Empty Streets (12 page)

She reached out, touching his face. She put her hands on his knees and leaned into him. "It isn't just Ezra. Before I came outside, I felt sick constantly too. I won't wait it out and hope I make it to graduation. We're in this together. We take risks together. It can't be any other way."

He hugged her against his chest. His hands traced the outline of her back, down her spine to the small of her waist. He loosened his hold and placed his forehead against hers, breathing in the air they shared before kissing her. Her body tensed.

"What?" he asked.

"I've just never kissed anyone, like that," she admitted.

"Well, what do you think?"

She climbed onto his lap and looked down at his face. The dark, muted night enclosed them in a strange, empty closet, a small pocket of intimacy. She kissed him, lightly at first, tasting the skin around his mouth, his chin, his eyelids, and then kissing his lips. She was happy and full, but devastated and terrified as the numbness that had descended after Ezra's death melted away.

"I worry about you," he whispered.

"Don't," she replied.

The first raindrop was small and slipped down the back of her shirt. The coolness of it compared to the heat of his skin made her shiver. Then the rain came-fat, heavy drops against the back of her head, down her face, blurring together where her lips started and his stopped.

Eri slid off his lap, the rain blurring her vision. She walked to the middle of the roof and looked up into the black of the sky. Lightening illuminated the world in random bursts. She was reminded of the fireworks she had watched through the Sims as a child. She raised her arms to the sky and let the rain wash over her skin. The rain and the air and the memory of Ezra.

The differences between experiences in the real world versus the Sims world grew distinct in her mind. Real feelings were so intensely strong-sadness, excitement, anticipation, warmth-and she struggled to cope with them as they bombarded her one after another. Yet, she felt a lightness to her, accompanied with a strong sense of her own mortality. The regular, dim routine of her existence evaporated through her pores, replaced by a sturdier conviction-fueled desperation that made nothing and everything infinitely important.

The rain lightened, drawing away from her the blanket of grey water that enveloped her body. Her heavy clothes stuck to her skin. She removed her shirt, layering down to a tank top. She let the water run down her arms, thinking about how it seemed that the world cried out of loneliness.

She returned to Bodhi. His hair dripped rivers onto his face and his T-shirt clung to his shoulders and chest.

"I think you're beautiful," he said, his words blurred with rain. He blinked hard at her, his face intense with emotion.

Eri smiled, simultaneously shy and exhilarated. "I think you're beautiful too," she said. And she meant it.

She pushed the wet hair off his forehead and leaned into him, pressing her cheek against his. Encircling her arms around his neck, she put her lips on his neck as he stood, lifting her off her feet and hugging her tightly.

"Okay, then. Together?" he asked.

"Together," she answered.

An accidental date

Eri sat in class, her bored digital head supported by a flat, digital palm. After a week of awkward oral presentations, history class was back to the drone of lecturing and notes, often with a quiz at the end of class. Ms. Fritz wrapped up her spiel on the underutilization of war technology. After a moment of silence while she surveyed their enraptured faces, she announced, "No quiz today." A collective sigh arose from the room.

"Hi," a voice said from behind Eri. She startled; others had moved out of their seats while she was still staring into space. She turned to see a young man standing next to her desk, peering down at her. He looked vaguely familiar.

"Um, hi?" Eri wasn't sure if she should stand. He was really close to her desk. Standing would put her oddly close to him. But staying seated meant he would continue peering down at her and that was weird, too. She stayed seated.

"So, you might not remember me, but we had math in the same section last semester? We were in a group together?" He seemed hopeful in his nudging, like perhaps she would finally remember his name and that she had been hoping to see him. She sighed. She hated how hard it was for her to remember names.

"I'm sorry, I'm not great with names. But you do look familiar." She wondered if that would soften the blow to his ego.

"Right," he laughed, his ego clearly not damaged. "My name is Zander." He smiled a dazzling smile down at her. It was strangely close to a sneer. His perfect teeth and chiseled jaw made her instantly suspicious that he looked nothing like his persona in real life. She smiled back weakly, unsure how to escape his attention. She was trapped.

