Endless (36 page)

‘Will you be all right?’

I raised my eyebrows. The two of
them
, enclosed in a vehicle for the next twenty minutes, and he was asking if
I
would be okay.

‘Will
you
?’ I asked.

He nodded solemnly, going inside to get the keys.

When I turned a sceptical gaze back to Phoenix, his hair sparkled in the late afternoon sunlight. With the backdrop of the river he looked striking and my breath caught. Phoenix didn’t offer any further explanation and instead cast his eyes out over the water. Surprising us both, the moment overcame me and I closed the distance between us. He actually braced in readiness for a strike, but nothing could have hit him harder than when I put my arms around him.

Tentatively, his arms returned the gesture, exhaling as though the heaviest of weights had been slowly lifted from him and pulled me close.

For once, Phoenix didn’t try to play with my emotions. Instead, he was eerily still, emotionally and physically.

‘We’ve all made mistakes,’ I said quietly. ‘Terrible mistakes. We’ve all played a part in where we are now – you don’t carry this alone. You won’t finish it alone, either. I promise.’ I didn’t tell him about the potion Steph and Dapper were working on, but I would make sure he got it when I was gone. I just held him tight and he held me back, his cheek resting on the top of my head.

‘I’ve
never felt … The way you get to me.’ He was breathing deeply. ‘I know what I’ve done but, I swear to you … If there is a way to save you, I’ll find it.’

‘I know.’ And I did.

He leaned back, his hand cupping my face tenderly. ‘Next time I see you, you’ll be lost to me forever.’

I stared back into his sad eyes, caught in his spell.

What does that mean?

Lincoln cleared his throat from the doorway. ‘For Christ’s sake, when you’re done groping her, can we go?’

Phoenix’s chest trembled as he snickered. I found myself mimicking the silent response. After all, a couple of hours ago such a comment from Lincoln would have ensured physical combat between the two of them.

When Phoenix pulled back from me, his eyes were different. Somehow they seemed renewed, reflecting something of the old him that made me smile. I wondered fleetingly, if in another time, another place, the three of us could have been friends.

Probably not.

CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT

‘You will not fear the terror of night, nor the arrow that flies by day.”

Psalm 91:5

T
he water
pelted down, hot and fast and I relished the extreme sensation.

My life was officially on the clock.

I would never see Dad again. I would never hang out with Steph or joke around with Spence. I’d never paint another canvas.

And yet, despite all of this, like Phoenix, a weight had been lifted from my shoulders. Did that make me terrible?

Perhaps.

Nonetheless I was relieved to know I’d make a difference – for the better. Tomorrow night I would save innocent lives, children who would one day grow up to become warriors. This would be my death. It had to count as one of the better ways to die.

Scared?

I was petrified. But it wouldn’t help to fall apart – there simply was not enough time.

I thought back to when Uri had first spoken to me, when I had embraced – he’d said ‘Even the greatest bringers of justice will only find salvation in surrender.’

This must be what he’d meant.

A shame he hadn’t seen fit to enlighten me with that one crucial detail: that surrender would lead to a gruesome death.

I felt the first prickle of a tear. I held it back. But the thoughts kept coming.

Everything we’ve done – all for nothing.

Lilith would survive us, and Phoenix would be left to destroy her, something that would not be done easily.

But what other option is there?

Not one of us could stand by and let so many children be slaughtered. Lilith had played a masterful hand.

I braced my hand against the shower wall. I half expected to break down, but I didn’t. Instead, breathing deeply, I withdrew to that place I had learned to go a long time ago, the one that forced me to stand strong, that had helped me survive the attack when I was younger. I hadn’t let that teacher break me, nor would I let Lilith.

I don’t run. I don’t quit. I don’t believe in fairy-tale endings.

I
will
face Lilith.

The time for falling apart was over. The time for contemplating Heaven and Hell and which one favoured me was over, too. I wasn’t going to be one of those people who dropped to their knees in the final stretch when it had never before seemed a logical idea.

Standing there under the shower, my thoughts travelled to Lincoln and I broke into a fit of bitter giggles. After all that we had done to stay away from each other. Fighting the very core of our souls that demanded closeness which we only denied, denied, denied. It seemed crazy now that we’d actually considered it a possibility to live our long lives side by side in such a ridiculous pattern of partnership but not as the soulmates we really were.

Who were we kidding?

Now, ironically – life’s last bitch-slap – we were going to die anyway.

Sure, we could call in Griffin and the cavalry, but at what cost? Lilith would no doubt kill the children and our lives were not worth that risk. We were Grigori. We were warriors. It was our duty.

But then, something else clicked in my mind. The rambling thoughts and the tears stopped and I blinked. I’d missed something.

Phoenix’s words –
You’d be best off if you considered every way to make yourself as powerful as possible before then
– and the difficulty with which he’d delivered them.

‘Oh my God,’ I whispered. ‘We’re
both
going to die.’

The air left my lungs and I grasped hold of the taps to stop myself from falling to my knees.

There is absolutely no reason for us not to be together.

