Emma hearts LA (16 page)

‘Oh, good,’ I say. ‘Spill it.’

I slide open the door and step out onto the terrace. The wood is warm under my bare feet.

‘Mum’s got a meeting in LA next week,’ Jessie says. ‘And she suggested I fly out with her—’

I screech so loud that a few small birds actually fly up off the fence and flutter in a panic.

After I’ve showered and had some breakfast and Bex has tried to convince me to do some yoga with her because, according to her, I ‘look really wound up’, I phone Oscar, but it goes straight to voicemail.

I leave a message apologising for inviting Alex along and for all the paparazzi turning up at Wok the Boat and asking him to call me. I really wish I could speak to him. It seems wrong leaving a message, but it also seems wrong not to leave one.

I stare at it for a while, willing Oscar to phone back and then I notice I’ve got a voicemail. From Alex. He apologises for the TMZ thing and says, ‘I know it was a lot to deal with last night. And now this. I’m really sorry. I didn’t mean to freak you out. Give me a call.’

I sit on the terrace and sketch for a while until the tiredness from the disturbed night’s sleep catches up with me and I fall asleep.

When I wake up there’s a text from Oscar:
NO PROBS. WE’RE COOL. PLEASE DON’T COME ROUND SINGING
;-)

I smile at the phone. I’m glad he’s all right. I’d be stupid to risk losing a friend like him.

I phone Alex and am surprised when he answers almost immediately.

‘I’m so sorry about the paparazzi stuff,’ he says, again.

‘I know, that’s OK,’ I tell him.

‘I forgot what it feels like the first time it happens to you. Then when I saw that video this morning…you looked scared.’

‘It was scary. But I’m fine now. Don’t worry.’

‘You looked pretty scared when I kissed you too,’ Alex says.

I picture his face and I smile. ‘I’m really sorry about that. I…I can’t cope with the paparazzi stuff. I’m sorry, but I just wouldn’t be able to relax.’

‘That’s OK,’ he says. ‘Thanks for being honest with me.’

‘No problem,’ I say and then I feel terrible. Because I haven’t been honest at all, have I? With anyone.

Mum’s gone straight from work to get her hair cut and Bex and I are meeting her for dinner at the Sidewalk Café. We get there a bit early so we walk over to the skatepark. I’ve brought my notebook, so I sit on a low wall next to the multi-coloured
VENICE
ground mosaic, while Bex leans over the skatepark railings. I draw the lifeguard hut on the beach and when I’m done, I look over and see Bex talking to the boy whose skateboard got loose when we were talking to Tabby. I walk over.

‘This is Drew,’ Bex says. He’s quite cute with shaggy hair and skinny jeans. ‘He says he can teach me to skate.’

‘Brave boy,’ I tell him and he grins.

‘It’s a good thing to have on your résumé,’ he says. He’s got a surprisingly deep voice.

‘Drew’s been in
Zeke & Luther
,’ Bex tells me and I roll my eyes. Of course he has.

Bex and I are walking back across the grass to the Sidewalk Café when I hear someone shout, ‘Hey! Emma!’

I turn round and see Tabby heading straight for me. She looks so furious that for a second I think she’s going to hit me, but she stops dead in front of me and says, ‘What’s your problem?’

‘What?’ I can’t quite believe this is happening.

‘You heard me. What’s your problem? Oscar’s a great guy and you bring Alex Hall along on a date?’

‘It wasn’t a date. We’re just friends. Not that it’s any of your business.’

‘It’s my business because Oscar is my friend. And you – you’re supposed to be his oldest friend. He was so excited about you coming to live over here – you treat him like crap.’

‘I don’t,’ I tell her. ‘Things have been a bit weird the last couple days, but I’ve spoken to him and he knows I’m sorry about the Alex thing.’

She shakes her head and starts to walk away, but then turns back. ‘You’re clueless. You don’t deserve him.’

Bex and I get a seat outside the Sidewalk Café. The family at the next table has tethered their dog to the railing – the dog is on the boardwalk side – but he keeps jumping up so they can feed him bits of their breakfast.

‘Are you OK?’ Bex asks, for at least the third time. I’ve told her I don’t want to tell Mum about Tabby and she agreed not to mention it.