"Well, a couple of us are getting together during our IP time to go bowling and then, ya know, hang out afterwards…" He trailed off, raising an eyebrow at her. She assumed this meant they were going to do things that required other software or had age restrictions. When she didn't respond, he added, "I wondered if you wanted to come with me." He smiled a smile that dared her to say no, and Eri felt small and uncomfortable.

"Um, I..." She looked down, trying to think of a way to say no.

Bodhi appeared at Zander's elbow. "Hey, Zander." Eri exhaled with relief.

Zander's eyes moved to Bodhi with irritation. "Hey, Bode. Was just making plans for IP time." He winked at Eri. She cringed.

"Eri and I are supposed to get together to study later, but if she'd rather hang with your crew, we can change our plans." Bodhi created a perfectly odd dynamic Zander didn't know how to respond to.

"Um, sure, we could do that." Zander's eyes darted from Eri to Bodhi as they both stared at him. "Yeah, that would be cool. Use code seventy-four thirty-three when you log on. Seven pm." He smiled at Eri again and walked away without acknowledging Bodhi.

Eri let out a breath. "Thanks for the save. He creeps me out." She shivered.

Bodhi's lips moved into a hard, unhappy line. "He should creep you out. You have good intuition. There are rumors about him…ones that I would feel bad spreading in case they aren't true. I wouldn't want any female alone with him, though." Bodhi watched Zander walk away.

Eri looked at him curiously. "We are just simulations. He couldn't really hurt anyone."

Bodhi shook his head. "I'm not sure about that. So tonight at seven?"

She sighed. "Sure. But am I going on a date with you or with Zander?"

Bodhi laughed. "I did confuse his plans a bit. I think perhaps it would be best if you were with me, but of course, we are just friends, right?" He winked at her.

She blushed as she logged off.

Eri unstrapped herself from her seat and went upstairs to eat. Her parents sat blandly in front of the TV. A pill bottle sat on its side on the couch between them.

"Hi," Eri said, looking at the TV. It was turned up too loud.

"Hi, honey," her mom slurred.

"Dinner on your own tonight," her dad mumbled, his eyes not leaving the TV. A ticker ran along the bottom, shouting the national news at them at high speed. Rapes, murders, fires, shootings, drug busts, sun poisoning, election season, lowest unemployment rate ever recorded, lowest levels of bacterial and viral infections, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera. Eri wondered how much of it was real. She rolled her eyes as she moved to the dining room table to eat a bowl of grainy, bland cereal. She remembered eating honey once. She tried to conjure up the memory of its sweet, warm texture.

* * * *

Eri was nervous; socializing was uncomfortable. Bodhi being there made it more complicated. She was pretty sure they had decided not to date through the Sims, but she was also pretty sure he was blatantly hitting on her. She sighed. She wasn't a good liar. She couldn't pretend she didn't want to be with Bodhi, simulated or not. They would need to talk about this.

She got situated in the Sims machine, enclosing herself more than she usually did. She put up and locked the privacy doors. She put on the gloves, the electrodes and wire connectors, the goggles, attaching her feet carefully to the foot controls. Once all the way in, she heard it power up and in front of her eyes appeared a place for her to type her sign on and password, and then a code for a section number. She typed in the code she was pretty sure Zander had given her and then hoped to appear at a location she recognized.

As the pixels filled in her vision, she could hear the sounds of a bowling alley around her. She stood in the entryway, with the bowling area directly in front of her. A cool breeze fell upon her skin from the left. She looked left and saw a large indoor ice skating rink. Beyond that, a pizza place.

She walked to the bowling area, seeing Zander and another girl from her history class, and then two other boys she was pretty sure were in her lit class. She cursed herself for being so antisocial. How had she ended up here?

An arm nudged hers and she looked to her right, where Bodhi stood looking down at her.

"You're tall," she stated, looking up at him.

"Yeah, well, my persona is. I could be five foot tall in real life and you would never know." He smirked at her.

She opened her mouth to protest and then shut it.

"Unless," he continued, "you want to take a risk and put in a request for the marriage pool?" He tugged on her hair slightly, smiling a devilish grin.

Eri narrowed her eyes at him. Bodhi did nothing unintentionally. She would need to think about how to play along with this.