In fact, for the first time, everything was in favour of Lincoln’s soul being bonded to mine. The power it would give us, the ability to share our strengths and healing. It would give me more time, which equalled more children. And afterwards … Lincoln wouldn’t have to consciously endure the torment of his own execution.

All the risks of causing each other pain and hurt, all the dread of awful consequences vanished.

We were free.

Tomorrow, we will die.

But not tonight.

I smiled as bittersweet relief filled my soul.

Then I shaved my legs.

I’d been in the shower for so long that by the time I emerged, Lincoln was back from dropping off Phoenix and I could hear him moving around downstairs. I threw on a pair of jeans and a T-shirt, wishing I had something more … But I didn’t.

I took my time, excited to find my hairdryer along with my toiletries bag. Zoe had obviously packed for me.

It was dark outside when I finally emerged from my bedroom. I headed down the hall and gasped when I reached the top of the stairs. The lights were off and dozens of tea-light candles lined the path down. Soft music that I didn’t recognise drifted up from below. It was an old instrumental piece, something Lincoln must have found in the cabin. Known or not, it would remain my favourite song. For eternity.

I padded slowly down the stairs, my heart pounding, but in an all-good, exhilarating way. In the living room the fire crackled, giving off a warm glow.

My hand went to my mouth.

White lilies.

Everywhere.

Frozen in place, I looked towards the kitchen. Lincoln was facing the stove, stirring something. He must have had a shower while I was drying my hair, because his was still damp, and messed about. He was wearing jeans and a white T-shirt. Barefoot. His arm flexed as he concentrated on whatever he was cooking, but he knew I was there.

‘Dinner’s almost
ready,’ he said, without turning around.

Whatever had happened to Lincoln between the last time I saw him and now, we’d clearly come to the same realisation.

I chewed on a smile.

‘So,’ I said, casually. ‘We’re really going to die, huh?’

At that, Lincoln put down a wooden spoon and turned. He paused, looking me up and down, his eyes travelling over me in a way he rarely allowed himself. My pulse raced.

His gaze settled on mine and I noticed the bruise on his cheek. He took a step towards me, and any coherent thoughts I had, scrambled.

‘Either way,’ he said, his voice thick as syrup, ‘Don’t you think we’ve waited long enough?’

I hitched a shoulder. ‘The foreplay was dragging on,’ I said, my smile now cheeky.

He watched, biting down on his lower lip.

‘And if we only have tonight, I know exactly how I want to spend it,’ he said. Simple. Sure.

Hyperventilate later!

I looked right back at him. ‘Me too.’

He nodded once and spun back in the direction of the kitchen. ‘Sit down,’ he said. ‘I’ll finish making dinner.’

Even with his back to me I could see his body heaving with heavy breaths that mirrored mine.

‘Linc?’ I whispered.

‘Hmm,’ he said, one hand gripping the kitchen bench as if trying to fasten himself there.

My heart
thumped. I felt every nerve in my body come to life as my soul awoke with the sense of possibility.

Breathe.

‘I’m not hungry.’

I didn’t even make my first step towards him before he was there, crushing me into his body, taking my face in his hands. He paused only to look at me, to make sure I knew he was seeing me.

‘I love you,’ he said, and then his lips were on mine.

My hands were in his hair, then down the strong lines of his back. His arms lifted me into the air as my legs wrapped around his waist. I cried out with the sheer relief of knowing I could finally let go, of knowing I could finally allow my soul its freedom.

He carried me upstairs, stopping along the way to back me into the wall, to press against me and kiss me in that way of his that ignited every kind of fire conceivable. Slowly, meaningfully, his lips moved with single-minded purpose, telling me with every deliberate touch that he loved me. It reminded me of the first kiss we’d shared and I knew now, that was the moment my soul discovered his and decided they belonged together.

The burden of our choice had finally been lifted. As a result, Lincoln showed me exactly what it was like to be loved by him without restraint. He was strong and unwavering, but he didn’t rush, taking his time with my clothes and letting me linger as I removed his. I needed the staring time, damn it. He was utterly beautiful.

He laid me on the bed and held himself over me, his eyes burning into mine with love and want and need and I knew the same emotions were reflected in my own. It was dreamlike. The world had taken on a new perspective and I could feel and see everything with more intensity.

He pushed
my arms up over my head and pressed his palms into mine, each finger connecting with one of my own. He took his time and somehow it was the most sensual experience of my life – feeling his fingers pushing down on mine until they curled around my hand and then, undoing me, he started all over again – his eyes on me the entire time.

My soul pushed forwards, hungry, willing and demanding what it had desired for so long. What it
needed
. For the first time I let go.

I’d imagined this moment over and over, in my dreams. I thought I knew how it would feel, but it wasn’t what I had imagined. This moment transcended everything, because when we joined, my soul – so much more intense than my angelic power – surged up and found his, entwining with it, drowning me in his essence and everything that felt like the sun.

And then came the power.

Like a whirlwind, our abilities opened up to each other and I felt the final bond form, creating a gateway from one to another. I felt the rush of his immense strength, and was immediately in tune with his shadow-finding abilities. If I wanted to draw on his powers, I could. It was all there for the taking, just as mine were to him.