I nod. ‘She doesn’t know what she’s talking about. I apologised and he texted and he’s fine. Everything’s fine.’

Bex tries to distract me by telling me about an audition Emily’s planning to send her on and, as she talks, I watch the people on the Boardwalk. There’s the rollerblading electric-guitar turban guy we see every time and then a girl appears wearing tiny gold shorts, a gold bikini top and cowboy boots. She stands for a second as if she’s thinking of coming in to the café, but then backflips away down the Boardwalk as if it’s the most natural thing in the world.

Mum arrives just as the gold girl disappears out of view.

‘Did you see that?’ she asks, laughing.

‘Your hair looks fantastic,’ I say. It’s much shorter, just about shoulder-length, with a sweeping fringe and she’s had it coloured too, to a sort of honey blonde.

‘It makes you look about twenty years younger!’ Bex says, which is a bit of an exaggeration since Mum’s forty-two and she certainly doesn’t look twenty-two. She does look lovely though, the best I’ve ever seen her look.

She’s had the same hairstyle for pretty much her entire adult life – there are photos of her with Dad at university and Mum’s hair was the same: long, mousy brown, mostly straight but curly towards the ends. The only thing that’s ever changed is that she’s started to get the odd grey hair at the sides. This cut – and especially the colour – really is a transformation.

‘Well, I need to look my best for the fancy benefit we’re all going to,’ Mum says.

‘What’s this?’ I ask.

‘It’s at the Griffith Observatory. It’s going to be very glamorous. There’ll be all manner of celebrities and beautiful people there. And we’re all going.’

Bex bounces in her seat and starts asking about the dress code, while I stare at a man walking past with his skin painted red, wearing a loincloth and dragging a huge wooden cross.

‘This place is insane,’ I say.

‘You can’t call it boring, though,’ Mum says. ‘And I don’t know about you, but I’m more than ready for a bit of excitement in my life.’

‘Really?’ I say. ‘You were bored at home?’

Before she can answer, the waiter comes over to take our order.

I think one of the reasons I found the past year so hard is that life had become so uncertain. Before they split up, even though my parents worked a lot, they were always really dependable. Even when I was sympathising with Jessie for her mum leaving and moving to New York, and for her dad falling in love with another man, I was also a bit envious. Jessie’s family was interesting, at least. Mine were always just a bit…beige. But then when my dad fell in love with someone else and left and we had to sell the house, beige started to seem preferable.

‘It’s not so much that I was bored,’ Mum says, once the waiter’s gone. ‘I’d arranged my life exactly how I wanted it, which was fine. But then there were no surprises. Ever. I got stuck in a rut, I suppose. Your dad and I both did. At first it’s comfortable and then, after a while, it just becomes routine and it’s so hard to break out of.’

‘So if Dad hadn’t met Clare…?’

‘Who knows?’ she says. ‘Maybe we’d have ended it anyway. Maybe I would have met someone.’

‘We always thought you were happy,’ Bex says.

Mum reaches over and takes my sister’s hand. ‘We were! We were really happy for a long time. And then even when we weren’t exactly happy, we weren’t unhappy either. I know it was a shock to you when your dad and I split up. God knows, it was a shock to me too. But he was right to leave. Maybe not the way he did it, but he was still right.’

‘How can you say that?’ I say. ‘You could’ve worked it out. You could’ve gone to counselling or something. He didn’t have to just leave.’

Mum shakes her head. ‘Sweetie, we did go to counselling. We just weren’t in love any more.’

‘You went to counselling? When?’

‘We went a few times over the past few years. We tried really hard to make it work. The last thing we wanted to do was split up the family.’

‘It might have been the last thing
you
wanted to do, but it obviously wasn’t the last thing Dad wanted to do,’ I say. I look at Bex. She looks tearful.

‘You really should give your dad a break, Em,’ Mum says. ‘I know how much it hurt you when he left. It broke his heart. But what did you want him to do? He’s happy with Clare. Would you rather he was unhappy with us?’

‘Yes,’ I say, forcefully. ‘Because it’s not just about him. What about us? Doesn’t he care about our happiness?’