"Well," she responded with a coy look, "I would be willing to add your name to the long list of suitors I have. But I'm not sure I'm the marrying type."

"Oh, yeah?" he said. "And why is that?"

"I don't know, one person your whole life? Kinda boring. Isn't there a "random dating" option? Or an 'I'll try this and if it doesn't work out, I will give him back' option?"

He laughed. "Maybe. I've never seen the form. We will find out soon, though." He said this last sentence slowly, intentionally, and she caught a glimpse of what he was doing. She wondered if he was setting up a potential interest between them, so when they had to apply for housing later, they might request each other in the marriage pool. And once school ended in June…she wasn't guaranteed to see him in the fall if they didn't put in for married housing.

He watched as she processed all of this from his one intentional sentence. She looked up at him, scrunched her nose and punched him in the arm.

"Ow, what was that for?" He laughed as he rubbed his arm.

"Just 'cause." She smiled and walked towards the crew they were supposed to hang out with. Bodhi put his arm lightly around her shoulders as he bent down to whisper in her ear. She stopped walking, placing a hand on his chest in response to his leaning down towards her. Touching him even through the Sims made her heart beat harder.

"And, in case you are wondering, you are here with me." His breath tickled her ear.

"Thanks for clarifying," she whispered.

She turned just in time to see Zander eyeing them, reading their body language with irritation. The intensity of his stare and clear dislike for Bodhi made her uncomfortable, yet satisfied. Zander seemed like the type of person it might be fun to irritate.

"Hi," Eri said as she sat down on a bench. Bodhi sat on a different bench, striking up a conversation with one of the other boys. Eri could hear them talking about math and gathered they were in class together. One of the girls sitting with Zander got up to sit by Eri.

"Hey, Eri!"

It took Eri a moment to place the voice. "Taya. Nice to see you. Thanks for letting us hang out with you tonight, it's been awhile since I did anything fun." Eri smiled tentatively at Taya, hoping she didn't sound like a total loser.

"I can't believe you recognized me just from my voice! Impressive." Taya smiled. "This year has been so hard, getting ready for the AE. I think we are all using less IP time."

Eri glanced over and watched Zander take in the scene around him, focusing on Eri. She locked eyes with him and noticed a flicker of something in his face: desire, frustration, anger? She wasn't sure, and his look changed to one of cool apathy before she could pin it down.

Several frames into the game, Bodhi wandered over and sat next to Eri.

"So? Okay?" he asked, raising his eyebrows.

"Yeah, for the most part." She imperceptibly nodded her head in Zander's direction. Bodhi nodded.

"Yup. Maybe after this game, you and I could head over to ice skate."

Taya returned, hearing Bodhi's invite. She wrinkled her nose. "No way. You two are crazy. I hate being cold. I mean, what is the point of being in a simulator if you are going to feel cold?"

Bodhi shrugged. "Some people like the cold."

"Yeah, well, they're wrong." She shook her head.

As soon as the last frame was bowled, Bodhi grabbed Eri's hand. "We are going to skate. See ya'll for pizza in a bit?" Bodhi asked as he tugged Eri towards him.

"Sure!" Taya said. Zander was deep in conversation with the other female in the group and didn't look up. Eri thought she knew the girl, maybe from her math class.

Bodhi and Eri walked in silence until they were out of earshot.

"Did you notice that?" Bodhi asked.

"What? You mean the creepiness that's Zander?"

"Yeah. Do you think we should try to save that girl?" Bodhi looked torn. He glanced over his shoulder at Zander.

"I'm sure she's okay. She seems to be enjoying his attention enough. Besides, remember, this is a simulation. She can leave at any time." Eri rolled her eyes at Bodhi. He was such a worrywart.

"Just because it's a simulation doesn't mean he can't hurt her or scare her."

Eri glanced back, and a cold stone sank into the pit of her stomach. Something about Zander wasn't right. She was thankful Bodhi had shown up today when he had.

They reached the ice rink and stood near the lockers, where they could store their shoes as they changed into skates. She wasn't sure why she couldn't just tell the simulation to change her footwear. Maybe the software developers thought the process of putting on the skates was important enough to make them simulate it.