End of the Road (Ghost Stories Trilogy #1) (8 page)

Chapter Fifteen

In hindsight, I probably
shouldn’t have been driving. I shouldn’t have had a six-pack of beer in the
front seat with me either. I know that now, but it’s too late.

There was a considerable
amount of traffic on the highway. It seemed like everyone wanted to get out of
the heat and escape to the mountains or lakes. The stop and go of the traffic started
to lull me to sleep. I shook it off and cracked another beer. Just past Black
Canyon City and Cave Creek the cars spread out a bit so I stepped on the gas.
My car handled the curves like a dream.  My fifth beer was going down smooth,
the weekend without the nagging wife stretched out ahead of me.

I pulled a pack of Lucky
Strikes out of the breast pocket of my bowling shirt. As I was lighting up a
cigarette, I stopped paying attention to the road. I came around the bend and
saw brake lights. There wasn’t time to slow down and I slammed into the back of
a Suburban. My car flipped over onto its side and the metal crunched upon
impact. This didn’t slow down the momentum though and sparks flew as my car
squealed across the highway. I closed my eyes to protect them and suddenly the
screeching stopped. I opened up my eyes to see why. My Bel Air had shot out
over the embankment and time slowed, making it seem like I was suspended in the
air. There was nothing I could do except brace for impact as the ground raced
up to meet my car.

“I’m sorry Faye,” I
whispered and closed my eyes again as the car crumpled and I was ejected out.
Everything went snow white and quiet. My first recollection after that was of
gravel and rock skittering down the side of the hill, like a mini avalanche. A
highway patrol officer followed in pursuit. I raised my arm so he could see me
from where I was lying on the ground.  He wasn’t stopping. I yelled out so he
wouldn’t step on me. Instead he ran right through me. I can’t describe the
feeling; it was like I was made of water.

I turned my head and saw
the officer helping a medic put a body covered in a white sheet on a stretcher.
Blood seeped through the fabric like ink on a blotter. I squinted to see
through the dust that had been stirred up, and couldn’t stop staring. That was
me! How could that be me? I watched as more emergency people showed up. It took
four men to carry my body up the hillside. After everyone left, I realized I
was still there. Where was I supposed to go now? I looked up and started at the
sight of two people standing on the edge of the highway. A young Mexican woman
and a man with weird glasses were staring down at me. They could see me! Upon
closer inspection I realized I could see through them. Curious, I started up
the embankment. It was quite easy; I kind of just floated up and didn’t have to
put any effort into it at all. I glanced down to check my footing, that’s when
I noticed that like the people I was approaching, my feet were transparent too.

“Am I dead?” I asked when
I reached the top. Lawrence and Juanita smiled and confirmed it. They smiled
like it was god damned normal to be having this conversation and I just asked
them about the weather when I was dead. Dead! Unable to deal with the anger and
fear boiling inside me, I went back down to the mangled remains of my car and
waited; thinking maybe my ghost status was only temporary.

When I got tired of being
alone, and of staring at the same damn rocks, I tried to walk back to Phoenix.
I got as far as maybe thirty feet and couldn’t go any further, as if some
invisible shield held me in. “Fine,” I muttered to myself and turned around to
walk north. I didn’t really walk, though. I thought about where I wanted to go
and suddenly I was there, hitting against another invisible barrier.

I tilted my head towards
the sky and yelled. “God, are you up there? Did you forget about me?” I didn’t
expect an answer, God didn’t have a good track record of answering my prayers,
but it was worth a try.

***

Based on Lawrence’s calculations, I stayed down there for almost two months. It didn’t seem that
long, but time does funny things when you’re dead.  Finally, when I realized my
situation was more permanent, I ventured up to the top of the embankment.

When I reached the top, I
saw Lawrence and Juanita standing by a mesquite tree on the other side of the
highway. Their backs were to me, but they both turned to face me as soon as I
stood behind them.

“We had been wondering
how long you were going to stay down there,” Lawrence said, introducing himself
first and then Juanita. Out of habit I reached my hand out for a shake and
learned, like with solid objects, we couldn’t touch. Our hands just passed
right through one another.

“Why didn’t you come to
find out?”

“We can’t go that far,
only to the edge.”

So we all had similar
limitations. I looked past Lawrence to see what they had been so preoccupied
with and noticed some bones sticking out of the ground at the base of the tree.

“Are those human?” I
asked.

“Si, that’s what’s left
of me. Well, and of course this,” she gestures to herself. “Whatever this is.”

I was stunned with how
matter-of-fact Juanita was about her bones melting into the ground.

“Do you have any ideas
why you think you’re still here?” Lawrence asked.

“Yes.” I proceeded to
tell them about Faye and the baby. “I always thought she was being a nag, but I
realize now she was ready to grow up. I kept resisting and being a selfish
jerk. I’ll never know my child and I didn’t leave much behind for Faye. Plus, I
wrecked our only vehicle. I’ve really made a mess of things.”

“We all have children as
part of our regrets,” Lawrence said. He told me what happened to him and all I
could do was shake my head. I couldn’t imagine watching my family die right in
front of me.