‘Of course he does. But not at the expense of his own. And that’s absolutely right. I think I’d have done the same, if I’d met someone.’

‘You wouldn’t,’ I say.

‘You don’t know that, Em,’ Mum says. ‘You don’t know what you’d do until you’re in that situation. All I know is that your dad loves you two more than anything. He always has and he always will.’

When Mum goes inside to pay, Bex says, ‘Don’t you think you’ll ever forgive Dad?’

The question catches me off-guard and I actually gasp.

‘I mean, he didn’t do it to hurt you,’ Bex says. ‘He just fell in love with someone else.’

My eyes fill with tears. I remember telling Jessie that her mum hadn’t taken up with Ben to hurt her – she’d just fallen for him. It’s so easy to give advice to other people and so hard when it happens to you. Ugh.

I sigh. ‘Of course I will.’

‘So why don’t you phone him?’ she says. ‘He asks about you every time I talk to him. He really misses you.’ The two red patches rise on her cheeks and, for a second, it makes me think of Oscar.

‘I miss him too,’ I say. ‘I’m just not ready to talk to him yet.’

Bex nods. ‘Can I tell him that?’

My sister is so much wiser than she seems. ‘Yes. You can tell him that.’

We decide to walk up to Santa Monica. Mum hasn’t seen the pier yet and Bex wants another go on the Ferris wheel.

We’re about halfway when I see a flash of Oscar’s distinctive red hair in the distance and my stomach flips over.

‘Is that Oscar?’ Mum says, squinting into the sun. ‘It is. I would never have thought he’d be one for hair like that, you know. He was always so shy.’

‘He’s changed a lot,’ I say. ‘I’m amazed at how much, really.’

He’s busking near the Hot Dog Stick place and a few people are standing around listening. Some tourists are even taking photos.

‘He’s good,’ Mum says, smiling.

And he is. He’s really good. I don’t know the song – I don’t know if it’s a real song or something he’s written himself – but he’s singing it confidently and smiling his huge smile. And then he turns our way and falters for just a second, before raising one eyebrow and getting right back into the swing of it. The crowd seems to love him and it’s not hard to see why.

When he finishes the song, he says, ‘I’m just going to take a quick break. Back in two.’

He reaches down and picks up the bag that had been between his feet and I realise it’s heavy with change.

‘You’re really good!’ Mum says.

‘You mean you didn’t think my kayak song was my best work?’ Oscar says, grinning.

‘Well, that was wonderful, of course,’ Mum says, smiling at me. ‘But I think this one was even better. Did you write it?’

He nods. ‘It’s called “Love on the Box”. It’s based on the Neil Diamond song, “Love on the Rocks”, but it’s about falling in love with a TV character.’

Mum and Bex both laugh, but I immediately feel paranoid. Does he mean me? Or am I just being completely egotistical? And Alex isn’t a TV character, of course, he’s a TV actor. But still. Maybe Tabby’s right and Oscar isn’t quite as OK with things as I assumed.

I haven’t told Jessie I’m meeting her at the airport, but her mum, Natalie, knows. I had to confirm the times with her and make sure I was OK to travel back in the car with them. She and Jessie have got separate, adjoining rooms at their hotel, so Natalie’s arranged for me to stay overnight with Jessie. I’m so excited I can barely stand still. I can’t quite believe it’s been a year since I last saw her. She was supposed to come back to Manchester for Christmas, but then her dad surprised her with a trip to Barbados after he and Rhys got married, so she didn’t make it back. We’ve Skyped and talked a lot, but it’s not the same.

I see Natalie first and she spots me – she’s obviously looking out for me. She smiles and winks and then carries on talking to Jessie as if nothing’s up. They both look fantastic. Natalie is as glamorous as always – she’ll fit in very well in LA – and Jessie looks great too. Her long hair is tied back in a low ponytail and she’s wearing jeans and a hoodie with the logo of her mum’s Broadway show on it. I’m glad things have improved so much between them. I always really liked Natalie, but she and Jessie have had to work hard to become as close as my mum and I have always been. I sometimes forget how lucky I am. Actually, I often forget how lucky I am.