t careful. “I just want to hold onto you for now. Nothing more, nothing less.”

Maxie gently pressed her lips to his, making this moment anything but less. Berke had limitations and one of them was crossing the line with a woman who would make him want more. She was the complete package and he was man enough to admit she scared him senseless. She represented a family different from the one he’d grown into with his unit and vastly unlike the one he’d grown up with as a child. They were in unchartered territory with massive waves that were pulling him under and crashing on the rocks.

The moment Maxie’s soft tongue touched Berke’s bottom lip in the most sensual swipe was the second he realized he’d already drowned. He lowered his arm around her waist and then tilted her head with his other hand, passionately devouring what she was offering. She tasted of honey, but had the sting of a wasp as a current of arousal went through him unlike any he’d ever experienced.

Maxie’s delicate fingers threaded through the back of his hair and her tight grasp let him know she was anything but fragile. The temperature in the room ratcheted higher while their heartbeats raced each other to a finish that they wouldn’t cross this morning. The sound of Jacob’s continuous chatter had them pulling apart.

“Looks like our morning alarm has just sounded,” Berke said softly, taking his thumb and drawing it across her lower lip. Things had now changed and there was no going back. Did he even want to? Did she? Maxie’s half-smile wasn’t filled with regret in the least and somehow that made him want her all the more. “I’ll radio in to Mav that we’re headed up the hill within the hour. That should give you enough time to feed and change Jacob.”

“No one holds you responsible, Berke. Besides yourself, that is,” Maxie reminded him gently, although he wished she hadn’t. Maxie’s kiss had done the job she’d intended and now reality was facing him once again. She unfolded her petite frame from his lap and stood, leaning down to collect the lantern. “We’ll get to the lodge and then you can introduce me to your whole family. We’ll then have a chance to sit down and figure this situation out together.”

Berke nodded and then watched as Maxie walked away, calling out to Jacob to reassure him that she was nearby. She appeared as poised as ever and he wondered if anything ever got her rattled. She seemed pretty damned confident that this was an easy thing to overcome, but she didn’t know the kind of people he’d met at the NRO—determined, single-minded people who accomplished the missions that they were assigned. He hoped like hell they could figure out what mess he’d created before there was any more bloodshed. He’d thought he’d left that behind when he’d joined civilian life, but it looked as if it had returned tenfold. He struggled to find the humor that had gotten him through so many situations just like this. He failed to do so as Maxie took the light with her, leaving him encased in the darkness so that his night vision could slowly return.

M
axie gently pressed
her fingertips against her lips, savoring the way the unrelenting tingles remained from kissing Berke. She’d honestly meant what she’d said about her embrace meant to comfort him and she wasn’t sure what the hell she’d been thinking when she’d leaned in for more…but she didn’t regret it one damned bit. These past three weeks had been an eye opener and an experience she wouldn’t trade for the world. She’d gotten to know Berke as a man instead of the hero her father and their hometown had proclaimed him to be.

Was Berke a hero? All servicemen and women were heroes and heroines in her eyes, but Berke was so much more than that. Maxie had learned so much about the men he called brothers, the older Gunnery Sergeant they called Tank, and the man himself. Berke was a man of intelligence, integrity, reliability, and compassion. His former unit was a family brought together due to necessity, none of them having their own flesh and blood to claim as their own. It was a family born out of loyalty and trust. They had a bond that no one could ever break, and Berke was taking her into the fold. The problem was that she wasn’t so sure she wanted to be
that
kind of family.

The more time Maxie spent with Berke, the further she was willing to push their boundaries to see where they could end up. The questions that remained were if he’d changed his mind about her and if he’d grown up enough to have an adult relationship. Only time would tell and she wasn’t sure they had a lot of that precious commodity.

“Ma-ma-ma-ma-ma,” Jacob prattled on as he waited patiently for Maxie to hand him another cracker. She’d already supplemented his ration with what she could find around the grocery store, this food better than the MREs Berke had broken out a week ago. Jacob wasn’t fond of them and Maxie couldn’t blame him at all. The food-like substance contained in the various pouches tasted like dog food, but it was a hell of a lot better than starving. “Ma-ma-ma-ma-ma.”

“I guess I am,” Maxie relented with a little relief, having dealt with another struggle altogether and relented to Jacob’s better judgment—what should Jacob call her? Berke’s argument that she was the one raising him did add substance to one side of the argument, but she would never think to hide from him the identity of his biological mother. “You know, I read where it’s time you start drinking from sippy cups instead of a bottle. I’m not so sure you’re going to go for that, but I found a red one still on the shelf here that you might want to try.”

Maxie kept up the conversation with Jacob the entire time she listened for any sign of Berke. She’d left him at the front of the store, but she hadn’t heard him do his perimeter check or pack up the things he’d taken with him. She glanced at the watch on her wrist, noting it was six-thirty in the morning. He’d wanted to head out a half an hour ago, but he still hadn’t come for them.