“I’m sorry, that is truly
horrible.” Tears glittered on the rim of Lawrence’s eyes, he turned away and
disappeared. Moments later he reappeared on the other side of the highway.

“He’ll need to be alone
for a while.” I was so caught up in Lawrence’s story, I had forgotten about Juanita.
Her soft voice captured my attention.

“Do you have a similar
story?” I asked.

“Nothing as tragic, but I
left a daughter behind. Her name is Mariella.” Juanita’s body lit up at the
mention of her child’s name and I took a step back.

“What?” she asked.

“You flicker, do you know
that?”

“Si, we do. I’m not sure
why.”

Juanita continued with
her story and she was choking on the words towards the end. I kept staring at her
bones, bleached white from the sun. I was unable to fully reconcile that they
once belonged to the woman standing before me. It was difficult to comprehend
how long Lawrence and Juanita had been stuck here. If they hadn’t figured out
how to move on, I didn’t think I would either.

“So what’s next?” I asked.

“I don’t know. I guess we
wait.” Juanita turned towards the sunset. Her glow faded to where she was
barely visible; just an imprint on the dusk.

And so I waited. I didn’t
get hungry, hot or cold. I didn’t crave a cigarette although I had a ghost pack
permanently stored in my shirt pocket. I thought about Faye and the baby. I
wondered if she had a boy or girl and what our child looked like. If we had a
daughter did she resemble Faye? Thinking like that wasn’t healthy, but we all
did it anyway. At least Lawrence and Juanita knew their children, had held
them, played with them. All I had was my imagination.

I didn’t realize how
quickly time passed until Georgia joined us. When she told us what year it was
all I could do was blink in amazement. I knew time had marched on, but it was a
shock to know how many years had come and gone while I was basically standing
still.  

Chapter Sixteen

Georgia Anne Jessup

b.1949 – d.1968

Johnny draped his arm
across my shoulders and I leaned into him. Cigarette smoke swirled over our
heads and disappeared into the cloudless sky.  Brett Higgins rested back
against the brick building, facing us.

“So what do you think?”

“I’m in,” Johnny said.
“What about you Georgia, dare to sneak out?”

I peered into Johnny’s
blue eyes which were barely visible under his brown, shaggy hair. My stomach
flipped and a fluttery sensation returned further below. The three of us were
smoking in the alley between Woolworth’s and Smith’s Barber Shop, our favorite
hangout after school. Brett and Johnny were planning on going to an abandoned
farmhouse on the outskirts of town. The secluded location provided a great
place to drink, smoke and fool around. I wanted to say yes and spend the night
with Johnny, but I’d have to sneak out and risk the consequences if I got
caught. This move would get any girl my age in trouble, but my parents were
devout Mormons and my punishment would definitely be severe.

“I don’t know,” I said
and took another pull off my cigarette.

“Come on, it’ll be fun.”
Johnny moved in closer to me and his lips brushed my neck, sending a warm flush
over my body. The fluttering in my stomach increased.

“Okay,” I breathed. “I’ll
sneak out, but I can’t until my parents are asleep.”

“That’s real ace!” He
kissed me; a wet, smoky kiss. He stepped away and touched a forefinger to my
chin.  “Later.” His lips curled up on one side in a crooked grin, revealing the
slightest impression of a dimple.

Johnny and Brett picked
their school books up off of the concrete and walked out of the alley. I stayed
rooted in place and watched Johnny walk away, admiring how his Levi’s fit just
right.

I shook off the lingering
sensation of Johnny’s lips on mine and popped a piece of gum in my mouth,
hoping it would be enough to cover up the smell of cigarettes. My mom was home
when I got there like she was every day. She was serenely folding laundry with
the same fake smile glued to her face. I didn’t understand how she could be
happy being a housewife. She married my father right out of high school and seemed
content washing his dirty underwear and cooking him meals.

“Hi Georgia, how was your
day?” She set a towel on top of a stack and glanced up at me.

“Okay.”

“That’s nice dear. Are
you hungry? I can make you a snack.”

“Nope, I’ve got a ton of
homework to do.” I held up my armful of books as evidence and beat feet down
the hall to my room. It wasn’t only my room, I had to share with my younger
sister, Emily, which was a drag, but at least she wasn’t home yet. I tossed my
stuff onto the floor and flopped onto my bed. My thoughts weren’t on school,
but on how to escape later without Emily finding out and snitching.

We had one window in our
room and a desk was placed directly underneath. I stood up and walked over to
check the sturdiness. Not even a creak could be heard when I kneeled on it.
Next, I tested the window. It got stuck about halfway up and I had to use my
full body weight to shove it the rest of the way.  The air conditioning wasn’t
running and it was a warm spring day, I could get away with keeping it open. I
loosened the screen so it would just pop out with a light touch.

So far so good, I thought
and stepped back to observe my work. Nothing seemed unusual. All I had to do
was act normal.

Chapter Seventeen

Rage and frustration
coiled up in my stomach and I unleashed my emotions with a loud, “Fuck you!” My
mother blinked her eyes and took a step back, stunned by the force of my words.
My father didn’t, instead he grabbed my upper arm and squeezed.

