Empathy (22 page)

“Ryan,” I whisper. His hand shoots forwards, startling me again, the pointed end of the corkscrew mere centimetres from my eye.

“I opened you some wine. Come down and drink it.”

My breathing is non-existent. His hand drops and he stalks off. What the actual hell?

I rush to get dressed, noticing it’s two a.m. Music is playing and when I turn into the living room there’s a girl dancing on the coffee table. She’s wearing a short leather skirt and a thin piece of fabric over her chest. When I get closer I see something wrapped around her head; it’s a ball gag, her mouth holding the ball. She seems to not mind.

“Here, drink up. I called you a cab.”

I pick my jaw off the floor and shake my head to his offering of wine. “You could have left me sleeping, Ry.”

He looks at the girl and then at me. “I can’t risk having you here when I’m like this,” he mumbles.

Heels click across the floor and a woman in full leathers struts into the room towards us. My eyes nearly fall from my head and I turn to Ryan.

“I need you to leave for the night. We can hang tomorrow.”

“Unless she wants to stay and play?” The woman smirks. She bends forward to an open bag and brings out another gag.

I march from the house as a cab pulls up. I give the driver a twenty and tell him I have my car.

I miss him. I missed him before he even left, which is crazy but I’m crazy in love and it wreaks havoc with my emotions. I just want to crawl inside him and live there. I want to constantly hear his heartbeat so I know he’s here, living and breathing. I’m one of those annoying women who live for their man. Urgh, I’m pathetic. I check my phone, there’s nothing from him, and no reply to my texts asking if he made it safely.

Ryan has left me a voicemail telling me to pick things up for the party tonight and to get round there to help set up. I’m still not comfortable with it but the longer I don’t hear from Blake, the more I needed the distraction.

The house is bustling with people, and music resonates through the walls giving the house a pulse. How he managed to get so many people to turn up on such short notice was surprising and unfortunate. The clean-up is going to be messy and Blake is going to kick our asses.

My phone vibrates against my chest from where I stored it in my bra. I don’t trust to just leave it somewhere. I hardly recognise anyone except Red and Cherry who are practically vibrating with excitement, both wanting to catch Ryan’s eye. I’ve never revisited the time he made that woman choke giving him head. I don’t know if those girls could handle him but it isn’t my place to talk about his business so I guess if they’re willing to make a play they’ll either have to enjoy the ride or leave the park he likes to play in.

Blake’s name flashes on my screen and my unsettled nerves from not hearing from him fizzle when I accept the call and hear his voice. “Hey.”

I rush outside to get away from the noise, but I’m not quick enough. “Tell me that’s not a party at my house, Melody?”

I swallow. He hardly ever uses my given name. “Ryan invited some people over.” The rowdy noises in the background light up my lie.

“I can’t believe this. Very mature, Mel. Shit, you should be dating him.” That hurts.

“Nice, Blake. I haven’t heard from you and this is what you want to say to me?”

Crackles down the line from his exhale make me pull the phone away slightly. “I can’t deal with this. Call me when you stop the needy woman shit.”

The phone goes dead and so does my heart. The few drinks I had earlier magnify my emotions.

Stepping back inside, I come to a halt. The girl I saw fleeing here is staring at me. Screw this; I can be the bigger person.

“Hey, I’m Melody. I saw you leaving here yesterday.”

“Yes, you did. He will chew you up too. He’s incapable of love.” She’s hurting so I just nod my head, she doesn’t need me telling her that he just couldn’t love her. “He will never commit or give up his trips and privacy. Have you ever seen inside the office he keeps locked?”

“Have you?”

She narrows her eyes. “No, no-one has, that’s the point. He has secrets, and from the way he is emotionally deficient, they can’t be good secrets.” She brushes past me as she leaves. I hate that she’s making me paranoid but I can’t lie to myself. I don’t understand why he is the way he is. What can he have in his office that has to be kept such guard of?

I look around at the people all laughing, dancing and filling the downstairs of the house to capacity. I stalk to the kitchen, rummaging through the drawers and find a screwdriver.

I march up the stairs, and a guy comes from the bathroom and smiles at me. “Hey.”

I wave and he stops, his eyes raking over me. Shit, does everyone think saying
hey
at a party is a come on?

“Hey back.” He lifts his chin, trying to be sexy and I hold back my cringe.

I need him. I hold up the screwdriver and his eyes widen, questioning me.

“Can you help me out? I need to get into my room. I locked it to keep party goers out but then lost the key.” I pout.

He grins. “Sure thing.” He makes quick work of unscrewing the door from its frame. Ha, that was pretty easy, maybe it’s not kept under heavy guard. Ignoring a few questioning looks from people going to use the bathroom. I feel like a crazy girlfriend now but I let the alcohol give me false courage.

The guy looks inside, his brow furrowing. “Where’s your bed?”

I step inside. The white walls are bare, there’s nothing but a safe and a computer desk with a laptop on.

“I sleep on the floor, I get back pain,” I tell him. He shrugs and leaves.

I pace the small empty space, wringing my hands together before building the courage to go over to the desk. It has three drawers down the front on the right hand side, leaving a gap for the office chair to the left. Opening the laptop, the screen powers up and prompts me for a password. I drum my fingers on the desk, debating whether to try guessing but I know it will be impossible and may alert Blake to the fact someone tried and failed. Instead I try the drawers and pull one open, surprised it isn’t locked. There is a bundle of papers in there, some with addresses on. I lift out the contents and sift through, ignoring the gnawing guilt in my stomach. The feeling is fleeting and soon turns into a nervous sickness.

I fall back into the seat when I see me. My life, my family. I examine paper after paper, all filled with information on me. My aunt, half-brother; my father’s wealth and business. The room is closing in around me, the air being sucked out. All noise from the people downstairs fades. Everything stills including my heartbeat when I come to documents dated back to when my parents were killed.

Why would Blake have all this? How long has he been investigating their murder? Sucking at the air to fill my lungs I close my eyes and count slowly to ten. Timidly opening them again, I read the document clutched in my fist.

A hot pulse of despair races through my system. Someone paid $300k to kill the people I would pay everything I own and more to have back? Why didn’t the killer go to my father and ask for more in exchange for his life? Tears blur my vison, soaking my cheeks. I swipe angrily at them. The police haven’t told me any of this information, they just spun me lies.
Unless Blake hasn’t shared his findings yet.
I turn over the next page, my breath seizing.

No. No!

I can’t breathe. I look around but there’s no window. I rush from the room, down the stairs and out of the house, retching. I lose the drink I consumed to the flower bed. Markus hired someone to kill our dad? Oh my God. He’s still being awkward about getting the paternity test done so I still don’t know if he was our Dad or just mine. Markus stole him, stole both of my parents from me.

Blake is investigating my parents’ murder. Is that why he’s with me? I’m drowning from my own heart bursting. I can’t understand this. I walk back through the door and grab a bottle of Jack Daniel’s then head back out and jump into my car. I need to be alone.

I CAME TO WATCH MY father with his family. I have two sisters. It’s weird, always living life just for Ryan and then tumbling down the rabbit hole straight into love with Melody, and now I’m looking at miniature versions of myself in female form, and God willing, not harboring the internal battle with a beast. I was tormented when I called Melody and upset her. Her voice always wavers when she’s upset. I need to have words with Ryan, this shit is getting old fast, but first I need to go to her. I phone to tell her I’m coming back early. I’m only an hour out.