“Okay, let’s see what’s taking Berke so long,” Maxie said, twisting the brown paper on the crackers to keep them fresh before shoving them inside the diaper bag. She held out her hands and Jacob leaned toward her, still munching on the cracker in his pudgy fingers. “We only need to do one more ride, Jacob. Then let’s hope you never have to get zipped into that bubble chair ever again.”

“Rmmmmm,” Jacob uttered, bits of wet, mushed bread flying out of his mouth. A few months ago, Maxie would have been disgusted by such an act, but now she just laughed and wiped the slobber from his chin. “Rmmmmm.”

“Is that your imitation of our Mule?” Maxie leaned down and grabbed the handle of the LED lantern. The store was empty enough that Jacob’s motor sounds echoed through the hollow ceiling above. It wasn’t so much the quietness that made Maxie uncomfortable, but more so that Berke hadn’t made an appearance. “Berke?”

No answer. He was probably out near the dock, checking on their mode of transportation.

Right?

Maxie walked slowly down the aisle, holding up the lantern so she could see farther into the distance. It didn’t help her semblance of calm in the least. The darkness seemed to swallow them whole the more they walked toward the back of the store. She was holding Jacob on her left hip due to the fact that her black leather holster was attached to her belt on the right. It wouldn’t do her any good, considering she was holding the lantern in her right hand.

Maxie considered hiding Jacob somewhere safe while she went in search of Berke and checked things out, but she was afraid Jacob would keep calling out to her and give his location away to any unwanted visitors. Was someone else here? Was that why Berke wasn’t answering?

Maxie had been a cop long enough to have a gut instinct on things and she wasn’t sensing any particular danger, but that didn’t mean she was comfortable with the lack of response. She continued walking toward the back with every intention of turning left to head to the dock area when she heard something drop from a shelf a couple of aisles over.

Even Jacob looked in that direction, his blue eyes wide with curiosity. He looked up and surprised her.

“Book.”

“Shhh,” Maxie said, noting that it was useless to quiet Jacob when he continued to chant his new word. “Jacob, shhh.”

“Book.”

“No books,” Maxie corrected, managing to juggle the lantern into her left hand while still maintaining a hold of Jacob. She unclipped her weapon and had the butt of the firearm securely in her palm. This wasn’t exactly how she wanted to confront someone, but she’d do what she had to in order to protect what was hers. “Who’s there? Berke? Is that you?”

“Book?”

Maxie finally made the connection, but it was at the same time that a white and black cat appeared around the corner. All she saw was a blur of fur go by as the scared cat took off.

“Damn it.”

“Damit.”

“No, Jacob,” Maxie admonished, wondering when she’d lost control of things. She wanted to string a few more curse words together, but Jacob had suddenly decided to parrot people more quickly than what she’d understood him capable of. She thought back to the numerous parenting books and couldn’t remember at what age they started to mimic words. Wasn’t he early? “Can you say Berke?”

“Book!” Jacob yelled with glee, causing Maxie to wince at the squeal. It was a good thing it had only been a damned cat and not someone intent on an ambush.

“Did someone call my name?” Berke asked, humor lacing his tone. Had he seen or heard what had just happened? Maxie looked up to find that Berke had been using the restroom, though he had all of his equipment loaded onto his back. “You okay? You look a little bit shaken up.”

“There’s a cat running around in here,” Maxie said distractedly, refusing to let him know that she’d gotten all worked up over nothing. She hiked Jacob a little higher, causing a small chuckle to escape him, and took the lantern in her other hand to shift the weight. “He’s skittish, but I’m not going to feel right leaving him here.”

Berke had reached out to let Jacob grab a hold of his finger, apparently not caring that his stubby little digits were wet. The frown on his face was more than apparent in the illuminating light, but she didn’t care if he found her request to be a hindrance. She wasn’t about to leave a helpless animal to die under these circumstances.

“Book.”

“Is he—”

“Yes,” Maxie divulged, matching Berke’s proud smile now that Jacob was saying his name. That didn’t mean she’d forget about her request. “And Jacob’s reward is that kitty cat who just scurried toward the docking area.”

“Maxie,” Berke said as the happiness left his face to be replaced with irritation, “I’m not going to waste time looking for—”

“Then I will,” Maxie declared, thrusting Jacob into Berke’s arms as she turned on the heel of her boot. She refused to allow an innocent animal to starve to death. She’d watched humanity start to die off these last few weeks and she refused to be a part of it anymore. “Could you grab Jacob’s diaper bag and blanket? I’ll meet you out back.”

“How do you think you’re going to transport a—”

“I’m crafty,” Maxie replied as she used her lantern to make her way to the double swinging doors of the docking area. Berke had propped one of them open so they could hear any sounds of tampering coming from this part of the store. The Mule was parked sideways. He’d pulled in at an angle from one side and turned so they wouldn’t have to back the trailer out. She stopped walking and tilted her head to listen for any sounds of scurrying that didn’t belong to the smaller rodent version. “Here, kitty-kitty.”