“I will not have you
running around town making a spectacle of yourself! Smoking? Kissing
delinquents? Do you want to bring shame onto your family?” He squeezed one more
time, hard enough to cause pain. There was a burning sensation under my skin as
blood vessels burst, caving underneath the pressure of his grip. Finally he let
go and turned around. He started pacing the room and I knew from the seventeen
years of living under his roof that he was working up a lecture. One of the
elders had seen me in the alley with Johnny and promptly reported my scandalous
behavior to my father. He promptly came home from work and let me have it. My
mother stood by his side, nodding in mindless agreement. Her lack of backbone
disgusted me.

“Fuck your rules and fuck
your religion! I hate you and everything about this stupid town!” If he was
working up some fire and brimstone, well then, so was I. “All you do is
oppress. I want to live, be free.”

He turned back around and
the fury in his eyes surprised me. If storm clouds could have formed above his
head, he had enough atmospheric charge to make it happen.

“That’s enough out of
you. You will respect my rules and my house. You will especially respect God!”
My mother bobbed her head while my siblings remained seated at the dining room
table. All of them had their mouths hanging open while meatloaf and mashed
potatoes congealed on their plates. An argument at dinner wasn’t unusual, but
this was the first time I had cursed in front of my parents.

“You don’t respect me,” I
said, struggling to keep my voice even.

“Ha! You’re just a child,
you don’t know anything.” His words stung. I would always be a child, an
irrational female in his eyes.

“I’m not a child, I’m a
woman. In every sense of the word,” I said to my mother and raised my eyebrow
at her.

She gasped and one of her
hands flew up to cover her open mouth. “Georgia, you didn’t!”

“Yes I did it and it was
great.” The lie came so easily and the satisfaction of seeing the hurt on my
mom’s face, plus the disgust on my father’s made the lie acceptable. Their
expectation for both of their daughters to remain virgins until we were married
was archaic and unrealistic. Free love was happening everywhere well, everywhere
except Taylorsville, Utah, and I wanted some.

“You’re a disgrace to
this family,” my father said before walking out of the room, leaving silence in
his wake.

My mother stood there, sobbing
and wringing her hands together before sitting down in her chair at the table.
My brothers, Jacob and Michael, were too young to really understand what I
meant, but they understood my father’s words and refused to look at me. Emily
had started to cry, her usual reaction when things got turbulent.

“Great parenting, Dad!” I
yelled and stormed off to my room. I couldn’t stand living here and refused to
accept the same fate as my mother. I pulled a duffle bag off of the top shelf
in the closet and set it on my bed. Emily shuffled in and sat down cautiously
like she didn’t want to wrinkle her bedspread.

“What are you doing?”

“I’m leaving.”

“But it’s Family Home
Evening tonight.” I rolled my eyes at her. I tolerated the forced family night
where we participated in what the current church’s president called “wholesome
activities”. “Georgia, don’t be so dramatic. Dad’s just being Dad. He’ll get
over it.”

“It’s not just Dad, Em.
Do you see how women are treated by the church? We are expected to adhere to
these ridiculous rules. It’s bullshit. I’m my own person and don’t agree with
how we’ve been raised.”

“Why are you so angry all
the time?”

“Never mind, you’re too
brainwashed to understand. There’s a whole world out there waiting. Taylorsville is a dead end.”

“I’m not brainwashed.”

I was being mean. Emily
was only fourteen and too naïve to see the big picture. None of this was her
fault.

“You’re right. I’m sorry,”
I said in a softer voice.

She seemed mollified by
this and watched as I threw jeans and other necessary items into the bag. Emily
stood and walked over to the dresser we shared. She had the left side of the
top and the first three drawers. I had the right side of the top and the bottom
three drawers. She opened up her piggy bank and handed me some loose bills.

“What’s this for?”

“Take it, I know how
stubborn you are about asking for help and I know you’re set on leaving. I want
to make sure you’ll be okay.”

Twenty-two dollars wasn’t
going to go a long way, but my sister never failed in her generosity. I took
the money and hugged her tight.

“I’m going to miss you,
Em.”

“You don’t have to
leave.”

“Yeah…yeah, I do.” I sighed
and let Emily go. I looked out the window and saw it was almost dark. A little
patch of orange tried to hang on under the overpowering night sky. I could
relate. “Give Mike and Jake a hug for me okay?” Emily nodded and watched me
climb up onto the desk. Just as planned the screen popped out. “Oh and remember
you are in charge of your own destiny. Don’t let people tell you how to live
your life. Find what makes you happy.”

I rolled over onto my
stomach and slid out the window. The moment my feet touched the ground, I stood
up and flipped my long hair back over my shoulders. “One more thing,” I said
and unzipped the side pocket on my bag. I pulled out a book and set it on the
desk. “Read this. You’ll understand me more after you do. Or at least I hope
you understand me more.” Emily picked up the book and turned it over in her
hand to read the cover.

“
The Feminine Mystique
?”

“Yes. It’s a good read.
Okay, well, I guess I’ll be seeing ya!” With a final wave I jogged away from
the house and away from oppression.

I had a date with Johnny
and my future.